A response to a female's perspective written in Men's Health
I found this on another website I was browsing, it kinda tied in to threads Hara & I put up last week, so I figured it would be a good read
Response to 50 Things She Wishes You Knew
By Klashbash
Refuting: Lisa Jones, Mens Health
My Opening Statement
Women have an appetite for erratic reasoning. They want equal rights without the negative ones. How about they pay half of the meal? Equality right? They want to be treated like a princess but god forbid they extend the "anything for you" courtesy. As this snobbish "the world revolves around me" list illustrates; you have to buy her off and treat her like an idol before she'll throw you a bone.
#1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.
If the relationship is romantic isn't the act "making love"?
#2. Real men drive stick shift.
A real man utilizes what he feels is the most efficient way of doing things.
#3. I will leave if you lie.
You would go off on a tangent if we did the same. You hypocrite.
#4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
This is nothing more than a personal preference. This is invalid towards your approach of universal truths for all females.
#5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
A woman admitting that she is irrational? I'm glad you can be honest for once.
#6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
No you don't. You love being treated like shit in a relationship and blowing off all the nice guys. Your statement is nothing more than an ego stroke. You're acting like you want to be with a compassionate, loving guy. Reality shows a trend completely contrary to this claim.
#7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
Then stop asking every five minutes.
#8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.
Now I know you're a liar.
#9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
You mean you're a hypocrite? It's the surprise of the century.
#10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
You're an attention whore.
#11. I expect you to call me.
If you want to talk so bad how about you be the one to call me?
#12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
Fashion Nazi.
#13. I'm scared of losing my independence.
Then don't get in a relationship.
#14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.
Liar. Women engrain past faults of their lovers into their minds. You do not hesitate using these memories as a guilt trip to the slightest provocation.
#15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
If satisfying your hormones is a way to get back on your good side then you're a slut. Plain and simple.
#16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)
See directly above? I see #3 in conflict with this one. You're a liar and a hypocrite. You expect us to be honest but you can lie away. Then you get mad when we trust that you were telling the truth about being cool with it. You're a scumbag. An open and honest relationship is a relationship that flourishes. Yet your actions indicate that you would rather there be confusion. You get pissed that we aren't mind readers and that "we don't get it". You can take your lying ass somewhere else whore.
#17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want.
You would be willing to use sex as a toy for blackmail? You don't know anything about morality do you?
#18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.
Shoes are meant to protect the feet. If you buy shoes to be fashionable you're a tool. Not to mention if I bought expensive shoes and wore hobo clothes, you wouldn't call me fashionable.
#19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.
And I'm not afraid to leave. The activities couples do together are supposed to be mutually beneficiary. Shoving things down my throat is only going to piss me off and hamper the relationship.
#20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
Want me to say nothing? Then don't speak it. Speaking invites feedback. Especially if what you say is so stupid that it deserves a brutal reply.
#21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
Attention whore. Stuck up snob. The world doesn't revolve around you. What the hell happened to equal treatment bitch?
#22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
It's not surprising that you can't explain why. You're irrational.
#23. You should never tell me what to do.
Yet what is this list you made? Telling me what to do. You deserve a curb stomp.
#24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.
It should be a mutual treat for any couple. Nobody owes you shit. You arrogant selfish douche bag.
#25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
I think the reason you're telling us that is because you're a skank.
#26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
Yeah right, liar. You're not willing to date someone poor, friendly or unfashionable. Stop with the charade of pretending to be a decent human being.
#27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.
I would be the one really impressed. With seeing as how I would stoop so low as to ask you for help.
#28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
Yet you want us to ask you for advice? Your hypocrisy is outstanding.
#29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
I should be able to wear whatever I feel comfortable with and for you to see past thread. It has to do with loving someone for who they are. You dig?
#30. I want to be Madonna.
…
#31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.
Yet you want us to go down on you a lot in accordance to #15. You want to appear like you care about our health but show us that you really don't give a damn. Well fuck you.
#32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
It's too bad relationships can't be as simple as that. But in reality you cut your sentence short. You meant to say "I'm in heaven when you hold my hand and pull out your wallet with the other."
#33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
This is nothing more than your own personal preference. No universal truth here. Next.
#34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
You meant: "I need to hear you tell me how great I am all the damn time. Very often. Tell me every five seconds." You're an insecure attention whore just like all other women. You're a leecher. You're a parasite. Get the fuck out of my face.
#35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
Why is the relationship all about you?
#36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you and for you to recognize this.
But of course you would never treat us vice versa. You can take your snobbish attitude and shove it up your ass.
#37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....
Cheating whore. I can't believe you would say this while getting riled up about a man lying in #3.
#38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.
So why do women always talk about their ex?
#39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
No you don't. You want me to be a liar and just say I'm thinking about you. Blow off whore. I'm not going the same route you do.
#40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
Why may I ask? So you don't have to get anything for me. You don't know how bad I just want give you a nice pounding to the face. I want to make your outside look like your inside, wench.
#41. I love it when you're sweaty.
But of course you're not willing to be athletic for us. How about a little give and take for once?
#42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
What if you're the only girl in my life? A guy can't win with or without girl pals. If I have gal pals a girlfriend will be jealous but if I don't she'll think I'm a loser. I have to ask though. Why would you want a gift that wasn't my own idea? That wasn't from my heart? Oh yeah, because you're nothing but a gold digger. Cunt.
#43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
Why not the same for us?
#44. I like porn.
Don't get pissed if we watch it then.
#45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
Why? No really. You can't exactly do what the guy can do to you with the butt.
#46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
Yeah that's because "nice girls" are nothing but sluts too.
#47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
Yet it's a-okay if women go ahead and look for love elsewhere as pointed out in #37. You slimy bitch.
#48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
Don't fucking cheat on us then.
#49. I remember everything about our relationship.
So much for forgiveness. Go swallow a big load. It's the only thing you're good for.
#50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.
Yeah because men are all mind readers huh? You're a joke.
Final Statement
If we played the same game that women played on us; we all know how angry they would be. Hypocrites. If other men could control their hormones like I can, women would be nothing. But we've acted like idiots and let egotistics such as Lisa Jones control our lives. We need to take a stand and not take these double standards. Romantic relationships should be a benefit to all those involved and not a blow all your money for the female deal it is now. Fuck the Westernized "liberated" female. I want a society with "golden rule" females that truly crave for equality. I want there to be intelligent, thoughtful women that cannot expect what they are not doing themselves. The feminist movement is a some are more equal than others philosophy. Don't let them win.
