Bulliyng people...

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Originally Posted by tsadriana

We should stop the bullys ...I dont think its normal for the 21st century someone to humiiate someone....This story affected me so much and i wasnt even bulliyed.Its someting like we should do..WHEN WE SEE A RAT BULLIYNG SOMEONE TO PUNCH HIS FACE...

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I may be totally naive but I don't think beating the crap out of a bully is as likely to change the demons within a person that makes them bully.

It may feel really good to put a physical whooping on a bully, but if one can reach a bully and make them have empathy with their victim, that awareness of the damage bullying causes and that by the grace of God it could have been the bully rather than his/her victim would go further to impact real change in that person.

Just my take

When I was in school (back when the earth's crust cooled - the 60's & 70's) paddling by teachers had ended but the principal still could (3rd person in room to verify also). If a child was misbehaving all the teacher needed to say is "do you want to go to the office" where this really mean looking paddle was in the hallway window. The kid would go bolt upright in their chair and reply "No Mam". The school had good control on the kids.

Bullying and similar activity wasn't tolerated, outside of school there was teasing but parental control was pretty good.

We have now gone pretty wishy washy on the enforcement of the rules and laws, meanwhile we have gazillions of new rules and laws not enforced.


Whooping a bully doesn't change behavior but punishing one for bad behavior can change them. Interestingly, Canada now has tougher enforcement and swifter justice. They have less problems with such behavior.

Bullying has scarred me for life, from various kids and from one instance of corporal punishment by a teacher. In retrospect I think he got his jollies from hitting kids and that was ok for him because he was a vicar. The reason for the punishment was that I'd brought the wrong colour notebook to class (should have been the dark green one not the dark blue one - I wrote on the blank centre page so later I could transcribe it into the other book).

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Originally Posted by fivekatz

I may be totally naive but I don't think beating the crap out of a bully is as likely to change the demons within a person that makes them bully.

It may feel really good to put a physical whooping on a bully, but if one can reach a bully and make them have empathy with their victim, that awareness of the damage bullying causes and that by the grace of God it could have been the bully rather than his/her victim would go further to impact real change in that person.

Just my take

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Oh good god...Yeah, ok, Oprah!

Responding to bullying with violence will only perpetuate it.
It is a learned behavior. Someone who sees you as different or weaker picks on you, and in turn you find others weaker or different to take out that hostility on.
Beating up a bully may get them to stop bothering you,but it will not stop them from finding others to bully...
My father was a bully. Vietnam Era Marine,abused by his parents,and like a lot of Vets he had no job to look forward to or anything. We were on Welfare,and he turned to dealing drugs. He took any jobs he could get...he sold Avon,brushes door to door...anything. I was the victim of all his frustrations,as was my sister to a lesser extent. When I reached my early teens and could finally fight back,he went after my sister more. My dad didn't just go after us though....ANYONE he saw as weak or undeserving of whatever he thought he should have suffered. The violence was contained within the family,the verbal and emotional abuse was not. I was lucky that I never became a bully per se,but not so lucky because all the anger and hostility is still there...
My father gave me PTSD,severe chronic depression,anxiety,social phobia,and a severe lack of impulse control when my temper flares. I ended up picking fights with people bigger and stronger than me...Instead of being your typical bully,I ended up being a different kind completely. To make things worse, I didn't have the luxury of being able to get away from the situation. People in school wanted to pick fights because I was from a rival school,I was the new kid,and I was ill suited for any normal social interaction....Fighting was an everyday thing for me,sometimes more than one a day. Then, I got to go home and be the "troublemaker" that was always wrong and the source of all my fathers problems (his words). I can't count the number of times he told me he hated me and what I "made him do". I've learned to control my temper over the years,but honestly,it takes more energy than anyone knows....It's an everyday war with myself. I may no longer get violent,but the verbal factor is still there,as is the emotional. I lack the faculties to get rid of it permanently,I was raised to handle problems in ways "normal" people were not. Even when I'm not upset you can tell something is "off" about me. I don't act like other people my age or even other people in general. Some people will tell you I'm Evil, others will say I'm just a nice guy and misunderstood.....but the truth is the bullies in my life won,and there wasn't a single thing I was ever taught to get me past that or let it go.

Look folks, life is what it is, people are how they are and that's the end of it. It's not fair and expecting it to be is naive. You either deal with it or you don't. You either survive or you don't. Every minute you spend complaining about it or making excuses in the face of it is a minute of your life you've wasted.

only one option for bullys......

Bully Beatdown Season 3 Episode 6, Bully Mike VS. Eddie Alvarez - YouTube

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Originally Posted by ghbryans1

Look folks, life is what it is, people are how they are and that's the end of it. It's not fair and expecting it to be is naive. You either deal with it or you don't. You either survive or you don't. Every minute you spend complaining about it or making excuses in the face of it is a minute of your life you've wasted.

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A good point, life isn't fair!

Life may be what it is but there is always room for improvement, bullying suppresses or harms its victims, potentially making them less sociable, less positive and consequently less contributory to society.

Bullying (which is what we're talking about on this thread) is not an acceptable behaviour and there are ways of tackling this through education and victim support, providing confidential channels etc. to help free people who suffer actual bodily harm or mental harm (sometimes after years of abuse) from those perpetrators. Those victims are not necessarily capable of getting to the help they need and may require an intervention.

So every minute you spend highlighting the harm done by bullying and promoting things like this:

http://www.bullyingawarenessweek.org/

is a minute well-spent ;) :geek:

I remember the neighborhood bullies growing up....you'd find out their dads were beating on them, one way or another.

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Originally Posted by Jericho

Oh good god...Yeah, ok, Oprah!

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Well may be it is a long shot but if parents and those charged with dealing with the young and adolescent could make bullies feel the emotions of shame that they inflict on their victims that just may go a lot further than smack in chops.

Clearly corporal punishment often just leads to the receiver looking dish some back out. That was the point I was trying to get at, perhaps not very articulately but if bullies understood the humiliation and it is framed in a way that they could emphatic to just how bad that feels we might see a change.

Also if peer groups could be educated to see bullies for what they are that might be a powerful deterrent, but kicking the snot out of a bully may feel good at the moment but it does little iMO to change the behavior.

Yours,

O