Is Tgirl a better word - and should that become the norm?

[GroobySteven]

No honestly I have no issue with them saying that, here is why.

I don't presume to know 100% what it's like to be a woman, just like I don't presume to know what it's like to be post-operative. At this moment in my life, because I'm non-op I will never know it. It's why when I speak to post-operative trans-women it fascinates me. I even sometimes yearn for that side of life, however I just don't feel the surgery is up to par for my liking.

I know I'm a transsexual woman and what I deal with. I know a 100% what being a transsexual is about. That's what I DO KNOW.

I am a woman in my mind, but I think I miss out on things a cis woman deals with. Just like many women I have spoken to who can't have babies they feel like they are missing on something about being a woman.

It's not a superiority thing..it's about knowing that trans-women/men identify as the opposite sex they were born and crossdressers, transvestites, drag queens are typically CIS people that do it part time. They live as men and are happy that way. They are typically treated like any other man as long as nobody knows.

A transsexual doesn't have that luxory, but what we do have is contempt and confusion from mainstream society thinking we do it for sexual purposes, fetish, laughs, and financial purposes. That's what we get..so you really don't understand why it would annoy us??

Great post Kelly.

[MrsKellyPierce]

Not to mention a genetic woman IS RIGHT when she says she isn't like us.

Genetic women don't have to deal with dysphoria..ridicule for being something society deems they aren't...labeled the freak/secret...the list goes on.

I think the closest thing women can compare to our problems is when talking to some of my BBW porn friends are the bbw chasers and how society treats fat women even award shows..that would probably be the closest thing women can have to compare our situations..I was shocked to hear how similar the way they are treated by men.

We are different that's just truth..maybe in the future with technology we will have the possibilities of babies etc or a way to find out if a transsexual is a transsexual from birth.

WHO KNOWS...but all I do know is I'm not a crossdresser, transvestite, drag queen and we are not the same.

[GroobyKrissy]

I would like to know how we are the same Krissy?? Other than that we were all born genetically male...

We are human.
We both live on Earth.
We both breath oxygen.
We both have hearts.
We both have feelings.
We both have minds.
We both face fears.
We both face insecurities.
We both have dreams.
We both have hopes.
We both desire love.
We both desire to be loved.

Do I need to go on?

What you're really asking is this... (you're just too scared put it in writing):

Krissy, aren't you [just] a CD? Why are you comparing yourself to me, a full-fledged, perfect Transsexual?

*sigh* This is where such conversations always devolve.

This is my problem with the academic, Transsexual community. This is always your fallback position when challenged because you have not thought out the beliefs you espouse. The "just", although implied, also implies superiority, by default.

Because I have chosen to this point in my life, not to alter my body and continue to live as male, you make a leap in judgement that I cannot possibly be Transsexual.

On one hand, you think that spending money on surgeries, taking hormones, and living "as a woman" makes you one (THIS IS IMPORTANT - SO THINK ABOUT THIS: people cannot see what you think, so that is irrelevant to the discussion). Largely, genetically born women would wholly disagree with you... and in fact, call you a male... which you would take as a "slur".

On the other hand, you've no problem doing that exact same thing to someone who truly and actually FITS the definition of Transsexual on the inside but has no outward appearance of it. Instead you judge the outward appearance for the inward person.

Which one is more right? Neither. That is my point.

Academic Transsexuals need to stop "judging" who is Transsexual or not and instead focus on educating the public about why THEY ARE HUMANS... not freaks of nature... not sexual deviants... not deserving of pity... but smart, educated, HUMANS that have a place in today's society.

I will state this plainly - ANY Trans-Activism that does not start with the premise that we are all human and equally deserving of respect is doomed to fail because there is no argument that I've come across to make a valid point for Trans-equality otherwise.

This is purely a numbers game for me. Transsexuals lack the votes and numbers to accomplish anything. Period. That is just simple math. They must get some fucking humility and ask for help. This is the way the Transgender community (and all other communities) can help the Transsexual one and why the two must unify.

[MrsKellyPierce]

Honestly I had no idea you were/are a crossdresser..so again you are putting issues you had in your past on me...

Krissy I don't even know what your talking about I never said hormones, surgeries etc make you a woman or even a transsexual...

I said it has everything to do with what's going on between the ears..

You sweetheart must have had a lot of issues in your past with other trans-women that you are putting words in my mouth.

[GroobyKrissy]

No honestly I have no issue with them saying that, here is why.

I don't presume to know 100% what it's like to be a woman, just like I don't presume to know what it's like to be post-operative. At this moment in my life, because I'm non-op I will never know it. It's why when I speak to post-operative trans-women it fascinates me. I even sometimes yearn for that side of life, however I just don't feel the surgery is up to par for my liking.

I know I'm a transsexual woman and what I deal with. I know a 100% what being a transsexual is about. That's what I DO KNOW.

I am a woman in my mind, but I think I miss out on things a cis woman deals with. Just like many women I have spoken to who can't have babies they feel like they are missing on something about being a woman.

It's not a superiority thing..it's about knowing that trans-women/men identify as the opposite sex they were born and crossdressers, transvestites, drag queens are typically CIS people that do it part time. They live as men and are happy that way. They are typically treated like any other man as long as nobody knows.

A transsexual doesn't have that luxory, but what we do have is contempt and confusion from mainstream society thinking we do it for sexual purposes, fetish, laughs, and financial purposes. That's what we get..so you really don't understand why it would annoy us??

Kelly,

please, Please, PLEASE stop and think about what you just said.

You just stated that you don't care if women (and by default men, since they would have even more reasons than women to do such things) disparage, mock, and act in a bigoted manner towards Transsexuals because you are unable to relate to them 100%.

You have just given a blank check to all manner of bigotry. Congratulations.

[MrsKellyPierce]

Kelly,

please, Please, PLEASE stop and think about what you just said.

You just stated that you don't care if women (and by default men, since they would have even more reasons than women to do such things) disparage, mock, and act in a bigoted manner towards Transsexuals because you are unable to relate to them 100%.

You have just given a blank check to all manner of bigotry. Congratulations.

You know what I'm fine with that. Do you wanna know why?? You didn't say mock, disparage etc..

You said women who say they are NOT LIKE a transsexual..which is true..

Bullying someone on their personal choices and the way they live their life if it's not breaking the law or hurting anyone is wrong on all accounts.

I don't feel I'm bullying when I say we are different...

I don't presume I will ever change everyone's mind. It is something I dealt with long ago. If I worried about every person in society including other trans-wome that deemed me not a woman, a freak, an abomination I'd be a walking crazy person. Which I feel many trans-women are because they try so hard to fit in and need the validation from mainstream society. When I worry about people that actually want to learn about us and may have an open mind to treat us as the men and women we are! This is why I get annoyed with word transgender, because the media use it for every genetic born male in a dress. It confuses the masses that read the article. It's why I'm thrilled girls like Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, and Carmen Carrera are getting so much tv time in people's homes to understand the differences.

I am not sure what you are so worked up about.

All I know is AGAIN...A crossdresser, drag queen, transvestite are different than a transsexual. You can debate all you want, my opinion will not change. They are CIS people they do not suffer from GENDER dysphoria..The body does not make you what you are! What's in between the ears does..

[CORVETTEDUDE]

I prefer to refer to you gals as "special ladies", not "Trans, Tranny, TG, TS or etc."!!! I am open to using the term or terms that are most comfortable and respectful to you. I will defer to you to advise me as to what you like best.

[MrsKellyPierce]

Oops I hate my iPhone WHAT not when

[GroobyKrissy]

Honestly I had no idea you were/are a crossdresser..so again you are putting issues you had in your past on me...

Krissy I don't even know what your talking about I never said hormones, surgeries etc make you a woman or even a transsexual...

I said it has everything to do with what's going on between the ears..

You sweetheart must have had a lot of issues in your past with other trans-women that you are putting words in my mouth.

Look Sweetheart,

You're misreading or not understanding my post... (The "you" is "Transsexuals" not you, personally)

I said (the bold is important like I stated) those things are the only outward markings of being a woman that you have. Unless you're Jamie, you don't wear a T-shirt around that says "Tranny" on it... or maybe you do? Therefore, you have only outward markings that people perceive as "female" to let the world know that you are identifying as a "woman" as opposed to a "male". Thus the public perception of you is based upon those things... not what you think about yourself. Thus "thinking" or "knowing" you are Transsexual is completely irrelevant.

Anyway:

On one hand, you say it is "between your ears" if you are or are not Transsexual. (You have admittedly said that, yes?)

On the other hand you say (paraphrasing here) "I (and I am assuming you mean, "Transsexuals are..." am different from all CD/TV/DQ". (You have admittedly said that, yes?)

You have yet to say the two can co-exist in the same body.

Just say that if you believe it and suffer the wrath of the academic Transsexual crowd who vastly disagrees with you. This is, perhaps, the single-most important point that Transsexual and Transgender individuals must agree on and thus why I push back on it so much.

That will end the conversation right there and put you down, at least in my book, as reasonable.

[MrsKellyPierce]

Look Sweetheart,

You're misreading or not understanding my post... (The "you" is "Transsexuals" not you, personally)

I said (the bold is important like I stated) those things are the only outward markings of being a woman that you have. Unless you're Jamie, you don't wear a T-shirt around that says "Tranny" on it... or maybe you do? Therefore, you have only outward markings that people perceive as "female" to let the world know that you are identifying as a "woman" as opposed to a "male". Thus the public perception of you is based upon those things... not what you think about yourself. Thus "thinking" or "knowing" you are Transsexual is completely irrelevant.

Anyway:

On one hand, you say it is "between your ears" if you are or are not Transsexual. (You have admittedly said that, yes?)

On the other hand you say (paraphrasing here) "I (and I am assuming you mean, "Transsexuals are..." am different from all CD/TV/DQ". (You have admittedly said that, yes?)

You have yet to say the two can co-exist in the same body.

Just say that if you believe it and suffer the wrath of the academic Transsexual crowd who vastly disagrees with you. This is, perhaps, the single-most important point that Transsexual and Transgender individuals must agree on and thus why I push back on it so much.

That will end the conversation right there and put you down, at least in my book, as reasonable.

I had surgery Krissy for MYSELF...so I could look in the mirror and see the WOMAN I believe I am.

I am still having surgeries to gain the look I feel I should appear as.

FOR ME..so when I look in the mirror I'm not CRYING or DEPRESSED that all I see is a man or man features.

Something Crossdressers do not DEAL WITH..they want to look like woman for fantasy or fetish.

We want to appear as the women we ARE..so we are happy not only with ourselves but also get treated as the women we ARE..

So I am not quite clear what you are talking about.

At the end of the day a CROSSDRESSER, A DRAG QUEEN, A TRANSVESTITE...are NOT like US!! There is no SUPERIORITY saying that.

You are the one that comes off SUPERIOR...NOT I..

Do I feel a transsexual can be crossdresser?? No...I don't..

Do I feel a transsexual can be a drag queen? Yes, I do..because it's a job..female impersonation is a job..Do I feel more transsexuals would be pageant girls and/or strippers if they could make a living that way? YES, I feel that drag is an outlet for them.

Do I feel transsexuals are transvestites?? NO..I don't know any transsexual that gets off wearing panties/pantyhose

I think you have a chip on your shoulder..


I don't feel they can co-exsist in the same body..

I stated what I thought just because someone enjoys being a woman doesn't always mean they are a transsexual.

A transsexual is someone that identifies as the OPPOSITE SEX they were BORN..

Plain, simple, and easy..