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I'm not capable of doing adult work -- or much of anything -- anymore. I've been taking down my online presence and just wanted to leave a final note to the effect of "don't expect to see or hear from me further." I've just hit the logical conclusion of my life's trajectory and am consequently done with everything. I'm glad some of you enjoyed my content and/or me, and I'm sorry I can't provide more of both. Goodbye.
Wish you nothing but the best!
Best wishes Miranda with your journey. I am sure you will succeed and get all of your wishes.
yeah same hereQuote:
Originally Posted by saifan
You're scaring me Miranda...is everything else OK?Quote:
Originally Posted by tsmirandameadows
I will give you $1,000 payment tonight if you are in distress and need a hand.
Miranda, talk to me, please. Don't let it all end here.
im new here aand i dont know you or what its like ot be ts, but i hit the same "logical conclusion to my life's trajectory" many years ago. if i did what i intended to do i would never have had the chance to see life doesnt always turn out as you imagne and things can get better. you have nothing to lose by talking to someone. i hope you get through this.
Well I totally misread things I guess. There is always someone to talk to...
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
You've got mail - please read it.
there is always help if you need it, if you have depression or something then talk to someone, things will always get better in time.
I too have felt the logical conclusion to my life's trajectory thing. It's strange to feel that way. No one should ever have to. But there really is hope. Things really do get better, even if it doesn't seem like it. I hope you hang in there Miranda.
As others have mentioned, getting help would be a great idea. There's nothing wrong with it. We are all in this together and we all need help to get through life. Wish I could give you a hug!
I can't comment on whether or not you should stick around with this scene in particular. Porn that is. That's your own decision. You got to do what makes you happy; what is best for you. But just know that though things feel impossible right now, and maybe they seem like they always will be and there's no point... It's just not true. You have a lot to live for.
This might sound like odd advice, but when I hit rock bottom, I found slight comfort in knowing things could only get better. And sure enough they did. Things get a LOT better. I also feel like a better person for continuing to fight when I did. And for reaching out to people before I made a huge mistake.
If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here.
that sucks. you will be missed.Quote:
Originally Posted by tsmirandameadows
Please reach out for help.
Your "life's trajectory" has certainly not reached any "logical conclusion".
Does anyone know Miranda??????????
Listen I'm being serious. I've been where you're at.
http://theeriver.wordpress.com/2009/...-dark-secrets/
Suicide is not a joking matter. I'm a nobody, a nothing. Your life is your life. Your pain is your pain.
If you listen to me on one thing though...I beg you reach out and talk to someone. Hell feel free to contact me. This is an open invitation to anyone considering suicide, or knows anyone considering suicide. I'll talk to you. I don't have all the answers, nor the solutions. Feel free to talk to me.. cc0926(at)gmail(dot)com.
I hope I'm jumping the gun, I hope this is some stupid prank, and I'll gladly wear the egg on my face.
Miranda,you're not alone,you are too important and mean too much.and you
have the strength to get through this..and then some.... whatever seems to be getting you down, you can deal with it, you're a fighter, so Keep on fighting, keep on pushing.
This is scary. Please choose life. please.Quote:
Originally Posted by tsmirandameadows
I hope this isn't goodbye, but if it is, take care. And it has been great to know you.
her twitter is gone...i dont think shes going to respond here...
Not replying to PM's either. I'm seriously worried about her.Quote:
Originally Posted by EvaCassini
Sorry to hear about this... I hope she can find things to help her. Its nice to see so many guys and girls try to reach out. I remember when I transitioned I had so many wonderful people around me. I know how hard this journey can be and I know we have struggles. Miranda I hope you find the hope and strength! Many of us have been through the same things in different ways. I never tried to do anything as an adult but did as a teen. I felt like nothing was out there. I am so happy I have lived this life to the fullest through the good and bad.
I will continue to say this and speak out, porn is not a place for girls early in their transition. It fucks with your head and can mess up your transition and ur view on the world, life and people!!! We are transitioning into women, so we go through puberty again, and sex working can mess that journey up. Much love and its great to see so many of you supporting Miranda.
meltdown
Miranda, believe me, it gets better. You are an amazing and unique person full of talent, intelligence, charm, & radiant beauty! You've barely even completed the first third of your life...There are so many experiences, triumphs, & loving people in just a small stretch of time. Just talk to someone. Please.
One of these days I'm coming to Dallas to give you a sizeble donation.Quote:
Originally Posted by EvaCassini
Miranda life changes..by the month..give yourself time to breathe..
Seek someone that can uplift your thoughts.
I like how people are mocking her..asshats..
Look what happen to Bridget..it isn't very funny
Deleted...never mind...
You might just be a cunt. Piss off.Quote:
Originally Posted by bulldogtuck
Sorry about Briget - I still haven't deleted her from my Twitter follows - but killing yourself because a man doesn't love you is just...?
Prolly gonna get flak for this...
People do a lot of crazy things when their drunk..hormones - drinking - and if you already suffer from depression is a nasty mix. Plus she was messing around in the adult world which can be very daunting for girls.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben in LA
Gender dysphoria can mess with you. I'm a very stable person, but I remember when my hubby said to my stomach looks weird from the side from certain angles like I almost have a tiny beer belly even though I'm toned/skinny. It made me so nervous to walk around in a bikini after I would cover my stomach so noone could see me from the side at the beach when I'm walking.
It's a very powerful thing dysphoria.
has anyone heard from her other than her making this thread?
From the looks of things, any and all communication has ceased. Only places, as far as I've seen and know that she had any comms was here and twitter. Her twitter is down and again, no response here yet.
Suicide is a possibility, but perhaps she didn't want any connections to the porn world anymore via here and her now old twitter.
---Also...dude, who replied to my first post in this thread...i understand what you said and that's dandy, whether real or jest...but this thread is not the proper place to say that. Time and place, buddy.
Miranda and I talked a lot via pm on twitter and she shared some of her troubles with me. The fact that she's closed that down and isn't responding to anything at all is really scaring me. Anyone in the Bay area able to help?Quote:
Originally Posted by EvaCassini
I replied to him, hastily and angrily, but in these sad circumstances, appropriately. Let's hope he's learned a lesson. All too typical of some of the idiots in this place.Quote:
Originally Posted by EvaCassini
I'm a bit uncomfortable with sharing this but if it means that someone comes forward who can somehow help it will be worth it.Quote:
Originally Posted by robertlouis
Miranda, we love you for your personality especially and I believe there is always something out there for everyone, whatever happens. I hope you will find a way.....
Oh jeez.... Miranda... come on if you are reading this. PMs on the way too. But you are wonderful and bright and beautiful. Take a trip over here. You are valued. We'll make this online friendship real - and just hang out, have some fun, laugh, chill. You are a great human being. Please recognise the genuine affection that a lot of people here feel for you and do not give way to despair.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about taking my life every day. Having a son is the only thing that keeps me breathing. And I certainly am constantly mulling retirement. This industry used to be easy money to do a very difficult thing: transition. Now, many of us are barely scraping by. I don't even want to discuss how bad it is.
The idea that the world doesn't value anything you have to offer enough to even allow for even a modest living really does a number on one's self esteem and causes one to necessarily take on a 'me against the world' mentality to survive... until they tire of fighting the constant subjugation, financial struggle, and betrayal that comes with it, regardless of how accomplished one is.
Some of us are just too good for this world. That's the honest truth. Nobody wants to see a person kill themselves, but I'd like to know where all the well-wishers were when they could have made a difference. Probably stealing a struggling girl's videos from tube sites.
One can't live without a living. It's the ultimate rejection.
~BB~
That's sadly all too true and it certainly applies in this case. Thanks for your candid and compassionate insight, Bella.Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaBellucci
Right now I'm trying something I stopped doing years ago because it's all that's left. Praying.