I won´t laugh at you, I think your thaughts are interesting. I just don´t agree with them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Coroner
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I won´t laugh at you, I think your thaughts are interesting. I just don´t agree with them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Coroner
By the strictest medical terms, a transexual is a person whom believes they were born/are the wrong sex. That is to say they identify (on a sliding scale), with being the opposite gender of what they were born.
When the term/diagnosis was "made up" it had to be made clear that such persons abhored their natural physical being and wished to be made into the other. This was the only way doctors could legally and ethically justify removing healthy and working body parts such as penis for no other reason than the patient wished it so.
Over the past 40 or so years since Harry Benjamin did his work on transexuals, entire sub-groups have developed, and the entire term "transexual" has changed, at least perhaps on the street to encompas a wide scope of persons, including transvestites and drag queens. For there are many, many persons of the later two category that will take hormones and or have certian operations done to enhance a feminine appearance, but have absolutely NO intention of having a sex change operation, nor consider themselves "women" even a minority of time.
Now, trannies and the men who love them can call things what they like; but there are still only two types of sex in nature, gay and straight. You can dress up pre-op TS sex in a corset and stockings, and it still would be considered having sex with a male by medical standards.
Under the "old" theory, a true TS didn't like their sexual parts for the most part, and or were at least uncomfortable (again along a sliding scale), with using them for sexual pleasure. However today there is a sub-set of persons who consider themselves true transexuals, but have no intention of having any sort of operation, yet still wish to be come as feminine in looks as possible. Some enjoy and use their sexual organs, others do not (again along a sliding scale).
This is where the gap between some transexuals and the men who love them comes up. Time and again you have seen posted here that there are girls who don't want men who are "gay" or into their "male" parts, or for that matter are too comfortable with them being TS. Instead they prefer "straight" men who are not "into" transexuals, or at least were'nt until they met them, and consider them as "st8" women.
On the male side, you have men who seek transexuals of varying degrees, for various reasons. Many of those reasons mimic some found in the gay male sex world. Their are "tops" only, "bottoms" only. Men who will perform oral on a TS, those that will only receive. Men that consider themselves "straight", yet still engage in passive oral and anal sex with a male pre-op.
As for dating transexuals being a "fetish", guess that depends on how the particular man feels about transexuals in not only in realtion to sex,but romantically as well.
Sadly the Western world does not recongise transexuals as a third sex, and bases sexuality (again on a sliding scale) of a person's sexuality a majority of the time. A st8 man who engages in gay sex because he is in prison or at war, is not considered "gay" because his main choice would be a woman if circumstances were different. However men being a horny lot in general, he takes what is on offer at the moment. A man dating a transexual, depending upon the sexual acts by the strictest of terms is considered engaging in male gay sex, again regardless of what they and the TS tell themselves. This I think is one of the reason's why many girls get kind of ticked off when they meet guys who are interested mainly in touching and using their "male" body parts. Here you have what appears to be a girl, and in some cases a VERY attractive girl, who considers herself (or is trying to), a woman. Now you have man who is outwardly attracted to the same person because they appear to be an attractive woman, but have a penis.
Having lived as a girl for some time now, can honestly say think the "problem" with the TS community, including those who are attracted to/love them is this profound discomfort many on each side have with themselves and what they are seeking. Cannot count anymore how many times I've had to listen a trannie gf wail about not having a man, then BAM! She meets a guy who has it all: looks, job, personality, body, or even if he is just a decent normal guy, it follows almost as night after day that within a few weeks the phone calls start. "Girl, I can't take him anymore, all he wants to do is .... or ....." Or I'll hear she is seeing other men/turning dates behind the guy's back , and so it goes.
From the guys one hears "I just want a girl (transexual) who is happy with what she has and comfortable using it)..
Personally, I think unless one is planning on living in some uptight community or is a public figure that needs to conform to something, just drop the labels and be happy with whomever or whatever gives you joy, long as it is legal.
that's fine but you should know that when you disagree with facts you are either misinformed or in denial.Quote:
Originally Posted by Coroner
does it matter what label someone gives you?
as long as you know what you are yourself and are happy with that,never mind what anyone else thinks.
i know it can be hard to ignore,but you will always get someone who will try to bring you down,just ignore it and love yourself.
I'm skipping far ahead on this one because I have scragged yet another laptop with an XP update and have therefore missed two daze worth of posts.
However...
Based on the few posts I've caught up on, I relate this story:
I knew a couple (She: Lesbian, he: open-minded) some years ago who were fairly active in the gay rights movement (Which, in and of itself, is too limiting in its title).
After a press conference in Virginia, a reporter approached the woman and asked some questions pertaining to her sexuality. During the nterview, she pointed out that though she was dyke, she was alo married. The reporter assumed "To another woman?" and, pointing across the room, she said "No, to that man, there!".
Intrigued, the reporter approached her spouse and said "So, you are married to that woman? You're heterosexual then?". My friend replied, "No!".
The reporter, quite sure of themselves, then said "Oh, of course! You're bisexual!", to which my friend replied "Nope!".
Confused, the reporter asked "Then...You're homosexual?". To which my friend replied "No, I'm just sexual!" and walked over to join his wife.
Throughout history people have equated gender with sexuality and vice-versa. While it might behoove some to try and educate the masses, there is really only one person that you need to convince of the differences and defintions.
That is yourself.
Here's an interesting article I came across today, from an address given by Christine Burns in 1997 entitled Woman Plus Or how to forget the label and concentrate on the quality of the cloth. She writes:
and goes on to say:Quote:
It started with a discussion that is hardly new, about the semantics of the term "transsexual" … the effects of its’ common usage as a noun rather than an adjective, the confusion and misunderstanding caused by the root word "sexual" which it is based on, and whether or not the prefix "trans" makes the word meaningful, even as an adjective, after the completion of an individual’s physical journey from one anatomical model to the other.
Very interesting; you can read the entire address here.Quote:
For some people, this gets dressed up as an argument about technical semantics … questions of whether the prefix "trans" is appropriate when you’ve stopped, or whether "sexual" means the whole word is etymologically flawed from the outset.
I'm a bit late. Some good comments have been made.
How about this - "If it floats your boat and feels good - DO IT!"
We spend too much time trying to define and label each other and not enough time accepting ourselves and educating others about us.
Shining Star - good comments and so true. It's hard for many t-girls to maintain long term relationships.
Does anyone have any figures on if this changes after SRS? Meaning do post-ops enjoy longer relationships more in line with GG's?
And why is it that so many men who want to have sex with us, but are afraid to be seen in public with us? (And I'm referring to "passable" t-girls, not someone who's going to cause stares.)
Huh?
TS Jamie :-)
In Austria, a person is classified as transsexual after the psychiatrist confirms it. After that, the medical insurance pays all the surgeries the person undergoes. This means that a transsexual person is recognized as being in the wrong body and gets the support to look outside the way it feels inside. Science has broken the societal rules a long time ago and you can´t compare the position of science from about 50 years ago to it´s present position.Quote:
Originally Posted by SmashysmashY
Sex-Lexis gives "transfan" as "A person sympathetic or attracted to transgendered people," but while this is to me preferrable to "tranny chaser" and other derogatory terms, it still falls well short of the mark.
I've been looking for a prefix with the same meaning as trans- but so far without success.
To all the posters saying, forget the labels, be who you are, etc...I have and am doing that. And while the quip about being "sexual" is all witty and whatnot, it's more of a quip than anything real the person has decided for themselves.
My point in all of this is that there is no positive term that defines men who are attracted to, accept, and support transsexuals. I put myself out on alimb in this thread to get to the bottom of it. And what am I finding? More of the same old, same old. Saying it's a fetish, derision thrown at the men who are attracted by transsexuals, and so on. It's almost like an internalized transphobia. We get that from the rest of the world, why do we have to get it from the very same community we're part of. I'm proud of who I am. I'm not a serial dater. I'm not married. I'm not in the closet. I only enter into monogamous relationships. I don't cheat. i don't chase. I'm involved in the community. I'm trying to make a difference in the community through my work. I'm not fixated on the penis, or sucking, or being a bottom, or being a top. I just don't get what the problem is with me and who I am and others like me.
DISCLAMER: I'm tired, they're starting construction in my bathroom tomorrow, and i'm in a shiatty mood from hearing the same things again and again for 20 odd years now. And people wonder why nothing changes? This thread is a perfect example of why. Holy shiat...when did I get so bitter? :)
Thanks for continuing the search, Ecstatic.