The right way to transition after 25 - Vicki Opinion

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07-25-2007
ducktales

http://www.wvrotary.org/photogallery/Misc/100_0748.JPG

is it too late for me to start?
07-25-2007
whatsupwithat

Quote:

Originally Posted by hondarobot

I don't see how a girl having a goal of marrying someone famous in Hollywood would be all that bad. She could have a very fun life.

Yes, she could. That wasn't my point.
07-25-2007
NadiaUSA

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

Quote:

Originally Posted by peggygee

Great thread, alot of excellent points have been made. 8)

As a middle aged woman who transitioned fairly early, I have a concern
and a question.

My concern is that there appears to be a great deal of animosity, and
distrust between older transwomen and younger ones.

My question is how do we bridge that gap?

And a follow up to that question, is it in either groups interest to do so?

I think the only people that will bridge that gap are the younger one's who are smart enough to seek the wisdom of those that came before them.

And, yes, i think it is in the interest of both parties. Both can learn a lot from each other.

The other gap I think that truly needs to be bridged is the gap between the activists and the sex workers/porn stars. These two groups could benefit tremendously from interacting and sharing with each other...the trans movement would rocket forward. But both need to let go of the judgements they have of each other.

There is so much rivalry in the community. I was just reading the heated disscusion in regards to the Wikipedia entry for shemale. The post op medical activist crowd will not allow a shemale word to be used because they shun the sex workers and call them a derogitory segment of the TS catagory. They say shemale is a slur. if you type in shemale in wiki you are redirected to transwoman medical page.

See the disscussion here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Tr...male/Archive_3

Is this sensorship or infighting?

I will repost in its own thread please answer there.
07-25-2007
hondarobot

Quote:

Originally Posted by ducktales

http://www.wvrotary.org/photogallery/Misc/100_0748.JPG

is it too late for me to start?

Heh. You're really old. I'm just saying.

Give me your money before you die, then I can move to Hollywood.

:wink:
07-25-2007
ducktales

Quote:

Originally Posted by hondarobot

Quote:

Originally Posted by ducktales

http://www.wvrotary.org/photogallery/Misc/100_0748.JPG

is it too late for me to start?

Heh. You're really old. I'm just saying.

Give me your money before you die, then I can move to Hollywood.

:wink:

im on the public computer in the home

http://www.indigomanor.com/

anyone want to come visit me
07-25-2007
hondarobot

Quote:

Originally Posted by ducktales

Quote:

Originally Posted by hondarobot

Quote:

Originally Posted by ducktales

http://www.wvrotary.org/photogallery/Misc/100_0748.JPG

is it too late for me to start?

Heh. You're really old. I'm just saying.

Give me your money before you die, then I can move to Hollywood.

:wink:

im on the public computer in the home

http://www.indigomanor.com/

anyone want to come visit me

I don't think that's a very good idea, personally. I do accept monetary donations of cash, or gold.
07-25-2007
BrendaQG

Re: The right way to transition after 25 - Vicki Opinion

Quote:

Originally Posted by peggygee

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrendaQG

I sorry for going a bit OT but I just have to interject this.

I have been to college and grad school. I have looked for a job ANY job. Everything is good until they check the background then I'm screwed. Going to college does not mean you have money.... So far I have borrowed $80,000. Some of it in private loans with rates as high as 14% Financially that makes me worse off than allot of other people.

The fairy tale of graduating from college and living happily ever after is just as much a fantasy as it is in snow white!

In real life there are many many a young good looking transsexual who did graduate from college or university, had masters and even PhD's in their 20's. In spite of this they spent some amount of time doing adult work. At least until they could get their legit career off the ground. That's reality.

Another dose of reality is that people make snap judgments base on looks. The snap judgment that someone makes when looking at that truck driver is that they are a crackpot. Then they take that judgment to all transsexuals.

At least in England they have had serious mass media exposure to more than their share of transsexuals that don't look like that . In america that image is by far what dominates our TV screens and the collective conscious of the people.

Quote:

BrendaQG Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 12:55 am

I wish I knew.

I am nice when I meet such a person. Things are usually all good at first.

No matter what the older TS eventually tries to tell me what to do or how I should live. Gives me some crap about how I live my life. Then I have to tell them to go to hell.

Then there is the odd one who will call me a fag and a sissy. (I'm sure this has happened to others as well).

I wonder if actually both points are inter-woven.

When anyone, irregardless of their gender status first sets out in the world
or leaves school, it can be very difficult for them, as they establish
themselves.

On your second point, I believe it's the nature of older people to share
their lifes experiences, and for younger people to tell older people to go
to hell, that they don't understand what the younger person is going through.

Peggy

On the first thing you are right. I just wanted to point out that college does not automatically make that initial struggle easier.

For the second thing...

How does a 44 yo bodybuilding ex fireman know what I have been through?

That describes one of the older TS's who has called me a sissy. Ironic since they are also wearing a dress, so to speak. I guess everything is relative eh. Compared to someone like that perhaps I am a sisisy. :-? :-/

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

I think the only people that will bridge that gap are the younger one's who are smart enough to seek the wisdom of those that came before them.

And, yes, i think it is in the interest of both parties. Both can learn a lot from each other.

The other gap I think that truly needs to be bridged is the gap between the activists and the sex workers/porn stars. These two groups could benefit tremendously from interacting and sharing with each other...the trans movement would rocket forward. But both need to let go of the judgements they have of each other.

True true. However you have to realize there is a real difference between a transsexual who is 40 now and has been living as a woman since say 15-20 and a transsexual who is 40 years old and has been living as a woman for a shorter time than me.

The ones in the first group have my almost automatic respect and I do listen to them.

On the other hand I will admit that someone who is older than I and has only been living as a woman for a few years would have little to teach me. If anything I came before them. The same can be said of many of the people here. When it comes to life in general the "old hags" would know more. Life as a MTF transsexual is different. For that the 40 yo recent transitioner should defer to the 25 yo who transitioned 10 years ago.

Just my POV.
07-25-2007
BrendaQG

I think it would be a good idea to put this thread is perspective.

How not to transition....

http://www.hungangels.com/board/file...rucker_179.jpg

I really don't think this person would have any meaningful advice for anyone here about life as a TS woman. When it comes to this life they are a newborn.
07-25-2007
Vicki Richter

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicki Richter

That is why I made sure to say my "opinion" right in the topic header. Yes people can do whatever they want to do. However, there are more rational ways of progressing.

I don't think your analogy works all that well because there are GG's who do porn and there are guys who do. If anything, I feel porn actually is a controlling function over people's perceptions. This is a good thing. Guys are recognizing that TS women can look just as good and natural as GG's. This wouldn't have happened without porn.

Just the same, it would really move us forward a lot more if most of the attractive TS weren't hookers and sex workers. I can almost guarantee that some TS would be famous and married to someone famous in Hollywood if she was beautiful and not a sex worker. We need that here.

Anyway, it is my opinion, that girls in training would do well to follow my very good advice.

Okay, sure, porn opens some people's eyes to their sexuality/desires. Good point. And it would move everyone forward if so many attractive TS weren't in porn and doing sex work. Another good point.

But if the penultimate goal of a girl outside of the sex work and the porn is to be married to someone famous in Hollywood, well, I would hope the girls in the community would try to aim a little higher with their goals in life. Scratch that...knowing famous people in Hollywood, I would hope they would aim A LOT higher.

Maybe you were just using it as an example...

No. I don't care about celebrity. However, that is the kind of press we, as transsexuals, need for acceptance. Whether we like it or not, Hollywood is America's royalty. Having someone who millions admire marry a TS woman, particularly a beautiful TS woman, would change a lot of perceptions.
07-25-2007
hondarobot

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicki Richter

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatsupwithat

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicki Richter

That is why I made sure to say my "opinion" right in the topic header. Yes people can do whatever they want to do. However, there are more rational ways of progressing.

I don't think your analogy works all that well because there are GG's who do porn and there are guys who do. If anything, I feel porn actually is a controlling function over people's perceptions. This is a good thing. Guys are recognizing that TS women can look just as good and natural as GG's. This wouldn't have happened without porn.

Just the same, it would really move us forward a lot more if most of the attractive TS weren't hookers and sex workers. I can almost guarantee that some TS would be famous and married to someone famous in Hollywood if she was beautiful and not a sex worker. We need that here.

Anyway, it is my opinion, that girls in training would do well to follow my very good advice.

Okay, sure, porn opens some people's eyes to their sexuality/desires. Good point. And it would move everyone forward if so many attractive TS weren't in porn and doing sex work. Another good point.

But if the penultimate goal of a girl outside of the sex work and the porn is to be married to someone famous in Hollywood, well, I would hope the girls in the community would try to aim a little higher with their goals in life. Scratch that...knowing famous people in Hollywood, I would hope they would aim A LOT higher.

Maybe you were just using it as an example...

No. I don't care about celebrity. However, that is the kind of press we, as transsexuals, need for acceptance. Whether we like it or not, Hollywood is America's royalty. Having someone who millions admire marry a TS woman, particularly a beautiful TS woman, would change a lot of perceptions.

Oh, whatever. I still think that old guy should give me some gold.

Good night.

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