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What if you're dating a guy and he doesn't bring you around his family for the simple fact that he could possibly get disowned? Friends come and go, but family is different. I basically almost turned my back on my family when I dated a white gg cuz they was against it. We're now broken up but I still have my family. So I was just curious.
Is the girl pre-op or post op? Is she stealth and/or unclockable? Because many unspookable TS will just see passing for the family as another trivial formality to go through. If she's stealth, what girl would be ok w/ her BF outing her to his family anyway?Quote:
Originally Posted by jjhill
But families spook things. Like, if something seemed serious, they may start expecting a daughter-in-law and grandkids. And being clocked late in a relationship is messy and painful. I saw it happen to a girl in a 5 yr LTR. One day she finally met her BF's brother, and the brother outed her BF to his parents; basically saying, "your son has been dating a man for 5 years". In the end, it devastated their relationship. Very sad.
On the other hand, if her T is out in the open, who the hell would want to play those kinds of games? I can't imagine any girl feeling ok about dating a closet case.
Great points! Thanks for answering Nicole. Those were the answers I needed.
my family accepts me for me so i guess i got lucky. They wouldn't ever put me in a position to choose them or the girl i love GG or TS.
I dont have much of a family anyway. So it wont be an issue for me. But family is family and they should love you no matter who your with.
If your family is gonna disown you for something that really doesn't concern or hurt them....Fuck em
First of all, This is about you and your happiness - NOT about your family. No matter how much your family were against your choices in life, they will eventually come around at some point because you're still family regardless how skewed or fucked up you or your decisions are/were.Quote:
Originally Posted by jjhill
~Kisses.
HTG
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole Dupre
Quote:
Originally Posted by OEMEnemyNum1
:claps nuff said..lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Hara_Juku Tgirl
(excuse the kindas)
i'm kinda dealing with this issue with a guy im kinda serious with.
ive met all his family and friends but he is yet to tell them my t.
ive decided to let that be his issue, and i dont press it anymore.
[in the insecure parts of my mind though, i kinda think they know and dont want to say anything : / ]
i think the reason i havent let him in totally is because i'm afraid that one day if it comes to the light, i'm gonna feel so bad if they (especially his mom and his sister who i hang out with almost as much as him) feel like i deceived them.
Sooo... im thinking if i keep him and them at arms length, maybe it wont hurt as badly if its all snatched away because of an omission of truth.
But me keeping him at arms length is beginning to be an issue between us.. but ive already strayed far enough from the original topic- sorry jj.
I could'nt date a few GG because of that and man it really hurt.
I agree with Nicole on this topic... Family is family always, and I would understand if a guy do not want to introduce the girl to his family, but if they having a steady relationship for a long period of time then it is because the guy is pretty serious about the whole situation and it is time to meet the parents.
It is a little of an awkward situation (been there), and it is normal for the man to be nervous about the family finding her T, but if they both know how to deal with the situation and be ready in case they find out , well it is up to them.
But ultimately it is more about the man to decide what he really wants, if he wants her or not... I haven't heard lately about family disowning anyone, I think families do get shocked at first and just kinda learn how to deal with it, may be they do not accept the Gurl in the family but to the man they always keep in touch with him, idk , it's hard to know how someone would react in this situation, specially for the parents and how much this would hurt the guy and his relationship.
When I met my husband family nobody clocked me but I was pretty nervous, at the wedding in the church I did not invite any TS but my sister ( who is pretty passable ) at the party I sat my husband's family away from my gay friends and some of the T girls I invite to my weeding, when they were asking about who were those people my husband told them that I work with some of them , lol ! but I made sure that they wouldn't even talk to my friends... Although I think my husband's sister was talking to some of them but still no one said a thing. I even had my Brother-in-law hitting at me a couple times ( that's how fucked up family can be)
Love...
Cinthya.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jjhill
I'm going to flip the script a bit, and give the converse of that equation.
I don't bring someone I'm dating around my family or friends until I am
certain that the guy is sane and stable, not that I would intentionally date
a nut case, but I am very, very protective of my family and true friends.
As to your original question, I've always met the family, friends and co -
workers. I'm not clocky, I'm quite gregarious, have great inter-personal
skills, and their family and friends are usually quiite fond of me.
It may not be the huge problem you foresee, if the relationship is stable
and she is the right girl.
It's alot like bringing alot of differrent men or women around your kids if
you have any, you have to think carefully about who and when you let
people around your kids.
:2cent