Goodbye

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Originally Posted by seanchai

Respectfully, it's not the adult industry which is causing the problems per se. Many, many, many of the TS girls have mental issues before coming into the industry or even transitioning (I'd welcome a study on the amount girls transitioning with pre-existing issues other than their transgenderism).

The adult industry in terms of photo/video shoots is actually quite supportive and open - but girls expect that the industry is going to a) financially support them more even though they are informed otherwise and b) lead onto greater things or greater recognition - which it may or may not.

There are models who can take it - and those who because of false expectations, cannot but in my experience it's not the adult industry causing these issues but the fact that many of the girls have depression, self-esteem and/or other issues before they come into it.

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Just to amplify Prospero's comments, Seanchai. I recognise that in many if not most cases it's the emotional baggage and agony of working through being transgendered in the first place that causes problems for girls when they get into the industry. I don't want to delve too deep, but that was certainly a huge contributory factor for Miranda.

And as he also said, I hope she finds peace and a break from all her troubles. She's a sweet soul who deserves a lot better from the world.

And I applaud your suggestion about using the positive power of this forum to take practical steps to help girls in trouble. It might be via cyberspace but I'd be honoured to be involved.

Wish you all the best Miranda.

I hope you're ok, Miranda. You seem pretty awesome to me.

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Originally Posted by seanchai

Respectfully, it's not the adult industry which is causing the problems per se. Many, many, many of the TS girls have mental issues before coming into the industry or even transitioning (I'd welcome a study on the amount girls transitioning with pre-existing issues other than their transgenderism).

The adult industry in terms of photo/video shoots is actually quite supportive and open - but girls expect that the industry is going to a) financially support them more even though they are informed otherwise and b) lead onto greater things or greater recognition - which it may or may not.

There are models who can take it - and those who because of false expectations, cannot but in my experience it's not the adult industry causing these issues but the fact that many of the girls have depression, self-esteem and/or other issues before they come into it.

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Regardless of ones mental state before starting work in the industry, work such as being a model/escort puts you on peoples radar and your going to get attention be it good or bad. It increases the chance of both, at the start you will get a hgiher percentage of bad compared to say 5 years down the line. To say its a cause is not right, but it definitely amplifies things.

I think its fair to say "many of us" get plenty of "not very flattering" comments in the early transition days. Thats a down side, a plus side is having got ballsdeep in the industry at that stage, and getting through the shitchucking stage (well most of it, it still comes, it always does if your put in a focal point) is that it really is one of the best things you can do to help speed up transition, financially etc.

I am fortunate to be a close friend of a very good pyschologist who has helped me through the bad times and I would advise that kind of help is a road any girl should try take to try help you. Another thing is patience, everything takes time, transiton, your look, how you feel about yourself, business, clients, popularity/fanbase and in my case family etc etc..:|

I know, this is porn site and forum, not LGBT supporting one, but in my opinion we are all here because we like or love tgirls. All girls here are rare jewels and very special for us. They are humans and many of them go through many difficulties and bitterness. Even if we disagree with them, we have to respect them as persons.

Maybe it is utopical thought, but it would be right, that girls in hard times turn here for advice or help, not run away. Who knows, how many of them are actually alone. Point is, that when someone show problems and hard times, it is detected and helping hand is given.

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Originally Posted by Wendy Summers

While the Industry doesn't cause the problems, I think the visibility of being an adult performer does take a significant toll on a person regardless of whether they have other issues.

Put yourself in MTF transsexual shoes for a minute. You spend your life with societal messages that we're crazy for thinking we're women. Those closest to you often have the most difficult time with you transitioning and send some of the most hurtful messages.

Then you enter Adult.

You start getting tens to hundreds of messages a day from guys telling you are beautiful, amazing, etc. If you're not prepared for it, it can be intoxicating. You start hearing the things you've wanted to hear your whole life -- that you are a beautiful woman. Sadly it's not a self-esteem born from inside yourself, so the buzz will never last.

Then come that haters - sometimes it's other women - sometimes it's guys -- all the time they are trolls. They'll say things to tear a model down for whatever reason. Again, if you're not braced for this it can hit hard.

It's a roller coaster.

At least once a week I get a message from a TS woman wanting to be a performer - my advice is always consistent: unless you are well grounded and know in your heart of hearts who you are, don't get mixed up in this shit. It can destroy a person. The Capital "I" Industry won't cause it, but it still is a function of the porn world we live in.

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I strongly agree.

Many girls come to me about wanting to get in the industry and ask me anything they can think of, but most of the time they don't ask the proper questions. So I lay it out for them very realistically. Breaking into the industry and maintaining stability in it is just like wanting to be a Navy Seal. If one is not self trained enough physically and mentally, one will fail and not become a Navy Seal. Ending up as an Electronic Technician or Gunnersmate.

Yes, as a tgirl, we do have some issues with our mentality dealing with our difficult transition. Every girl who has come to me asking to help them into the industry or even just advice about it usually are quite young ( 18-21 ) and/or mentally naive due to not having the proper knowledge.

I always tell them that one MUST be stable. That's the very first thing I harp on. Stable in life, transition, and financially able to undergo what doing porn requires.

The next thing I highly stress on is their transition, why they want to do adult work, and about patience. Many girls are not well informed about the facets of their transition, especially mentally, when considering adult work. They have stars in their eyes and can only see the outside glorified portion. They don't understand fully, the big hidden things we have to do to, in the very least, make it into the industry and maintain a stable career in it. Having an "it factor" plays a small part. The bigger player is how comfortable one is with their transition, how long have they been transitioning, and how much stability they have with sustaining they're transition even if one gets into porn.

As Wendy mentions, the visibility while being in porn is hugely underrated. Those girls looking to break in simply do not see it, because they haven't truly had any visibility. Once a girl gets in, she still has stars in her eyes but doesn't take into account her early transition, and negative/hateful comments enlarge exponentially the grief a girl comes under.

A new girl in the industry only has one thing to show, her debut. Without backing by oneself with skills, or others close by who are reliable with skills to help her out, it becomes very hard to expand on her work. Many factors play a part in this... I.E. living to far from LA, living in a high cost of living area, not having any means to any end, no back-up plan, no valuable skills... to name a few....

I have touched on this a bit in a Vlog I made for my channel and plan to make a whole video solely for the purpose of instruction to help out with collaboration from other stable transgirls.

To view this "touch" I made, watch the video below and I start talking about it at time stamp 5:25 ---

Condoms, Goals, and Porn Prospects - YouTube

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Originally Posted by seanchai

Respectfully, it's not the adult industry which is causing the problems per se. Many, many, many of the TS girls have mental issues before coming into the industry or even transitioning (I'd welcome a study on the amount girls transitioning with pre-existing issues other than their transgenderism).

The adult industry in terms of photo/video shoots is actually quite supportive and open - but girls expect that the industry is going to a) financially support them more even though they are informed otherwise and b) lead onto greater things or greater recognition - which it may or may not.

There are models who can take it - and those who because of false expectations, cannot but in my experience it's not the adult industry causing these issues but the fact that many of the girls have depression, self-esteem and/or other issues before they come into it.

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i think its real naive to think that sex work doesnt have an effect on ones mental and emotional self.
im a sex worker and would consider myself a sex positive feminist but im not going to sugar coat shit.this life is a hard one filled with many pitfalls and obstacles to watch out for. If the girl is smart shes going to do her best to avoid the dangers that cling to this industry but its impossible to avoid them all and it takes a very strong person to endure unchanged.
you can try to blame it on the issues associated with GID (and im not saying there arent) but we also see gg escorts/strippers/pornstars struggle with the industry and the impact it has on their life

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Originally Posted by SammiValentine

Regardless of ones mental state before starting work in the industry, work such as being a model/escort puts you on peoples radar and your going to get attention be it good or bad. It increases the chance of both, at the start you will get a hgiher percentage of bad compared to say 5 years down the line. To say its a cause is not right, but it definitely amplifies things.

I think its fair to say "many of us" get plenty of "not very flattering" comments in the early transition days. Thats a down side, a plus side is having got ballsdeep in the industry at that stage, and getting through the shitchucking stage (well most of it, it still comes, it always does if your put in a focal point) is that it really is one of the best things you can do to help speed up transition, financially etc.

I am fortunate to be a close friend of a very good pyschologist who has helped me through the bad times and I would advise that kind of help is a road any girl should try take to try help you. Another thing is patience, everything takes time, transiton, your look, how you feel about yourself, business, clients, popularity/fanbase and in my case family etc etc..:|

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Wise words as ever, Sammi. It's all good and that final para is absolutely bang on; you are indeed fortunate to have that sort of support access. Across the water it's both the cost and the ability to get to psychological advice that makes it so difficult for girls when they are at their most fragile. It takes enormous personal strength and determination to get through those earliest stages of transition, and it seems certain that nobody comes through it unscathed.

And I guess that when some of us complain on HA about some of the moronic and insensitive comments that posters all too often aim at the girls, that's merely the tip of the iceberg in comparison to the kind of abuse you'll get elsewhere.

Being transgendered is no joke, and when you hear bigots describe it as a lifestyle choice it makes me want to strangle them. Idiots.

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Originally Posted by robertlouis

... that's merely the tip of the iceberg in comparison to the kind of abuse you'll get elsewhere.

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Too true. I saw a transsexual - (albeit a very camp one)v... today in Oxford street and a group of office guys were yelling quite horrible remarks at her.