i am tired of explaining

i've brought this up before on this board and we didn't get anywhere...but here i am again repeating to you what has become a standard interaction for me with people outside the trans community.

my sister was in the city today and we had lunch. my family has always known of my sexuality and i've always introduced to them any trans women i was dating and serious about. they've also met many of my trans friends and we've all hung out together numerous times. they've always been supportive and i didn't think it was an issue. well, today, i learned that my sister was a little confused about who i am...sexually...and it became an issue.

the topic of my sexuality came up when my sister mentioned that my nieces and nephews has been texting each other back and forth lately about an interview i did where i discussed my sexual preference and my history in the trans community. apparently, they were confused as to my sexuality and when one of them asked their mother, my sister, she didn't know how to answer. she asked me.

SIS: "So, you're gay." (lol, i know, i know, i laughed too)

ME: "No. I experimented with men in the past when i was younger, but it wasn't for me. Never liked it."

SIS: "Then, you're bisexual."

ME: "No."

SIS: "You're not straight."

ME: "No."

(long pause)

SIS: "Then, what are you?"

ME: "There's no name for men like me."

SIS: "Nothing?"

ME: "Well, there are medical terms which are negative. There are terms used by some of the trans women which are negative. Some guys call themselves straight, others call themselves bi. But as for a definitive term...nothing. I've started calling myself transsexual. I think the term transsexual was misappropriated back in the day when they didn't understand too much...not that it has changed all that much out there. There's heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual which apply to sexuality, right? Trans is a bigger issue, not a sexual one. It's about the sex, who trans people are intrinsically, inside. It's not about sexuality. For me, it's about sexuality. It's my sexuality. So, if i liked women, I'd be heterosexual....men, homosexual...both men and women, bisexual...but transsexual...do you see what I'm saying?"

SIS: "So..."

ME: "Yeah. Exactly."


being open about who i am has led me to have zillion and conversations like this....and not just with family. business people, clergy, friends, acquaintances...the list goes on and on. oh, i could take the buddhist route and say, "it just is", but i think the world at large, society needs something more to hang their hat on. it's a fact that we, as human beings, communicate by words. we understand concepts through them. i'm just tired of explaining. i really am.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

ME: "Well, there are medical terms which are negative. There are terms used by some of the trans women which are negative.

---

OK, we trannys call you a tranny chaser. I got that. :wink: xoxo


But what is the medical term for guys that like trannys? I'm not sure if I know that.


.

Yeah exactly.

People need terms to tag on to you, to understand who you are.

They are pretty general terms and are wrong.

It's one of the main reasons most men are afraid to reveal their interest in trans women, they get tagged as gay, which is totally wrong.

I have a very close friend of mine, who would probably end our friendship if he realized the girls I am into.

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual. I never felt I was that at all.

Sorry if I'm using your thread to vent on. lol.

But I understand exactly what you mean.

why are we so stuck up with terms
what happen to human being

im tired of explaining too
your a sexual person that is not defined by any one term
kisses
DD

whatsupwithat:

If we can't seem to settle those issues here -- Here! --, what makes you think you'll succeed at defining them and settling them anywhere else?

I feel for you, my man. :(

good topic WUWT

A term a former GF gave me was "trans-attracted" male. At first I didnt get it, but over time it made sense. I know, simply based on the what I like, Im not by definition straight, but i also know for DAMN sure that Im not in anyway into guys passed the level of friendship and comradery.
My brother and close friends have seen my ts girlfriends, and they are confused as hell at what I consider myself. I think its really funny trying to explain it to people outside our small circle. Not much can convince people who arent here already of your position.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by StrangeAccentMAn

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual.

---

That's why so many TS girls lack respect for so many guys. They are unwilling to give the same commitment for their life as the girls have already done.

The girls have risked it all, very few men do. That's why when you have a (gorgeous) guy like Eric that is willing to put himself on the line for what he wants, the girls fall all over him.

Willing to live your life on your terms is one of the sexiest turn-ons a man can do.


.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueBeauty TS

Quote:

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Originally Posted by StrangeAccentMAn

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual.

---

That's why so many TS girls lack respect for so many guys. They are unwilling to give the same commitment for their life as the girls have already done.

The girls have risked it all, very few men do. That's why when you have a (gorgeous) guy like Eric that is willing to put himself on the line for what he wants, the girls fall all over him.

Willing to live your life on your terms is one of the sexiest turn-ons a man can do.


.

---

I haven't meet the right one yet, I suppose. I'm young I got time to prepare myself for such a commitment.

Good post, OP. That's the most well-thought-out and patient answer I've seen to date.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueBeauty TS

That's why when you have a (gorgeous) guy like Eric that is willing to put himself on the line for what he wants, the girls fall all over him.

---

mmmhm :wink:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dina Delicious

why are we so stuck up with terms
what happen to human being

im tired of explaining too
your a sexual person that is not defined by any one term
kisses
DD

---

i agree wholeheartedly. but the majority of people...probably 99.9% of them...need something, a word in order to categorize or make sense of something. that's an apple, that's a gay man, that's a trans woman, that's a...wait...what are you?

on a side note...miss you! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by StrangeAccentMAn

Yeah exactly.

People need terms to tag on to you, to understand who you are.

They are pretty general terms and are wrong.

It's one of the main reasons most men are afraid to reveal their interest in trans women, they get tagged as gay, which is totally wrong.

I have a very close friend of mine, who would probably end our friendship if he realized the girls I am into.

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual. I never felt I was that at all.

Sorry if I'm using your thread to vent on. lol.

But I understand exactly what you mean.

---

and i totally understand what you're saying. it would be easier on people if they could just grasp it and understand. and, unfortunately, that means having an easily identifiable term that defines something.

as for your friend, i lost a few because of who i am. i had to ask myself...were they really my friends, did they really accept me for me? the answer was, of course, no. in the end, they weren't the kind of friends i wanted anyways, you know what i mean?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Realgirls4me

whatsupwithat:

If we can't seem to settle those issues here -- Here! --, what makes you think you'll succeed at defining them and settling them anywhere else?

I feel for you, my man. :(

---

well...i don't know. but that won't stop me from trying! thank you. :)

Nice to see you again Eric. I'm sorry you've had to repeat that conversation, but your blessed that your family wants to accept and understand you, and pass that knowledge on to their children.

It says volumes about the quality of the people in your family. And those qualities are what you share with us.

Thanks for posting that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

Quote:

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Originally Posted by StrangeAccentMAn

Yeah exactly.

People need terms to tag on to you, to understand who you are.

They are pretty general terms and are wrong.

It's one of the main reasons most men are afraid to reveal their interest in trans women, they get tagged as gay, which is totally wrong.

I have a very close friend of mine, who would probably end our friendship if he realized the girls I am into.

It's pretty fucked up, I can't live the life I want to live with the woman I really want to be with at the risk of being shunned by family, friends and labeled a homosexual or bisexual. I never felt I was that at all.

Sorry if I'm using your thread to vent on. lol.

But I understand exactly what you mean.

---

and i totally understand what you're saying. it would be easier on people if they could just grasp it and understand. and, unfortunately, that means having an easily identifiable term that defines something.

as for your friend, i lost a few because of who i am. i had to ask myself...were they really my friends, did they really accept me for me? the answer was, of course, no. in the end, they weren't the kind of friends i wanted anyways, you know what i mean?

---

Yeah, I mean you run into a general situation, put aside if she's a trans women or a GG or whatever, In first view, I will look like I am choosing a woman over my friend and we have been through a lot together over the years. For me that's the major obstacle.

Put aside his close minded views on sexuality.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blckhaze

good topic WUWT

A term a former GF gave me was "trans-attracted" male. At first I didnt get it, but over time it made sense. I know, simply based on the what I like, Im not by definition straight, but i also know for DAMN sure that Im not in anyway into guys passed the level of friendship and comradery.
My brother and close friends have seen my ts girlfriends, and they are confused as hell at what I consider myself. I think its really funny trying to explain it to people outside our small circle. Not much can convince people who arent here already of your position.

---

yep. and therein lies the rub. all of us here understand each other 9most of the time), but we have to be able to communicate that understanding to the outside populace.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueBeauty TS

he girls have risked it all, very few men do. That's why when you have a (gorgeous) guy like Eric that is willing to put himself on the line for what he wants, the girls fall all over him.

.

---

oh really? girls falling over me? hahaha! hon, i wish that were the truth. last time i had a girl fall al over me was...was...ok, now i'm depressed.

but, honestly, even if it were true, it's not about that. it's about me being honest with myself and communicating that self to others in a way they can grasp. the community, all of us, would be better off if we could. i think, as someone mentioned before, it would make it easier for the men to come out and for the trans women to be less suspicious of their motives. it might even bring world peace! :P

Quote:

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Originally Posted by scroller

Good post, OP. That's the most well-thought-out and patient answer I've seen to date.

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thank you! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alyssa87

mmmhm :wink:

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well, hello! ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Oli

Nice to see you again Eric. I'm sorry you've had to repeat that conversation, but your blessed that your family wants to accept and understand you, and pass that knowledge on to their children.

It says volumes about the quality of the people in your family. And those qualities are what you share with us.

Thanks for posting that.

---

hey!! nice to see you, too! :)

thank you. i'm very touched by what you wrote. truly. thank you. it means a lot to have support here in the community. maybe there is hope for us yet. maybe? :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by StrangeAccentMAn

Yeah, I mean you run into a general situation, put aside if she's a trans women or a GG or whatever, In first view, I will look like I am choosing a woman over my friend and we have been through a lot together over the years. For me that's the major obstacle.

Put aside his close minded views on sexuality.

---

i understand and i don't intend to demean your feelings or friendship, but isn't that life? isn't that the age old story? two boys grow up together, are friends through life, one changes or meets someone and falls in love...and they grow apart. it hurts, yes, but it's part of growing up. we change. sometimes we choose to and other times, as in your case, the choice is already made for us. you didn't choose your sexuality. nor did i. so, my only advice to you would be to be true to yourself, because, in the end, you're all you got.

much peace to you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

i've brought this up before on this board and we didn't get anywhere...but here i am again repeating to you what has become a standard interaction for me with people outside the trans community.

my sister was in the city today and we had lunch. my family has always known of my sexuality and i've always introduced to them any trans women i was dating and serious about. they've also met many of my trans friends and we've all hung out together numerous times. they've always been supportive and i didn't think it was an issue. well, today, i learned that my sister was a little confused about who i am...sexually...and it became an issue.

the topic of my sexuality came up when my sister mentioned that my nieces and nephews has been texting each other back and forth lately about an interview i did where i discussed my sexual preference and my history in the trans community. apparently, they were confused as to my sexuality and when one of them asked their mother, my sister, she didn't know how to answer. she asked me.

SIS: "So, you're gay." (lol, i know, i know, i laughed too)

ME: "No. I experimented with men in the past when i was younger, but it wasn't for me. Never liked it."

SIS: "Then, you're bisexual."

ME: "No."

SIS: "You're not straight."

ME: "No."

(long pause)

SIS: "Then, what are you?"

ME: "There's no name for men like me."

SIS: "Nothing?"

ME: "Well, there are medical terms which are negative. There are terms used by some of the trans women which are negative. Some guys call themselves straight, others call themselves bi. But as for a definitive term...nothing. I've started calling myself transsexual. I think the term transsexual was misappropriated back in the day when they didn't understand too much...not that it has changed all that much out there. There's heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual which apply to sexuality, right? Trans is a bigger issue, not a sexual one. It's about the sex, who trans people are intrinsically, inside. It's not about sexuality. For me, it's about sexuality. It's my sexuality. So, if i liked women, I'd be heterosexual....men, homosexual...both men and women, bisexual...but transsexual...do you see what I'm saying?"

SIS: "So..."

ME: "Yeah. Exactly."


being open about who i am has led me to have zillion and conversations like this....and not just with family. business people, clergy, friends, acquaintances...the list goes on and on. oh, i could take the buddhist route and say, "it just is", but i think the world at large, society needs something more to hang their hat on. it's a fact that we, as human beings, communicate by words. we understand concepts through them. i'm just tired of explaining. i really am.

---

DOOOOD, you need to get laid.

Why do you set yourself up to get wound up by someone else's curiosity?

I think you take yourself way too seriously. Get a girlfriend and find a way to burn some of that pent up angst.

In the past when I became conscious of my attraction to transsexual women (let´s say, at the age of 16), I still considered myself straight. That went on for a couple of years. The reason might have been my fear that people could consider me as a gay man. I grew up in an environment where the term "gay" was used to make fun of people, insult them or to exlude them, which is the most painful action towards a human being.
But with time since I´m more informed and acclimated to the facts of my sexual preferences, I do not burden myself with categorical terms. It´s simply wrong and too bounded to explain. So, considering yourself as a "transsexual" is in fact bounding yourself, E, which you seem to fight! To be honest, this is inconsistent to me. Sexuality is not just the orientation but gender, too. This is were transsexualism finds itself. You´re using this term in the wrong context but I would never insist on convincing you that you´re totally wrong. This brings us again to a point that has been discussed a million times before: everyone should consider himself the way he wants and feels. If you say you´re gay, bi or straight, let it be. I for myself cannot say that I´m straight anymore. I´m just a sexual individual who loves T-girls and GGs and I don´t need to go further into theories. Some people like strawberry ice but not the strawberry in its original form, so do they like strawberry now or not? Makes no sense to discuss about that.
My sister is the only person to know about my desire for transsexual women but she never kept asking me "what I am", probably because I´m still the same Coroner and she still treats me as her "old straight brother".

Cheers and peace man.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vietboy

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

i've brought this up before on this board and we didn't get anywhere...but here i am again repeating to you what has become a standard interaction for me with people outside the trans community.

my sister was in the city today and we had lunch. my family has always known of my sexuality and i've always introduced to them any trans women i was dating and serious about. they've also met many of my trans friends and we've all hung out together numerous times. they've always been supportive and i didn't think it was an issue. well, today, i learned that my sister was a little confused about who i am...sexually...and it became an issue.

the topic of my sexuality came up when my sister mentioned that my nieces and nephews has been texting each other back and forth lately about an interview i did where i discussed my sexual preference and my history in the trans community. apparently, they were confused as to my sexuality and when one of them asked their mother, my sister, she didn't know how to answer. she asked me.

SIS: "So, you're gay." (lol, i know, i know, i laughed too)

ME: "No. I experimented with men in the past when i was younger, but it wasn't for me. Never liked it."

SIS: "Then, you're bisexual."

ME: "No."

SIS: "You're not straight."

ME: "No."

(long pause)

SIS: "Then, what are you?"

ME: "There's no name for men like me."

SIS: "Nothing?"

ME: "Well, there are medical terms which are negative. There are terms used by some of the trans women which are negative. Some guys call themselves straight, others call themselves bi. But as for a definitive term...nothing. I've started calling myself transsexual. I think the term transsexual was misappropriated back in the day when they didn't understand too much...not that it has changed all that much out there. There's heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual which apply to sexuality, right? Trans is a bigger issue, not a sexual one. It's about the sex, who trans people are intrinsically, inside. It's not about sexuality. For me, it's about sexuality. It's my sexuality. So, if i liked women, I'd be heterosexual....men, homosexual...both men and women, bisexual...but transsexual...do you see what I'm saying?"

SIS: "So..."

ME: "Yeah. Exactly."


being open about who i am has led me to have zillion and conversations like this....and not just with family. business people, clergy, friends, acquaintances...the list goes on and on. oh, i could take the buddhist route and say, "it just is", but i think the world at large, society needs something more to hang their hat on. it's a fact that we, as human beings, communicate by words. we understand concepts through them. i'm just tired of explaining. i really am.

---

DOOOOD, you need to get laid.

Why do you set yourself up to get wound up by someone else's curiosity?

I think you take yourself way too seriously. Get a girlfriend and find a way to burn some of that pent up angst.

---

ha! thanks, man. i appreciate the advice. ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vietboy

Get a girlfriend and find a way to burn some of that pent up angst.

---

ha! thanks, man. i appreciate the advice. ;)

---

he's right ya know

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Coroner

In the past when I became conscious of my attraction to transsexual women (let´s say, at the age of 16), I still considered myself straight. That went on for a couple of years. The reason might have been my fear that people could consider me as a gay man. I grew up in an environment where the term "gay" was used to make fun of people, insult them or to exlude them, which is the most painful action towards a human being.
But with time since I´m more informed and acclimated to the facts of my sexual preferences, I do not burden myself with categorical terms. It´s simply wrong and too bounded to explain. So, considering yourself as a "transsexual" is in fact bounding yourself, E, which you seem to fight! To be honest, this is inconsistent to me. Sexuality is not just the orientation but gender, too. This is were transsexualism finds itself. You´re using this term in the wrong context but I would never insist on convincing you that you´re totally wrong. This brings us again to a point that has been discussed a million times before: everyone should consider himself the way he wants and feels. If you say you´re gay, bi or straight, let it be. I for myself cannot say that I´m straight anymore. I´m just a sexual individual who loves T-girls and GGs and I don´t need to go further into theories. Some people like strawberry ice but not the strawberry in its original form, so do they like strawberry now or not? Makes no sense to discuss about that.
My sister is the only person to know about my desire for transsexual women but she never kept asking me "what I am", probably because I´m still the same Coroner and she still treats me as her "old straight brother".

Cheers and peace man.

---

hey old straight brother. good to see you.

great points! yes, sexuality is related to gender, but we're caught in this dualistic way of looking at it. who we are is outside of the normal precepts of society and gender and sexuality...and people cannot grasp it. it's almost like we need a stephen hawking of gender to appear and write a book on string bikini theory. :P

seriously, though, i am all for living as i be. but if you go back to what truebeauty said earlier...as well as others...this goes beyond the individual and our individual choices and preferences and ideas of how we label and see ourselves. it's actually all about community and cohesion and support and moving forward as one, under one umbrella, in a positive way. 'i am what i am' and 'we are what we are' just doesn't cut it when there's nothing for those outside of our community to pin it to. we might as well be ether.

btw, awesome about your sis. i may have painted a portrait of my sister that was a tad negative, but she really has been supportive. she just wants to understand...just like my nieces and nephews do. and they're not the only ones. i run across it all the time. it'd be great to give them clarity outside of rehashed buddhist sayings...that's all. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alyssa87

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vietboy

Get a girlfriend and find a way to burn some of that pent up angst.

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ha! thanks, man. i appreciate the advice. ;)

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he's right ya know

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great, now i'm blushing.

.....

how about the term: I'm just a guy who's into GGs and shemales?.

For example a guy like me. Yes I am comfortable being in relationships with GG women, but I just like the kink I get from feminine shemales. It's not really any term thats supposed to be that hard to see.

Does it matter what we are?. If people are into fucking a black prostitute with HIV and thats his thing behind the 4 walls of the house then let him do, if jerking off to hot feminine non masculine trannies are a guys thing let him do it. Im sure many of the guys who got prejudices against hot shemales is a closet case that likes jerking off to pics and vids when no one is around.

So final conclusion: Maybe we are a bit metro sexual in some way, but I wouldn't take it that far of being bi or gay.

Honestly who gives a damn what others think about anyone's sexual preferences....none of their business and at the end of the day the only person you have to face in the mirror is yourself,and if you can live with what stares back at you then you've got a leg up on many folks.

I came out to my friends and family long agao,I mean it is a bit hard to keep what I do a big secret,but to the point my father thinks that im gay because I date TS's and I told him..."Hey if that gets you through the day,then knock yourself out"...gay,straight,bi,tri, whattever....

And E, you know I mean that in the kindest of ways...peace

I've always believed that sexuality is not black or white, there are many shades of grey.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DJ_Asia

Honestly who gives a damn what others think about anyone's sexual preferences....none of their business and at the end of the day the only person you have to face in the mirror is yourself,and if you can live with what stares back at you then you've got a leg up on many folks.

I came out to my friends and family long agao,I mean it is a bit hard to keep what I do a big secret,but to the point my father thinks that im gay because I date TS's and I told him..."Hey if that gets you through the day,then knock yourself out"...gay,straight,bi,tri, whattever....

And E, you know I mean that in the kindest of ways...peace

---

hey dude!

i am sooooooo missing thailand right now! i am in desperate need of some frozen coconut and a foot massage on the beach. lol

anyways, i hear you. i also hear everyone else.

yes, i, personally am tired of explaining, but i can deal. but as i go through this thread and read the replies, i also see that in all of the answers there is the same message...no one knows what to call us and this leads to greater problems for more than just myself or anyone being tired of explaining who we are. it's about all of us in the community, not just the men.

case in point: if someone thinks i'm gay, then that, in fact, also mischaracterizes trans women and reinforces the mistaken belief that they are gay men n dresses...which is the farthest thing from the truth.

this goes beyond the partners of. we're all in this together. who we are in the eyes of the greater population directly relates to who everyone else in the community is in their eyes, as well. so, how do we form a cohesive group, a correctly identified group, with the societal and political muscle to make real change, not be x'ed out of bills like enda because, another case in point, because we are seen as human aberrations not as human beings.

so, yeah, as someone mentioned before, maybe i am taking myself and this a bit too seriously. i don't know. all i know is what i've seen other groups and communities do to make positive change...and gain credibility and 'acceptance' in the greater discourse. the men and women of this community are all individuals with different ways of looking at who we are, but until our message, our identifiers are on point and easily digested and understood, things won't change.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DJ_Asia

Honestly who gives a damn what others think about anyone's sexual preferences....none of their business and at the end of the day the only person you have to face in the mirror is yourself,and if you can live with what stares back at you then you've got a leg up on many folks.

I came out to my friends and family long agao,I mean it is a bit hard to keep what I do a big secret,but to the point my father thinks that im gay because I date TS's and I told him..."Hey if that gets you through the day,then knock yourself out"...gay,straight,bi,tri, whattever....

And E, you know I mean that in the kindest of ways...peace

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hey dude!

i am sooooooo missing thailand right now! i am in desperate need of some frozen coconut and a foot massage on the beach. lol

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Yeah compadre im missing the beach and coconut shakes too....been in Bangkok since forever shooting pix and having ladyboys jizz on my video camera's lens :lol: ....Off to Singapore in the AM,might check and see if there is any non Thai girls working The Tower.
Get yo azz back here I hear the Fish are spawning

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DC

I've always believed that sexuality is not black or white, there are many shades of grey.

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right. so, let me ask you a question. if there was a scale where one end was white (we'll say that's 100% homosexual) and one side was black (100% straight)...and everything inbetween was different shades of grey where does trans fit in? what i mean to say is that our thinking is based on dualities and these are absolutes in how we go about our lives. we are beyond that here. as justatransgirl said...we have "transcended" the dualities.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

case in point: if someone thinks i'm gay, then that, in fact, also mischaracterizes trans women

---

I'm not convinced this is true. There are some guys who are married to women, but whom everyone nonetheless identifies as "gay." They are gay because of their own demeanor... nothing to do with, and no reflection on, whom they are with. These men act "gay"... the mannerisms and inflections that might be unconscious but nonetheless real.

I can tell from listening to you that you are "gay" in this sense. Not to put you down, but your closest friends probably would all agree that you're a bit histrionic and that there is a certain amount of theatrics in your obsessions... take your post from last night which prompted all this. Your mind is not that of a straight man. I'm not at all trying to be pejorative of your nature, and I hope this is no surprise, as you yourself admit that you aren't straight.

But I suggest you stop obsessing about all this and find some inner peace because labels aren't worth all that energy. If you must choose a label, maybe you should consider other Greek roots... metamorphosis means "change in form" in Greek. Perhaps you could call yourself a metasexual or metamorphosexual, or if you want to get a little kinky, maybe mammophallosexual (mammo=boob, phallo=cock), or could it be kyrakourosexual (kyrakouros = ladyboy) or korandrosexual (kora=girly, andro=man) or gyneandrosexual (gyneandro=feminine man/shemale) or gynephallosexual (gyne=feminine, phallo=cock) or megaphallodaimonsexual (megaphallodaimon=hung-angel) ...

Laugh at the absurdity of it all! :)

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Originally Posted by vietboy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

case in point: if someone thinks i'm gay, then that, in fact, also mischaracterizes trans women

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I'm not convinced this is true. There are some guys who are married to women, but whom everyone nonetheless identifies as "gay." They are gay because of their own demeanor... nothing to do with, and no reflection on, whom they are with. These men act "gay"... the mannerisms and inflections that might be unconscious but nonetheless real.

I can tell from listening to you that you are "gay" in this sense. Not to put you down, but your closest friends probably would all agree that you're a bit histrionic and that there is a certain amount of theatrics in your obsessions... take your post from last night which prompted all this. Your mind is not that of a straight man. I'm not at all trying to be pejorative of your nature, and I hope this is no surprise, as you yourself admit that you aren't straight.

But I suggest you stop obsessing about all this and find some inner peace because labels aren't worth all that energy. If you must choose a label, maybe you should consider other Greek roots... metamorphosis means "change in form" in Greek. Perhaps you could call yourself a metasexual or metamorphosexual, or if you want to get a little kinky, maybe mammophallosexual (mammo=boob, phallo=cock), or could it be kyrakourosexual (kyrakouros = ladyboy) or korandrosexual (kora=girly, andro=man) or gyneandrosexual (gyneandro=feminine man/shemale) or gynephallosexual (gyne=feminine, phallo=cock) or megaphallodaimonsexual (megaphallodaimon=hung-angel) ...

Laugh at the absurdity of it all! :)

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you use a lot of big words and fancy prose to disguise a truly bigoted point of view

Good post whatsupwithat. You did a good job articulating the mislabeling of TS women. Actually taught me something in terms of how I might respond if I ever get spotted by a friend or co worker or something.


But I'll say this, family does muddy things up for many people. So, while you are blessed to have a supporting one, not everyone does, and One persons apple is in fact someone elses orange or lemon.....and those burn on contact.


Thank you for sharing, whatsupwithat.........very good, informing post here.

:2cent

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Originally Posted by flabbybody

you use a lot of big words and fancy prose to disguise a truly bigoted point of view

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I stipulate that certain behaviors exist that can be classified as "gay" and that there is nothing bigoted in saying so. Some dispute the existance of "gay" behaviors, just as some fire-breathing feminists dispute the existance of a sexual dichotomy.

I believe that I live in the real world though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vietboy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

case in point: if someone thinks i'm gay, then that, in fact, also mischaracterizes trans women

---

I'm not convinced this is true. There are some guys who are married to women, but whom everyone nonetheless identifies as "gay." They are gay because of their own demeanor... nothing to do with, and no reflection on, whom they are with. These men act "gay"... the mannerisms and inflections that might be unconscious but nonetheless real.

I can tell from listening to you that you are "gay" in this sense. Not to put you down, but your closest friends probably would all agree that you're a bit histrionic and that there is a certain amount of theatrics in your obsessions... take your post from last night which prompted all this. Your mind is not that of a straight man. I'm not at all trying to be pejorative of your nature, and I hope this is no surprise, as you yourself admit that you aren't straight.

---

This is funny. I think he just called you an internet sissy.

I know plenty of women who only date trans-men (FTM) and nobody calls them tranny- chasers (except for me, because I like to fuck with my friends).

You are not a Transsexual. Sorry.

Just be glad that you figured out what you liked before you got too old and bogged down to enjoy it, and let everyone else play catch-up.

xoxo
Mandy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vietboy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

case in point: if someone thinks i'm gay, then that, in fact, also mischaracterizes trans women

---

I'm not convinced this is true. There are some guys who are married to women, but whom everyone nonetheless identifies as "gay." They are gay because of their own demeanor... nothing to do with, and no reflection on, whom they are with. These men act "gay"... the mannerisms and inflections that might be unconscious but nonetheless real.

I can tell from listening to you that you are "gay" in this sense. Not to put you down, but your closest friends probably would all agree that you're a bit histrionic and that there is a certain amount of theatrics in your obsessions... take your post from last night which prompted all this. Your mind is not that of a straight man. I'm not at all trying to be pejorative of your nature, and I hope this is no surprise, as you yourself admit that yoaren't straight.

But I suggest you stop obsessing about all this and find some inner peace because labels aren't worth all that energy. If you must choose a label, maybe you should consider other Greek roots... metamorphosis means "change in form" in Greek. Perhaps you could call yourself a metasexual or metamorphosexual, or if you want to get a little kinky, maybe mammophallosexual (mammo=boob, phallo=cock), or could it be kyrakourosexual (kyrakouros = ladyboy) or korandrosexual (kora=girly, andro=man) or gyneandrosexual (gyneandro=feminine man/shemale) or gynephallosexual (gyne=feminine, phallo=cock) or megaphallodaimonsexual (megaphallodaimon=hung-angel) ...

Laugh at the absurdity of it all! :)

---

lol! :P

i wouldn't say your comments about me are pejorative, but they are highly subjective and flawed. and, wow, for someone so dead set on not labeling, you sure put a lot of time and effort into attempting to paint me as something...and that's even before you get to the little naming party in that last paragraph. but don't get me wrong, i appreciate the effort. must have taken you awhile to cobble that post together. :D

the be all and end all of it is that this isn't about me or you, individually. it's about all of us, ya know?

ps - still laughing...thank you.

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Originally Posted by tsmandy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vietboy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

case in point: if someone thinks i'm gay, then that, in fact, also mischaracterizes trans women

---

I'm not convinced this is true. There are some guys who are married to women, but whom everyone nonetheless identifies as "gay." They are gay because of their own demeanor... nothing to do with, and no reflection on, whom they are with. These men act "gay"... the mannerisms and inflections that might be unconscious but nonetheless real.

I can tell from listening to you that you are "gay" in this sense. Not to put you down, but your closest friends probably would all agree that you're a bit histrionic and that there is a certain amount of theatrics in your obsessions... take your post from last night which prompted all this. Your mind is not that of a straight man. I'm not at all trying to be pejorative of your nature, and I hope this is no surprise, as you yourself admit that you aren't straight.

---

This is funny. I think he just called you an internet sissy.

I know plenty of women who only date trans-men (FTM) and nobody calls them tranny- chasers (except for me, because I like to fuck with my friends).

You are not a Transsexual. Sorry.

Just be glad that you figured out what you liked before you got too old and bogged down to enjoy it, and let everyone else play catch-up.

xoxo
Mandy

---

i know, it's funny, isn't it? ha! i'm enjoying it.

the FTM community is a completely different entity, i think, than the MTF one. lots more support and openness from the lesbian community...and some of the girls i know, damn, they put the men to shame.

so, transsexual. why no in your mind? it's an old term handed out by the medical and psychological communities when they just didn't get it. they still don't (aka GID).

someone postd what i wrote on another board. one poster got it right in her explanation of TREES. as much as we hate labels, can you imagine having to explain the concept of tree over and over to someone? that's what i'm getting at.

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Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

being open about who i am has led me to have zillion and conversations like this....and not just with family. business people, clergy, friends, acquaintances...the list goes on and on. oh, i could take the buddhist route and say, "it just is", but i think the world at large, society needs something more to hang their hat on. it's a fact that we, as human beings, communicate by words. we understand concepts through them. i'm just tired of explaining. i really am.

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I am sorry I offend some of you when I call you fags, it is truly an endearing term to me, but when I say it to someone who I am pissed off at I truly mean they are acting like fags. You know... The shady queens who are bitter about life and have nothing better to do then spread attitude and hate.

Truth is... I admire your strength and more men should be like you. You are a truly deserving human being, living your life honestly. You are blessed and confident with who you are.

Every man and woman in this board and else where should aspire to your strength and devotion to living your life with your true self calling in your conscience.

I can keep going but you already know all this. I think a true man is one of strength, one who is true to himself and honest to those he loves.

No need to explain yourself, and if I did anything to upset you it truly was not meant for you... as you may know.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vietboy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by flabbybody

you use a lot of big words and fancy prose to disguise a truly bigoted point of view

---

I stipulate that certain behaviors exist that can be classified as "gay" and that there is nothing bigoted in saying so. Some dispute the existance of "gay" behaviors, just as some fire-breathing feminists dispute the existance of a sexual dichotomy.

I believe that I live in the real world though.

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which one?