Originally Posted by Shining Star
Sex After Post-Op
Much of the studies done on post-op transexuals do not offer much hope that the operation makes anyone more "happy" or at ease with themselves than before. In fact so much of the opposite was becoming known places like the Harry Benjamin Center, pioneers in TS work, stopped doing the operation.
If the stated medical goal of putting a TS through hormones, and various operations was for them to lead happy lives as "St8" women or men, then by a long shot, according to studies the process is a failure. Why?
A high percentage of post-op MTF's enter into lesbian realtionships. Studies vary as to the exact amount and weahter or not this attraction to women was there all the time, or weather such transgendered women cannot find a male "st8" partner. What is obvious is that the males in the transgender community by and large wish to have a pre-op transgendered person ,if any when it comes to a relationship/sex, and St* men seek GGs.
One group of post op TS's however do end up "happy"; and report the most "well adjusted"; and that is the group many in the TS community label "men in dresses". TS women who change later in life (usually after marrying and having children/reaching middle age), are happiest. Unlike some younger girls, their image is not tied into their looks and the scene/man chasing. They fully realise they may forever be called "a man" when walking down the street, but they do suffer from a profound unhappiness with their current gender, and are willing to accept the trade-offs for some peace of mind.
Oh, there is also the trannie "urban myth" that many post-ops go "crazy" because they no longer can have orgasms. While many post op girls do report having orgasms, including several I know; most of those same girls wouldn't tell me the sky was blue if the sun was out in daylight.
These are probably one of the greatest factors in many girls choosing to remain "non-op". You only have to look at the post op girls who switch from Eros Ts section to the GG section and what they go through to get an idea.
"WhatsUpWithDat"
A cool tall drink of water like yourself shouldn't worry (not that you are), about what people think. A girl (GG or TS) that lands a man such as yourself with a good outlook on life/things should be happy. May have to send my picture over to your MySpace site and apply for a postion should an opening come along! *LOL*
Bottom line is transgendered persons, and those that love them are going to have a bit longer hauling the heavy load. While gay male, in particular white gay male population and lesbians are making huge strides in terms of social acceptance (who ever thought you'd hear "his husband' uttered with such ease as one heard on the subway the other day, but there we are.
However will say I know of one or two transgendered women (pre-op) who are living quite happy lives here in NYC, with long term partners (male). One is a nurse and the other a social worker. Like many gay couples in NYC< they simply go about their business as if everything is normal, because to them it is, and that is what matters.
Think many transgendered girls, especially the young ones, take up residence in Pity Me Pines Apartments, and blame the world for forcing them into "working", and resenting the men they attract because they in fact don't like themselves. But guess what, this is 2007, not 1977 or even 1987; and it does warm my heart to see some young transgirls strolling around NYU's campus behaving exactly like young students should.
A long time ago, I decided I was not going to let what I was stand in my way of making the most of my life. Have I made mistakes? Sure, who hasn't in their lives, but just like those people who are born with a severe handicap or badly disabled later in life, you have two choices; you can get busy living or get busy dying. Someone doesn't like me because I am a TS. Fine, they don't pay my rent, and quite honestly aside from my family and a few close friends, I don't give a rat's butt what people "think" of me anyway. Just keep out of my way and don't even think of starting any trouble, and we'll get along fine. *LOL*
As for the men who date trannies: Well many of you need to pick a team. Can you imagine how it makes anyone feel; gay, straight, trannie, male or female when the only time you will see them is indoors and really only for sex? Worse to be ignored or cut in public by the same man who was on your trade the night before like a monkey on a cupcake. Like many transgendered girls I've had my share of winners. Calls at 1am in the morning from some guy who wants to come over because "I'm in your neighborhood", or finding out a guy you have been seeing is getting married/moving in with his GF: only to call you several weeks later to "come over and play". Heck I've had them call me on their first day back after the honeymoon, or even better while their wife is in labour having THEIR baby.