STEALTH !

Stealthhttp://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2...h20fighter.jpg

are you flying under the radar? http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2...lthcurious.jpg

How open are you?

Is it on a need to know basis?

Does everyone know, are you self-outted?

Guys, girls what are the advantages / disadvantages
of a lady being stealth?




In the context of male-to-female transsexual women,
"passing" means that when you meet someone, they
accept you without any reservations as a women.


But "passing" comes in various degrees, for example it might
mean that you walk in pubic without being identified as man;
another significant stage is called "stealth" where acquaintances,
work colleagues and even a circle of friends are unaware of your
male background; and finally there's "deep stealth", where you
totally live your life as a woman and very close friends and even
your husband are unaware that you are a transwoman.

How deep are you?

All I'll say is that if I were married, and my wife did not let me know that she is a t-lady, I would feel highly disappointed that she did not feel she could trust me enough with such intimate information, and that she did not love me enough to let me know about her. After all, once we're married we're supposed to be intimate on all levels. And if I loved her before I knew she was a t-lady, I would still love her just as much.

even though i spent yesterday running around doing errands for work, not wearing any makeup at all (lazy girl that i am) and dressed in pants and my big down parka everyone who addressed me always used Miss.

at the same time i consider myself totally self outed. i have no interest in "fooling" anyone as such. i am living my life openly because i feel that if you have no secrets, then no-one has anything on you.

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Don't wanna hi-jack your thread,but I have a question and I think this is a good time to ask: How negative is "stealth" when it comes to health care? I mean if you get in an accident and wake it in a hospital, is it a big deal when people perceive you as one thing and find out otherwise? If you go see a doctor (maybe a walk in urgent care type place) for something minor, do you disclose your status? If you're post-op, how necessary is it that care givers know this? Just curious.

Today it is very hard to go stealth. With 9-11 and the computer age it is very hard to hide your past. Stealth is not just passing, it is creating a new identity, and not just 99 percent of the time but 100 percent of the time. Doing away with family and friends and your entire life before. A personal friend of mine Leslie Townsend was stealth for many years. She has a book "Hidden in Plain Sight", she was not happy and we arent much of friends anymore. She is a little bit crazy and I think the lack of family and normality in someones life can make them go crazy, just my 2 cents lo.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by wendy48088

Thank you Alison for explaining your experiences and perspective on stealth.

One thing that seems different from your perspective: It might be a bit different over in the British Isles, but over here I think it's pretty hard to get a government I.D. with an "F" as a gender marker unless you are are post-Op.
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This actually depends on where you are as each state operates differently and there are no federal guidelines for gender change. In the state of Oregon I had to go before a judge to change my name and gender. I had to wait about an hour as a line of women changed their maiden names to their husbands names, and when it was my turn, the judge required no letter from a surgeon, involved no discussion, and graciously made no mention of my previous name and gender (even though she stated other name changes full previous names and full changed names).

However, to change my birth certificate is a little more complicated. Having the name and gender change order from the superior court will count to have my name changed, but I need to provide a letter from my surgeon (who is currently very much unreachable) saying I had surgery. So... for the last 4 years I have had no birth certificate or passport. Having a female drivers license has sufficed in most cases. However, not having a female birth certificate or passport has had its consequences. I don't qualify for bank accounts and I'm stuck in the USA.

As for the issue of Stealth. I don't immediately announce to everyone I meet "Hello my name is Mandy and in case you cannot tell from my stunning good looks and my towering height, I'm a transexual, look here's my cock to prove it". But, I have nothing to hide. And I've long lived by a philosophy that goes as follows:

Ways to approach ones own transness in relation to others:
A. Hide it, and if discovered by friends or acquaintances be apologetic.
B. Not discuss it, but if asked be forthcoming
C. Not discuss it, but when I trust someone, I generally just announce it very bluntly at random moments.

I generally stick with B and C

For instance this summer I was talking with a friends boyfriend I had met recently and we were discussing a small town in rural WA. He was telling me about how scary it was for a gay man like himself, and I responded by telling him that I had my balls cut off in a barn there. The "oh my god you're a tranny and I didn't even know look" is absolutely priceless when you are in control of its onset.

I know someone very successful at it... foolin' everyone but a select few, one of the lucky ones being me....

When I read about stealth being the mythical holy grail, I just have to chuckle......