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Hello everyone. I have concern with my safety. Have any of you been dealing with people who constantly send you threatening messages thru email? How do you guys deal with it?
I went to LGBT place in NYC and they gave me a list of organizations I can contact. I'd like some more advice from anyone in here who have been through the similar situation. Thank you in advance.
xxxx
Asian Gee
Generally, forums aren't the best place for that sort of advise. Terroristic threats are illegal and should taken seriously by the appropriate authorities.
It's a good idea to save the threatening emails...they'll provide evidence if you want to start a complaint.
Good luck AsianG,..I'm sorry a weirdo attached himself to you...nobody needs that kind of crap.
call up guido & tell him somebody wants to be shorter
sorry for your troubles - this article seemed to provide some sound advice. I'd look into buying a dog if you don't already own one - I'd suggest an American Staffordshire Terrier and perhaps a firearm or two.
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com...gsolutions.htm
Hope your situation improves
Step #1: Acquire all evidence you can. Emails, social media messages, text messages, audio recordings or if the individual is harassing you in person, video recordings. This should be provided in a police report. If you feel the individual is a threat to your physical safety, you may acquire a restraining order.
Step #2: Start taking self-defense classes. These exist everywhere. There are many classes that cater to women's defense and there are many for self defense or martial arts in general.
Step #3: Carrying defensive items is the most useful thing above all. A restraining order is merely a piece of paper that does nothing to actually stop someone from attacking you. In most American jurisdictions, pepper spray devices are legal for personal protection. In some jurisdictions, tasers and stun guns are also legal for self defense, however their usefulness is limited, like knives are, to direct physical contact, and are more of a last resort if an attacker is on top of you.
Step #4: Firearms. If you feel the individual is that much of threat to your life, understand that calling the police leaves you waiting for help to arrive on an average of 10-15 minutes in most areas of the United States, in urban places, far longer. The average 9mm pistol responds at a rate of 1,200 feet per second and is definitively the #1 best way to deter an assault. The mere presence of a firearm holstered to your hip, or in your hand, will cause an attacker to flee without a shot needing to be fired. However, as a gun owner myself, you need to know what you're doing and should take some local NRA sponsored women's self defense firearms courses that are hosted nationwide if you have no experience. As well, look into your state laws regarding your right to bear arms to ensure you don't get in trouble. Some states do not require a license or permit, many others do though.
Coming from a country where it is not legal to obtain firearms, pepper spray or tasers, and given that a lot of people may not be willing to go to the police with this kind of situation, I offer the following advice.
1.Be smarter than the person threatening you.
2.Don't give away any personal details on the internet.
I have had people try and threaten me via email etc before. Do everything to find out about the person and gather as much personal info on them as you can. Fortunately most people like this are very stupid and not Internet savvy. Search email, trace IP address etc, you will often find that they may be married, have kids etc, in which case a simple email saying "don't fuck with me or I'll tell <insert name here>" will usually get them to back off.
If you've been compromised and they know who you are or where you live, then it's definately time to go to police.
I'd love to see one of the emails. Would be glad to assist. I do that for a living (not stalking) but finding people on the internet.
I'd guess every stalker situation is different, but I agree with kittyKaiti with respect to being armed, knowing how to use the weapon, as well as mentally prepared to use the weapon when your life is threatened. Try to be aware of your surroundings, try to have an escape route, try to be in a group, lock windows and doors, and obtain a surveillance and alarm system operating around your abode.
I had a relative who worked for the Federal government who was constantly harassed by a fellow employee. Her supervisor got an FBI agent assigned to keep tabs on her harasser and built a file on him, then one day they showed up at her job and marched this moron out in handcuffs.lol
I'd keep a hard copy record of all the threatening emails etc. and talk to the Human resources person where you work for advice.
In most workplace environments harassment of any kind from another employee is not tolerated and is grounds for immediate dismissal.
If this crap is going on outside the office, I'd arm myself with at least mace and inform the police about your situation.
If you get a gun. Practice, practice, practice.... A lot. All the time. A gun does no good if it is not a part of you. It needs to be a extension of your very being. If you get a gun and shoot twice a year you are almost guaranteed to 'freeze' when the time comes.
A friend of mine is a competitive shooter. They simulate real world situations where they go threw a target area and have to shoot 'bad' guys and save the good guys. He said he shot every week for about three years.
Self defense classes are crap, unless you practice, practice, practice. A lot, for a long time. If your going to learn to fight, take a martial art, and make sure you actually fight. Put on the gear and FIGHT!
If the fucker ever breaks into your house... shoot the fucker. Too kill. Do not hesitate. For some stalkers it's just a game to fuck with you. Others are truly fucked up and the end game is to kill you. Always assume the fucker wants to kill you.
I hate to say this but the best defense is a good offense. So if you can find out who the fucker is... get a couple of 'bears' to fuck him up some... and let him know that you know who he is. Many stalkers are actually cowards, that's why the fuck with people behind their backs.
I hate fucking stalkers.
I'm not here to tell you what to do. That is, with the exception of telling you to think deeply about what is best to you. I think gun ownership is over sold as a solution to protection vs the risks self harm, accidents, and misused by others of your own weapon. I am not trans, but I know that most do feel depressive feelings at one time or the other, due to the negative perceptions of others, discrimination, as well as other reasons. Statistics show that more people commit suicide with the weapons they own, than are called on to defend themselves with it. I don't need to know, but ask yourself, have you ever had feelings that things are hopeless, even for a minute? How have you handled relationship break-ups in the past? All it takes is 1-2 minutes for gun owners to be able to follow through, with a suicide impulse. Do you have children who come to your home?
I have had some mental health education. Putting myself in place of a stalker, it would seem to me that one would prefer close contact, if they want to attempt harm. If so, pepper spray, or a knife could be very effective. Consider this, a person sending threats, may not attempt to follow through. Their kick is feeling powerful, by making someone else feel fear. I am not saying not to do anything. I'm only saying consider your options deeply. Professional law enforcement could give you greater insight. I wish you the best, and support whatever decision you make. Good luck!
Statistics: US 2009 suicides 36,909, murders 13,606. Of the homicides 71% were with guns.
If you're not suicidal, firearms are best. There's some crazy fuckers out there.
You might want to read through these two AMAs (Ask Me Anything) done on Reddit from a woman who had a cyberstalker, how she dealt with, and eventually caught her.
AMA #1 I got my anonymous cyberstalker of 1.5 years arrested for harassing me and threatening to shoot up the college where I teach. AMA!
AMA #2 UPDATE: I got my anonymous cyberstalker of 1.5 years arrested for harassing me and threatening to shoot up the college where I teach. AMA!
And 80% of the gun homicides were gangbangers killing gangbangers in the ghetto.Quote:
Originally Posted by yodajazz
>Momentary instances of depression vs. suicidal behavior.
I have been depressed over events that took place in my life. I have cried. All the time with a gun on my hip. I never once thought of using it. Being sad over something is not the same as a person with a serious psychotic issue.
False. Approximately 19,000 people kill themselves with firearms. Firearms are also attributed to being used to some degree in acts of self defense an estimated 2 million times annually. Self defense with a gun can range from brandishing it to scare off an attacker all the way up to shooting and killing an attacker.Quote:
Originally Posted by yodajazz
Statistics also show that the presence of a firearm during the right time and right place (private ownership and or concealed carry) saves 350,000 lives annually (where victims feared imminent harm would come had the attacker not been stopped).
Statistics also show that the presence of a firearm during the right time and right place (private ownership and or concealed carry) saves 350,000 lives annually (where victims feared imminent harm would come had the attacker not been stopped).
There's no CDC or FBI stat for this, Kitti.
Where'd you get this from, the NRA???
Folks, G lives in NYC, she won't be getting a carry permit for something concealable any time soon...
why did so many ppl downvote that? I'm joking but serious too. Escorting w/o people who can watch out for you is fucking bad. If G doesn't have anyone, she needs a dog. And if she can't have a dog in NYC apt, she needs to tell her neighbors/landlord that someone has been harassing/stalking/threatening her and ask them to keep their eyes open for anyone suspicious. You always gotta have people watching out for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle Firestone
If the stalker is escorting related, that's different.
Is this person showing up where she lives unannounced??
A lot of women I know have either mace or a small taser in hand when they're out alone at night. Don't know the legality of a taser in NYC.
I'm really out of my depth on how escorts deal with problem clients.
I like the idea of a dog too. A dog that's protective can be an asset but one that's aggressive can be a liability. Research what breed is best for you and take an active part in the training. I had Akitas and used to work until 3AM. I knew when I came from work there would never be a problem. My girlfriend didn't even bother to lock the door. They were great dogs who also didn't bark excessively aggravating the other apartment people.
I had a girlfriend before her who went to USC which isn't located in the best part of town. I suggested she get a .38 Special. What I learned is that a gun is useless in the hands of someone not willing to defend themselves with it. The phone was the best solution for her. If a gun is your best option then choose that but remember your life changes forever too after you pull the trigger.
Who is crazy enough to challenge that?
LOL. Akitas look like bear cubs with pointy ears. I'm still crossing the street if I see you walking your dog, Dino. No offense. ;)
I still have vivid memories as a kid being chased by a neighbor's doberman, not to attack me but because he likes seeing my scared ass run!!
He was a very nice dog. His only sin was being 125lbs and having a Pokerface. I'd demonstrate to my timid neighbors how tame he was by sticking my hand in his mouth and grabbing him by his lower jaw with zero concern. I trained the beast so I trust the animal. He never bit anyone because he never had to. He loved little kitties and never put even a bruise on a toddler or elderly person.Quote:
Originally Posted by giovanni_hotel
The dog in the picture was not mine but pretty darn close as I had a big Black Brindle also.
Thank you everyone for the responds, I didn't know that this thread turned into Gun Control topic LOL. Base from the threat I got it seem like someone who knows me, I live in NYC with strict gun control and I don't think I want to own one, I will reach out to LGBT organization this week and bring all the stuff I need I'm sure they will be able to help me out. I can't let this cyber bully and harassment continue. For now I will ignore those threat but at least I let everyone close to me knows so they are aware of it. I will keep it positive and hope it turn out ok for me, there are so many things going on in my life that make me happy, this bully cannot bring me down, life is too precious to be wasted. I will not let this coward to control my life.
A Man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.
Stalking is illegal in the USA, so the law is on your side. You don't need a gun, a howitzer or a hungry lion, but you do need legal advice which you can get in New York through places like this:Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianG
http://nylag.org/units/lgbt-law-project
The law:
https://www.safehorizon.org/index/ge...ng-laws-5.html
Clobberhead saves his owner's life smelling gas fumes. Good boy and trusted family member.
Get a dog. Gain a friend. Save an innocent life. He might save yours too.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow...0054.html?vp=1
http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/xD...LargeImage.jpg
I can't have dog, only cats which i love.
There's no better alarm system late at night than a dog which can be the perfect head's up to prevent a surprise violent confrontation.
AsianG, I miss your old Flickr stream. Glad to see you are well.
http://scholarlycommons.law.northwes...3&context=jclcQuote:
Originally Posted by giovanni_hotel
How about a pet Bob Cat?Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianG
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtPFOP0TM24
If the stalker is allergic to bullets then maybe that then. He could probably use a shower anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianG
http://www.operatorchan.org/meet/src/138393390228.gif
Thanks for the link, I'll read it more in depth, later. But I think those victims, include, those who would have been bored to death by Jehovah Witnesses at their door, if they had not brandished a weapon.Quote:
Originally Posted by kittyKaiti
In the 20 years since Kleck and Gertz published that paper, its results and methodology have been entirely dismantled, notably by Harvard's David Hemenway. It is no longer considered serious scholarship by anyone outside of the gun lobby.Quote:
Originally Posted by kittyKaiti
In 2000, Hemenway published a paper that attempted to replicate Kleck's findings using more rigorous methodology and found that most respondents who reported using a firearm in self-defense were actually using it to intimidate others: http://injuryprevention.bmj.com/cont...4/263.abstract
This review by Stroebe, piblished a few months ago, compiles some of the most recent findings on the relationship between firearm ownership and risk of death: http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2013.07.025
The bottom line is that Kaiti's choice puts her at higher risk of being killed or injured by a firearm than AsianG. It's simply an empirical fact. Best wishes for the health and safety of you both.
I have to pay money to read one of the links and the other link is dead. Nice try.Quote:
Originally Posted by thombergeron
As for Hemenway... anyone who would make such a quote like below is obviously heavily biased and therefore his "research" is questionable.
David Hemenway: "Instead of it being the mark of a real man that you can shoot somebody at 50 feet and kill them with a gun, the mark of a real man is that you would never do anything like that. . . . The gun is a great equalizer because it makes wimps as dangerous as people who really have skill and bravery and so I’d like to have this notion that anyone using a gun is a wuss. They aren't anybody to be looked up to. They’re somebody to look down at because they couldn't defend themselves or couldn't protect others without using a gun."
Just a few keystrokes and you don't have to pay.
The Hemenway study is here -> http://www.crema-research.ch/abstracts/2014-07.htm
and the Stroebe study is here -> http://www.crema-research.ch/papers/2014-07.pdf
Now, can you get me a free gun, free ammo and some free shooting lessons?
Sorry about the links, but I'm at a university and I sometimes forget that I have easier access to scholarly work than most. Thanks to Trish for digging out better access.Quote:
Originally Posted by kittyKaiti
With all due respect, Kaiti, everyone is biased. I'm biased, you're biased, Gary Kleck is definitely biased, and yes, David Hemenway also brings a bias to his work.
The trick is to disclose our conflicts and biases so that readers can evaluate our work within the proper context.
David Hemenway is a professor of public health specializing in injury prevention. His bias is toward reducing the public health burden of gun violence. So his bias has led him to focus his research on illuminating the full extent of that burden.
The gun lobby, which certainly referred you to Kleck's paper, has a bias toward selling more firearms. I hope you had a chance to witness NRA president Wayne LaPierre's address to CPAC a couple of weeks ago. He started with dire warnings of the terrorists, rapists, and murderers standing right outside your door, despite the fact that violent crime in the U.S. has declined significantly over the past 20 years. But if you're frightened, you could always just buy another firearm from LaPierre's clients.
It's disheartening that you would dismiss robust scientific results simply because you disagree with them, while at the same time touting the results of a 20-year-old study that has since been empirically disproven. And not only disproven by Hemenway, but also by Phillip Cook, David Webster, Jens Ludwig, and others. It is also notable that Gary Kleck has never responded substantively to any of these critiques, choosing instead, like you, simply to accuse his fellow investigators of "bias."
But bias or no, facts are facts, and it is simply a fact that you have put yourself at risk by bringing a firearm into your home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianG
Sorry to hear this happening to you AsianG. :( I got threats once- going to file a fake police report on me, going to call my job, watching where I live. All bogus. I started feeling paranoid but it was my imagination. I ignored it and it went away. 2 months ago the person who did it it calls me and fesses up (ex gf). I had blocked her phone for months because she was constantly calling me even though I wasn't calling her back. But then I finally unblocked her # to see if she'd still call me-- nothing for weeks. Then she called me! When I saw the caller-id it was scary, but I'm glad I answered the call. That solved pretty much everything. It taught me that communication is more important than silence and that I shouldn't have shut her out like slamming a door. It made me really realize the difference that talking with one another was better than guessing about one another. We're friends now, and maybe we'll be more than that someday. What kind of threats are you getting? Does the person making the threats know where you live? Did they show up at your place? Maybe it's a jealous girl and her friends-- jealous of your beauty. Please stay safe. The world needs more sweet people like you in it.Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianG
97% this is utter bullshit...and if it isn't, either the judgement exercised in hoping an ex gf stalker becomes a gf again is seriously deficient, or you're hopelessly desperate.Quote:
Originally Posted by pstratton531
Pstratton, can I suggest your next screen name? Cellophane......yes you are that transparent. Pathetic........well yeah, you are. Getalife........ etc. Honestly the world needs less people like you in it! Grow up and stop this childish crap already.Quote:
Originally Posted by pstratton531
Quote:
Originally Posted by giovanni_hotel
Great advice. Gee, if you have any friends or relatives or people you trust in law enforcement, seek their advice. They might know someone or know someone who knows someone who can help you directly. I am sorry to hear you are going through this and I hope it ends.