Powerless Against a Jealous Bad-mouther

[UnfortunatelyAnon]

As you can tell by the screen name, I CERTAINLY don't want to be identified. The reason for this can be deduced by having already read the title of this thread.

The basic problem for me is that when I first realized I was attracted to T-girls, one of the first ones that I met also turned out to be rather unreasonable. As a result, I have had her bad mouthing lead to really interfering with my love and sex life.

Here is my story:

I realized I was attracted to T-girls about 5 or 6 years ago. This started with stumbling across porn of course. At the time, I was in my early 20's and wouldn't have began to know where to go to seek out such a girl. Naturally, I tried craigs list first in the Casual Encounters section. The initial response was almost overwhelming (as I have a good body), and had no experience with on line dating in any form. Naturally, I was a bit skittish about meeting, which definitely lead to missing out on meeting some incredibly attractive girls.

Then I received a response from a gorgeous girl. After a few emails, she could tell that I was skittish so she decided to take charge and address the issue. She did this with a form letter type email. As an intelligent guy with some common sense, it was obvious that I was not the first person she sent this to. Regardless, the email outlined some good points on why I should just take the plunge. Such persuasive points were enough to allow me to dismiss the fact that she had this argument saved to copy and paste to anyone who might be slow to meet.

So, we go on a date. Even though this originated as NSA, I'm not the type to email and try to have sex without getting to know someone. So, I am nervous, but hell, it's a big city so I was comfortable knowing that I wouldn't run into anyone I know. I would say I wasn't all that much more nervous about this meeting than if I was with any other girl. The date went well enough, but we didn't sleep together that night. She had to "meet a friend" after, or some other b.s. answer. Like I said, I'm an intelligent guy and knew right away after that story that she was a "working" girl. The only thing that bothered me about that was that she went out of her way (meaning she brought it up) to criticize working girls for at least 10 minutes prior to telling me this. Regardless, I don't judge. Even being new to this situation, I could understand why so many girls do. I'm no shrink, but I understand basic psychology. Oh, and I forgot to mention that she was constantly on her cell phone texting.

Fast forward and we have plans some time soon after for which she flakes because her "dinner with friends" ran late. I was annoyed more because she seemed to enjoy insulting my intelligence rather than just being truthful.

So we finally hang out at her place. I commuted into her area regularly so it was kind of a spur of the moment type of deal. She invited me over and we hooked up. It was good and fun. Oh, and of course she was on her phone incessantly texting during the pre sex small talk. It should be noted that we had not discussed that I was coming for a hookup, and she also initiated the sex.. a fact that should be irrelevant considering how this "relationship" started, but it is an extremely relevant fact for the conclusion later.

There would be a pretty great span of time before we would see each other again. Don't ask me how, but the situation took a turn that I DID NOT see coming. The topic of dating came up. Now remember, nowhere did I mention that I was looking for a dating situation. She responded to a post for NSA sex, convinced me to meet, and initiated the sex when we did meet in person. Regardless, I wouldn't have been opposed to the idea. It just turned out that I didn't want to date her.

She was hot, and could hold a conversation (between all the texting), but I just didn't feel us to be compatible. I won't lie and say that I would have been 100% comfortable dating, but I just needed time for that to change. If it was going to change, it wasn't with her. Comfort aside, I didn't want to date a working girl and even if I did, I didn't want to date someone who constantly flakes (I knew it would become common) and didn't like the texting thing.

I'm a bit hazy on how the friction started, but this is where it gets interesting. We hadn't spent much time together yet she still became VERY aggravated when I had admitted to being with another T-girl. She became possessive and accused me of being a TRANNY CHASER. (kind of hypocritical in my opinion to be surprised/insulted when a guy that you pursued for an NSA encounter winds up having another encounter down the road... I wasn't meeting girls regularly... actually it has always been VERY infrequent)

So here I am now with a span of more than a couple of years having met a VERY LIMITED amount of partners, and the MAIN PROBLEM comes up. I meet a new girl that I'm VERY into meeting. By this time I have grown much more secure in who I am and what I like. Unfortunately, when it came time to meet she flaked (and yes it turns out she was an escort too), but not for the escorting reason. As I would eventually find out, she flaked because another girl (you know who) had said some rather unflattering things about me. This came as a bit of a shock since there wasn't really too much drama between me and this badmouther, or at least anything that would justify her going out of her way to interfere with my dating/sex life.

She didn't just tell any old lie either. She told her that I post on CL ALL of the time (even though it was actually once every couple months or so) and that I was MEAN (?? really?? This is a complete fabrication) and that I had HIV. Okay, now there's a problem!! While this new girl eventually chose to disbelieve that, it took her realizing that the badmouther was full of shit. For one, if I had HIV, this badmouther wouldn't have hooked up with her again (at the time of the second hookup I wasn't aware of the badmouthing of course). I proved this by texting Badmouther while out to dinner with this girl to which Badmouther immediately replied with "whats up sexy." So it was clear these are all lies...

Ok so I said I had hooked up with Badmouther a second time. That time the SAME things that annoyed me the first time were still occurring. She was constantly on her phone. She also left IMMEDIATELY after we hooked up, even after I had requested that she stay and watch a movie. Through the conversation to this point it had become clear that she didn't respect anything about me. She doesn't communicate, listen, or consider what you are saying. She tells me what I'm thinking and refuses to hear me out.

Now, after having met this new girl (who btw used me for a one time hookup) I decided that all of this badmouthing was the result of Badmouther really knowing NOTHING about me. I contacted her and said that I would really like to be friends and that we should get together for dinner and NO sex. I figured if I could really lay it out for her, she would see that I'm not just some cock crazed asshole who uses women. We made plans. She FLAKED again. When I got pissed about it she just kept changing the subject and deflected off of the main issue. It is the most maddening thing I have ever experienced. I got pissed and started ignoring her texts.

Being in a good mood, I decided to reach out one more time. BAD IDEA. As per usual, she immediately starts with sex stuff... then somehow brings up my other dating habits, starts a fight, and NONE of her opinions/points/responses were responsive to anything I had just said.

So I call her out on knowing that she's been badmouthing me. She sarcastically says "oh please like I don't have anything better to do than bad mouth you".. I tell her of the proof and she just plays dumb. It was dumbfounding how she had NEVER admitted fault for anything..


CONCLUSION:

So here I am with a girl that even though she is an escort (which means that she has more sex with more partners than me) who flips and starts fights at the mere mention of me having sex with someone else (even if it was 2 years later haha!!) Then she basically decides that if she can't have me that she will do anything in her power to make sure nobody else will. I have NO DOUBT at all that she has posted on forums about me, but obviously they are in the types in which I cannot see the lies. She no doubt, tells girls that I post on CL ALL the time, which is hilarious for multiple reasons...

She finds me while looking for NSA yet I'm the sex freak and she's not. She also admitted that she routinely posts so that she can find and identify the chasers. This is FAR from the whole "better thing to do with my time" kind of attitude. She manipulates facts and most times just completely fabricates them and there's NOTHING I can do to combat it!!

Label me what you will, but I don't understand the "blacklisting" approach here. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I have posted a bit more as of the recent couple months because I have had more free time than ever before. Just because I may post once every other week (sometimes once a week) it doesn't mean I'm meeting with people. In fact, I would say I have met a handful (very limited/select amount) of girls over 5 years, which I would think is actually a good thing no? I mean, seriously, craigs doesn't have a LOT of great quality to offer, but that doesn't mean I should COMPLETELY rule it out either... you never know when you might meet someone compatible. I take crags with a grain of salt, yet I'm portrayed as some kind of asshole.

While I understand why there is a "girls only" forum here, I think that the guys should at least be able to see info about them, even if they are blocked from replying. I'm a good person with no ill intentions, yet I have a complete whack job going out of her way to make me look bad. It should also be noted that accusing someone of having an STD is slander per se, meaning damages are automatically granted for a FALSE claim. This doesn't however stop girls from sharing REAL information on men.

Thoughts anyone?

And this girl is such a busy body I'm sure she will read this..

As I have gone out of my way here to leave out her name, any references that could identify her (as I know this can be a rather small community), as well as even leaving out the name of the city, I can only hope that she has not given any pertinent information as to my identity. With the current claims alone, who would want that!

[loveboof]

And this girl is such a busy body I'm sure she will read this..

And that is the whole point of your post right?

You won't be half as anonymous to her if she reads this. I'm also guessing that you know her to frequent these forums, and that you yourself have at least one more account here (you know about the girls only section).

Anyway, I read the story. If you're telling the whole truth then it sounds like she was being unreasonable. There's always two sides to every story though

[tsadriana]

Is that me??????

[UnfortunatelyAnon]

And that is the whole point of your post right?

You won't be half as anonymous to her if she reads this. I'm also guessing that you know her to frequent these forums, and that you yourself have at least one more account here (you know about the girls only section).

Anyway, I read the story. If you're telling the whole truth then it sounds like she was being unreasonable. There's always two sides to every story though

I'm not worried about being anonymous to her. And if she is on here bad mouthing me, then I'm assuming/hoping it was by my email and MAYBE some pictures but not my number or address... Obviously if she reads this she will know it is me, but as unreasonable as she has been, I don't think she would go any further than she already has... I did NOTHING to identify her so I would assume that this wouldn't inspire her to become worse.

I also don't know if she frequents this forum, or any other for that matter, but I assume she might. I also don't have a "girl" account. Right when I entered this site I saw the girls only section and would assume that since she bad mouthed me IN PERSON, there's no reason to believe she wouldn't do it here. It's also obvious that she would do it in a section that I am not privy to.

And as far as the two sides to every story... ha, there are even more details... trust me, I was very kind to her in my story ha. I would also imagine her story would involve flat out lies and probably wouldn't address the issues I brought up since she never did it when talking to me

[tsadriana]

Why u dont sort ur problem with her in pvt?Why it will be necesary to wash ur laundry online?

[loveboof]

I also don't have a "girl" account. Right when I entered this site I saw the girls only section and would assume that since she bad mouthed me IN PERSON, there's no reason to believe she wouldn't do it here. It's also obvious that she would do it in a section that I am not privy to.

I wasn't saying that you had a 'girl' account, just that you knew about the section.

This is clearly an alternate account for you because there is no other reason for you to be called UnfortunatelyAnon. You could have told your story under your brand new username (perfectly anonymous to everyone here).

Please don't lie to us whilst you're trying to present yourself as such a reasonable person in this little story...

[UnfortunatelyAnon]

I wasn't saying that you had a 'girl' account, just that you knew about the section.

This is clearly an alternate account for you because there is no other reason for you to be called UnfortunatelyAnon. You could have told your story under your brand new username (perfectly anonymous to everyone here).

Please don't lie to us whilst you're trying to present yourself as such a reasonable person in this little story...

Oh, ok I misread/misunderstood your point on that aspect. I thought you were implying that I had created a name under the guise of being a girl. But how is this "clearly" an alternate account? I wrote of using craigslist, but never said to what extent, if any, whether I had used this site before. And what would be my motivation behind lying here? I haven't identified her by name or even city so what would be the point? I mean, are you implying that I just wanted to tell an extremely long bullshit story? What would I get out of it?

[UnfortunatelyAnon]

Why u dont sort ur problem with her in pvt?Why it will be necesary to wash ur laundry online?

no it wasn't you, so please don't worry. Ha, I don't want some poor guy getting an upset phone call or email from you.

[UnfortunatelyAnon]

Why u dont sort ur problem with her in pvt?Why it will be necesary to wash ur laundry online?

Ummm isn't that what these forums are for? And I guess I didn't describe her unreasonableness in enough of a detailed fashion, but I mean you had to read where I said that I had tried to sort things with her in person. It didn't work. When I tried to get her in person we made plans, I traveled to her and she flaked. I waited a few months after ignoring her texts (which were sent strictly for sex purposes and getting pictures since she spends prolonged periods on the other end of the country from me) I tried again. It didn't get past the phone call because a fight started. Remember, I said she didn't ever address any issue I brought up and waited for me to finish speaking so she could just go off on her tangents.. In person.. on the phone... don't work.. exactly why I came here.

And at the end, I asked for thoughts... so I aired this dirty laundry because I was interested in the reactions. I'm sure there are PLENTY of girls on here with great reasons for blacklisting some jerk, but she isn't one.

[tsadriana]

I had issues in my pvt life but maybe is just me i like to keep them on pvt.