A Family Affair

I hope the best for you and your family Ruby. Your post shows a lot of wisdom. Families can cause problems, but in the end life can be difficult without them. Thanks for sharing.

omg i just spoke with my brother for the first time since i was 12!!!!! he sounded so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttt and intelligent and grown. of course he had lots of question and i must have sounded like a rambling lunatic over the phone, but the fact that his sister is a transsexual didnt seem to bother him in the least! Of course he was shocked, i gues he was under the impression that i was one of his brother's girlfriends' lol. He was like ong really? lol. Now we're fighting for the title of wildest child but i think i got him beat on that one lol. He has agorgeous son, so im an auntie! im on 3way with him and my brother now

thats great news
:D

that was a long conversation. i feel like a hollow inside me has been filled! He accepts me, he said he loves me and he called me his big sister! Im so happy im crying. I wish all the cold hearted people could feel the love that i feel coursing through my veigns right now. Now i begin my search for Lucy! I think im going to write a book! This moment will change my life forever.

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Originally Posted by RubyTS

that was a long conversation. i feel like a hollow inside me has been filled! He accepts me, he said he loves me and he called me his big sister! Im so happy im crying. I wish all the cold hearted people could feel the love that i feel coursing through my veigns right now. Now i begin my search for Lucy! I think im going to write a book! This moment will change my life forever.

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bless you.
glad you got a bit of good news.
love is a great thing to feel.

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Originally Posted by RubyTS

Hey all. Um, dunno how to start this. Its very personal and quite a touchy subject, but im going through a roller coaster of emotion right now and i reall need to let it out. Only i will leave out a lot of details because some things ae way too private.

First off, as a lot of u who actually follow me are aware, my mom has cancer. I believe its called vulva cancer. I had a vid up on youtube in my last account where i visited her, and posted up her telling me the story of when i was born. This week in philadelpha i recieved veryy bad news that she's not gonna beat it. The cancer is spreading rapidly and radiation isnt helping. The doctors told her that she has a year tops to live.

My relationship with my mother was never very close. I love her to death, but due to some circumstances and things that happened in the past, she wasn't able to raise me. She has 4 beautiful children. We were all put into foster homes as children. Me, my brother jason, my baby sister Lucy and my baby brother Justin. We bounced around from home to home for a while. I was in one which was very abusive to both me and my baby sister. We were then seperated and i was put into another home with a black family. Of course that didn't work out. I believe i was in one more before being placed in a home with my older brother Jason. I had missed him so much. After some time, my fatrher got himself together and took over custody of me and my brother. We fought for visitation right to see our brother and sister. They both wound up being adopted into other families. I must have been 12 when i last saw my baby brother justin. He would have been 6 around that time. Lucy probably 7.

Anyhow afte recieving news of my moms health i dropped everything and a very sweet man gave me a ride from philadelphia into nyc. I spent the night at a motel and prepared myself for having to see my mom after so much radiation. The next day, i met with valiere and she accompanied me to visit with my mother. She was so happy to see me and instantly fell in love with Valiere. I tried my best to hold back any emotion and keep my mom smiling. I managed to do a great job of that surprisingly. I bought he a huge spongebob pillow which she adored and she was so appreciative of even the smallest things. We wound up having a great time. We spoke a lot about the past, and i learned a lot about my mother's relationship wityh my former father ( i recently disowned him) I blame him for a lot. My mom's had a very bad childhood. She told me the best thing that came from her life was her kids. This hurt me so much because 2 of them are within range and never spend time with her. And its not like she did anything to deserve this. When i saw how much she valued me as her child and respects me as the person i am today, and her concern for my dafety and well being i decided that i will do whatever possible to make the remainder of her days as memorable, fun and positive as possible!

I've been doing a lot of organizing and arranging and found that i have a lot more friends and family than i thought. At one point i really felt alone in this would. Now i feel loved and appreciated by the people who matter most. I got back in contact with 3 childhood friends who have shown the utmost suppost in this time of need. One i neglected for a long while and regret doing so. She s beyond a friend. She IS my family. Her name is Kathy, like my mom. I got in contact with my brother Jason, and we are aranging a visit for friday. I want to surprise my mom with my brother and kathy but little did i expect what was to come next!

During the visit with my mom, we had spoken about her other 2 children Lucy and Justin. I vowed 2 things that day. One being to make my former father pay for all the damage that he has caused. 2 - to find my brother and sister.

While on the phone after arriving back in philadelphia, Valiere ran my baby brothers name on myspace. I cried immediately when one struck me. THATS MY BROTHER! He now lives in florida, he's 19 and he's grown to be such a hansome man, and even has a child! My mom is a grandmother by her youngest so and doesn't even know! I messaged him and since i am awaiting a response. I have been super nervous, excited, anxious and sad all at once! I took on so much responsibility and there's so much pressure with so little time! Justin looks to be very conservative and im scared that he wont accept us into his life. This is something u see in movies for god sakes... not something that happens to people like US! What is he gonna think? How is he going to feel? Will he have abandonment issues? Will he allow me to fly him in to meet his biological mother? Will he even care? How do i go about this touchy subject and make him comfortable without scaring him off with so little time! Im so confused and scared, but i'm trying to be as strong as possible.

Im not going to take on the task at the immediate present at locating my baby sister. I think i have enough work to do for now.

Im asking you all to please keep my mom in your payers! May she live long enough to see her most beautiful creations united as a family against all hurdles and hills in our way. By gods will i will make this happen... or die trying.

Dont take family for granted. You never know what u have until its gone!

Ruby

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Your story is so sad, yet there are so many beautiful things within it. I lost my mom years ago to cancer and know how hard it is on everyone.
Most of all I am happy for you that you were able to see her, that you have found love and caring people in your life and that you are there to make your mom happy in this difficult time. Believe me that is so important to her now.

I hope everything goes well with your brother, if it makes you feel any better I was a conservative guy for years and now look at me!

I will indeed keep your mom and you as well in my prayers and wish for the most pleasant time for her while she is with you. I am glad you have the strength to make a difference and I am happy for you that you have the chance to be there for her.

So much emootion. I wish you all the best and admire you.

I'm glad that you were able to talk to your brother Ruby. I will definitely be sending your family positive energy. I'm somewhat of a Buddhist, and believe in positive thoughts, and actions. I truly wish that you could have more time with your Mother. If anything, I hope your family will finally reunite soon. Stay strong. The universe works in mysterious ways.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Ruby, through this tough time.

I always try to look for the silver lining, and here we can see all this re-connection between you and your family that might not have happened so soon if this tragedy didn't fall upon you. You mom is probably asking whomever she believes in "Why Me?" and this might be an answer or explanation that makes sense to her. It can never erase the pain or loss, but it might lessen the sting somewhat.

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Originally Posted by RubyTS

that was a long conversation. i feel like a hollow inside me has been filled! He accepts me, he said he loves me and he called me his big sister! Im so happy im crying. I wish all the cold hearted people could feel the love that i feel coursing through my veigns right now. Now i begin my search for Lucy! I think im going to write a book! This moment will change my life forever.

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"God moves in strange ways." Good news Ruby. Best wishes to you and your family, and of course, your Mom.

Proof positive that whatever strong sexual urges impel people to come here, it ought not to overtake our humanity--all the best to you and your family, Ruby.