Goodbye

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Originally Posted by nysprod

Actually, you are mistaken there...unfortunately, depression and associated disorders (bi polar, mood disorders, anxiety, etc.) are not really curable allthough in many cases they can be managed with meds and therapy to various degrees of success.

But it's a battle though.

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Indeed. That is a big reason why I have felt as frustrated and as hopeless as I have of late. To have my mood crash YET AGAIN and have much of my progress wiped out YET ANOTHER TIME is deeply discouraging. Certainly over the past week, my distressed state has led to me burning a bridge or two, and losing at least one important friendship. Not to mention it was my collapsing mood which led me to turn around from LA, wasting seed money which I didn't have to waste. How many more times am I going to start making progress only to have it fall apart when my mood no longer holds?

Like you say there is no cure for this. In fact, psychiatry is still so limited that these "disorders" are really just labels for clusters of symptoms, as opposed to a disease with an identifiable and testable aetiology which can be addressed through medicine. Since these disorders are just symptom clusters, diagnosis boils down to an educated guess based upon what a patient reports, and then treatment consists of trying different medications which, for not fully understood reasons, help some people, to some degree, with some of the symptoms which the patient is reporting. In effect, it's like getting a pain killer for a dislocated shoulder: the pain is reduced to manageable levels, but until the shoulder is put back in the socket, the pain isn't going to go away. Mood disorders are the sameway except no one knows how to put the metaphorical joint back in the socket: all that can be done is to prescribe meds which sometimes make things more manageable.

That's discouraging especially in light of the 2 steps forward, 3 steps back pattern which has characterized my life.

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Originally Posted by tsmirandameadows

That's discouraging especially in light of the 2 steps forward, 3 steps back pattern which has characterized my life.

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Miranda - yes you have been battling thru a number of peaks and valleys. It could be that you are making progress - like 3 forward, 2 back. I think you are making progress but I understand your frustration. Good luck and be brave.

I'm not an expert with regards to this Miranda.

But, don't be discouraged easily.

The doctor told me, i had 60 per cent chance of becoming limping. I said no, i won't be.

Courage and determination are extremely important

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Originally Posted by asianphoenixx

I'm not an expert with regards to this Miranda.

But, don't be discouraged easily.

The doctor told me, i had 60 per cent chance of becoming limping. I said no, i won't be.

Courage and determination are extremely important

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That I will definitely agree with...the mind is a powerful thing...the placebo effect is testament to that.

so just to be clear since i am on vacation and missed the last 13 pages...

Miranda is alive and posting (i knew that bc i was texting her lol)
Kelly Shore is full of shit (we all knew that)
Asian Phoenix is apparently a millionaire hooker in toronto (well alrighty then)

did I miss anything?

For those interested in the power of the mind, one therapy for depression is cognitive therapy, pioneered by Aaron Beck. I read his book the cognitive therapy of depression and it is very informative. However, when I tried to put it into practice I found it was like pushing a boulder up a hill.

I understand that depression is characterized by persistent negative bias in the way we process information. But I am not sure that's the cause (a symptom to be sure), and cognitive re-framing did not provide a cure for me.

Anyhow, it's important to find a good mental health practitioner. Bipolar II is very difficult to treat but that just means it's all the more important to find someone you trust. There are a lot of medicines, if you are interested, that are used to treat the type of intractable depression someone in the depressed phase of bipolar disorder faces.

Whereas in bipolar I, the use of anti-depressants is controversial because it's not known whether it increases cycling, I do think doctors use them more liberally in bipolar II. There are also mood stabilizers with anti-depressant properties.

Anyhow, I know Miranda did not ask for recommendations on medicine. But I did want to re-assert something about depression: determination has nothing to do with it. When you are depressed you have absolutely no inertia. Getting out of bed is difficult, your interest in people is nil, your hope for the future (whether it's reality based or not) is not there. There are little routines that can help functioning in my experience but nothing that makes these feelings disappear altogether.

I have to say that I was very distressed when reading the first posts of this thread. Having read Miranda's past posts in other threads, I have always thought of her as being very intelligent and insightful, as well as pleasing to the eye. I was very glad to see her posting again. Very good insight into the presentation of depression and associative disorders with analogy to the physical (dislocated shoulder). I believe that broncofan had some excellent advice...find a good mental health practitioner-someone you can trust. Also, Miranda, find an outlet- a friend, support group, post on HA- there are many here who I believe were genuinely concerned, even though a few seemed to post self-serving drivel. Please be well!

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Originally Posted by broncofan

For those interested in the power of the mind, one therapy for depression is cognitive therapy, pioneered by Aaron Beck. I read his book the cognitive therapy of depression and it is very informative. However, when I tried to put it into practice I found it was like pushing a boulder up a hill.

I understand that depression is characterized by persistent negative bias in the way we process information. But I am not sure that's the cause (a symptom to be sure), and cognitive re-framing did not provide a cure for me.

Anyhow, it's important to find a good mental health practitioner. Bipolar II is very difficult to treat but that just means it's all the more important to find someone you trust. There are a lot of medicines, if you are interested, that are used to treat the type of intractable depression someone in the depressed phase of bipolar disorder faces.

Whereas in bipolar I, the use of anti-depressants is controversial because it's not known whether it increases cycling, I do think doctors use them more liberally in bipolar II. There are also mood stabilizers with anti-depressant properties.

Anyhow, I know Miranda did not ask for recommendations on medicine. But I did want to re-assert something about depression: determination has nothing to do with it. When you are depressed you have absolutely no inertia. Getting out of bed is difficult, your interest in people is nil, your hope for the future (whether it's reality based or not) is not there. There are little routines that can help functioning in my experience but nothing that makes these feelings disappear altogether.

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knowledgeable, though it's a little skeptical at the end.

there are 3 points you mentioned that are actually very important:
1.Power of mind
2.Finding a good mental health practitioner
3.Recommendation of medicine.

I personally emphasize point 1, as the most important thing, the rest will follow

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Originally Posted by asianphoenixx

Technically is not the same, but i see it as the same thing.

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Well it's not!
Do not compare what is not comparable...

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Originally Posted by asianphoenixx

I don't take anything personally easily, including Bella's comments, unless the attack is malicious.

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Good. Because I wasn't being malicious. I see a real problem with many trans people where they feel entitled to flaunt their 'self-esteem.' The problem with that is: if you have to flaunt it, you're usually overcompensating and not trying to convince just others of it, but also yourself. Therefore, you probably don't have a full grasp on it yet. True self-confidence is quiet, as in 'walk softly, but carry a big stick.'

So relax! If you're truly happy with yourself, then the only one who should have to know that is you. :)

I totally understand that I can be hard on people, but its usually because 'nice' doesn't get my messages across, so please, don't ignore them.

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Originally Posted by nysprod

Idk about changing anything in this thread...I know how I want to change certain aspects about the way I conduct myself, that's about it.

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Fair enough. I did mention that the men around here should be more understanding. As I said, I appreciate your sentiment; it's just that on the same token, most of the girls here have been through hell, so choosing one over another under these circumstances is counterproductive.

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Originally Posted by bigkid69

Ok, ok, I'll be your friend Bella. :)

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More friends! YAYZ! Friend request accepted. :D

~BB~