And then shit went south...

OK a little about me.
I've dated two lovely TS girls in my life....one for about 6 months while at university and the other for about 3 months after my divorce which was god...5 years ago.
And sadly i was not ready to date after my divorce so the 3 month relationship though amazing with an absolutely gorgeous woman who was beautiful inside and out...went to shit because of me.

So lots of therapy and lots of drugs and finally i'm starting to feel normal...well what ever the fuck normal is...FYI anti depressants even a light ones really fucks with your dick so if your doctor puts you on them buy a case of viagra!...But i digress.

So, I'm back to dating and so i'm hitting tinder...what a waste...ok cupid...omg fucking kill me now....and then i see this girl okcupid....she's cute...i know her..she's a friend of a friend on facebook....so i message her and she seems nice but very acidic. Huh...odd...the last two TS girls i dated were very sweet to guys who weren't chasers.

I'm talking to her asking her out to dinner or coffee...in the light of day...not want to fuck or some repulsive shit like that....i'm being a decent human being and i just want to know her better because i really liked her profile. But shit you would have thought i was trying to get a lunch date with Madona....!

Eventually she says yes and she tells me to pick her up and what not. Look i'm not a rich guy. I work hard i have a good education and i think i make good money and i drive a nice car and i dress very well. So i figured...ok when i show up in my nice BMW and in my nice shirt and shoes and a smile and she sees that i am honest about just wanting to know her she may lighten up......or so i hoped!

So i drive to her place which is in a little rougher part of NYC but still very safe and very nice and she looks amazing really very cute girl rocking what i love girls to wear on a first date. A fitted white shirt and nice fitted blue jeans....and WTF is this...flip flops? ok i'm 5'8" she's like 5'7"...i'm fine with you rocking a nice pair of heals...WTF are you wearing flip flops for? Sigh...ok well what's that strike two?

next we have dinner and she's swings from being a girl i really want to know better to a girl where i'm like...HUH? I'm a relatively smart guy and i can understand people but this one is throwing me for a loop. amazing history of her family and her studies and her work and our mutual views of online dating being the south side of a very bad tailor park and then a quick flip and...very distant and acidic. Strike three?

And then it hit me....she was a performer. Be it i had seen a few videos of her and knew she was very attractive and a good dancer but...i just never put two and two together. Attitude and performing?

Ladies...take it from a non chaser. Yes i'm here but i like TS women as much as I love GG's...so i'm going to be honest with you. We non chaser guys do not understand this lip singing costume changing thing....and i'm pretty sure 99/100 of us do not like spending time with drama queens.

Yes, ok for the nights you perform you are in those few hours a rock star...ok great! And we non chasers like that you are like that and that you enjoy it and it's honestly an amazing hobby because it makes you happy and we like that. But come on....cut it out with the attitude.


Ladies who preform understand
1) We non chasers just don't get it...i mean i really don't get it....yeah you are dancing and it's nice but well i don't get it....and why are you lip singing? I don't get it.....is it a hobby? is it an act? i'm lost...

2) Turn off the attitude when you are not preforming and sitting across a table from us. I make a solid 6 figures via a real job. I hit the gym 3 times per week. I cook. I have my own place with a nice view and i'm STABLE with no neck tattoos....you want to attract a clean cut open minded kinky guy like me who wants to go out with you during the day light hours, introduce you to all his friends as his GF and one day introduce you to his mother? Turn off the attitude.

Will there be a date two? Honestly she is gorgeous! Amazing smile, amazing eyes, comes from a loving family, is educated and has a real job....and she smells great....and even the flip flops showed off her cute toes.

But...that attitude....it was too much for me...so much so that i didn't even kiss her good night. I was just thinking...if i kiss her will she give me attitude?

Where'd you go for dinner?

SXFX, it's lip-synching, bro. Not lip singing.

You are right about most TS/TV who are into the drag queen thing have major attitude. Some of them truly believe they are stars.

Erica Andrews was one stage performer who was very cool outside the club. She rocked my world a few times many years ago.

We went to some little Italian restaurant in hells kitchen. Really nice but not over the top. I live in NJ so for me it was an easy shot to shoot over pick her up drive down park and grab dinner and a drink.

Don't get me wrong i'm 100% sure she is the most amazing woman ever! Just her history of her family and education were amazing. So hard to find a girl who is educated and has a job and has a positive relationship with her family.

But sadly the acidity of the attitude....well.....i'm sorry.....i hate to be a dick but....i don't need that in my life nor do i have time for it.

Wish i could go back and correct the mistake i made 5 years ago with the gorgeous red headed TS doll who rocked my world for the better. Oh well...such is life.

Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.

Plenty of awesome cool girls out there ... without attitude.

Not exactly a stellar first date.

If one is invited out to dinner, wearing flips I think is a definite no no. And the mercurial nice/acidic/nice/acidic could be portent of things to come.

Nice decent guys have a bad habit of ignoring red flags, and my perception of your experience says those flags were waving in your face.

She probably is an amazing girl, on her good days. Are you willing to put up with her on all her bad days too?

IMO the O.P. is still mentally disturbed on multiple levels...like there is so much dysfunction here it would take many more years to work it all thru, if it ever can be at all.

Perhaps wearing flip-flops was her way of suggesting you buy her a pair of Louboutin?

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Originally Posted by nysprod

IMO the O.P. is still mentally disturbed on multiple levels...like there is so much dysfunction here it would take many more years to work it all thru, if it ever can be at all.

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Mentally disturbed on multiple levels? You ever go through a divorce? I married at 20 and was divorced by 23 finally after 2 years of literal hell with a wife that went from my highschool sweetheart to a batshit insane BPD sociopath almost immediately after we got married. 5 years recovery from that? Hell, I didn't attempt to date until I was in my late 30's it was such a mindfuck. I didn't remarry until 21 years after my divorce. Cut the OP some slack here. I really feel for SXFX. I've been there. I know that torturous hell first hand. Getting back into the game is fucking hard and the older they get, the more baggage you have to deal with along with your own.

Uhh, you might want to cut the references to yourself as a non-chaser. Saying it as many times as you do in print, and probably as many times as you say it to yourself, gives off the opposite vibe.

I dont like the song lipping thing either
So I just dont waste my time watching.

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Originally Posted by sunairco

Mentally disturbed on multiple levels? You ever go through a divorce? I married at 20 and was divorced by 23 finally after 2 years of literal hell with a wife that went from my highschool sweetheart to a batshit insane BPD sociopath almost immediately after we got married. 5 years recovery from that? Hell, I didn't attempt to date until I was in my late 30's it was such a mindfuck. I didn't remarry until 21 years after my divorce. Cut the OP some slack here. I really feel for SXFX. I've been there. I know that torturous hell first hand. Getting back into the game is fucking hard and the older they get, the more baggage you have to deal with along with your own.

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Well, that's my point...this guy is dealing with way to many issues to even think about getting involved with anyone else.

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Originally Posted by Odelay

Uhh, you might want to cut the references to yourself as a non-chaser. Saying it as many times as you do in print, and probably as many times as you say it to yourself, gives off the opposite vibe.

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I'm glad to see someone else is picking up an example of what is so very wrong with the emotional well being of the o.p...still, the surface has only been scratched.

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Originally Posted by Stavros

Perhaps wearing flip-flops was her way of suggesting you buy her a pair of Louboutin?

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Lmao!

I'm with nysprod. You probably fucked it all up from the start. You also buried the lead. She's a friend of a friend. Maybe this friend bad mouthed you. Chances are near 100% if this mutual friend is another TS. If you're not a chaser, you never have to mention it even once, let alone 5 times. Yes, I counted. You seem like a classic example of the nice guy fallacy. You think you are but really you're not.

That you actually believe she'll go out on a second date with you, IF YOU WANT, makes me think that you're just trolling everyone ...

i wear flip flops or sandals all the time … can't even remember the last time I wore a pair of heels outside of a client meet or shoot/cam show lol

To me just sounds like typical dating malarky …some people you get on with some you don't .. move along to the next person ...

So weird he would even mention flip flops considering how "gorgeous" she was and how they showed off her "cute toes"...seemed to take it as some kind of personal insult, wtf is up with that?

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Originally Posted by LibertyHarkness

i wear flip flops or sandals all the time … can't even remember the last time I wore a pair of heels outside of a client meet or shoot/cam show lol

To me just sounds like typical dating malarky …some people you get on with some you don't .. move along to the next person ...

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Yes, odds are it was just bad chemistry. who knows. But flip flops on a first date? That's like a guy showing up in his baggiest pair of stained jeans and a dirty shirt.

Call me a little old fashioned it's a first date, it's your first time to see someone treat it like an interview. Wouldn't you want someones first impression of you to be a good one. Even if it doesn't work out, you want to be remembered as a decent well dressed person.

Odds are it could just have been bad chemistry, but our mutual friend was not surprised. Apparently this is his friends MO. She likes to complain regardless of how good her luck is.

Shame thought she was cute and really liked her back story. Not many well educated women out there.

But such is life, plenty of fish in the sea =)

And i'm not a nice guy, a nice guy would have called her back. I didn't think she was worth my time.

You remind me of a friend of mine who went on a few dates with this really hot chick once, only to tell her that he wasn't interested. The reason? She didn't like soup...

Ever have the voice in the back of your head that says....listen to your gut?
So her friend and i were talking and she says "give her a second chance, she may have just had a bad night before at a show."
OK i tell myself what could go wrong! and it's going to be a gorgeous sunday so why not ask her to see if she wants to join me for brunch. she says yes....and even seems normal over the phone and send a pic of herself smiling....
I'm thinking....had to be a bad night...let's see how she is in the daylight.

drive into nyc from nj again pick her up on the 100th area and drive down to Chelsea for brunch reservations.
flip flops? check!
failure to smile when i show up? check!
walking around as if she is on a gay pride float as we walk to our table? check!

maybe i need to rephrase what i said in the first post.
Ladies turn it off. Yeah you have a job and you have a nice hobby but when not on stage....is there even a stage at these events where the fake singing takes place?...turn it off.

Look i love riding my motorcycle. but do you see me waving to ever biker and stopping to look at ever motorcycle and making room room sounds while i'm on a date? NO!

And yes i get it..in a small circle you are very well known and you may even have groopies who chase you from show to show.....your average guy doesn't and can care less....

But my favorite line and sadly i can't make this shit up......she tells me "Do you know how hard it is to find a guy in a gay club where i preform? I have to carry my own shit in and no one is there to help me."

I'm not a rocket scientists...but a TS girl looking for a guy to date at a gay club is....a little bit like trying to find a palm tree in the north pole. I verified this by asking my gay friends.

Ladies....hint hint normal guys....hard to find. Normal guy who takes you out to brunch at 11am....harder.

Just put on some nice shoes and a smile and please turn off the attitude. the world has enough drama queens don't become another one.

Oh well better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.

I hope everyone here has had better dates in the past few weeks and are looking forward to a nice winter with their new partners =)

But that is what you are going to get when you date one of those performers. A thirst for attention and a flair for the overly dramatic.
Sometimes it's cute...sometimes it's not.
Sometimes what attracts us to a person can lead to embarrassing social situations.
I know this because I'm attracted to hot but crazy...lol.

...but I no longer have the patience to deal with hyper active drama, so more often than not, I now prefer to eat alone.

It doesn't sound like she did anything over the top though...shit like texting non stop...or being aggressively rude to the wait staff...or dressing way too inappropriate (flip flops are better than wearing hot pants and a bra)...just a few things I've experienced in the past...lol.

did you at least get a kiss out of it?

This girl is so much better off without SXFX as would all other women be.

I only date supermodel tg girls!
I love my bmw!
And i love my motorcyle!
And i'm not a chaser! But you are!! And i use the keyword function on okcupid to find tg girls!!!
But i don't like flip flops even if they have really cute feet :(

Maybe...but she did go on a second date with him...so there must be some attraction.

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Originally Posted by nysprod

This girl is so much better off without SXFX as would all other women be.

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...and after reading most of all our material over the years - that conclusion can be reached about most of us...lol.

SXFX,

The "flops" were probably that she does not want to bring attention to her height.
My girlfriend is that way. (Hence, my opinion)
She towers over most GG's being 5'9" T/G. Throw in some sexy 4-3/4" heels, and she is quite tall. (super sexy to me, and most anybody who sees her. )

Best of luck to you, and try not to listen to the web psychologists about your deep emotional issues. I too am going through a divorce, and it can wreak havoc on your emotional state.

When you are ready, you will find that special person; GG, T/G, whatever.

Disnug.

The question I have is:

What'd you have for dinner?

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Originally Posted by up_for_it

What'd you have for dinner?

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Hope there was a lot of it...He didn't get any dessert! :whistle:

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Originally Posted by fred41

But that is what you are going to get when you date one of those performers. A thirst for attention and a flair for the overly dramatic.
Sometimes it's cute...sometimes it's not.
Sometimes what attracts us to a person can lead to embarrassing social situations.
I know this because I'm attracted to hot but crazy...lol.

...but I no longer have the patience to deal with hyper active drama, so more often than not, I now prefer to eat alone.

It doesn't sound like she did anything over the top though...shit like texting non stop...or being aggressively rude to the wait staff...or dressing way too inappropriate (flip flops are better than wearing hot pants and a bra)...just a few things I've experienced in the past...lol.

did you at least get a kiss out of it?

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She was all of 5'5" very cute. And yes there was non stop texting...and a little rude with the wait staff...

Long story short i needed to vent a little....and i guess at 38..I'm too fucking old for drama queens. But hey there is always tomorrow!

Best of luck to everyone on their dates!