That is actually a very good point. It was initially very hard on my mom, and after digging she opened up to me that the reason for it was that all the tgirls she'd ever seen or known of or met in her life, in person or on tv- looked like 50 yr old 300lb ex-athletes putting on dresses with no other changes to their body (beards, leg hair and all).Quote:
Originally Posted by yodajazz
It took her to realize that this wasn't an accurate stereotype on her part, it took a couple years for her to finally get past that point alone. But it was not the only problem like that, luckily for me I am not an only child so she didn't really care or push the hope for me having kids (I was sterile before hrt and that wasn't an issue for her), to be frank she at first openly wished that I was a gay or a cd because to her, then I'd at least have better odds at "looking normal" and having a "normal life"
We were always really close and continued to be so after I moved away, after not seeing her much for a few years (not because of any bad feelings) I started visiting her more regularly and it was an instant "well, this isn't so bad" and the issue pretty much just dried up & died right then & there.
The reason why I am so confused by this thread is because I don't see what the need was for coming out to her. Unless she's going to be seeing your gf naked it doesn't impact her life any. If your gf is nonop it might be an issue if your mom has grand plans of you getting married, with gay marriage laws being a problem. But other than those points I don't see why the disclosure.
I would advise against bombarding her with the issue, it is going to take time both to talk to her and to get her to subjectively listen to what you have to say.
In addition to what has already been said, if she brings up not being able to have kids you can always remind her how many GGs there are who can never have kids because of medical problems, like endometrosis (one example of many). Endo is beyond a doubt a very uncomfortable, painful, dehabilitating condition for some ggs in its own right without bringing various cancers into the picture. I know a couple ggs who have had it, and for severe cases the only hope at ending the pain is to have their reproductive systems cut out, not an easy operation like bilateral orchis are by any stretch of the imagination. Worse yet, most doctors are arrogant pigs who will refuse to consider removing the ovaries or uterus of straight girls until they're into menopause because it will end their chances at having kids.
My best friend had endo since puberty started for her. She's straight, married, no kids, neither her nor her husband want to have any kids, at all, by any means. Yet she was unable to find a doctor who would remove her reproductive system to end the pain until she was in her late 30s. Every doctor kept downplaying it or worse; disbelieving her pain stories (endo isn't easy to detect without surgery, and this rogue uterus lining tissue can spring up on all kinds of internal organs even far away from the reproductive system). She had three major surgeries over a 15 year period to remove this rogue tissue, and one of her ovaries after it got out of control in that location, (as a result can't wear bikinis without showing all the midriff area scaring from it) all of which would have been avoided had they merely agreed to cut everything out as she requested 20 years before that when she was in her teens.
Sorry for the offtopic rant, I just want to make it clear that I totally understand the pain that some of these medical conditions can cause and do not want to imply that such examples are "good for getting your point on trans issues across, so yay for us" in arguments without knowing the whole story. Anyone who cannot have kids for reasons like these has my sympathy.
