I told my mother about Jennifer --
yup --after eight months of hiding the truth ---I told my mom that Jennifer was born a male ----I dunno --I have mixed feelings on this major decision --
I just don't know -----Jennifer was upset the last time the subject came up ---and I dunno ---I finally did it ---
I guess my mother's reaction was/is as expected (then again --ANY reaction could be expected)
but I even said to my mom "you seem different toward me now"
she flat out said back "Lee --you ARE different now"
I dunno ---she isn't exactly being supportive ---in fact she said she is flat out embarassed --hurt --disgusted --and ashamed ----
I feel strange ---but I did it ---can't take it back ---
Re: I told my mother about Jennifer --
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamer
yup --after eight months of hiding the truth ---I told my mom that Jennifer was born a male ----I dunno --I have mixed feelings on this major decision --
I just don't know -----Jennifer was upset the last time the subject came up ---and I dunno ---I finally did it ---
I guess my mother's reaction was/is as expected (then again --ANY reaction could be expected)
but I even said to my mom "you seem different toward me now"
she flat out said back "Lee --you ARE different now"
I dunno ---she isn't exactly being supportive ---in fact she said she is flat out embarassed --hurt --disgusted --and ashamed ----
I feel strange ---but I did it ---can't take it back ---
Does she know that you outted her to your mom?
I'd be pissed...
Not as smooth as you think
Quote:
Originally Posted by LTR_Seeker
if it wasntneeded to be discussed if it was all running smooth & noting needed to be said then he obviosuly was right with it
I think you are getting the wrong idea. It wasent running all that smoothly. His mother and I have not met yet. She has only seen a picture of me. We have been dating 8 months and he has met all my family and friends. I understand he has less people in his life to come out to,and he has told one friend. His mother was the one who wanted to meet me so bad. Then when confronted with the truth, She snaps to judgement. I wasent told much about his mother , but what I was told I guess I made my own judgement myself. Every one gets their own judgment of someone when meeting or being talked about. the difference is I guess I think their really is good in everyone and the ability to learn and move foward. Well I think I need to stop now, been drinking at Sibus with Lee. We had a real good time. Shout out to Monica and Miss Coco. Kisses N hugs all.
Re: I told my mother about Jennifer --
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamer
yup --after eight months of hiding the truth ---I told my mom that Jennifer was born a male ----I dunno --I have mixed feelings on this major decision --
I just don't know -----Jennifer was upset the last time the subject came up ---and I dunno ---I finally did it ---
I guess my mother's reaction was/is as expected (then again --ANY reaction could be expected)
but I even said to my mom "you seem different toward me now"
she flat out said back "Lee --you ARE different now"
I dunno ---she isn't exactly being supportive ---in fact she said she is flat out embarassed --hurt --disgusted --and ashamed ----
I feel strange ---but I did it ---can't take it back ---
Well, you did a brave thing by telling your mother. It will probably work out for the best in the long run, but expect it to take time for her to process it and accept it. She will have to go through something called, “the five stages of grief”. It was coined by a psychologist named Elizabeth Kubler-Ross many years ago. It original applied just to someone dying, but people began to to it as applying to all kinds of traumatic events. Look it up on the net and see if you can apply to your mother’s reactions. She has a lot of things to think about, such as not having grandchildren. The first step is denial. She will blame the girlfriend and not see as a mutual situation. I think the third step is bargaining. Don’t be surprised if she offers you a rent free opportunity to move back home, (by yourself), or other enticements. The last step is acceptance. Each step varies according to the person. It could only take a few hours, to a few years. And some people never get past certain steps. Make sure you are open to answer any questions that she might have at any time as she works through her steps. Emphasize the positive by letting her know that you still love and respect her, and that is why you told her early. She probably will think that you should have told her even sooner, but don’t fall for that line of reasoning, as you could have possibly waited much longer.
You have taken a big step, and often the hardest things bring about the biggest rewards. Feel free to ask others for advice. You can contact me privately if you feel that I can be of any further assistance to you. I want to thank you for sharing, and I want you to realize that were all rooting for your relationship to work out.
Re: I told my mother about Jennifer --
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and I wanna thank you --yodajazz ---so many people around here are quick to be negative ----
yeah --my poor mother ---I mean --just how is she supposed to react? ------I've heard of the 5 stages ----I dunno though ---not only do I feel the difference in my mom toward me ---I feel a difference in me toward her -----kinda like I lost her ----lost her respect ----I dunno ---
I told my mom that she isn't the first mother to ever hear this kinda stuff --she didn't care ----I mean --no ---she didn't yell ---but she is definitely hurt --"a knife in her chest" -----it's just like ---my whole life --my mom has been 100% on my side --I dunno --
and now I wonder if I shoulkd have told her ---I even said to her "maybe I shouldn't have told you" ---and she was VERY quick to agree ------but what? --am I supposed to just keep on talking about Jennifer --and the things we do --the time we spend --the places we go ---and have them never meet? ----my mom WAS excited that I was excited about Jenn ---but now it's just gone --her excitement has instantly deflated --
I guess I kinda grew up in a strict roman catholic kinda family --like --kinda been afraid if my parents opinions and disappointment my whole life ----but even with this fear --it's never stopped me from doing what I do ----but this is different somehow ----or is it?
my mom said that my perception of reality has been altered ---she doesn't think I'll ever be with a genetic girl again --because I "fucked myself all up" ---maybe sh'e right ----
I mean --it's tough being with a tgirl ---all the inner turmoil --"should I be --shouldn't I be --but it's wrong" ---internal battles -----but the truth is --I love being with Jenn ---I hae shared things with her -that I never thoughtt I'd share with anyone ---I look at her and just melt ---I dunno ---and now my mom is all negative --and disgusted -----but's not keeping me away ---I've been over Jenn's house every night since I told her ----I like my place next to her -
I mean --how could I continue on with her --and keep her hidden --to me --THAT is unfair --and kinda selfish --to everyone --
