Condoms and Pizza

For all the people who say that sex with a condom is "no different," I want to tell you about how I eat pizza.

NYC has a bunch of great pizza places. So I'll head downtown to grab a slice from time to time, and I always take a big plastic bag and my stapler along with me.

"2 plain slices to go, buddy." "Sure, pal, here ya go, enjoy -- HEY, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Sometimes the pizza guy looks at me strange and gets upset b/c of how I eat my pizza. Here's what I do: I whip out my plastic bag and shove it all the way down my throat. Then I staple it to my lips.

See, that way, I get all that great *pizza mastication experience* w/o any of the taste! Try it, it works! :wink:

Funniest.thing.I've.ever.read.

Thanks for that.

Holy shit I can't stop laughing.

Seriously.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

It's funny because it's TRUE.

On the plus side you don't have to be as concerned in case you just fucked a slice of pizza that had AIDS and didn't tell you about it. Do you really dislike condoms so much that picking up an STD doesn't matter to you?

To the poster who wonders if I hate condoms so much that I would be willing to risk disease. No. But neither would I be willing to miss the exquisite sensations of sex. I hate condoms with a passion. So what's the solution?

Like most solutions to *terrible* problems it's more than a little inconvienent. But here it is: before I'll have sex with someone new, I'll set a date for us to go to one of NYC's hyper-efficient, extremely reliable testing centers. And I pay for all of it. Test for *everything.*

How romantic. And there's still a *minimal* risk involved. But with the better, more expensive testing, the risk (esp. of HIV) is vanishingly small.

The sex is worth it.

the *minimal* risk- meaning...
the chance that she or he could have contracted the virus in the last three months, thus being untraceable by the test?

a true trans maven knows that most of these bitches fuck a lil too much in 3months to hope for the best on that one.

amen Alyssa... now transmaven go fuck your pizza

I don't think you can die from a slice of pizza (okay maybe if you choked)...

its way different