The Transgendered Scene

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Originally Posted by alyss_heart

Often, when I find myself coming here more often than I should, I ask myself why? I have *waaay* too much to do. But the thing is, over way too many years in my "real world" life, I've eliminated almost all aspects of where I came from. Workmates, friends, etc aren't ever let in on that little aspect of my past. There are a few family members who are, but that's about it.

And all that is well and good and as it should be, but it still means that there's some little part of me that's a little out of phase with everything else - just a nagging thing in the back that won't ever go away - that there's a "difference" there that sometimes makes me feel like a huge gulf is there between me and other people. Not often, but very significant and overwhelming when it occurs.

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I must admit that I tend to identify and relate more to natal females, we
tend to have the same goals, ideals and aspirations.

Unlike the 'young' girls, I don't have transition issues. I'm not particularly
concerned about who's pumping, or when my'mones' will kick in. I'm not
thinking about how will I get my first breast augmentation, orchiectomy,
or if I will ever have SRS.

And I damn sure, ain't thinking about 'tricks or trade'.

And I'm not the older girl, who has lived the majority of their live's as
males and now in the 8th inning is attempting to transition, and is
wondering how that will work out. Will they be able to find a job, etc.

No rather, I'm just like any other 'broad out there in a sea of broads'.
I go to work, come home, piddle around the house, and lead a relatively
normal life.

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So. What do I do? I loathe the very idea of "transcommunity" - no way I'll give up my security for anything like that which has nothing to offer me and everything to take,

It allows you some of the benefit of the good aspects of occasionally interacting with people with a shared experience, but it also allows you to shun all the negative aspects of various subgroups.

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And though I may feel I have more in common with the natal female,
I still have the common origin or same starting point as my trans-sisters.
And though I am post op, there are those in society that will attempt
to lump me in the same basket.

.

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So this seems to be a place where I can .... still read what others in similar yet different paths think and feel, and I can work that into my own understanding of things and see if it works or not.

Friends? No - I'm probably old-fashioned, (or just plain old) but I still think that you need contact to cross that line from acquaintance to friend - but you can still be friendly and enjoy time with folks online and maybe, just maybe, share or receive a little insight that makes the day a little brighter.

This board doesn't seem as nice as it once was, so if I don't like it I'll go elsewhere, and if there isn't anything similar, then I'll just go back to my daily life of going to work, coming home, etc - nothing changes. But it's nice to have a place to get away to once in a while. :)

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::Re-assuming shallow and flighty persona::

*squeak*

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And sweety, if you are a mouse, you are a mouse that just roared.
Thanks for that post, you've helped me a lot, actually you've given me
a lot to think about.

Darned, those two Aly's for makinfg me think. :wink:

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Originally Posted by alyss_heart

Wow, Alison. Your post really spoke out. Usually I avoid threads like this, but it made me think.

Often, when I find..
<SNIP>

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I love this post. :)

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Originally Posted by Felicia Katt

You can't reach for the future if you are holding onto the past.

Movement is relative, to go forward means leaving things behind. As soon as you do that, you will recognize your progress, and what the rest of us already have seen, that you are someone we all would feel blessed to count as a friend.

FK

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Felicia contacted me a while back commenting on how I write, and it's little things like that which encourage me to continue. So yes, you have made a difference Felicia. ((((((((hugs))))))). :oops:

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Originally Posted by Silvester

So what you saying Alison? You're gonna stop posting?

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Not just yet. But I'm thinking about it.

Another thing about you all who have posted here. You know what it's like... when you respond to someone and it seems like they haven't noticed, and you feel a bit left out? Every post here I've read and I can't thank you enough. Really. I could respond to each one, one by one, but we end up with a screen of predictable responses just for the sake of acknowledgement. But I acknowledge ALL of you. No one is forgotton. :)

Silvester, whatsupwithat, MacShreach (I always notice), alyss_heart, Peggy, Kriss (Sorry I've been quiet), Kelly, specialk, Fox (MIT), Felicia, scorpion (always nice), BeardedOne (IM), and Irisheyes.

That always makes me feel guilty when people are forgotton for what they have said in response to something I've written. I never mean to miss people although I know I do. All I'm doing here is drawing on how it makes me feel when I post and no one answers. It's disappointing and I don't want anyone to feel that.

(((((((((hugs))))))))

Aly xx

ps. keep this going amongst each other please. The feelings of losing friends is rarely discussed. All I've ever heard in the past is the negative deeds that people have done, and it is very rare to read about how someone feels, leading through that process of recovery and onto positive thoughts. I dunno, how can one be positive about it but I know I don't like negative.

pps. The comments made about older transwomen sharpening their axes is too true, which is partly why I participate here and not elsewhere. I've been elsewhere and they're scary, they start hunting you down and stuff. That freaks the hell out of me.

But all smiles xx

Thanks Allison for sharing and starting this post. I thank everyone for thier thoughtful repsonses. And I agree wholeheartedly with Felicia's repsonse.

Friends are a precious few. We all lose some as we go through the turns of life. Luckily, we can find new ones as we pursue the special interests of our daily lives.

Beautifully written.

Random thoughts and ramblings to follow. You have been warned. :)

I've been reading and reflecting on these posts and can sympathize, to some small degree, with Alison's sadness over missing friends. In my case it was I who fled them, and not the other way 'round. Hermitism is not created by the world at large so much as by the individual hermit (Though the world is quick to lend a hand).

There are days when the mewling of the cats just doesn't fill the void of human conversation and that's what brings me online so much, particularly (In this day) to the TS/TG forums. It's difficult to say if I've formed true friendships here (As many have defined such as requiring contact/interaction beyond the transmitted word), but it's as close as I come these days and there have been a small few that I have met in person and, as yet, have not fled screaming into the night.

<Thinking> I know that I should be saying more deep and thoughtful things here, but my fingers are driven across the keys by cheap beer right now (Which I consume far too much of lately, not just the cheap stuff, but the brew as a whole).

I certainly hope that this sharing of thoughts does not lead you away from us, Alison. While it is true that the titty/bum/dick pix are what makes this particular neighborhood especially attractive to me, it is not without its intellectual and social charms and your posts would be sorely missed. I'd never have 'met' you had you not popped in with your tuppence and 'meat pies'. :wink: Few here have been so tollerant of my silly cat stories as you. :D

I know that HA has a special "Vacation" package available. Maybe you just need a break from us? But do come back, and bring pictures of all the places you've been. :)

As for Brighton...Lived there (Brighton, Massachusetts, USA 02135). Pass on it. :lol:

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Originally Posted by Arianna

. And from the age of 15, I encountered just about every type of "M2F" you could imagine. I also learned that for each one of them, there was an experience which was so intensely personal, that it was not necessarily anything that could or should be shared; that being born "male", and simply daring to be a "girl" on ANY level, was not quite enough to significantly unify us.

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Things that you and I have in common;

1. We both knew and used to hang out with Lee Brewster

2. We both have had HRT at Callen-Lourdes.

3. We both have a very low tolerance for bullshitters and liars.

Are there other things that we have in common, perhaps time will
tell.

But, one thing that is undeniably true. And that is the ignorance, bigotry,
and lack of tolerance, many in society may have for us, when our true
genders are known.

Perhaps, that is what unites us all.

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And in my lifetime I went through plenty of phases of that phenomenon myself. Now, if I see one inevitable outcome to that phenomenon, its my own SRS.

But I just know that, much like being a little boy who thought they should've been a little girl, there are no guarantees regarding who will be there with me on the other side.

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At the risk of sounding like a bad episode of Oprah or Dr. Phil, the only
person that is guarantted to be there at the end of your SRS, or I dare-
say the end of our lives, is us.

We come in this world alone, and we go out alone.

My getting SRS was never about doing it in the hopes of being more
attractive as a mate. I did it totally for me, not in the hopes that now
men or women would be more attracted to me.

Quiet as it's kept, if you can't love me for me, no matter what my genitilia
is, 'fuck you', you aren't worthy of me.

So, girlfriend I first worked on loving me, and then worried about the
possible love of others.

That was the only guaranteed love.

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Originally Posted by Silvester

Estrogen, jeez, talk about those mood swings...

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Tell me about it. I was thinking about hanging myself with the vacuum cleaner cord today from the balcony.

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Originally Posted by Silvester

FWIW, can I be your friend Alison?

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Of course. Can we meet up for lunch? I love being taken out. No sex on your mind though. I hate that when apparently friendly guys want to take me out for lunch, then try and get me into a dark corner. Take me out.

I'd like a big greasy fry up. Eggs, bacon, fried bread, toast, tomatoes, mushrooms, sausages. Yummy yummy for my tummy. Oh, and a pot of tea.

And she likes unhealthy fried foods! I like this gurl more and more with every post. :)

I've just read through the thread and Alison's original post.

Beautifully put Alison. Posts like yours make these forums worthwhile and girls like you can say the right things to make me think or brighten up my day. Thank you for posting this. I hope that we can be your friends and give you support when you need it. I hope that if you can take one thing away from this forum when you log off every night that it will be this: here you are appreciated and respected for who you are- a kind, gentle and honest girl trying her hardest to make her life better.

I've come to realise recently, after being a member for so long, what you girls go through and to admire you all the more for it. And I realise that you need a shoulder to lean on as much as we all do.

So I wish you the best in life- health, real happiness and everything you dreamt of. You deserve it all.

I hope you'll still post here, that we can still be considered your friends, even if you decide to move on. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whatever the distance between us, I- like many her- would love to be your friend. No sex involved, of course, just a nice fry-up, a walk in the park, some lunch, maybe cocktails one night or a movie. And wait till you try my cooking, too.

So even if you let go, we would love to have you back, anytime.

And you know what? I intend to stick around here for a while. I like it here in our little world away from the prying scornful eyes of those who are quick to judge us.

Thank you Alison, for brightening this little world with your light.

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Originally Posted by Arianna

....especially when at least half of the M2F's I've encountered in my life were treacherous cunts and not be trusted.

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Wow, talk about closing the six degrees of seperation. I think I know the
other half of the M2F treacherous cunts. :wink:

Yeah, we can definetely agree that there is alot of negativity in our
community, such as it is..

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Originally Posted by peggygee

But, one thing that is undeniably true. And that is the ignorance, bigotry,
and lack of tolerance, many in society may have for us, when our true
genders are known.

Perhaps, that is what unites us all.

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Originally Posted by Arianna

Thats exactly right imho. But, like our original maleness, its something that we will all hopefully get beyond in our lifetimes, much like gay people have gotten past being persecuted over their sexuality. It actually sucks to be united over something so negative, but that's where we're at.


Yet when I hear about the Gwens and the Miriams of the world, I really don't give a fuck about whether or not they were 'asking for it', as some people would like to speculate.

I just think that it sucks they could even be a position to possibly make such poor "choices" concerning who they'd keep company with. Then again, diagnosing and giving yourself the 'remedy' for gender dysphoria is usually chancy at best, and there are far too many people who never even get that far.

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My question at this point, to you, or to any one who care's to answer;

Can this situation be changed? Or are the odds so stacked up against us
that it is a hopeless situation?

Does it come down to every woman for herself, and try and make it the
best way you can?