LMAO! Queen Bella. Funny shit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Odelay
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LMAO! Queen Bella. Funny shit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Odelay
Yeah, it was mean.
well at least, she's real.Quote:
Originally Posted by nysprod
No worries, i'm strong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Odelay
I prefer not to fight back. We have enough problems in our real life, no need of more drama.
Let Bella sit on her computer waiting for $20, and some of us start making our millions lol
go to bed now, i've just had great sex with sexy stud.
I'm happy.
good night
Quote:
Originally Posted by tsmirandameadows
Just a thought about environment, try to keep a clean place and some fresh cut flowers. Little things like lavender and rose scents can help lift your spirits when you feel depressed or anxious.
Make it a point to get out every day for a walk and enjoy the weather, rain or sun. Jump in a puddle on the sidewalk like a kid and laugh.
Sometimes it is the little things that can make all the difference.
Watch what you eat as well. The chemicals in foods can have different effects so try to keep a healthy diet as well.
This is pretty much what she said to provoke my comment in the first place, but nobody seems to care about that, huh? Fucking internet white knights. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by asianphoenixx
~BB~
It's not white knighting...you sisters have to learn to support each other even with the flaws...we all have them anyway so get over it.Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaBellucci
We don't have to do shit. And nobody's my sister unless I say they are. I support who I want to support, and I'll be damned before I'll let you dictate who my friends should be.Quote:
Originally Posted by nysprod
So yes. When you first agree with me and then magically change your mind about it while a bunch of noobs downrate my posts after others show support, it's most absolutely, positively:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lFqt7QzMIG...lored_4350.jpg
Have a great weekend. :lol:
~BB~
I changed my mind because Tia's story was one I've heard numerous times before...about being thrown out at a young age by your family, being alone, on the street, not knowing what to do...and then I was disappointed in myself for saying something negative to her when she had said nothing to me...I felt bad about it really.Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaBellucci
And thanks, I am...have a great weekend yourself.
Most of us girls have had shitty pasts...
I'm sure...I also know 2 girls who have had strong family support...not that I want to generalize but they seem to be more social, which is understandable...even Foxxy, if you look at her IG she's always posting pics hanging with the fam and lots of friends.Quote:
Originally Posted by EvaCassini
I appreciate that sentiment, but I could tell you stories about my childhood that could make your hair turn white, too. How does that change anything in this thread? :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by nysprod
~BB~
Very entertaining thread so far 9/10
Morning!Quote:
Originally Posted by dderek123
I have to agree, it is indeed very interesting.
I don't take anything personally easily, including Bella's comments, unless the attack is malicious.
If she is happy to mock me, i'm happy to mock her back too, that's all.
From various comments, we actually can learn about our lives here in this thread.
For those, who believe in good faith, no matter how hard our life is, we have to believe that we can be successful.
I have already mentioned it before, the key is determination and courage.
I've had hard time in my life. You name it: being raped, being in jail, being abandoned, dumped, hit by a car....
But I'm still here: sexy, positive, horny, and optimistic lol:dancing:
let's close this bad mouthing episode.
Instead, let's continue our hope for the better future.
Never give up!!
Brrr...It's cold in Portland....time to have my warm breakfast:)
Idk about changing anything in this thread...I know how I want to change certain aspects about the way I conduct myself, that's about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaBellucci
As I said before, clinical depression has nothing to do with the actual situation you are in, how well off you are, your prospects, your courage or determination. It's a mental problem that needs to be sorted professionally first... So this thread is now just an occasion for bickering (to put it mildly) and is going nowhere!
How entertaining it may be, the background is still someone's misfortune....
Ok, ok, I'll be your friend Bella. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaBellucci
443070]
How entertaining it may be, the background is still someone's misfortune....[/QUOTE]
It is not her misfortune, it is her challenge.
When i got hit by a car last year, the doctor told me that i might be limping.
I don't want to be limping, so i tried super hard not to.
Depression is curable, she is blessed being in USA. What Miranda needs is determination and courage, and we are here to support her
Actually, you are mistaken there...unfortunately, depression and associated disorders (bi polar, mood disorders, anxiety, etc.) are not really curable allthough in many cases they can be managed with meds and therapy to various degrees of success.Quote:
Originally Posted by asianphoenixx
But it's a battle though.
Technically is not the same, but i see it as the same thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by nysprod
As tgirls, we have to take hormones for the entire of our life. Not a big deal.
Similar case Here. It is not a battle, it's a challenge
Indeed. That is a big reason why I have felt as frustrated and as hopeless as I have of late. To have my mood crash YET AGAIN and have much of my progress wiped out YET ANOTHER TIME is deeply discouraging. Certainly over the past week, my distressed state has led to me burning a bridge or two, and losing at least one important friendship. Not to mention it was my collapsing mood which led me to turn around from LA, wasting seed money which I didn't have to waste. How many more times am I going to start making progress only to have it fall apart when my mood no longer holds?Quote:
Originally Posted by nysprod
Like you say there is no cure for this. In fact, psychiatry is still so limited that these "disorders" are really just labels for clusters of symptoms, as opposed to a disease with an identifiable and testable aetiology which can be addressed through medicine. Since these disorders are just symptom clusters, diagnosis boils down to an educated guess based upon what a patient reports, and then treatment consists of trying different medications which, for not fully understood reasons, help some people, to some degree, with some of the symptoms which the patient is reporting. In effect, it's like getting a pain killer for a dislocated shoulder: the pain is reduced to manageable levels, but until the shoulder is put back in the socket, the pain isn't going to go away. Mood disorders are the sameway except no one knows how to put the metaphorical joint back in the socket: all that can be done is to prescribe meds which sometimes make things more manageable.
That's discouraging especially in light of the 2 steps forward, 3 steps back pattern which has characterized my life.
Miranda - yes you have been battling thru a number of peaks and valleys. It could be that you are making progress - like 3 forward, 2 back. I think you are making progress but I understand your frustration. Good luck and be brave.Quote:
Originally Posted by tsmirandameadows
I'm not an expert with regards to this Miranda.
But, don't be discouraged easily.
The doctor told me, i had 60 per cent chance of becoming limping. I said no, i won't be.
Courage and determination are extremely important
That I will definitely agree with...the mind is a powerful thing...the placebo effect is testament to that.Quote:
Originally Posted by asianphoenixx
so just to be clear since i am on vacation and missed the last 13 pages...
Miranda is alive and posting (i knew that bc i was texting her lol)
Kelly Shore is full of shit (we all knew that)
Asian Phoenix is apparently a millionaire hooker in toronto (well alrighty then)
did I miss anything?
For those interested in the power of the mind, one therapy for depression is cognitive therapy, pioneered by Aaron Beck. I read his book the cognitive therapy of depression and it is very informative. However, when I tried to put it into practice I found it was like pushing a boulder up a hill.
I understand that depression is characterized by persistent negative bias in the way we process information. But I am not sure that's the cause (a symptom to be sure), and cognitive re-framing did not provide a cure for me.
Anyhow, it's important to find a good mental health practitioner. Bipolar II is very difficult to treat but that just means it's all the more important to find someone you trust. There are a lot of medicines, if you are interested, that are used to treat the type of intractable depression someone in the depressed phase of bipolar disorder faces.
Whereas in bipolar I, the use of anti-depressants is controversial because it's not known whether it increases cycling, I do think doctors use them more liberally in bipolar II. There are also mood stabilizers with anti-depressant properties.
Anyhow, I know Miranda did not ask for recommendations on medicine. But I did want to re-assert something about depression: determination has nothing to do with it. When you are depressed you have absolutely no inertia. Getting out of bed is difficult, your interest in people is nil, your hope for the future (whether it's reality based or not) is not there. There are little routines that can help functioning in my experience but nothing that makes these feelings disappear altogether.
I have to say that I was very distressed when reading the first posts of this thread. Having read Miranda's past posts in other threads, I have always thought of her as being very intelligent and insightful, as well as pleasing to the eye. I was very glad to see her posting again. Very good insight into the presentation of depression and associative disorders with analogy to the physical (dislocated shoulder). I believe that broncofan had some excellent advice...find a good mental health practitioner-someone you can trust. Also, Miranda, find an outlet- a friend, support group, post on HA- there are many here who I believe were genuinely concerned, even though a few seemed to post self-serving drivel. Please be well!
knowledgeable, though it's a little skeptical at the end.Quote:
Originally Posted by broncofan
there are 3 points you mentioned that are actually very important:
1.Power of mind
2.Finding a good mental health practitioner
3.Recommendation of medicine.
I personally emphasize point 1, as the most important thing, the rest will follow
Well it's not!Quote:
Originally Posted by asianphoenixx
Do not compare what is not comparable...
Good. Because I wasn't being malicious. I see a real problem with many trans people where they feel entitled to flaunt their 'self-esteem.' The problem with that is: if you have to flaunt it, you're usually overcompensating and not trying to convince just others of it, but also yourself. Therefore, you probably don't have a full grasp on it yet. True self-confidence is quiet, as in 'walk softly, but carry a big stick.'Quote:
Originally Posted by asianphoenixx
So relax! If you're truly happy with yourself, then the only one who should have to know that is you. :)
I totally understand that I can be hard on people, but its usually because 'nice' doesn't get my messages across, so please, don't ignore them.
Fair enough. I did mention that the men around here should be more understanding. As I said, I appreciate your sentiment; it's just that on the same token, most of the girls here have been through hell, so choosing one over another under these circumstances is counterproductive.Quote:
Originally Posted by nysprod
More friends! YAYZ! Friend request accepted. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by bigkid69
~BB~
I think your math skills are a little 'Rusty.' :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Rusty Eldora
2 - 3 = -1
And Miranda, I hope you find consistent progress. You have everything necessary. Sometimes it just comes down to luck, and that's a matter of timing. It's no reflection on your value as a person. Just please keep that in mind and it might make the valleys a little easier to traverse.
~BB~
Oh, and one more thing about CBT and mood elevators: they only work if you are interested in achieving a certain level of cognitive dissonance. I'm sorry, but in might opinion, the latter takes your shit sandwich and tries to make you happy with eating the portions of the bread that have not had contact with the shit, and the former changes your mood whether you want it to or not, leading to denial. That said, I've always preferred a temporary escape and attitude reset to living in constant delusion which can be taken advantage of by others.
Take enough Prozac and people can dump all over you and you won't feel a thing... but that doesn't protect you; it simply makes it more difficult to get upset, and to take appropriate action, providing countless opportunities for others use you, and leading to a situation in which a person can never go two steps forward, and then another two steps forward.
'Go ahead and take from (so-and-so). They don't seem to mind.'
~BB~
I understand what you're saying. Although the most popular form of therapy for mood disorders has been cognitive-behavioral therapy, I was only ever interested in the cognitive dimension.
The concept behind cognitive therapy is to take unrealistically negative schemas that the depressed person believes are objectively based, and re-frame them by trying to understand how they deviate from reality. It involves engaging in a constant dialogue wherein the person asks themselves whether what they are saying to themselves is necessarily true or a belief filtered through the prism of their depression.
And some people taking SSRIs do experience something akin to emotional blunting, but not everybody. If the result of taking the medicine is emotional blunting, it is important to discuss that with a doctor, because that can be a side-effect. But often the long-term effect of being treated for depression is not that you are able to simply tolerate abuse and not see it as such, but that you can continue to function even when you are facing adverse circumstances.
great!Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaBellucci
I've been waiting for your answer Bella, and i'm glad all of us have come to a good term now.
It's partly my fault. I didn't understand Miranda's problem precisely at the beginning. I thought she had a nervous breakdown, but later i realized it's much more serious than that.
Misunderstanding happens sometimes.
Remember, i'm coming from a completely different background, carrying different value and norms than most of you guys here.
The way I encourage people might be perceived as bragging. Trust me, i don't intend to brag.
We are ALL here to support Miranda. Full stop
Unfortunately, i don't have any knowledge with regards to this subject, except my mental support.
I guess. we have to encourage Boncofan to speak and explain more about it
Quote:
Originally Posted by broncofan
Thanks for the info.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't understand completely what you try to explain.
But my full understanding is not really important.
I personally think, we have to encourage Miranda sharing her progress daily, then some people, like yourself, can give her, hopefully a better advice?
Thanks Asianphoenixx. I read my last post and I want to be careful to state that I am talking only about things that CAN be helpful for depression and that have been helpful for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by asianphoenixx
I don't want anyone to think I am saying ssris (or other psychiatric medicines) will always work or are always warranted. I am saying that they can be very helpful for people and it's important for anyone struggling with a mood disorder to find a good doctor to let them know if their use is warranted.
Medicines almost always have side effects. As Bella said, you may find that you don't like some of their effects and so you have to discuss with a doctor whether they are helpful on balance. I have taken medicines before and ended up having the following conversation with my doctor where I said, "yes this medicine is helping my depression but I feel it is causing cognitive slowing. I simply will not take it." And the result was that we ended up trying something different.
I am only trying to say that with a competent, trustworthy, and helpful medical professional you can find treatments that will improve quality of life whether that involves various forms of therapy or medicine.
great point.Quote:
Originally Posted by broncofan
Since i know nothing about this issue, i just have to highlight your point, so our discussion will be more focused, geared to solving the problem.
Now, we are waiting for Miranda response
c'mon girl...speak to us:)
Now that things have calmed down a little, there are a couple of things that I would like to add. First, broncofan, I like what you've posted about depression, but a quick correction about this phrase...
BF, you have the definition of inertia reversed. When you are depressed you have all inertia. The physics definition is: a property of matter by which it continues in its existing state of rest unless that state is changed by an external force.Quote:
Originally Posted by broncofan
Please don't take this as criticism because it's an easy one to get reversed. I do it all the time with some words. Like I never remember if "non-plused" is a state of calm or a state of frustration.
And actually the term inertia is what I wanted to comment on. Inertia was the killer for me during a couple of long episodic bouts of depression. After the first bout, I got diagnosed, did the SSRI drug thing, did the cognitive therapy thing, but ultimately the only thing that got me out of it was to just keep moving, literally. Went through a series of shitty temp jobs but it was good because it forced me out of the house. Just navigating the local bus system to get to the jobs was a nightmare, when I was in that state.
The one thing I can say I got out of cognitive therapy is that after all the tedious analysis of my negative thoughts, etc., I finally made it very simple for myself. If I'm active, I'm okay. If I'm experiencing a thought that pushes me to a state of inactivity, then that's not okay. Was a gamer before depression, haven't gamed since. Never cooked a meal before depression, now I cook about twice a week. Wasn't a huge people person before depression, now I throw myself into new situations and am not shy about meeting new people. Well, you get the picture.
I had a second pretty severe episode about 7 years ago, but I ultimately had the self-knowledge to climb out of it.
My conclusion about depression is that despite common symptoms across many people who suffer from it, it remains a stubbornly unique malady from person to person. What the science world knows about brain chemistry is still orders of magnitude smaller than what they don't know about it.
Thanks for that Odelay. I was using it to mean the opposite of what it means as you say. I have taken some form of anti-depressant for twenty years with a five year break in my mid-20's. The five year break was the slowest, most inert (there we go) period of my life. I still don't like going to large functions, but I will go to them if I think I should. I force myself awake in the morning for work and often put things off that require a lot of effort (cooking, cleaning, or uncomfortable phone calls).
I found the medicine made it so I was able to push myself to do some uncomfortable things.
I have also found a lot of the things you mentioned helpful, but I had to get to a certain state of being before I could do some of those things, like pushing myself to do things when I don't want to. When I was suffering the worst, I would force myself to do something and then find myself exhausted halfway through the day and wishing I could get home as quickly as possible.
As you say depression is very unique in how it manifests. Many doctors do not know the difference between atypical and melancholic depression, which can make a crucial difference in how they treat it. As Miranda was saying, doctors are often dealing with clusters of symptoms and they have to help a person figure out how best to cope with them.
i'm learning...
"I finally made it very simple for myself. If I'm active, I'm okay. If I'm experiencing a thought that pushes me to a state of inactivity, then that's not okay." Odelay
"I have also found a lot of the things you mentioned helpful, but I had to get to a certain state of being before I could do some of those things, like pushing myself to do things when I don't want to" Broncofan
Broncofan's conclusion: depression is very unique in how it manifests. Many doctors do not know the difference between atypical and melancholic depression, which can make a crucial difference in how they treat it. As Miranda was saying, doctors are often dealing with clusters of symptoms and they have to help a person figure out how best to cope with them.
My interpretation: Realizing that depression is unique in how it manifests, Miranda with the help from a (good) doctor, has to figure it out how and what is the best way to cope with it.
For Odelay: to stay active definitely helps. Agreed by Broncofan.
Conclusion: doing something that we like definitely helps :dancing: