Originally Posted by lochaber
not exactly clearing things up here, but I think two questions are necessary to throw this into perspective:
1.) how do you define 'work'?
is it based on a set amount of time 'together'?
is it based on some arbitrary level of commitment?
-get married?
-move in together?
-something else?
2.) do you think relationships work?
not to come across as facetious, but how many relationships work, period?(gg/m, m/m, gg/gg, ts/m, ts/gg, ts/ts, whatever combos omitted...)
You frequently hear the stat (no idea about the accuracy of it...) that ~50% of marriages end in divorce. but, for each marriage, there was likely a handful of relationships preceding that marriage (for either partner) that didn't 'work'. And even after that, ~1/2 of those marriages don't 'work' (and who's to say that every couple who doesn't get divorced has a 'working' marriage?)
Not trying to pick fights or anything here, so please don't take this that way. I'm just reminded of my time in college, when I had a couple friends in 'open' relationships. No one every really said anything directly to them, but behind their backs, it was frequently whispered that open relationships don't 'work'. I was still a bit sheltered at the time, so this made sense to me then, but later when I looked back on it, I don't think any of the nay-sayers remained in a relationship with the same person, so I began to wonder if any relationship 'works'.
Again, not trying to pick a fight or cause trouble or anything, but to a certain extent, I think the OP's question needs some qualifiers in there...