GGs have the biggest issue with transsexuals

I started transition 13 years ago, lol wow it’s been a long time. Through the years I have come to the conclusion that genetic women are the ones who have the biggest issue with transsexuals. At least that has been my experience.

I went out last weekend for my sister’s birthday. It was myself, my sister, 6 other girls and 4 guys. We went out on the North Shore of Long Island, it’s a very vanilla yuppie crowd. I met a few guys and one of them I really liked. We hit it off and have been talking all week. He is exactly my type, perfect. He looks very GQ, 34, tall, Italian and Irish mix, great face and hot body. He has a great personality, comes from money and lives in a cute new 1.5 million dollar condo here on the Island. I am thinking husband material lol.

Now I don’t run around telling people my “T”. I feel that it is my business and unless I am about to go to bed with someone then I have no obligation to divulge it. People treat you differently when they know right off the bat rather than finding out down the road.

So I am all excited thinking I have met my future husband lol, now here is the catch. I know one of the bar tenders who works at the bar where I met him. I knew her when I was still living as boy. We worked together and actually used to be really good friends. We drifted apart and then I ran into her about 2 years ago after not seeing or speaking to her in 10 years, but that’s another story.

It turned out that my soon to be husband lol knew her also. One of his friends is a bartender at the bar also. Long story short, he went down there last night for a drink and then I got the 1AM phone call asking “is this true”.

I don’t know if I should verbally confront her, or I should wait for her when she is getting off work. I want to get all ghetto on her ass, throw my hair up, take my earrings off and rub Vaseline on my face lol.

I swear women feel threatened. They get all catty when you’re more attractive than them or you get more attention, they think “and she isn’t even a real girl”.

Mine too as of late. Even girl friends that I have had for years all of a sudden have gotten distant and bitchy with me. Two of my girlfriends invited me out to a club and when the guy she was feeling kept looking at me, she waited for me to be out of ear range to tell the guy thats a "dude" I only found out cause he walked up to me to tell me and said I think you should know your friend isn't a great friend she told me you were once a man and then he asked if that were "true" and I admitted to it. He sort of got that uncomfortable look but was cool about it.

When I walked up to her and confronted her about it, she was like omg what are you talking about I would never do that to you. Then when she knew she was caught she was like just cause you have big boobs now doesn't mean you need to wear cleavage shirts and shit..you are still technically a man and dressing like that you are giving the guys here the wrong impression about you. I was dumfounded cause we have always went to clubs together before and she never had an issue before. Now it was. Then it got into a debate of respect and I told her I only came cause they invited me and its dangerous going around telling guys at the bar about me. Then she got even a bigger attitude and she said "Well I can't help it I'm a "natural" woman and I can have kids, don't blame me." I laughed and called a taxi. I haven't spoken to either of them since.


And see thats just horrible that she outted you like that. If she was ever a friend, she'd worry about your safety first. Rather than being jealous.

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Originally Posted by KellyShore

Mine too as of late. Even girl friends that I have had for years all of a sudden have gotten distant and bitchy with me. Two of my girlfriends invited me out to a club and when the guy she was feeling kept looking at me, she waited for me to be out of ear range to tell the guy thats a "dude" I only found out cause he walked up to me to tell me and said I think you should know your friend isn't a great friend she told me you were once a man and then he asked if that were "true" and I admitted to it. He sort of got that uncomfortable look but was cool about it.

When I walked up to her and confronted her about it, she was like omg what are you talking about I would never do that to you. Then when she knew she was caught she was like just cause you have big boobs now doesn't mean you need to wear cleavage shirts and shit..you are still technically a man and dressing like that you are giving the guys here the wrong impression about you. I was dumfounded cause we have always went to clubs together before and she never had an issue before. Now it was. Then it got into a debate of respect and I told her I only came cause they invited me and its dangerous going around telling guys at the bar about me. Then she got even a bigger attitude and she said "Well I can't help it I'm a "natural" woman and I can have kids, don't blame me." I laughed and called a taxi. I haven't spoken to either of them since.

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Good for you, fuck her. They think its cute but for us it very dangerous. I have worked very hard to get to where I am today and hide a lot of my past. I go out in the same town I grew up in, I see guys I went to high school with all the time, I have even hooked up with a few who didnt know who I was, then I have this CUNT spilling my beans.

Julie,

Does that mean he chose not to keep seeing you? I think you are so beautiful. I want to spend time with you when you are in Westchester sometime, but I am an average guy (little extra weight but not sloppy) not a GQ type. Does this preclude me from your fruits....:) lol.....

Well.....since, at the moment, I feel like bein JUDGE WAPNER...



Julie, the bartender apparently was the guys friend, so, that being the case, she did the right thing.





Kelly, You need a new circle of friends.


lol





Case closed.

That sucks.

Sounds like some simmering issue with her. Did she maybe have a crush on you when you were friends as a boy? Maybe she's frustrated.

Either way, totally disrespectful to do. How did the future Mr Julie react? The way he found out undoubtedly colored his reaction to some degree. That might be the worst part. By "outing" you that way, it turns it into a deception situation, regardless of your intent.

Sorry.

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

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Originally Posted by KellyShore

Mine too as of late. Even girl friends that I have had for years all of a sudden have gotten distant and bitchy with me. Two of my girlfriends invited me out to a club and when the guy she was feeling kept looking at me, she waited for me to be out of ear range to tell the guy thats a "dude" I only found out cause he walked up to me to tell me and said I think you should know your friend isn't a great friend she told me you were once a man and then he asked if that were "true" and I admitted to it. He sort of got that uncomfortable look but was cool about it.

When I walked up to her and confronted her about it, she was like omg what are you talking about I would never do that to you. Then when she knew she was caught she was like just cause you have big boobs now doesn't mean you need to wear cleavage shirts and shit..you are still technically a man and dressing like that you are giving the guys here the wrong impression about you. I was dumfounded cause we have always went to clubs together before and she never had an issue before. Now it was. Then it got into a debate of respect and I told her I only came cause they invited me and its dangerous going around telling guys at the bar about me. Then she got even a bigger attitude and she said "Well I can't help it I'm a "natural" woman and I can have kids, don't blame me." I laughed and called a taxi. I haven't spoken to either of them since.

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Good for you, fuck her. They think its cute but for us it very dangerous. I have worked very hard to get to where I am today and hide a lot of my past. I go out in the same town I grew up in, I see guys I went to high school with all the time, I have even hooked up with a few who didnt know who I was, then I have this CUNT spilling my beans.

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Yeah girls are your friends and understand the situation till a man is involved. Then they show their true colors. Thats probably why most of my friends are men as of late. All my old girlfriends hardly speak to me anymore, I leave them comments on myspace, they don't respond. I send them text messages they don't respond, claim they've been busy.

But that girl is just awful, I hate when you meet a great guy, and they go out of their way to ruin it for you. They just don't get you are a WOMAN.

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Originally Posted by ARMANIXXX

Well.....since, at the moment, I feel like bein JUDGE WAPNER...



Julie, the bartender apparently was the guys friend, so, that being the case, she did the right thing.





Kelly, You need a new circle of friends.


lol





Case closed.

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I am working on that, I've deleted most of my girl friends from my life. Out of my phone, myspace, yadda yadda. Due to the attitude they have, they were fine with me till I started healing from the surgeries. Now their attitudes have totaly done a 360.

And I doubt she told him out of the goodness of his heart, if I was Julie. I'd wait around to see what guys she is interested in, then tell them a dirty secret "made-up or not" so she can see how it feels. When you really like a guy and have it ruined by someone else.

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Originally Posted by midpier

Julie,

Does that mean he chose not to keep seeing you? I think you are so beautiful. I want to spend time with you when you are in Westchester sometime, but I am an average guy (little extra weight but not sloppy) not a GQ type. Does this preclude me from your fruits....:) lol.....

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I like all kinds call me when I am in Westchester........kisses

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

I swear women feel threatened. They get all catty when you’re more attractive than them or you get more attention...

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It sounds like women are like that with any other women (T's or not). That's what all my female friends say.

GG's are that way period. It's why I only date tgirls. When a Man get's involved they show their true colors and usually turn jealous and bitchy.
By the way how do I use my pic as my avatar?

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Originally Posted by scroller

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

I swear women feel threatened. They get all catty when you’re more attractive than them or you get more attention...

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It sounds like women are like that with any other women (T's or not). That's what all my female friends say.

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That is true whenever some of my girl friends used to see a beautiful girl with a nice body and she was wearing something provacative, they automatically called her a whore and a slut, and would gab about her 15 minutes. I just rolled my eyes and went on having fun.

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Originally Posted by ARMANIXXX

Well.....since, at the moment, I feel like bein JUDGE WAPNER...



Julie, the bartender apparently was the guys friend, so, that being the case, she did the right thing.





Kelly, You need a new circle of friends.


lol





Case closed.

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She didnt do the right thing. I have been in the situation of guys not knowing many many many times. I know more about it then you or her. I have a way that I handle it. What she did is dangerous for me. So what are my options, sit home or go to tranny bars? Cause if word gets around I will not be able to go to the same places.

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Originally Posted by doasuwill

GG's are that way period. It's why I only date tgirls. When a Man get's involved they show their true colors and usually turn jealous and bitchy.
By the way how do I use my pic as my avatar?

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Hit profile and put the url in the place where you want it to be. You can use photobucket or imagecave

Just let it go,violence really doesn't solve anything it will any get you in trouble.

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

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Originally Posted by ARMANIXXX

Well.....since, at the moment, I feel like bein JUDGE WAPNER...



Julie, the bartender apparently was the guys friend, so, that being the case, she did the right thing.





Kelly, You need a new circle of friends.


lol





Case closed.

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She didnt do the right thing. I have been in the situation of guys not knowing many many many times. I know more about it then you or her. I have a way that I handle it. What she did is dangerous for me. So what are my options, sit home or go to tranny bars? Cause if word gets around I will not be able to go to the same places.

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Yeah she wasn't doing it out of the goodness out of her heart, she was doing it to be a bitch. "How dare she hook up with this good looking of a guy that has something to offer." She had something on you and used it. Probably hoping he'd like her more.

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Originally Posted by doasuwill

GG's are that way period. It's why I only date tgirls. When a Man get's involved they show their true colors and usually turn jealous and bitchy.
By the way how do I use my pic as my avatar?

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__________________________________________________ ____________________




Boy........



You are so in for a shock.............



And how.

LOL

;)

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Originally Posted by KellyShore

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

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Originally Posted by ARMANIXXX

Well.....since, at the moment, I feel like bein JUDGE WAPNER...



Julie, the bartender apparently was the guys friend, so, that being the case, she did the right thing.





Kelly, You need a new circle of friends.


lol





Case closed.

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She didnt do the right thing. I have been in the situation of guys not knowing many many many times. I know more about it then you or her. I have a way that I handle it. What she did is dangerous for me. So what are my options, sit home or go to tranny bars? Cause if word gets around I will not be able to go to the same places.

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Yeah she wasn't doing it out of the goodness out of her heart, she was doing it to be a bitch. "How dare she hook up with this good looking of a guy that has something to offer." She had something on you and used it. Probably hoping he'd like her more.

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Ya shes got something on me, but I got something on her also. I was born a boy and can beat the shit out of her like no woman can lol.

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

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Originally Posted by KellyShore

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

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Originally Posted by ARMANIXXX

Well.....since, at the moment, I feel like bein JUDGE WAPNER...



Julie, the bartender apparently was the guys friend, so, that being the case, she did the right thing.





Kelly, You need a new circle of friends.


lol





Case closed.

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She didnt do the right thing. I have been in the situation of guys not knowing many many many times. I know more about it then you or her. I have a way that I handle it. What she did is dangerous for me. So what are my options, sit home or go to tranny bars? Cause if word gets around I will not be able to go to the same places.

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Yeah she wasn't doing it out of the goodness out of her heart, she was doing it to be a bitch. "How dare she hook up with this good looking of a guy that has something to offer." She had something on you and used it. Probably hoping he'd like her more.

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Ya shes got something on me, but I got something on her also. I was born a boy and can beat the shit out of her like on woman can lol.

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:lol: :lol:

However I'd just leave it alone, if you are worried she is going to spread it around even more. To the places you go now. No reason to make it even more known.

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Originally Posted by KellyShore

However I'd just leave it alone, if you are worried she is going to spread it around even more. To the places you go now. No reason to make it even more known.

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I have to at least have to say something and put her in her place, or she will think she can do it again.

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

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Originally Posted by KellyShore

However I'd just leave it alone, if you are worried she is going to spread it around even more. To the places you go now. No reason to make it even more known.

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I have to at least have to say something and put her in her place, or she will think she can do it again.

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Yep I can see that side of it too! These situations are always so delicate, thats when I most despise being a transwoman.

Who thinks that T girls should tell guys right away?

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

She didnt do the right thing. I have been in the situation of guys not knowing many many many times. I know more about it then you or her. I have a way that I handle it. What she did is dangerous for me. So what are my options, sit home or go to tranny bars? Cause if word gets around I will not be able to go to the same places.

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__________________________________________________ _____________________



I don't really want to pretend as if I'm an expert in your endeavor Julie, because obviously, I'm not.

But I do have some expertise in another.

So I'll try an explain in analogy as best I can.......


When I got out of high school, a couple years after actually, I got my first sales job selling cars. I was doing really well, I was selling a car a day at one point. But in California, you need a sales license to sell cars. I had some minor transgressions, like fighting.....little shit like that. Basically, I fought store security because I was trying to steal a bottle of liquor out of a store........Misdemeanor. I never lied on the DMV application where it asks, "Have you ever been convicted of any crime including misdemeanors", I simply left it blank. I was convicted of battery

Long story short, I lost that job because the DMV wouldn't give me my sales license because they said I wasn't being forthright and honest.


I went back to school and it worked out in the end and yada yada yada, but I had time to think about it, and the basic gist,

Not only was I being a violent thief at the time of the incident.............

But I was exposed a liar as well.



Was a life lesson I learned.



Good luck Julie.

As someone who shares a flat with three screaming, infighting, crying biatches, I can honestly say that women are deceitful above all things, especially with their female 'friends'. I don't envy you. Try not to get violent though.

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Originally Posted by ARMANIXXX

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

She didnt do the right thing. I have been in the situation of guys not knowing many many many times. I know more about it then you or her. I have a way that I handle it. What she did is dangerous for me. So what are my options, sit home or go to tranny bars? Cause if word gets around I will not be able to go to the same places.

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__________________________________________________ _____________________



I don't really want to pretend as if I'm an expert in your endeavor Julie, because obviously, I'm not.

But I do have some expertise in another.

So I'll try an explain in analogy as best I can.......


When I got out of high school, a couple years after actually, I got my first sales job selling cars. I was doing really well, I was selling a car a day at one point. But in California, you need a sales license to sell cars. I had some minor transgressions, like fighting.....little shit like that. Basically, I fought store security because I was trying to steal a bottle of liquor out of a store........Misdemeanor. I never lied on the DMV application where it asks, "Have you ever been convicted of any crime including misdemeanors", I simply left it blank. I was convicted of battery

Long story short, I lost that job because the DMV wouldn't give me my sales license because they said I wasn't being forthright and honest.


I went back to school and it worked out in the end and yada yada yada, but I had time to think about it, and the basic gist,

Not only was I being a violent thief at the time of the incident.............

But I was exposed a liar as well.



Was a life lesson I learned.



Good luck Julie.

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I understand ur point but what she did could cause me danger, and thats where my BIG problem lies.

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

Who thinks that T girls should tell guys right away?

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Aren't you putting yourself in danger when you don't tell them?

It's hard for a transsexual woman to find a good looking guy thats going somewhere to live their life with. I don't think it's lying or misrepresenting myself acting how I act ALL THE TIME - A woman. If I was sucking his dick or fucking him and covering my T thats different, but talking to a guy and getting to know him, why should it come into play?

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Originally Posted by Legend

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

Who thinks that T girls should tell guys right away?

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Aren't you putting yourself in danger when you don't tell them?

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There's danger every day you walk out your door and interact with anyone as a transsexual or women or man.

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Originally Posted by Legend

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

Who thinks that T girls should tell guys right away?

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Aren't you putting yourself in danger when you don't tell them?

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Lets see this scenario, he walks up to me in the bar and says hi and I respond with "Hello my name is Julie, its nice to meet you. Oh BTW I am packing a strong 7 incher, so tell me about yourself"

You know it is clearly evident by your posts that you are a sweetheart. I will look you up when your in town next. Thanks for being sweet doll.

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

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Originally Posted by Legend

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

Who thinks that T girls should tell guys right away?

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Aren't you putting yourself in danger when you don't tell them?

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Lets see this scenario, he walks up to me in the bar and says hi and I respond with "Hello my name is Julie, its nice to meet you. Oh BTW I am packing a strong 7 incher, so tell me about yourself"

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:lol: :lol:

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

Who thinks that T girls should tell guys right away?

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Well, I believe you sort of alluded to "your way of doing things." I'm sure lots of guys have lots of different opinions, but in the end, only your opinion really counts, and it's backed up by 13 years of experience. Best-o-luck, Julie.

By the way, your future husband, whomever that may be, will he be known as Mr. Julie? 8)

I don't think it is necessary to tell the guy when you first meet him. You are just getting to know each other. If it were me I would just want to be told before things got romantic. And by romantic I don't mean sex, I mean making out etc. It sounds like that is what most of the women here do.

Telling someone right away almost always just gets in the way. But a guy needs to be told soon, but you don't want to "lead him on". It's fucking tricky. I hate it.

On a related note:

GG’s who are feminists often have even deeper issues with us. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m a feminist myself. That’s just a corollary of my belief that the laws of the land should be gender symmetric.) I’ve been told by feminist GG’s that transgender women are dragging the culture backwards. That we over emphasize the importance of secondary sexual characteristics, cosmetics, clothing and feminine mannerisms. They claim we affirm all societal roles expectations they are out to destroy. I’ve been told, “Why can’t you be a woman without taking hormones or changing your body? Why do you have to be a woman to make love to a man?” Some woman just seem unable and unwilling to understand our unique predicament. I don’t think they really believe in gender dysphoria. We’re just a aberration that stands in contradiction to their political ideals and they’d rather we just didn’t exist. I’m not accusing all feminist GG’s of this, but I’ve met a significant proportion.

When I moved back in with my roommate, I had decided to be more out about my trans stuff and the third-gender thing. But she'd always laugh and tell me I was such a girl because she assumed I was biologically female. A couple times she even said, "You're a girl, you have a 'vajayjay'!" (then I'd laugh at her for being a 19/20yo who says "vajayjay" ^_^). When I would get depressed, she'd comfort me. I'd go through all the things I hated about my body and she'd justify each one of them, telling me I was beautiful. We even had a couple of interesting sensual experiences.

Well, then she found out I was born male and we had a conversation about the whole thing and I was open with her. But now she's always like, "You're such a guy!", "You're not a real girl!", "Sorry but you're not invited, just the girls."

Yesterday, she was showing me her new clothes and said, "I'd make you try on my shoes but I know they won't fit" (she's a 6), "you have such man feet". Then she was going on about how I relate to her boyfriend better than her and that's because we're both men (or it's because she's abrasive and he's laid-back and cool, and I like him). Then she was like, "Why don't you want to be a boy?" and I said, "What? What do you mean? Why don't you want to be a boy?" "Because I'm not a boy." "Exactly."

The whole way she related to me changed since she found out I was TS. Now instead of getting to spend girl time together shopping or watching stupid chick flicks and talk, she never wants to hang out with me and I don't really want to hang out with her because she always has to make disparaging comments.

She prides herself on being up-front and speaking her mind to people but a lot of times she just comes off as a bitch. Her mother-in-law-to-be hates that about her and I told her that I don't think she's evil or cruel or anything, she just can grate on people sometimes.

There's a reason I don't tell people I'm trans, the entire way they relate to you changes and most of the time it gets worse. My mom said over Christmas that she kept trying to pressure me not to be gay/trans or at least not tell anyone, while I was in middle school and high school (she started laying it on me about the gay thing while I was in 8th grade) because it's so hard to go through high school anyway. What she didn't realize, of course, is that I would have been a million times more well-adjusted if she had listened to me and worked with me on it rather than just fighting me about it all the time. Of course, she had to deal with my dad and his inability to accept me being different too.

My mom worries about violence towards me because I'm trans. She said it was especially because the time when I was coming out was soon after Matthew Shephard was all over the news. So she kept trying to keep me in the closet, I always thought it was because she was embarassed of me. Now, 8-9 years later, she says it was because she feared for me (reality is probably both). She said the world is cruel enough to straight people. But all that happened was that I became a danger to myself and kept having to go through therapy to deal with depression and such without addressing the actual issue.

I told her that I'm better off now than before transition because then I was just a fem gay boy (who occasionally passed but not regularly) and much more subject to violence than now. Now I just make sure people don't find out. No, she doesn't like the fact that I'll go out with guys without telling them but I promised her that I was careful. I just don't want to have it well-known in town that I'm trans. We already have a town tranny, she's awesome, pretty, artistic and doesn't seem to mind that everyone knows she's trans, but that's not me. I already had to spend high school as a freak, I didn't want my college experience to be the same.

So yeah, I get tired of the bullshit. I have enough emotional problems about my body and gender without having supposed friends point them out to me constantly. God knows how many of her friends she's told too. She loves to talk about people behind their backs. I'm sure she talks about me too.

I thought I was together enough now to be more open about being trans. I thought I could trust certain people. I can't. (Some) women are still backstabbing bitches.


(sorry for the long rant, had to get a couple things off my chest)

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Originally Posted by trish

Telling someone right away almost always just gets in the way. But a guy needs to be told soon, but you don't want to "lead him on". It's fucking tricky. I hate it.

On a related note:

GG’s who are feminists often have even deeper issues with us. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m a feminist myself. That’s just a corollary of my belief that the laws of the land should be gender symmetric.) I’ve been told by feminist GG’s that transgender women are dragging the culture backwards. That we over emphasize the importance of secondary sexual characteristics, cosmetics, clothing and feminine mannerisms. They claim we affirm all societal roles expectations they are out to destroy. I’ve been told, “Why can’t you be a woman without taking hormones or changing your body? Why do you have to be a woman to make love to a man?” Some woman just seem unable and unwilling to understand our unique predicament. I don’t think they really believe in gender dysphoria. We’re just a aberration that stands in contradiction to their political ideals and they’d rather we just didn’t exist. I’m not accusing all feminist GG’s of this, but I’ve met a significant proportion.

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I have had mixed reviews from lesbians also. Entertaining, many lesbians tell me they hate drag queens, but feel differently about me, cause they don't think I am mocking what a woman is about. I elude the sexuality of a woman on stage, I don't put loads of make up on so it looks scary, and I present and act like a lady all the time. Then I have had other lesbians tell me they think I'm a bitch and gross. So I guess it really just depends on the female.

See Julie,

I re-read what you said and, here's where I feel where you might consider a change in philosophy:

Now I don’t run around telling people my “T”. I feel that it is my business and unless I am about to go to bed with someone then I have no obligation to divulge it. People treat you differently when they know right off the bat rather than finding out down the road.




The way you wrote this, and the way if my memory serves me correctly, you prefer to "tell someone", basically only when necessary and/or at the last minute.......basically, put it off for as long as possible.

Hey, again I'm no expert in this, and I don't know when you should tell, but instead of working hard to hide and conceal,that sort of mindset/tendancy I mean, Perhaps you might try hard to bring it forth and expose yourself, as early as possible........philosophically speaking.

That guy, who was exposed to your secret by the bartender, he probably isn't gonna see you anymore, if for no other reason than embarrassment by others.

Had you told him, had you had the chance, say like the day before..........You and him could probably have had a chance.

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Originally Posted by NYTSJulie

I swear women feel threatened. They get all catty when you’re more attractive than them or you get more attention, they think “and she isn’t even a real girl”.

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It's not threat, more like confusion. GG's always see Transsexuals as men "trying" to be women, not women born as men. The so called issue you sense from GG's is hatred towards men (which- if you read my definition: includes TS's). We have respect for what y'all is trying to do- but it's still; unfortunately according to us, men hitting on one another.

I personally like dating guys that aren't in the "scene" of the transsexual world. Only, because they don't make you being a transsexual an issue at least in the dating area. Guys that know you are a transsexual tend to treat you differently in my experience. I've dated both.