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so recently i started to date a girl, i thought she was a ts, but she just crossdresses. i have dated tgirls in the past, but never a cd.. and im having a hard time with it, because he only dresses on the weekends. im really not attracted to men, and its causing a strain on the relationship. i dont want to lose her, because she is hot when shes dressed and i like her personality overall.
if anyone has any advice or has been in this situation before, any help is appreciated. thanks
I'd say cut him lose before you get more invested than you already are. If you're not identifying as gay and don't plan on it I'm not sure there is anything else that you can do.
Best of luck.
well just go with the feeling. if you are having a good time then go for it but you can't expect the person to totally change or only cross dress around you just to make you happy. life is fluid, forget the labels just have fun.
Yes you are attracted to the CD but it only happens on weekends and that will cause a strain in the relationship. If you don't see yourself attracted to men move on before you go too deep and get emotionaly involved. Plenty of other fish in the pond.
ugh.. i think i already knew deep down what i needed to do, but i just needed some feedback. its hard, because we have been dating almost a month, and we spend every day together. this is the biggest thing though, because i cant be affectionate in public with him when he's not dressed(im just not comfortable with it). its a different story when he is, because he's very passable.Quote:
Originally Posted by saifan
i appreciate the feedback, thank you :|
does she plan to go fulltime ? maybe she just needs some time? my ex stuck around while i was transitioning and ill always remember that , if shes gonna be just a cd then thats on u really..
You could offer to pay for her boob job.
http://www.shemale-411.com
yea make her ger DD then shes gonna have to be a girl haha jk
She must be one helluva CD!!!LOL
I simply can't imagine that happening, especially after the alcohol wore off and we woke up the next day.
But seriously, how did you become aware that she was only a CD and not TG?? How did she identify herself??
Just go with it....you were into her before so who cares?
Quote:
Originally Posted by giovanni_hotel
she stayed dressed for the first few times, and said she had to work so i left.. and like i said, shes very passable(thai) when dressed. there was one time a couple weeks ago, and we were talking after sex, and she asked what i would think if i saw her without the wig and makeup etc.. i said i dunno.. and she came back in the room undressed. it was a little awkward, but i couldnt be rude about it, im not like that. like i said she really is beautiful when shes dressed, thats why ive stuck around .. :|
chelchel, i highly doubt he'll go fulltime.. but i wish lol :p
I say kick her/him (???) to the curb! Or classify yourself as gay. Nothing wrong with that but, you need to decide....Are you gay or, are you not? Let us know how it turns out for you.
After sleeping on this, I think the OP is worried too much about labels, instead seaching for what makes them truly happy. So the question should be, "are you happy or not?" It even sounded like the OP wanted to be affectionate in public, but felt restrained, thinking about others opinions. It really should be about the person, and not some category. would the OP be happier with a fulltime ts, who was escorting, or streetwalking? I'm only a outsider giving advice myself. I don't have to live with the consequences. But there are a lot of people out there, who have regrets about someone they let get away, for reasons they thought were important at the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by CORVETTEDUDE
for me i find true beauty and attraction if a person doesnt put make up and wigs and all those clothes
so better decide if youll still like her if she all goes natural without all those things ;)
If you are not attracted to men why are you with the person? Unless he plans on transitioning, I just say you are wasting your time. Why not try to date a TS or someone who really wants to transition? Seems like you are just in love with the illusion.
well, i really dont classify myself as gay.. i have mostly dated gg's and a few ts's inbetween. im just attracted to the femininity of a woman(long hair, the way they smell and look in sexy outfits etc). not every ts thats fulltime will escort or do the things that go along with that, and im not the type of guy to date someone that does those things.. a hookup is a different story though.Quote:
Originally Posted by yodajazz
i understand what your saying, but im sure you used those things as you were transitioning. the way you look now is totally passable, with or without makeup, and if i was with you, it wouldnt bother me if you wanted to go natural all the time :pQuote:
Originally Posted by alyssats
i guess this is the best question.. i like them. i like hanging out with them, and i have a good time when we are together. i very well could be wasting my time, but i know what i like. he's only partially that, but rtight now im going to just take it as it goes and see what happens. i just moved to a new area from a big city where it wasnt too much of a problem finding someone that wanted to be fulltime or transition.. but here its less populated and i dont see myself finding a girl in that category. i wouldnt even know where to look..Quote:
Originally Posted by bte
Don't worry about the 'am I gay' problem, just ask her if she intends to go full time and decide if you can live with the outcome.
sorry to inform you but i even use more make up now compared when i was starting to transition. i started transitioning when i was 4 or 5 years old and i dont even wear any make up at that time. when i was in high school i only used loose powder ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by zip84121
I hesitate to give relationship advice because I don't know you, nor do I know all the parameters.
But it seems to me you've got to be comfortable going out in public with your CD friend in his natural state if you plan to stay with him for a long time. You've only been dating a month and there are plenty of fish in the sea. He's presumably attractive, so he'll find someone new on the rebound, and probably soon get over it. On the other hand, if you really like him then you might try a little longer to make it work and see if you can change. The main thing is to keep communicating with him about your feelings.
For what it's worth, I found myself in a similar situation (meeting a passable "part-time" CD) some years ago. After much thought I stayed with the person and had a relationship, which unfortunately ended some months later for a rather trivial reason...
think about it this way
if you cut him/her off will you miss him/her if yes then you should just be with them if your comfortable around them when they arent dressed up then you obviously like something about them so just follow your heart if they really like you maybe theyll go full time
Quote:
Originally Posted by zip84121
Quote:
Originally Posted by zip84121
If he only dresses on weekends, and yet you spend every day together, then for most of this time, you've been dating a man in man's clothes.
Yet you write that you didn't know your friend is a crossdresser?
I call bullshit.
Also, in your first post, you use feminine pronouns, then you switched to "he". Get your story straight.
I finally found the YouTube vid, of the same situation as the original post. This Asian makes a very convincing woman, but identitfies more as a gay male. The second part of the the vid is a process of removing the makeup to become male.
YouTube- Transforming Prejudice into Pride
Quote:
Originally Posted by yodajazz
This person does not have a passable voice and there is nothing in what he says to suggest he is a "very convincing woman"... just a gay boy miming and talking about his homosexuality.
At the end he shows his real self undisguised: a feminine boy. Just because members here get off on such people crossdressed does not make him "a very convincing woman."
IMO that asian guy in the vid was very convincing as a woman, and because he was so pretty as a girl, I just went with the voice.
In that particular case, I can see how someone would be attracted to him as a 'she', then have a dilemma when he stopped dressing in drag.
dont come in here and attack me. seriously grow the fuck up. i dont understand why your being hostile?Quote:
Originally Posted by phobun
when i first saw 'her', i only saw her on the weekends(first 2 weeks). after that, we started to hangout and 'he' wasnt dressed. for the first little while, NO i did not know he was a cd.. how would i? i only found out when he told me he wasnt fulltime.
as for using masc/fem pronouns, i was switching them based on how i was addressing 'them', thats all.
thank you for understanding.Quote:
Originally Posted by giovanni_hotel
Thats really tough dude if it is not just the physical attraction you have.He cant be looking that masculine without being crossdressed I guess.
But I really cant give advice on that. I suck with Love things too ( ;
who cares what others think, do what makes you happy. at the end of the day, you have to live with your choices, no one else.
so do you have an update for us?
Is it an issue of attraction or the fear of being perceived as gay?
If you aren't attracted to him while he's not cross-dressed, you two should have a talk about his plans. If he has no intention of cross-dressing during the week, you should understand that attraction is a large part of a relationship. Most guys wouldn't date ugly women even if it meant they'd get along better.