Etiquette when talking to TS ladies

As a person who has had limited contact (that is, held a conversation, etc. As a New Yorker I'm sure I've ridden the train with several and have not known it) with shemales, I am more than a little unfamiliar with how to converse with one. I was hoping some of you awesome people would take the time to answer a few questions of mine:

For starters, what do you ladies really prefer to be called? No matter what I always think of a TS/Tranny/Shemale as female. I always think to myself "wow, she's hot" whenever I see a real beauty. But all the nicknames, terms, and abbreviations can get a bit confusing. Sometimes I see the abbreviated TS, sometimes tranny, and others shemale. I would like to know what the majority of you ladies prefer to be called because I'm all about respect and would like to refer to and address you in the way that you are most comfortable with.

Secondly -- and this is what drove me to make this post -- I was curious about how one goes about asking some rather personal questions when one is engaged in a conversation with a TS and it seems that things might escalate, resulting in the prospect of adjourning to a more intimate setting. What is the most respectful way to ask a TS if they're "post" or "pre"? Or is it not respectful at all? What about asking them if their "equipment" is functional? Or how well endowed they are? I can imagine some of you giggling at my naïveté, but you have to admit the process of courtship/propositioning regarding TSes differs -- if even slightly -- from that of the male-female process. For example, a man, conversing with a female in a club, would never (hopefully) ask her whether she's ocean wet or Sahara dry, whether her labia are flappy or discrete, or if she's shaved or boasting a landing strip. Obviously the nature of the conversation has a lot to do with what kind of information you get out of a person, but there's a difference between a candid conversation, flirting, and propositioning, and I would really like to know what the best way is to ask questions of this nature.

As always, thank you very much in advance for your replies.

-IWS

Don't use the term shemale.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by i_wuv_shemales

What is the most respectful way to ask a TS if they're "post" or "pre"? Or is it not respectful at all? What about asking them if their "equipment" is functional? Or how well endowed they are? I can imagine some of you giggling at my naïveté, but you have to admit the process of courtship/propositioning regarding TSes differs -- if even slightly -- from that of the male-female process. For example, a man, conversing with a female in a club, would never (hopefully) ask her whether she's ocean wet or Sahara dry, whether her labia are flappy or discrete, or if she's shaved or boasting a landing strip.

---

you pretty much answered yourself with the analogy with genetic girls. There's no "respectful way" to ask unless she brought the topic herself.

If her being hung and functional is that important to you, shell out $300 to an escort, and you'll have the right to ask. But if you're not interested into "just sex", then it really doesn't matter because you'll know soon enough should the answer ever matter to you...

you've answered your own question.
if you think something is too personal to ask a gg in a club, why would you think it's OK to ask a tg?

This question is asked in a manner that assumes transsexuals are some kind of creature that should be handled differently from regular human beings. Perhaps the best way to talk to a transsexual is the way you'd talk to someone of the opposite sex.

All good replies so far.....



.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NYCe

Don't use the term shemale.

---

or tranny


Frankly use common sense, and approach her with honesty. If all you want is a fuck, say so. you'd be surprised sometimes.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rvince

If her being hung and functional is that important to you, shell out $300 to an escort, and you'll have the right to ask. But if you're not interested into "just sex", then it really doesn't matter because you'll know soon enough should the answer ever matter to you...

---

See, that is VERY true and I wholeheartedly agree. But what about when it comes to Pre and Post-op shemales? I'm not a person who is just into these ladies for "fantasy" as discussed to death on these forums. I would love a relationship with one (not to be confused with freeloaderus secretus, I mean what I mean). And I am not a shallow person, though some may take what I am about to say as "shallow": Though I respect ALL trannies, I would prefer to be with a pre-op because that is my preference. When it comes to "normal" (and i hate to use that word, believe me) male-female relations, the anatomy of the opposite sex is well-known and there is no guesswork.

However, transsexuals come in two main varieties and for those who have a preference it can be difficult to discern between the two. Of course it is possible to fall in love with someone that may/may not have something you don't expect. It happens all the time. In the end, it's up to the individual to decide whether they will stay that way or let their hearts go free.

You helped answer my question and I thank you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by i_wuv_shemales

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rvince

If her being hung and functional is that important to you, shell out $300 to an escort, and you'll have the right to ask. But if you're not interested into "just sex", then it really doesn't matter because you'll know soon enough should the answer ever matter to you...

---

See, that is VERY true and I wholeheartedly agree. But what about when it comes to Pre and Post-op shemales? I'm not a person who is just into these ladies for "fantasy" as discussed to death on these forums. I would love a relationship with one (not to be confused with freeloaderus secretus, I mean what I mean). And I am not a shallow person, though some may take what I am about to say as "shallow": Though I respect ALL trannies, I would prefer to be with a pre-op because that is my preference. When it comes to "normal" (and i hate to use that word, believe me) male-female relations, the anatomy of the opposite sex is well-known and there is no guesswork.

However, transsexuals come in two main varieties and for those who have a preference it can be difficult to discern between the two. Of course it is possible to fall in love with someone that may/may not have something you don't expect. It happens all the time. In the end, it's up to the individual to decide whether they will stay that way or let their hearts go free.

You helped answer my question and I thank you.

---

Again you've answered your own question.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NYCe

Don't use the term shemale.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by blckhaze

or tranny

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ralph Lauren

This question is asked in a manner that assumes transsexuals are some kind of creature that should be handled differently from regular human beings.

---

I'm sorry, but I am still confused. First of all, some of you completely missed the fact that I have nothing but respect for these ladies so I'm NOT treating them like creatures. Nor did I say anywhere that all I want is sex. I had two questions, and one of them was to help myself understand what term these ladies prefer. That's all. Now one of you said don't use shemale. That's out. Then another says "don't use tranny". Ok. So why do I see these words used everywhere, from the very ladies themselves when they post about events or on flyers? It's all very confusing.

Also, I will not stand for someone twisting my words out to make it seem like I think these ladies are something other than human. So please don't try it. I have already said that I am new to this "world" so to speak, and I want to join it as a respectful admirer of these wonderdul ladies.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by i_wuv_shemales

Ok. So why do I see these words used everywhere, from the very ladies themselves when they post about events or on flyers? It's all very confusing.

---

Shemale, Tranny, Tgirls, hell Hungangels are all porn words/terms. They're pretty much only used for marketing purposes, not real life. You gotta go with what the people know and have come to expect.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NYCe

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by i_wuv_shemales

Ok. So why do I see these words used everywhere, from the very ladies themselves when they post about events or on flyers? It's all very confusing.

---

Shemale, Tranny, Tgirls, hell Hungangels are all porn words/terms. They're pretty much only used for marketing purposes, not real life. You gotta go with what the people know and have come to expect.

---

Ah. I totally get you now. So "ladies" then. Well, that's answered :wink:

Relax man, its just that rookies always post these types of questions on here, its just sometimes it comes across like they're after the secret password to get laid.

They're just human beings so all you have to do is treat them that way and as normal once you have someone's confidence that is when you can ask personal questions.

Shemale & tranny etc are porn terms. I've always been a fan of TG, TV, CD, GG & MM, if you have to bracket someone.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by i_wuv_shemales

Now one of you said don't use shemale. That's out. Then another says "don't use tranny". Ok. So why do I see these words used everywhere, from the very ladies themselves when they post about events or on flyers? It's all very confusing.

---

Talking ABOUT people is different than talking TO people. For example, if you are talking about African-Americans that's fine, but you wouldn't go up to someone and say "Hello, Mr. African-American!"

While TS girls may be classified at times as Trannys, Shemales, Chicks with dicks, etc.... if you ever approach one in public, you would be best served to use the "regular" terms of "she, her, female or girl".



.

Quote:

---

Also, I will not stand for someone twisting my words out to make it seem like I think these ladies are something other than human. So please don't try it.

---

Don't get your panties in a bunch (Especially here, where there are plenty that would be happy to do it for you). It was just an expressed opinion, something that we have an overabundance of on this forum. :)

Quote:

---

I have already said that I am new to this "world" so to speak, and I want to join it as a respectful admirer of these wonderdul ladies.

---

So far, you're doing just fine. Just remember to signal before you turn. :)

Quote:

---

Now one of you said don't use shemale. That's out. Then another says "don't use tranny". Ok. So why do I see these words used everywhere, from the very ladies themselves when they post about events or on flyers? It's all very confusing.

---

It's a community thing. 'Shemale' is pretty much a commercial porn term that the world-at-large uses to label a different gender that they have typically only seen in a porn environment (Note: I count Maury and Springer as 'porn environments').

'Tranny' is that thing in your car that shifts varying gear ratios to efficiently move the vehicle on its way, sometimes called a transaxle. :)

Within the community/enclave/clique/club of TS/TG variant people, you'll often hear the terms, but most often used by the TS/TG people themselves. A good example being that the late comedian, Richard Pryor could say the word 'nigger' a hundred times in front of an audience and people would laugh, but if Shrubya used the same word in a speech on the South Lawn there'd surely be riots in the streets. It's a matter of social context.

Lastly, a few folx have responded with variations of "You've answered your own question", so you already seem to have a pretty good handle on how to behave in this asylum. Good show out of the gate. :D

agree with True Beauty,

there isn't a respectfulway to ask a girl that...if I was asked that id immidietly think the guy just wants sex.

its great that you know who you are attracted to and what you "preffer". and it will be hard since you preffer a pre op ts, as opposed to a guy that doesn't have a "prefferece". and even harder will be to find a girl who is non op, which is what it seems you are looking for, if your trully wanting a REAL relationship. just because you meet a girl and she is pre op that doesn't mean she will always be, she might be planning to do it later on in her life and also a girl might be non op at the moment but later feel that she want to get srs.

but as allot of the people said its not a good question to ask...especially not in the beginning of getting to know her. and as everyone has statedyou answered you own question you wouldn't ask a gg if she has hanging lips so what makes you think ts are any different wen it comes to being treated with respect. if you think the " courtship" differce between a gg and a ts its only because you view us as different and its all in your head.

other things you might want to think about is whether your ready and not just a fantasy, since you haven't had any experince... gee now that im thinking about it since you think the courtship differs between a ts and gg I wonder what you think the relationship with a ts might be like?!? if you decide your not ready then search up an escort and pay her, don't make a girl that you haven't paid get her hopes high if all you want is sex.

TS is the most respectful i guess.
But if you’re kicking it, you shouldn’t say 'you’re a hot ts'. girl or young woman works best. 8)

[speaking for myself]
and if im interested or attracted to a guy, i tell him right off the bat that i have a penis in my panties (if i feel safe). just to clear the air.

Sooooo, if a girl seems reluctant to answer the sort of questions you deem important- i probably means youre not going to get anywhere with her anyway.
And since youre so nice and respectful, you'll step off politely.

And dont say
"Thats why you a fuckin man anyway!" as she walks away- I get that sometimes. GhettoTrash :roll:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Luna555

agree with True Beauty,

there isn't a respectfulway to ask a girl that...if I was asked that id immidietly think the guy just wants sex.

its great that you know who you are attracted to and what you "preffer". and it will be hard since you preffer a pre op ts, as opposed to a guy that doesn't have a "prefferece". and even harder will be to find a girl who is non op, which is what it seems you are looking for, if your trully wanting a REAL relationship. just because you meet a girl and she is pre op that doesn't mean she will always be, she might be planning to do it later on in her life and also a girl might be non op at the moment but later feel that she want to get srs.

but as allot of the people said its not a good question to ask...especially not in the beginning of getting to know her. and as everyone has statedyou answered you own question you wouldn't ask a gg if she has hanging lips so what makes you think ts are any different wen it comes to being treated with respect. if you think the " courtship" differce between a gg and a ts its only because you view us as different and its all in your head.

other things you might want to think about is whether your ready and not just a fantasy, since you haven't had any experince... gee now that im thinking about it since you think the courtship differs between a ts and gg I wonder what you think the relationship with a ts might be like?!? if you decide your not ready then search up an escort and pay her, don't make a girl that you haven't paid get her hopes high if all you want is sex.

---

What a reply. Thank you; I'll definitely take all this into consideration.

I usually refer to them as

"those who won't date me"

it has been appropriate in every single occasions so far

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Alyssa87

TS is the most respectful i guess.
But if you’re kicking it, you shouldn’t say 'you’re a hot ts'. girl or young woman works best. 8)

And since youre so nice and respectful, you'll step off politely.

And dont say
"Thats why you a fuckin man anyway!" as she walks away- I get that sometimes. GhettoTrash :roll:

---

yep I totally agree. that there is the most disrespectful thing ever.

Quote:

---

And dont say
"Thats why you a fuckin man anyway!" as she walks away- I get that sometimes. GhettoTrash

---

Thus proving that they are not worthy of you in the first place. :evil:

Luna's advice is good (BTW, haven't seen you posting lately, Luna, great to see you again and what a pretty new av, a favorite artist?), suggesting a test-drive of sorts with an escort. There have been guys that thought T's were the ultimate mate, but hit a wall when the rubber hit the road (As it were) and they couldn't wrap their mind around the reality that they were presented with. That's not good, and clearly unfair to the gurl, who may be just as desirous to be in a 'normal' relationship.

I'm happy to say that not all relationships with T-gurls are commercial and you can always throw your dice and hope for the best. I've met a couple who, though they were involved in commercial (Escort, porn, whatever) ventures, hung out with me in non-sexual, social venues. Will we ever become an 'item'? Not likely, but more from my own damaged past as from anything they might bring to the table. Yet, as friends, they are true treasures that I would never give up.

In the end, that's what counts.

I check out the site every once in a while, been busy. and thanks for the complemet on the new avatar...I paint and that painting was a gift I painted for my sisters birthday.

btw all I said was that you really need to think about what you are ready for there are lots of things to consider especially since you don't have any experience. B1 is right you might feel different

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Luna555

btw all I said was that you really need to think about what you are ready for there are lots of things to consider especially since you don't have any experience. B1 is right you might feel different

---

Heard and understood. Thank you :D

As far as asking a girl about her cock and what not, I don't go there. I find that they will often offer info about their cock or I'll feel it in some way, shape, form or fashion during the flirting.

Just walk up to a girl and without saying "hello" or anything like that, just blurt out "How big is it?". This must work because I see guys doing it all the time at the clubs.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Danny partridge

Just walk up to a girl and without saying "hello" or anything like that, just blurt out "How big is it?". This must work because I see guys doing it all the time at the clubs.

---

Yes, just do it like Crocodile Dundee... "just checking..." Of course usually t-girls in bars will just walk up to you and say "Hi, I have a 10 incher, how much money you got honey..."

Me - I'm just a "BoyGirl" part girl, part boy, part neither, part both!

Giggle,
TS Jamie :-)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by justatransgirl

Yes, just do it like Crocodile Dundee... "just checking..."

---

That part was HILARIOUS :lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by justatransgirl

Yes, just do it like Crocodile Dundee... "just checking..."

---

You mean that's not the best way?

Damn, explains a lot!

I treat them like any other woman in the street that I'm interested in...with respect. I don't even bring up the past when I'm talking to a lady, even if I know the truth. Now, if she brings it up first...I still treat her with respect.