Needed: Friendly Advice Please!!

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12-11-2005
hotfireman69

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Needed: Friendly Advice Please!!

I have met this wonderful woman via the internet dating site AFF, and we have been talking over the phone and exchanging emails for about 8 months now....I am getting ready to go and spend 9 days with her in January, and she says she wants to come back with me and be my wife...she lives in a border city in Mexico.....I really really like this woman and would just like to get everyones opinion...It is hard to find a TS that wants to settle down, and especially in the southern booneys where I am from, so I am hoping this is the real thing....Thanks to all that reply.........
12-11-2005
El_hefe

Hey hotfireman69... slow down man... you haven't even met someone who lives in a Mexican border town & you're talking marriage? Where's the fire? Try not to let the little head take over. Spend your holiday with her & then spend a few long weekends with her, there or in FL. See how it goes. Don't make a BIG mistake too early. Good luck bro.
12-11-2005
El_hefe

And if things seem to go pretty good for 6-9 months, hire a Spanish speaking private detective from the US side to check out her past. Money well spent IMO.
12-11-2005
chefmike

I wish you luck, but be cautious. I can't tell you how many guys that I knew in the service, who hastily married girls overseas, only to find out that the lady just wanted to live in the US at any cost. No need to rush things, if it's really love.
12-11-2005
joyboy123

Quote:

Originally Posted by chefmike

I wish you luck, but be cautious. I can't tell you how many guys that I knew in the service, who hastily married girls overseas, only to find out that the lady just wanted to live in the US at any cost. No need to rush things, if it's really love.

Excellent advice, I was in the military and saw the same thing happen. I like El_Hefe's advice also, you really don't know who this person is and you may want to check into her past.
12-11-2005
BOATER

Agree, agree, agree.
I'd be weary. When any girl wants things to move that fast I'd be cautious. See how your week together goes. If it goes well plan a Valentine's trip somewhere.
There are plenty of TS girls, that are looking for a good husband. So it's not odd that she wants this. I'm approaching 30 soon, and the woman I have dates in last few years GG or TS want to settle down soon.
My ex TS GF, wanted to get enough money to get her "operation", retire from the biz, and get married. She's achieved one, from a big multi city tour and a few shoots. And I'm sure she'll do the others. .
Anyway, slow down. 8 months of emails and phone chats is a long time and I'm sure you feel like you know each other well. But try seeing her for at least 3 extended visits before you honeslty think about moving her in. See how thing go after this visit. I assume those are her pics, (not sure why you posted her, could have kept wifey private) but she's not a young immature girl that doesn't know what she wants. Just make sure she isn't the obsessive type.
Just promise no wedding bells till at least the spring.
12-11-2005
Hara_Juku Tgirl

Be your wife? Hmm Is that used as a figure of speech or..does that mean you are planning to "marry" her?..

If so, How is that possible? Is that allowed in Fl.? I think only Massachusettes as of rightnow allows such marriage. And Vermont allows some sorta "domestic partneship" agreement like an LLC type of deal. Correct me if Im wrong but Its still considered as "Gay marriage" right? (Post-op or Pre-op..whatever her gender status is).

Or does Marriage even matter for both of you guys? I know a few people who has a "husband and wife" type of relationship without the legality of marriage.

At any rate, whatever you guys have decided upon. And based on *HOW* your actual meeting goes..I wish both of you the best.;)

~Kisses.

HTG
12-11-2005
December

Re: Needed: Friendly Advice Please!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotfireman69

I have met this wonderful woman via the internet dating site AFF, and we have been talking over the phone and exchanging emails for about 8 months now....I am getting ready to go and spend 9 days with her in January, and she says she wants to come back with me and be my wife...she lives in a border city in Mexico.....I really really like this woman and would just like to get everyones opinion...It is hard to find a TS that wants to settle down, and especially in the southern booneys where I am from, so I am hoping this is the real thing....Thanks to all that reply.........

Hope is good, don't let it blind you. You shouldn't even be thinking about marraige until you've met face-to-face (okay, I'm joining the chorus here...).

People on the Internet are not the people they are in real life. People on dating sites even moreso. The 'net provides one with the option of deleting something and rewriting it in a more attractive/palatable way before your words are seen/read/understood. Meet with her, spend time, actually get to know the PERSON, not the image. (this is a long process.)

Desperation is dangerous, and haste is usually based on it. Think ahead.
12-11-2005
hotfireman69

Thank you all for the advice, and yes I have thought of all these things that you guys have mentioned, I guess I just wanted some reassurance...Harajuku, as for as marriage goes, if it goes that far I agree with you that we could just live as husband and wife, (no Fl does not have gay marriages). I was in the military too, and I was in Korea, and I have seen exactly what you are talking about Chef Mike, so yes I will be careful, make a couple of visits and see how it goes....I must admit that I myself am a little anxious too, because I don't want this oppurtunity to get away, no telling when I might get to meet another TS that wants a LTR.....Again thanks for the words of advice........and Boater, I don't know why I put up the pics, I thought about that afterwards...and wished I had not done that....
12-11-2005
Roadblock7611

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harajuku Tgirl

Be your wife? Hmm Is that used as a figure of speech or..does that mean you are planning to "marry" her?..

If so, How is that possible? Is that allowed in Fl.? I think only Massachusettes as of rightnow allows such marriage. And Vermont allows some sorta "domestic partneship" agreement like an LLC type of deal. Correct me if Im wrong but Its still considered as "Gay marriage" right? (Post-op or Pre-op..whatever her gender status is).

Or does Marriage even matter for both of you guys? I know a few people who has a "husband and wife" type of relationship without the legality of marriage.

At any rate, whatever you guys have decided upon. And based on *HOW* your actual meeting goes..I wish both of you the best.;)

~Kisses.

HTG

an interesting point....If a tgirl in another country would want to move to the US would she have to marry a GG?
12-11-2005
Hara_Juku Tgirl

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotfireman69

Harajuku, as for as marriage goes, if it goes that far I agree with you that we could just live as husband and wife, (no Fl does not have gay marriages).

You're quite welcome hotfireman69. I guess you guys can do just that (have a husband and wifey type of relationship without the papers). Marriage is the tricky part when it comes to marrying a transexual. In Cali. I heard even if one changes sex i.e. had her SRS her medical records still show her as male. Im not sure how it is in other states. Tula if I recall married a british guy..but due to the fact that she was a he even if she went through SRS UK doesnt permit such a marriage. So they moved to Canada where it is legally binding.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roadblock7611

an interesting point....If a tgirl in another country would want to move to the US would she have to marry a GG?

I would think so. LOL. Unless she "Fixed" her papers i.e. birthcert, passport and shows her as "F". Otherwise, Yes she (The transexual) would have to marry a GG. ;) Unless ofcourse, she marries in Massachusettes or have a "domestic partnership" agreement marriage (LLC) in Vermont. Even that, I think would be "tricky". LOL :lol:

~Kisses.

HTG
12-11-2005
flabbybody

I was thinking the same thing Arianna. didn't think the pics were approprite given the nature of the topic.

hope all goes well for you hotfire. keep us updated
12-11-2005
BOATER

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotfireman69

Thank you all for the advice, and yes I have thought of all these things that you guys have mentioned, I guess I just wanted some reassurance...Harajuku, as for as marriage goes, if it goes that far I agree with you that we could just live as husband and wife, (no Fl does not have gay marriages). I was in the military too, and I was in Korea, and I have seen exactly what you are talking about Chef Mike, so yes I will be careful, make a couple of visits and see how it goes....I must admit that I myself am a little anxious too, because I don't want this oppurtunity to get away, no telling when I might get to meet another TS that wants a LTR.....Again thanks for the words of advice........and Boater, I don't know why I put up the pics, I thought about that afterwards...and wished I had not done that....

hotfireman, you can always use the edit fyour post and take out the pics. As Arianna said the replies have been respectful, but don't leave it open for someone to make a stupid comments.
But relax, make sure and good luck.