Thoughts about trans support groups?

[Nicole Dupre]

I agree with this. I had a pretty straight life for 20 years and transitioning was still a culture shock for me. I can't even hold a girls hand any more in public with out being stared at. I wasn't ready for that, but I was pretty assimilated after a year or so. But I am also a very open minded person and not uptight at all. I think people who transition in their 30's and 40's and so on would have a much harder time getting used to life. Just from watching, you can see that they are very uncomfortable and a lot of them hardly ever leave the house and stay in the closet for years.

I still think ts girls who grew up as gay boys/men bring over the gay boy queen acting drama from that community though.

People bring drama, period, from everywhere. It's probably just the brand of drama that's more foreign to you. lol

I never saw as much TS drama as I did in Chicago last year, and none of those "girls" were ex-gayboys. But that was basically trailer trash drama.

Imo the closet-case chasers bring the most drama to the TS "scene".

[AmyDaly]

People bring drama, period, from everywhere.

pretty true there

[Nicole Dupre]

:



Well I am glad you asked because they introduced themselves as gay men who crossdress, It is my opinion that they do it as a fetish, but agian I only met them once.
Yes my mother knows and I even take her to therapy with me on a regular basis at least once a month sometimes twice.

Does your mom call you James still, or Ericka?

Does she consider you to truly be her daughter now, or does she not understand it?

Tell us how she feels about you being a TS.

[BigBlackMan]

Keep it positive guys

[Erika1487]

Does your mom call you James still, or Ericka?

Does she consider you to truly be her daughter now, or does she not understand it?

Tell us how she feels about you being a TS.

She calls me Erika at home & Eric my middle name in public.

Mom thinks that I am her son, but knows and understands that I am transitioning and will accept me one day as her daughter.

The hardest thing for her to accept is that I date men and not women.
Her ideal for me was to get married (which almost happened) and give her grandchildren. I still think that I can give her childern and have a family, but in a different way than the traditional nuclear family.
I think the first therapy session with her beside me was the most nerve racking hour of my life. We both cried for almost the entire session and in the end we came out understanding each other a little better

[Nicole Dupre]

She calls me Erika at home & Eric my middle name in public.

Mom thinks that I am her son, but knows and understands that I am transitioning and will accept me one day as her daughter.

The hardest thing for her to accept is that I date men and not women.
Her ideal for me was to get married (which almost happened) and give her grandchildren. I still think that I can give her childern and have a family, but in a different way than the traditional nuclear family.
I think the first therapy session with her beside me was the most nerve racking hour of my life. We both cried for almost the entire session and in the end we came out understanding each other a little better

You told her you were a TS in therapy? Why was there crying?

[Erika1487]

You told her you were a TS in therapy? Why was there crying?

Do really I have to explain how hard it is to come out to your own mother. I am sure if you ask mothers of trans daughters if they shed a tear or two the anwser would be yes.
In my mom's case she kind of noticed my body changing some, but really had no idea. It was a big emotional relese for both of us. The loss of her "son" and the idea she has a "daughter" is still tuff for her. We are working things out in therapy and my therapist is wonderful and caring person, who has made major breakthroughs in our sessions.

[Nicole Dupre]

She calls me Erika at home & Eric my middle name in public.

Mom thinks that I am her son, but knows and understands that I am transitioning and will accept me one day as her daughter.

The hardest thing for her to accept is that I date men and not women.
Her ideal for me was to get married (which almost happened) and give her grandchildren. I still think that I can give her childern and have a family, but in a different way than the traditional nuclear family.
I think the first therapy session with her beside me was the most nerve racking hour of my life. We both cried for almost the entire session and in the end we came out understanding each other a little better

Also, don't you feel it's a little torturous to have her calling you both Erica and Eric? Why only do it in public? Where do you two go in public together, when you're as living Erica?

Will she ever accept you bringing a BF home do you think? I think you're assuming a lot, that she's thinking of you as her son now, but she'll think of you as her daughter later. Did she actually tell you that, or do you just hope that she will?

[Nicole Dupre]

Do really I have to explain how hard it is to come out to your own mother. I am sure if you ask mothers of trans daughters if they shed a tear or two the anwser would be yes.
In my mom's case she kind of noticed my body changing some, but really had no idea. It was a big emotional relese for both of us. The loss of her "son" and the idea she has a "daughter" is still tuff for her. We are working things out in therapy and my therapist is wonderful and caring person, who has made major breakthroughs in our sessions.

lol Why not? I already told you about telling my mom when I wasn't even 2 yrs old. Sure, my mom's shed tears, and I've cried with her. But not really over me having GID exactly. lol It wasn't exactly a cakewalk, just because she always knew about it tho'.

Well, that's cool. I feel pretty lucky to have had parents like mine tbh. We had disagreements, but being TS was never the worst of it, actually.

Does your mom agree that you should go out more as Ericka too, or is it hard on her to be with you dressed like that?

[Erika1487]

Also, don't you feel it's a little torturous to have her calling you both Erica and Eric? Why only do it in public? Where do you two go in public together, when you're as living Erica?

Will she ever accept you bringing a BF home do you think? I think you're assuming a lot, that she's thinking of you as her son now, but she'll think of you as her daughter later. Did she actually tell you that, or do you just hope that she will?

Yes it is of torturous to be called both, but she is working on it. after almost 32yrs it's hard to change over night.

She calls me Eric in public locally to protect my identity for work.

We go out to state parks for picnics and go shopping 30 to 40 mi away from home together...A) to protect my day job B) there is really nothing close by in our small county.

I think it will be a big challenge for her to let me bring a BF home now. Maybe when she gets more comfortable with the whole "I am dating men now" aspect of my life.

She has told me that I am her son, but will accept me no matter how I live my life. If I want to live as a woman she said she will be right there behind me supporting me. She is even worried that I need to get a mammogram soon! I told her we will go together this December when hers is due agian as mother & daughter.