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Men on dating ts women
Men, besides the obvious judgement and segregation that can come along with dating a transsexual women.
Is another reason it's hard to date trans-women because of the contempt many transsexual woman seem to have towards men?
I have never really understand the hate and how loosely the term "tranny chaser" is thrown about.
Also why the word shemale is such a sacrilege, besides it being a porn term. Some get mad, because of it having "male" in it. Well so does female = FE-MALE...
Then you got the transsexuals who want this prince charming sort of man that has never been with a transsexual and would never ever want to be with another transsexual besides her or be attracted to another transsexual. It's like get a GRIP on reality...
Then a man is called a 'tranny chaser' due to the fact he has slept around with so many girls. Well girls men do the same with women...and if they dated one tgirl he may want to date another tgirl...
Or how insensitive transsexuals are to the men who are interested in them. It's like don't you remember what it was like to come out to your friends and family, the male has to deal with something similar who dates you. If you just gave the guy a chance he may not be such a bad guy after all. I just find transsexuals seem to demonize men.
Lastly, porn girls that get so up in arms over the term shemale and go after companies like say Steven's because he uses the terminology shemale...BUT SWEETHEART noone is forcing you to pose for that site..if you don't want men to label you a shemale..why promote it by posing for the site? It's always been hypocritical to me. Can you really get mad if so and so who has never been with a ts just came from a porn site looking at your video called Shemale Fill in blank...calls you a hot "shemale"?? I mean girls will go off and get all bitchy..and then in turn the guy feeling attacked says something stupid and hurtful cause of it. Then it's like world war 500..why can't the transsexual pornstar just say sweety I prefer to be called whatever the case may be..instead of being a cunt about it? The guy under most circumstances will be respectful if he is treated respectfully.
I just find transsexuals in general like to play the victim and can be so hypocritical. Yet they want everyone to feel sorry for them or see things their way or have empathy for them. Yet they have no empathy or look at themselves in the mirror..
Do you think you would be more willing to date a transsexual woman if so many didn't have so many hang ups on men?
Or what is your perception...
I know this thread is going to cause a commotion and some hate...
But I think transsexuals have had their say on men on here 100 times over, so why not let the men INTELLECTUALLY (not disrespectfully) say theirs...
Just a few thoughts I had and a blog I want to write so it would be great to get some views from men..
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Re: Men on dating ts women
great post kelly .I have found when I meet a girl I want to date she just wants 2 "date" for an hour or so. I have taken tgirls to dinner and movies and to central park concerts but they always appear to be disgruntled and in a hurry to get back to their money so now sadly i jus pay and play.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chromeheart44m
great post kelly .I have found when I meet a girl I want to date she just wants 2 "date" for an hour or so. I have taken tgirls to dinner and movies and to central park concerts but they always appear to be disgruntled and in a hurry to get back to their money so now sadly i jus pay and play.
Yes, a majority are working girls. But there are also quite a few who aren't, usually those girls don't hang in the transsexual scene though.
If they do they hang in LGBT activist works...so that may be a place for you to start looking.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KellyShore
I just find transsexuals in general like to play the victim and can be so hypocritical. Yet they want everyone to feel sorry for them or see things their way or have empathy for them. Yet they have no empathy or look at themselves in the mirror..
http://isanyoneup.com/wp-content/upl...02/santos6.gif
default tranny response = "why are you even hereif you don't like transsexuals? obviously you love us since you spend so much time thinking about us etc etc"
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bluesoul
lmao I am not saying men don't have their faults, I'm just saying transsexuals overly demonize men that are into us
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Re: Men on dating ts women
I read men, maybe sometimes overanalyze it... but it helps me.
If a man truly wants to be in a relationship with me, he would have no problem taking me out, having a blast with me and at the end of the night have no sex, men who want sex at the begging want freebies. If that;s the case I might as well charge.
I guess being in the industry, I am so deprived of emotional connections, that I truly seek that when looking for a partner, It's more to it than sex because I know i deliver in bed, so lets move on and get on with the substance.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EvonRose
If a man truly wants to be in a relationship with me, he would have no problem taking me out, having a blast with me and at the end of the night have no sex, men who want sex at the begging want freebies. If that;s the case I might as well charge.
.
amazing response. any hope of a rational response on kelly's behalf has just been thwarted by this single sentence.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bluesoul
amazing response. any hope of a rational response on kelly's behalf has just been thwarted by this thing sentence.
Well I agree with her. If you want to date a TS woman then take her out as you would any woman and don't expect just because she's a TS it would lead to sex right away.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
I've always told myself some of the difficulties in dealing with many TGs has more to do with how hard it is to BE transgendered.
I put up with more shit from a TG than I would a GG, to a point. If it's really too hard being up front with one another I just bounce and quit trying.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
seanchai
Well I agree with her. If you want to date a TS woman then take her out as you would any woman and don't expect just because she's a TS it would lead to sex right away.
I don't necessarily agree..loads of men invite women over to their house to "watch movies" just for sex..
I think if the guy is being honest he wants nothing serious and isn't ready to come out..and if the girl still proceeds it's her own fault she got burnt..not the man she is angry with.
A lot of the issues trans-women have are of their own fault..
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
seanchai
Well I agree with her. If you want to date a TS woman then take her out as you would any woman and don't expect just because she's a TS it would lead to sex right away.
with one exception: one can go out with "any woman" and still expect sex right away. and if you're working "in the industry", it's likely that you have a demeanor that suggests the night might be ending with more than just a peck on the cheek.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EvonRose
I read men, maybe sometimes overanalyze it... but it helps me.
If a man truly wants to be in a relationship with me, he would have no problem taking me out, having a blast with me and at the end of the night have no sex, men who want sex at the begging want freebies. If that;s the case I might as well charge.
I guess being in the industry, I am so deprived of emotional connections, that I truly seek that when looking for a partner, It's more to it than sex because I know i deliver in bed, so lets move on and get on with the substance.
That's your choice to make not to have sex with him..
Most men in this day in era expect sex at the end of a date or at least second base...
That goes for straight/gay/trans relationships etc
It's up to the two parties to conduct themselves in the manner they want.
I've dated plenty of men long term who never had a single long term relationship, and that's cause I didn't put out in the first month or even second month.
I made him work for it..a lot of men think if she is gonna sleep with me on the first night then she must do this with everyone..
So in a way yes it's a way for them to get off fast, but at the same time it's a way for them to figure out your character too..
I don't place blame on men...I place blame on the individual..
You can only be treated how you want to be treated in a dating situation.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Let's see, I like GG's and have had lots of fun with them both in and out of the bedrrom, no problem. But, I also like TG's, and I like them both as people and, have to say this, I also like them for their special 'parts', and there is the rub. The TG gets mad if she is liked because she has that 'part'.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Tranny chasers are men who fetish on women like us, it does not give a hope of stability or a hope in creating a strong bond and relationship since tranny chasers cannot see past the dick fantasy, that is a tranny chaser and therefore would never date one.
If a person calls me she male I would punch him in the face believe that, she male has no useful meaning to describe me accomplishing my womanhood, it's highly offensive and degrading, it's offensive as a term because they don't respect you enough to call you by your identity, instead rationalize it as a term to use to make you a freak, like a hybrid, or a sideshow. Same as lady boy, or he/she, or shedick, etc...
Tranny chasers will never take you as a woman seriously, and i don't know why avoiding any intimate contact with them is bad, actually I think it's useful. i have seen too many gf get used and burned by tranny chasers, and I will never associate myself because I refuse to be hurt, burned, and used.
some of us are only satisfied once we get to full womanhood, and have lots of respect for ts who do not conform to these terms... However Many are comfortable and that's ok too... not my personal taste. But I get it.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EvonRose
Tranny chasers are men who fetish on women like us, it does not give a hope of stability or a hope in creating a strong bond and relationship since tranny chasers cannot see past the dick fantasy, that is a tranny chaser and therefore would never date one.
If a person calls me she male I would punch him in the face believe that, she male has no useful meaning to describe me accomplishing my womanhood, it's highly offensive and degrading, it's offensive as a term because they don't respect you enough to call you by your identity, instead rationalize it as a term to use to make you a freak, like a hybrid, or a sideshow. Same as lady boy, or he/she, or shedick, etc...
Tranny chasers will never take you as a woman seriously, and i don't know why avoiding any intimate contact with them is bad, actually I think it's useful. i have seen too many gf get used and burned by tranny chasers, and I will never associate myself because I refuse to be hurt, burned, and used.
some of us are only satisfied once we get to full womanhood, and have lots of respect for ts who do not conform to these terms... However Many are comfortable and that's ok too... not my personal taste. But I get it.
Men fetish on women? I think the term tranny chaser is passed around to liberally..I mean any man under the sun who wants to suck a trannies cock is a tranny chaser to some
And you can't say that honestly if you never give the guy a chance to know you other than the sex...
Some guys will fall for your personality or other reasons...
Some guys just need to get past the judgement..as did many transsexual women before they came to terms with who they are..
To just label a guy is unfair...
I assume you don't like to be labeled...
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Re: Men on dating ts women
If you own your sexuality and know yourself – sex on a first date should not be a deal breaker. Some relationships grow from casual sexual relationships, some from friendships and other you just hit it off straight away. If you know what you want and are clear about it then fine. have sex if you so wish….
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KellyShore
Men fetish on women? I think the term tranny chaser is passed around to liberally..I mean any man under the sun who wants to suck a trannies cock is a tranny chaser to some
No the fetish is directed towards ts...
Liking a tranny does not make one a chaser.
some men want to have a relationship or maybe even marry a ts. That does not classify a chaser.
If a guy's sexual fantasy is to dress in womb's clothes, what do you call him? A crossdresser, it s fetish.
What do you call a guy who looks at ts women as a fetish? Tranny chaser.
If labels hurt you then it's the person who isn't comfortable.
It goes far beyond just liking a ts kelly, its the main point of the attraction.
I never met straight guy who says "I date any girls with vaginas", they hold a personal standard or in the case any guy would just fuck Rosie O Donald.
Date a man who focuses on dicks so much, get a sex change let's see if they stick around.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tsadriana
If you own your sexuality and know yourself – sex on a first date should not be a deal breaker. Some relationships grow from casual sexual relationships, some from friendships and other you just hit it off straight away. If you know what you want and are clear about it then fine. have sex if you so wish….
I'm not saying they don't, but what I am saying there is greater chance you don't get a call back...
There is a greater chance that individual doesn't see a trans for any thing more than a piece of ass when he needs it...
Cause noone challenged his way of thinking
Or girls validate his way of thinking with their personalities
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Umm yes .... I mean no.
What was the question?
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EvonRose
No the fetish is directed towards ts...
Liking a tranny does not make one a chaser.
some men want to have a relationship or maybe even marry a ts. That doe snot classify a chaser.
Most men that want that were "tranny chasers" at one time..
They didn't know in the beginning a transsexual is what they wanted..
They had to sleep around and test the waters...
And then own who they are..
That all took time and trial and error
Before my husband and I were together he slept around with loads of women and a handful of transsexuals..some that I knew...
Does it bother me..NO...I'm secure and know he loves me....
Does it bother me he watches ts porn...NO...cause that's what guys do...
I just think some things are just SILLY...with the way transsexual women think..
We have been together for four years now..
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EvonRose
I read men, maybe sometimes overanalyze it... but it helps me.
If a man truly wants to be in a relationship with me, he would have no problem taking me out, having a blast with me and at the end of the night have no sex, men who want sex at the begging want freebies. If that;s the case I might as well charge.
I guess being in the industry, I am so deprived of emotional connections, that I truly seek that when looking for a partner, It's more to it than sex because I know i deliver in bed, so lets move on and get on with the substance.
how about a movie and then going home and snuggling while watching tv
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Kelly honesty is the key, however, not everyone is going to be honest about their intentions when you first meet them and some men will just downright lie and tell you what you want to hear. So far, I have only had a small percentage of men be honest in admitting they only want NSA sex, the vast majority of men have lied to me and then to make it even more difficult you have the men who were interested in a LTR but have now deemed you easy and decided you are no longer LTR material.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tsadriana
Kelly honesty is the key, however, not everyone is going to be honest about their intentions when you first meet them and some men will just downright lie and tell you what you want to hear. So far, I have only had a small percentage of men be honest in admitting they only want NSA sex, the vast majority of men have lied to me and then to make it even more difficult you have the men who were interested in a LTR but have now deemed you easy and decided you are no longer LTR material.
I think too many people base their relationship on SEX..and it's the reason it doesn't last and the reason people cheat...and the reason so many can't stand being at home with their significant other...cause the romance died..you gotta have more than that..
and if you look up studies - I would be right on my stance..especially on one night stands
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Re: Men on dating ts women
True ,but u know Kelly that is so hard to find an honest man .
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tsadriana
If you own your sexuality and know yourself – sex on a first date should not be a deal breaker. Some relationships grow from casual sexual relationships, some from friendships and other you just hit it off straight away. If you know what you want and are clear about it then fine. have sex if you so wish….
Oh it is a deal breaker for me for sure! That does not work with me.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cecil Rhodes
how about a movie and then going home and snuggling while watching tv
That's cute.... I love it.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tsadriana
True ,but u know Kelly that is so hard to find an honest man .
I don't agree..I don't think men are that complicated...
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KellyShore
I don't agree..I don't think men are that complicated...
Maybe im not that lucky as i thought .
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EvonRose
Oh it is a deal breaker for me for sure! That does not work with me.
I think is trust btw both partenrs on a first date .
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tsadriana
Maybe im not that lucky as i thought .
I mean it's not hard to figure out when a guy isn't ready to commit to a relationship with a trans...
If you like his personality..keep him in the friend category..maybe after he sees who you are and how the world around you treats you..he would be more willing to commit or date on something more serious...
I find patience is needed..just like patience is needed with a transsexual who is pretty much transitioned with a transsexual who is just starting..it can be annoying but I always try to give advice and be uplifting...
I find some just need to be taught and given a chance..
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tsadriana
I think is trust btw both partenrs on a first date .
How can you trust anyone meeting them one day? lol
I mean that's a lot of trust to give
That's like playing Russian roulette
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Re: Men on dating ts women
[QUOTE=KellyShore;1120943]Most men that want that were "tranny chasers" at one time..
They didn't know in the beginning a transsexual is what they wanted..
They had to sleep around and test the waters...
And then own who they are..
That all took time and trial and error
Before my husband and I were together he slept around with loads of women and a handful of transsexuals..some that I knew...
Does it bother me..NO...I'm secure and know he loves me....
There is no scientific facts that everyone see's Ts women in a fetish at first. that is false.
Documented cases have said straight men dated post op women and even married them knowing this fact. So a straight man married a post op, does not make him a chaser not because of the cock situation, it's because he fully embraced her as a woman.
Liking a ts woman is like liking a gg woman, it's a feminine form, It's biologically impossible for a man to turn a beautiful feminine woman down.
Watching porn, fantasizing doe snot classify any man as a chaser. it's the actions of a man towards ts women.
I don't think it's silly at all, if a ts wants to have a meaningful relationship she should def filter out the guys she dates.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KellyShore
I mean it's not hard to figure out when a guy isn't ready to commit to a relationship with a trans...
If you like his personality..keep him in the friend category..maybe after he sees who you are and how the world around you treats you..he would be more willing to commit or date on something more serious...
I find patience is needed..just like patience is needed with a transsexual who is pretty much transitioned with a transsexual who is just starting..it can be annoying but I always try to give advice and be uplifting...
I find some just need to be taught and given a chance..
Very true ....Always on a first date i tend to be dressed more classy ...who knows maybe not every men taste the classy fashion,when becomes about dinner date in a posj restaurant i know that the best wardrobe is the classy one.x
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Re: Men on dating ts women
[quote=EvonRose;1120959]
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KellyShore
Most men that want that were "tranny chasers" at one time..
They didn't know in the beginning a transsexual is what they wanted..
They had to sleep around and test the waters...
And then own who they are..
That all took time and trial and error
Before my husband and I were together he slept around with loads of women and a handful of transsexuals..some that I knew...
Does it bother me..NO...I'm secure and know he loves me....
There is no scientific facts that everyone see's Ts women in a fetish at first. that is false.
Documented cases have said straight men dated post op women and even married them knowing this fact. So a straight man married a post op, does not make him a chaser not because of the cock situation, it's because he fully embraced her as a woman.
Liking a ts woman is like liking a gg woman, it's a feminine form, It's biologically impossible for a man to turn a beautiful feminine woman down.
Watching porn, fantasizing doe snot classify any man as a chaser. it's the actions of a man towards ts women.
I don't think it's silly at all, if a ts wants to have a meaningful relationship she should def filter out the guys she dates.
That's a lot different than a pre-operative transsexual and especially a pre-operative transsexual that's an escort..
A lot of men have issues with girls who escort and wont take them serious or as wife material..so how do you expect them to treat you?
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KellyShore
I think too many people base their relationship on SEX..and it's the reason it doesn't last and the reason people cheat...and the reason so many can't stand being at home with their significant other...cause the romance died..you gotta have more than that..
and if you look up studies - I would be right on my stance..especially on one night stands
I agree on this, and men tend to base a lot of it on sex...
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Re: Men on dating ts women
I believe what pops always told me to be true.
Offer no information but if asked....look em in the eye and answer their question truthfully.
Here is my problem, I like how my life is right now. I am so selfish right now that there is only room for one other person in my life.
I can buy hot. And I occasionally stumble up into some strange (more often than most)
Who would want a relationship with a guy like that?
I have no problem taking a girl out, bailing her out of a tight financial straight or accepting her lifestyle. Unfortunately there is a double standard which I am very cool with.
I am holding the best hand right now.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KellyShore
How can you trust anyone meeting them one day? lol
I mean that's a lot of trust to give
That's like playing Russian roulette
True Kelly .....I think when u make the eye contact on a first date u know straight away how the person feels about u...i din`t know that in the past but i know now.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Men have to chase you because you girls keep running.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KellyShore
Men, besides the obvious judgement and segregation that can come along with dating a transsexual women.
Is another reason it's hard to date trans-women because of the contempt many transsexual woman seem to have towards men?
I have never really understand the hate and how loosely the term "tranny chaser" is thrown about.
Also why the word shemale is such a sacrilege, besides it being a porn term. Some get mad, because of it having "male" in it. Well so does female = FE-MALE...
Then you got the transsexuals who want this prince charming sort of man that has never been with a transsexual and would never ever want to be with another transsexual besides her or be attracted to another transsexual. It's like get a GRIP on reality...
Then a man is called a 'tranny chaser' due to the fact he has slept around with so many girls. Well girls men do the same with women...and if they dated one tgirl he may want to date another tgirl...
Or how insensitive transsexuals are to the men who are interested in them. It's like don't you remember what it was like to come out to your friends and family, the male has to deal with something similar who dates you. If you just gave the guy a chance he may not be such a bad guy after all. I just find transsexuals seem to demonize men.
Lastly, porn girls that get so up in arms over the term shemale and go after companies like say Steven's because he uses the terminology shemale...BUT SWEETHEART noone is forcing you to pose for that site..if you don't want men to label you a shemale..why promote it by posing for the site? It's always been hypocritical to me. Can you really get mad if so and so who has never been with a ts just came from a porn site looking at your video called Shemale Fill in blank...calls you a hot "shemale"?? I mean girls will go off and get all bitchy..and then in turn the guy feeling attacked says something stupid and hurtful cause of it. Then it's like world war 500..why can't the transsexual pornstar just say sweety I prefer to be called whatever the case may be..instead of being a cunt about it? The guy under most circumstances will be respectful if he is treated respectfully.
I just find transsexuals in general like to play the victim and can be so hypocritical. Yet they want everyone to feel sorry for them or see things their way or have empathy for them. Yet they have no empathy or look at themselves in the mirror..
Do you think you would be more willing to date a transsexual woman if so many didn't have so many hang ups on men?
Or what is your perception...
I know this thread is going to cause a commotion and some hate...
But I think transsexuals have had their say on men on here 100 times over, so why not let the men INTELLECTUALLY (not disrespectfully) say theirs...
Just a few thoughts I had and a blog I want to write so it would be great to get some views from men..
WOW!!! Great post Kelly! I have contemplated talking about some of the things mentioned in your post for as long as I have been a member of this forum, ultimately I decided against it each time. I feared that I would be perceived as a troll and attacked/despised in the same way that Freddy seems to relish bringing upon himself.
It took me a very long time to understand that I was bisexual to some degree, maybe 25%? (Who knows, who cares?) It took a very long time to be truly accepting of my attraction to transsexual gals. Looking back I can see that when I was confused, ashamed, and fearful of that attraction I had more "sex appeal" in the eyes of the trans ladies I talked to then I did after I made peace with it.
When I truly just wanted to talk and try to learn they were so eager to quickly move things towards sex. Other than my very first physical experience with a t-girl the girls quickly seemed to lose interest. Once you lose your shiny new car smell the ladies are repelled by you. Have you ever tried anything with a t-girl like me? Well I once held hands with a t-girl while watching a movie and... Oh My gawd, you are just another tranny chaser creep. Get away from me!!!! Wait. Are you fucking serious? Yes I am serious. I thought you were a nice guy, you lied to me. You are just a creepy perv! Wait! How did I lie about anything? You asked a question and I answered it! Why are... Get the fuck away from me! Don't call me ever again! Asshole!
I have had this exact scenario play out several times. For what? What is my crime? The worst thing you could do to a transsexual is not to be a group of morons that jump out of a truck and bash her with a baseball bat; the worst thing to say is "I know that I often have an attraction to t-girls, I am super-attracted to you and I really want the chance to get to know you and see if this can become something meaningful." < Dead man walking.
That whole fantasy you mentioned about the 100% straight guy that falls for the tranny is all only real in the minds of the angry, dramatic, self-hating (?) t-girls that make that shit up. If you thought the movie "Pretty Woman" was bullshit, this is the sequel gone full-retard times 1000. Many of the t-girls that I know seem to be starved for love, yet they seem ferociously determined to remain that way. Is it damaged people shooting themselves in the foot again and again for the glory of martyrdom?
It kills me how they will treat you like shit if you meet them in one of the bars. They typically will tell you to get away because they don't want to meet someone "in one of the bars." They hate when I do this but I quickly turn the tables and ask them where else I could have met them? I tell them that they are usually cowards that go nowhere except the bars, the tanning salon, and the mailbox. How can I meet you out in the "regular world" if you seem so intent to avoid it?
Whatever the cause might be I find myself wrestling with both sadness/frustration that one door that is unexplored territory seems to be locked in front of me. On the other hand I cling to the hope that the door leading to the more familiar path with ultimately provide me with the satisfying loving relationship that I crave in my life. Only time will provide me with the answer I want, I just detest having my options being limited by others.
I don't wish to set off a fire-storm but I have felt for several years now that the self-destructive nature of the transsexual/trans-attracted group often mirrors much of the conflicted, and self-sabotaging behavior that sometimes occurs in parts of the black community. The overwhelming majority of us in the (GLBT) seem determined to continue demonizing and attacking each other (attacking ones own self) as (so many) people in the 100% straight community have taught us to do. Is we sick today master? I guess we is people.
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Re: Men on dating ts women
Great Post Kelly !
First of all dating and relationships are challenging no matter what your persuasion or gender identity. As you pointed out, men and TS women dating have unique challenges meeting up and maintaining a relationship.
As a straight 30-something guy who has dated transsexual women since my mid 20's, I can tell you that the hardest thing for men is just finding TS women to ask out and date. I live in Chicago in an area called Wrigleyville where there are clubs and an active social scene for just about everyone, yet even here in one of the most diverse active cities in the country, it's not easy. I think a lot of TS prefer to just live as woman and keep their physical gender identity private. Just like the rest of the general population, not everyone is comfortable joining dating sites or putting themselves out there to go after what they really want.
The next biggest challenge dating TS women is the same challenge any two people face once they find mutual attraction with someone, trust. They're wondering if this person wants the same that thing they do. One person may want short and sweet the other may be looking more long term. The trust issue gets magnified between a guy and a TS woman because they just have a lot more questions between them to answer early on in a relationship. Is the guy serious or just looking to explore his curiosity? If she's living a life as a woman full time and keeps her gender identity private, will he out her? If he's not out with his own attractions yet, will she out him?
The whole outing issue has it's own drama. I'm completely out about my preference to ts women and can take a ts woman out, introduce her to friends and still there's some doubt in her mind that lingers until you fully demonstrate your outness. Here I think that has more to do with me than anything else. I have a pretty conservative corporate look and lifestyle, and a lot of woman find it hard to believe that a corporate guy would openly date a TS woman since so many will not. Lots of exceptions there in every direction that's just my personal experience. I'm just bringing up the outing issue because it's a big deal between a guy and a TS woman.
I'll close by saying to TS women, there's guys out there waiting to meet you who aren't all bad. If a straight guy does find a way to meet you, he's already put out an extra effort to find a woman like you, so you'd be right in being flattered and feeling good about it.
Thanks for the post Kelly!
