We're Not Gay And We're Not Straight

Yup! :)

http://31.media.tumblr.com/a28721a28...vf0zo1_500.jpg

To quote one of my favourite movies

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The world is changing, music is changing, drugs are changing, even men and women are changing. One thousand years from now there'll be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me

You see, if you ask me, we're heterosexual by default, not be decision. It's just a question of who you fancy.

It's all about aesthetics and it's fuck all to do with morality

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Originally Posted by Castor_Troy05

To quote one of my favourite movies

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used to have a major crush on kelly mcdonald

Ah yes Kelly McDonald, met her and her husband once at a music festival, she's stunning in real life too

We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Originally Posted by btmmale4toptg

Yup! :)

http://31.media.tumblr.com/a28721a28...vf0zo1_500.jpg

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never say better :party:

I wasn't getting enough thumbs down votes, so I thought I'd post something on this thread.

Imagine a man and a woman find that they are attracted to each other. In the course of the developing relationship the woman reveals (as timely as possible, but it is always a difficult moment to face) that she is currently a pre-op transexual). Surprised at first, perhaps feeling betrayed, the man shortly decides that in spite of her physiology, he can accept her for the women she is. The relationship continues. Perhaps they even (after many discussions and adventures together) they decide to get married. Is this man a heterosexual? Of course. Is she? Of course. At least there’s is nothing revealed in the story that would lead one to say otherwise.

Now imagine the same story, except the woman being trans is a deal-braker. Are they both still heterosexuals? Yes, of course. But it’s a sad story. Perhaps he wants to have children by the women he eventually marries. Perhaps he just can’t bear the fact that she’s transgender. That can happen even if she is post-op. Sad. But understandable.

Now imagine the same story, but this time all along the man thought he clocked the woman of his attractions right away as a transsexual. But he’s wrong. When he discovers she’s not, it’s a deal-braker. First of all, this story is just as sad as prior story; and certainly less understandable. Second, let’s once again ask the question, “Is he a heterosexual?” Ans: Maybe, maybe not. If he is, he is a heterosexual with a fetish.

Now there’s nothing wrong with fetishes. They are the spice of life. It is quite all right to occassionally act out fantasies and even objectify your lover, or some aspect of him or her. One key word here is “occassionally.” Some of us girls make or have made a substantive living of having healthy fun with male libidos. I know a lot of heterosexual men who enjoy spending an evening fondling a tgirl’s cock. It’s a fetish that some men enjoy and others find repulsive, like drinking a woman’s piss or licking the soles of her shoes.

But (imo) if you let your fetish take a permanent hold on your psyche, so that its presence or absence becomes a deal-braker obstructing the formation of natural healthy relationships, then needless to say, that kind of fetish is not so healthy. I’m wary of anyone who tells me they date transgender women exclusively and that it’s prejudicial to criticize them because being attracted exclusively to transgender women is like being gay and attracted exclusively to men. I disagree. Homosexuality, like heterosexuality, is a sexual orientation. Attraction exclusively to transgender women is not.

One contrary argument is that gender is a continuum. Not every man is either straight or gay. There are shades of in between and exclusive attraction to transgender women is somewhere in the in between.

There are a lot of things to criticize in this argument. 1) Sexual orientation is not gender identification. 2) Being a transgender person doesn’t entail that you’re somewhere in between male and female on the gender continuum. 3) Exclusive attraction to transsexual women is not a sexual orientation nor a gender identity; if male is attracted to a transsexual woman (for the right reasons), then he is attracted to a woman and is therefore a heteosexual, not something between hetero and homo. I can already hear someone object to the parenthetical proviso “for the right reasons.” That is addressed by 4) transgender is not a sexual orientation. Transgender is something a person sometimes becomes to reconcile a tragic mismatch between their physiologic gender and their percieved gender. It is not a sexual orientation. Now to address the topic of right reasons. The “right reasons” are the reasons that prevail as right in any sort of healthy relationship. Gay men seek gay men. Heterosexual men seek heterosexual women and vice-versa. Not being the appropriate sexual orientation can be a legitimate deal-braker (an appropriate and right reason for ending the romantic part of the relationship). But transgender is not a sexual orientation. So being or not being transgender is not by itself a legitimate deal-braker. Anyone for whom being transgender or not is a deal-braker, is sadly a person in the unhealthy grip of a powerful fetish.

the first and second scenario remind me of any typical jerry springer episode- where the guy supposedly had "no idea".

the third scenario is the typical hungangels chaser scenario- where they're aggressively seeking out a t-girlfriend for a "serious" relationship that doesn't involve "donations"

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Originally Posted by bluesoul

the first and second scenario remind me of any typical jerry springer episode- where the guy supposedly had "no idea".

the third scenario is the typical hungangels chaser scenario- where they're aggressively seeking out a t-girlfriend for a "serious" relationship that doesn't involve "donations"

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Yeah, I agree the scenarios are pretty lame. I made them up to introduce the idea of using a "deal-braker" as a kind of test to decide whether one's fetish has gotten out of hand. You can use it for any kind of fetish. Big humongous tits, for example...a rather common fetish. A lot of men would consider it a bonus if they married someone with humongous fun bags...and that's just fine...it IS a bonus. But if having or not having humongous fun bags is a deal-braker, then the fetish has gotten out of hand and is likely ruining your life and will ultimately make your partner miserable.

On your 1st point, you are right, sexual orientation is not gender identification.

2.I don't think anyone, that uses the continuum argument, has suggested that a transgendered person is somewhere in between male and female. A transgendered person is a combination, like all of us, of sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, romantic orientation, and sexual behavior.

3. You are also right that being exclusively attracted to a transsexual person is not a sexual orientation nor a gender identity. As I stated above, there are many different factors. Although, IMO, I don't think someone would be exclusively attracted to a transsexual person. But I disagree with your argument that if male is attracted to a transsexual woman then therefore a heterosexual. Now does that mean he is automatically in between hetro and homo? Not necessarily but he could be. Adding fetish into this argument seems a bit unnecessary and doesn't make a lot of sense because fetishes are sexual/intimate activities that can be performed solo, with 2 people or with a group of people.

*on a side note: it seems more likely that wanting to have sex with a transgendered person is not a fetish but is most likely the result of a persons sexual behavior and/or romantic orientation. And I say this because wanting to have sex, of any kind, is not a fetish it is human nature. If a guy wants to have sex with a girl, can we really call that a fetish? If a guy wants to have anal sex with a girl then I would call that a fetish.
*

And finally, I'll use myself as an example.
Sex: Male
Gender Identity: Man
Sexual Orientation: mostly straight, but gay on a very small level, or partially bi.
Romantic Orientation: woman (non-transgendered)
Sexual Behavior: I could say none because I haven't had sex or I could simply put masturbation. And I want to have sex with a woman and a transsexual woman.

For me none of these factors are set in stone so they could change.

Thanks for the well considered comments. Just a couple of points in reply.

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... I disagree with your argument that if male is attracted to a transsexual woman then therefore a heterosexual.

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This isn't quite what I said. I do agree that non-heterosexuals may be sexually attracted to a transsexual woman.

IMO a man whose sexual interests are focused exclusively on transsexual women is harboring a fetish. On this we probably will have to agree to disagree.

:iagree::iagree::iagree: So wholly eloquently put. I would love to meet trish.

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Originally Posted by trish

I wasn't getting enough thumbs down votes, so I thought I'd post something on this thread.....

Imagine a man and a woman find that they are attracted to each other. In the course of the developing relationship the woman reveals (as timely as possible, but it is always a difficult moment to face) that she is currently a pre-op transexual). Surprised at first, perhaps feeling betrayed, the man shortly decides that in spite of her physiology, he can accept her for the women she is. The relationship continues. Perhaps they even (after many discussions and adventures together) they decide to get married. Is this man a heterosexual? Of course. Is she? Of course. At least there’s is nothing revealed in the story that would lead one to say otherwise.

Now imagine the same story, except the woman being trans is a deal-braker. Are they both still heterosexuals? Yes, of course. But it’s a sad story. Perhaps he wants to have children by the women he eventually marries. Perhaps he just can’t bear the fact that she’s transgender. That can happen even if she is post-op. Sad. But understandable.

Now imagine the same story, but this time all along the man thought he clocked the woman of his attractions right away as a transsexual. But he’s wrong. When he discovers she’s not, it’s a deal-braker. First of all, this story is just as sad as prior story; and certainly less understandable. Second, let’s once again ask the question, “Is he a heterosexual?” Ans: Maybe, maybe not. If he is, he is a heterosexual with a fetish.

Now there’s nothing wrong with fetishes. They are the spice of life. It is quite all right to occassionally act out fantasies and even objectify your lover, or some aspect of him or her. One key word here is “occassionally.” Some of us girls make or have made a substantive living of having healthy fun with male libidos. I know a lot of heterosexual men who enjoy spending an evening fondling a tgirl’s cock. It’s a fetish that some men enjoy and others find repulsive, like drinking a woman’s piss or licking the soles of her shoes.

But (imo) if you let your fetish take a permanent hold on your psyche, so that its presence or absence becomes a deal-braker obstructing the formation of natural healthy relationships, then needless to say, that kind of fetish is not so healthy. I’m wary of anyone who tells me they date transgender women exclusively and that it’s prejudicial to criticize them because being attracted exclusively to transgender women is like being gay and attracted exclusively to men. I disagree. Homosexuality, like heterosexuality, is a sexual orientation. Attraction exclusively to transgender women is not.

One contrary argument is that gender is a continuum. Not every man is either straight or gay. There are shades of in between and exclusive attraction to transgender women is somewhere in the in between.

There are a lot of things to criticize in this argument. 1) Sexual orientation is not gender identification. 2) Being a transgender person doesn’t entail that you’re somewhere in between male and female on the gender continuum. 3) Exclusive attraction to transsexual women is not a sexual orientation nor a gender identity; if male is attracted to a transsexual woman (for the right reasons), then he is attracted to a woman and is therefore a heteosexual, not something between hetero and homo. I can already hear someone object to the parenthetical proviso “for the right reasons.” That is addressed by 4) transgender is not a sexual orientation. Transgender is something a person sometimes becomes to reconcile a tragic mismatch between their physiologic gender and their percieved gender. It is not a sexual orientation. Now to address the topic of right reasons. The “right reasons” are the reasons that prevail as right in any sort of healthy relationship. Gay men seek gay men. Heterosexual men seek heterosexual women and vice-versa. Not being the appropriate sexual orientation can be a legitimate deal-braker (an appropriate and right reason for ending the romantic part of the relationship). But transgender is not a sexual orientation. So being or not being transgender is not by itself a legitimate deal-braker. Anyone for whom being transgender or not is a deal-braker, is sadly a person in the unhealthy grip of a powerful fetish.

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I'm straight and I've confirmed this. I like cis and trans women. Let's face if we we're gay, then transwomen wouldn't appeal to us at all. Hell even some really femme FTMs look good to me too. Only you can know who you are and what you're into. Just take life one day at a time and don't stress yourself out.

Hello, I'm new here and wish to at least attempt to answer the question about why straight guys struggle. Please allow this to be my introductory post.

it's because of social and cultural expectations that we struggle with this. You see, all of America society has social and cultural expectations. That is to say, most people think that because "i'm" this way then everybody has to be the same. In short, what Americans value most is conformity and expect everyone to conform to how they think people should be.

thus, they lock us into our gender identity and social roles.

And if it's broken, then it causes a lot of confusion.

i am struggling with this myself. I have always been taught that anything other than heterosexual man and women is wrong, and it is hard to break a lifetime of conditioning.

But, perhaps there could be a new term. because being aroused by transsexualism is not one thing, it is a combination of both masculinity and femininity.

Some do look very good, and being attracted to them is a confusing thing.

I hope I haven't offended anyone with my opinion.

I so wish this thread would go away...is there any way to get rid of it?

There are no end of people who come here and post threads trying to label how others identify themselves owing to what they find attractive - or start arguments either way.

I for one would like all such things declared as a redundant topic, which clearly only appeals to trolling and think such posts should fall under the same rules as posting links to tube sites; instant deletion and repeated infractions get a ban.

If HA is to exist as a site, there's always going to be new members logging on trying to understand their attraction to TS.

Yeah the topics are redundant but if they help one person come to terms with being NORMAL, I don't see the problem.

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Originally Posted by giovanni_hotel

If HA is to exist as a site, there's always going to be new members logging on trying to understand their attraction to TS.

Yeah the topics are redundant but if they help one person come to terms with being NORMAL, I don't see the problem.

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I agree and should calrify my comments. I'm talking generally about threads that set out to provoke angry debates/responses - not about a particular thread having not read all of this one for example.

Threads which ask for help or advice, or are just trying to understand who they want to be should be encouraged. Just hopefully the trolls can be identified along the way.

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Originally Posted by trish

I wasn't getting enough thumbs down votes, so I thought I'd post something on this thread.

Imagine a man and a woman find that they are attracted to each other. In the course of the developing relationship the woman reveals (as timely as possible, but it is always a difficult moment to face) that she is currently a pre-op transexual). Surprised at first, perhaps feeling betrayed, the man shortly decides that in spite of her physiology, he can accept her for the women she is. The relationship continues. Perhaps they even (after many discussions and adventures together) they decide to get married. Is this man a heterosexual? Of course. Is she? Of course. At least there’s is nothing revealed in the story that would lead one to say otherwise.

Now imagine the same story, except the woman being trans is a deal-braker. Are they both still heterosexuals? Yes, of course. But it’s a sad story. Perhaps he wants to have children by the women he eventually marries. Perhaps he just can’t bear the fact that she’s transgender. That can happen even if she is post-op. Sad. But understandable.

Now imagine the same story, but this time all along the man thought he clocked the woman of his attractions right away as a transsexual. But he’s wrong. When he discovers she’s not, it’s a deal-braker. First of all, this story is just as sad as prior story; and certainly less understandable. Second, let’s once again ask the question, “Is he a heterosexual?” Ans: Maybe, maybe not. If he is, he is a heterosexual with a fetish.

Now there’s nothing wrong with fetishes. They are the spice of life. It is quite all right to occassionally act out fantasies and even objectify your lover, or some aspect of him or her. One key word here is “occassionally.” Some of us girls make or have made a substantive living of having healthy fun with male libidos. I know a lot of heterosexual men who enjoy spending an evening fondling a tgirl’s cock. It’s a fetish that some men enjoy and others find repulsive, like drinking a woman’s piss or licking the soles of her shoes.

But (imo) if you let your fetish take a permanent hold on your psyche, so that its presence or absence becomes a deal-braker obstructing the formation of natural healthy relationships, then needless to say, that kind of fetish is not so healthy. I’m wary of anyone who tells me they date transgender women exclusively and that it’s prejudicial to criticize them because being attracted exclusively to transgender women is like being gay and attracted exclusively to men. I disagree. Homosexuality, like heterosexuality, is a sexual orientation. Attraction exclusively to transgender women is not.

One contrary argument is that gender is a continuum. Not every man is either straight or gay. There are shades of in between and exclusive attraction to transgender women is somewhere in the in between.

There are a lot of things to criticize in this argument. 1) Sexual orientation is not gender identification. 2) Being a transgender person doesn’t entail that you’re somewhere in between male and female on the gender continuum. 3) Exclusive attraction to transsexual women is not a sexual orientation nor a gender identity; if male is attracted to a transsexual woman (for the right reasons), then he is attracted to a woman and is therefore a heteosexual, not something between hetero and homo. I can already hear someone object to the parenthetical proviso “for the right reasons.” That is addressed by 4) transgender is not a sexual orientation. Transgender is something a person sometimes becomes to reconcile a tragic mismatch between their physiologic gender and their percieved gender. It is not a sexual orientation. Now to address the topic of right reasons. The “right reasons” are the reasons that prevail as right in any sort of healthy relationship. Gay men seek gay men. Heterosexual men seek heterosexual women and vice-versa. Not being the appropriate sexual orientation can be a legitimate deal-braker (an appropriate and right reason for ending the romantic part of the relationship). But transgender is not a sexual orientation. So being or not being transgender is not by itself a legitimate deal-braker. Anyone for whom being transgender or not is a deal-braker, is sadly a person in the unhealthy grip of a powerful fetish.

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I think this covers it very well at every angle...

Nothing wrong with this thread. It interested me, cauxse I use to always wonder what the hell am I doing with a TG Gurl or even today withg CD gurls when I have a nice loo0king GF for many years!! But hey, if it feels good, I just do it!!! No hangups here!!!!

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Originally Posted by nysprod

I so wish this thread would go away...is there any way to get rid of it?

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Just stop rubbing it.

In my opinion if you don't fancy or fuck guys then u ain't gay. That's why I like ts not tv as the feminine form should be the focus for me and a stripped down TV looks too much like a dude!

I'm introverted & bent. Do I qualify?

I don't care what anyone thinks I am. I love to suck tgirl cock, I love to get fucked by tgirls, and I love to fuck tgirls.

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Originally Posted by trish

I wasn't getting enough thumbs down votes, so I thought I'd post something on this thread.

Imagine a man and a woman find that they are attracted to each other. In the course of the developing relationship the woman reveals (as timely as possible, but it is always a difficult moment to face) that she is currently a pre-op transexual). Surprised at first, perhaps feeling betrayed, the man shortly decides that in spite of her physiology, he can accept her for the women she is. The relationship continues. Perhaps they even (after many discussions and adventures together) they decide to get married. Is this man a heterosexual? Of course. Is she? Of course. At least there’s is nothing revealed in the story that would lead one to say otherwise.

Now imagine the same story, except the woman being trans is a deal-braker. Are they both still heterosexuals? Yes, of course. But it’s a sad story. Perhaps he wants to have children by the women he eventually marries. Perhaps he just can’t bear the fact that she’s transgender. That can happen even if she is post-op. Sad. But understandable.

Now imagine the same story, but this time all along the man thought he clocked the woman of his attractions right away as a transsexual. But he’s wrong. When he discovers she’s not, it’s a deal-braker. First of all, this story is just as sad as prior story; and certainly less understandable. Second, let’s once again ask the question, “Is he a heterosexual?” Ans: Maybe, maybe not. If he is, he is a heterosexual with a fetish.

Now there’s nothing wrong with fetishes. They are the spice of life. It is quite all right to occassionally act out fantasies and even objectify your lover, or some aspect of him or her. One key word here is “occassionally.” Some of us girls make or have made a substantive living of having healthy fun with male libidos. I know a lot of heterosexual men who enjoy spending an evening fondling a tgirl’s cock. It’s a fetish that some men enjoy and others find repulsive, like drinking a woman’s piss or licking the soles of her shoes.

But (imo) if you let your fetish take a permanent hold on your psyche, so that its presence or absence becomes a deal-braker obstructing the formation of natural healthy relationships, then needless to say, that kind of fetish is not so healthy. I’m wary of anyone who tells me they date transgender women exclusively and that it’s prejudicial to criticize them because being attracted exclusively to transgender women is like being gay and attracted exclusively to men. I disagree. Homosexuality, like heterosexuality, is a sexual orientation. Attraction exclusively to transgender women is not.

One contrary argument is that gender is a continuum. Not every man is either straight or gay. There are shades of in between and exclusive attraction to transgender women is somewhere in the in between.

There are a lot of things to criticize in this argument. 1) Sexual orientation is not gender identification. 2) Being a transgender person doesn’t entail that you’re somewhere in between male and female on the gender continuum. 3) Exclusive attraction to transsexual women is not a sexual orientation nor a gender identity; if male is attracted to a transsexual woman (for the right reasons), then he is attracted to a woman and is therefore a heteosexual, not something between hetero and homo. I can already hear someone object to the parenthetical proviso “for the right reasons.” That is addressed by 4) transgender is not a sexual orientation. Transgender is something a person sometimes becomes to reconcile a tragic mismatch between their physiologic gender and their percieved gender. It is not a sexual orientation. Now to address the topic of right reasons. The “right reasons” are the reasons that prevail as right in any sort of healthy relationship. Gay men seek gay men. Heterosexual men seek heterosexual women and vice-versa. Not being the appropriate sexual orientation can be a legitimate deal-braker (an appropriate and right reason for ending the romantic part of the relationship). But transgender is not a sexual orientation. So being or not being transgender is not by itself a legitimate deal-braker. Anyone for whom being transgender or not is a deal-braker, is sadly a person in the unhealthy grip of a powerful fetish.

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I respect Trish's thoughts on this but I have to wholeheartedly disagree.

To accept it would mean that a man cannot have a preference for transgender woman else he is just living in the grip of a fetish that's consuming him. And it renders transgender women illegitimate as beings worthy of real feelings and love simply because of who they are.

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Originally Posted by nysprod

...To accept it would mean that a man cannot have a preference for transgender woman else he is just living in the grip of a fetish that's consuming him. And it renders transgender women illegitimate as beings worthy of real feelings and love simply because of who they are.

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The first sentence correctly states my view, but only insofar as the “grip” is understood to be no stronger than the “preference.” The way the words are usually used one can have a preference for -say buxom blonds- but not be in the grip of a fetish.

The second sentence is posed as if it followed from the first. Transgender women are worthy of love for all the reasons that any person is worthy of love, the mismatch between their gender identity and their sex as reported on their birth certificate shouldn’t enter into it.

Though we’ve never met, I’m fairly sure you’re a fun and loving man. I find it difficult to believe that you could not love a woman who wasn’t transgender. Preference is one thing... deal-breaker is another.

Certainly you can understand that no woman would want a man who couldn’t love her because she’s transgender. So why would a woman (trans or not) want a man who couldn’t love her if she wasn't transgender?

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Originally Posted by trish

Certainly you can understand that no woman would want a man who couldn’t love her because she’s transgender. So why would a woman (trans or not) want a man who couldn’t love her if she wasn't transgender?

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Of course a genetic woman would not want a man if he couldn't love her cuz she wasn't transgender.

But that's not your point, which is that a man is not allowed to have a preference specifically for transgender women. What you're saying is:

Hetero male having a preference for genetic women is allowed
Gay man having a preference for gay men is allowed
Man having a preference for transgender women is not allowed because that is simply a fetish.

Your point (which I disagree with) implies that a man cannot, or should not, love a transgender woman because she is transgender...he's only allowed to love her in spite of her being transgender.

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Originally Posted by nysprod

Of course a genetic woman would not want a man if he couldn't love her cuz she wasn't transgender.

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What I said was, "...why would a woman (trans or not) want a man who couldn’t love her if she wasn't transgender?" Notice the parenthetical as well as the counterfactual "if she wasn't".

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Hetero male having a preference for genetic women is allowed
Gay man having a preference for gay men is allowed
Man having a preference for transgender women is not allowed because that is simply a fetish.

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What I'm saying is there's a distinction between sexual orientation and gender identity.

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Your point (which I disagree with) implies that a man cannot, or should not, love a transgender woman because she is transgender...he's only allowed to love her in spite of her being transgender.

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If he is inclined toward women, then whether she is trans or not should enter into it (with the provisos about child bearing etc. mentions in the original post back in 2013). If there's any "spite" at all, it would be better for both parties to confront it as soon as possible.

does seeing a man make you hard?

would you enjoy a genetic man:

- sucking your cock
- fucking you
- you fucking him

do these thoughts make you physically cringe?

but does an MTF TS doing these make you hard? make you want her cock in your arse?

if the former do, you're gay, if the latter set do, you're not.

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Originally Posted by trish

What I'm saying is there's a distinction between sexual orientation and gender identity.

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Fine, but what does that have to do with a guy who prefers transgender women having nothing more than a fetish for them?

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Originally Posted by trish

If he is inclined toward women, then whether she is trans or not should enter into it.

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Obviously that works for you and that's ok...but to just make a blanket statement about what should and should not enter into the equation denies reality and totally negates the possibility of loving someone as they are (transgender) simply because a man has that preference.

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Fine, but what does that have to do with a guy who prefers transgender women having nothing more than a fetish for them?

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It defuses your attempt at an analogy between those who choose compatibly oriented romantic companions and those who insist that their romantic partners be women who have or once had dicks.

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...but to just make a blanket statement about what should and should not enter into the equation denies reality and totally negates the possibility of loving someone as they are (transgender) simply because a man has that preference.

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There's nothing wrong with fetishes, or even marrying a partner who exemplifies your fetishes as long as you're both happy; nor is there anything I'm saying that stands in the way of that.

You are right to point out that I am, at least in part, expressing my personal opinion. I worked hard to become the woman I am; to gain acceptance as a women in my family, among my friends and in society. I want my lover to regard me as one-hundred percent woman. If I learned that not having that thing between my legs was a deal-breaker, I would have to totally re-evaluate the relationship. That may just be me...but I think you'll find most transgender women agree. Things are a bit turned around in HA-Land because it's populated by fans of our unique condition.

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Originally Posted by trish

It defuses your attempt at an analogy between those who choose compatibly oriented romantic companions and those who insist that their romantic partners be women who have or once had dicks.

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People insist on a whole bunch of things in their partner, it's just another thing on the list of possibilities

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Originally Posted by trish

There's nothing wrong with fetishes, or even marrying a partner who exemplifies your fetishes as long as you're both happy; nor is there anything I'm saying that stands in the way of that.

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Whether you approve of fetishes isn't the point, it's that you regard a man who prefers tg women only as a fetishist.

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Originally Posted by trish

If I learned that not having that thing between my legs was a deal-breaker, I would have to totally re-evaluate the relationship.

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Right...you're expressing a preference in your partner, which really is no different than a man expressing his preference for a tg woman.

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Right...you're expressing a preference in your partner, which really is no different than a man expressing his preference for a tg woman.

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Yes, I prefer that his love for me not be contingent upon his fetishes.

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People insist on a whole bunch of things in their partner, it's just another thing on the list of possibilities

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This has nothing to do with your false analogy. Romantic partners need to have compatible sexual orientation. Desire for a transgender women is not a sexual orientation. It's not even a gender identity. It's a fetish based on the desired person's mismatch between her gender-identity and her sex as reported on her birth certificate. There is no analogy.

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Whether you approve of fetishes isn't the point, it's that you regard a man who prefers tg women only as a fetishist.

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The point is not whether I regard it as a fetish, but why my thinking it is (or why others thinking it is) bothers you. The post you're objecting to was posted back in 2013. Stop rubbing it and this thread will go away. I'm sure we can just agree to disagree on this one.

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Originally Posted by trish

I'm sure we can just agree to disagree on this one.

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Indeed we can