My story, the Conclusion Part One: Deanna

Okay, Now of all the girls Deanna was my favorite. But like all the other girls she was badly messed up too. After I had been forced to kick them all out, Deanna was the one I had stayed closest too, she would show up occasionally on my doorstep, usually just to sleep. I would occasionally let her stay over when I was working with the understanding that if she left, to only come back when I was home to buzz her up.

I would also get the occasional phone call asking me to come by and pick her up from wherever her usual tryst was. She favorited a motel for her higher paying tricks, and I would usually go and pick her up. And take her back downtown, she would give me a couple buck for gas for the trouble. But that way I knew she was okay and didn't have to worry about her all that much, out of all the girls she was the one who had her head on the straightest, (which was not much all things considering.)

we've only ever had two major fights. The first was one day I had come home and found her with another guy ON MY COUCH!!!

I told them to both get the fuck out. Which they did. Deanna came back later that night to collect her stuff. And some of the most hateful and vilest things anyone ever said to me came out of her mouth.
I didn't say anything to her, just let her get her stuff. I asked her if she had all her stuff, and she had so worked herself up into a lather, that she got really pissed off at me and pulled her knife on me.

Now Deanna loves knives, the last time she had spent any major time in jail, was because she had knifed a guy. She'd done a nickel in the federal system for that.

She came right up to me with the knife in her hand and asked me if I didn't believe that she'd stab me right then and there.

I just calmly looked her in the eye put my arms behind my back and simply asked her that after everything I've done for her, all the help I'd given her, that she would do this to me. We both just stood there for a moment neither one of us backing down. Finally she turned around and finished packing her things.

I was grateful for her turning around so she didn't see the relief and absolute stark terror on my face.

Again I should have just let her leave and have nothing to do with her anymore. After that little scene It would have been the smartest thing to do.

But as she was walking past me, I reached out and grabbed her around her stomach and asked her to come here, and she just broke down sobbing. She said she was sorry for pulling the knife on me and how she would never hurt me, she was just so confused and messed up. And how I was the best thing that ever happened to her and how all the girls said she was a fool the let me go, and it was just so hard and she tries but never seems to get anywhere and she was sorry.
We talked for a long time that night. I told her I loved her still, and would move heaven and earth for her, but until she finally decided to try and kick her habits there was nothing I could do to help her.

We went on that way for some time. I met her mother, as her mother had moved back from up north. And Deanna stayed with her more than with me. Now her mother was not the best person for Deanna to be around, as she was a crack addict too. Many's the time when Deanna and her would have a fight and Deanna would come over to my place to stew.

She would go on about how her mother just used her for money for drugs,cigarettes and booze. I would patiently listen to her but when they were both straight they were an okay family. Her mother always would cook a little something for me when I would come over to visit. And since I can't cook to save my life, I usually visited a lot :lol:

It was always hard for me with Deanna. Many times she would come over all bloody, from being beaten by a trick who figured out she was not a girl. I always told her to press charges but she never would, she would simply say that she had friends who would take care of things for her. I never wanted to learn anymore about THAT...

then one day the hardest part for me was when an old jail house boyfriend was let out, and she came over to my place all bubbly about how she loved him so and how GREAT it was that he was back in her life etc etc, etc.

I simply made sure I wasn't available for her at the time, because she wanted me to help him like I had done for her, and I just couldn't have taken that. But she was happy and I figured that maybe if he had gotten his shit straight, he would be good for her. Before anything else I just wanted a better life for her and that she would be happy.

Then one day her and her new boyfriend came over to my place, I let them up, he was a big fellow. Shaved head, and all muscles and tats. He had brought her to my place because a trick had broken her arm and she wouldn't go to the hospital to get it looked at. He was hoping that I could convince her.

I took a quick look at the arm and found it to be a clean break for both bones in the forearm. The arm would sometimes flop around at the break and she would blanch white from the pain, but she never complained. I did an emergency split to her arm and got it slung. She simply asked me to take her home to her mothers place. Both of us tried to convince her to go to the emergency room. But she would have none of it. She hates hospitals with a passion. I got them into my car and started driving but she soon saw where i was heading. I thought maybe i could sneak her to the hospital. But she would have none of it, she yelled at me to pull over and let her out, her boyfriend started yelling at her that she needed to see a doctor and they started fighting in my car.

Now i was tired and cranky and getting more short tempered by the second, and I finally lost it. It was the only time I ever raised my voice to her but i just yelled that if she wasn't going to do the smart thing then just get the hell out of my car!

She got out and her boyfriend simply said thanks I know you tried and got out to to chase after her.

Her mother finally convinced her to go to a walk-in clinic and the next time I saw her her arm had been properly cast. I also learned that her boyfriend had violated his curfew that night and so had been sent back inside because it was a parole violation.

A few weeks later she told me how her mother was going back up north and how she would be going with her, she was sick and tired of her lifestyle and hoping that she could get into a treatment program up there and finally get clean. I encouraged her to do so. So one day her uncle who lives up north, decided to come down and take her and her mother back up with them. She came over to say goodbye and hugged me and thanked me for everything I had done for her. I told her how i was proud of her for finally trying to get ahold of her problem and that I wished her the best of luck. Her taxi came for her and she kissed me goodbye and left. And I have to admit that I would miss her terribly.

Later that night my phone rang, waking me up. It was the police.

The constable asked me if I knew a Deanna. I told her I did. The Constable informed me that they had picked her up drunk on the street and that Deanna had said that she knew me, and if I called me they could drop her off at my place. The constable was simply calling to find out if this was true. I told them I would be happy to let her stay at my place. The constable told me that they would be at my place in about ten minutes.

I went down and waited for them and sure enough, they pulled up a few minutes later. There were two police officers, a man and a woman. The female officer got out and let Deanna out of the car, turned her around and let her out of her cuffs. She told Deanna to go inside and not be anymore trouble to anyone. I guided Deanna up the steps to my apartment building. The female officer said that I was a good friend. I told her I just did my best.

From what I could gather later was that her mother never told her brother that Deanna was a transgender and when finally introduced to one another they were civil enough to each other, but as the booze flowed he got rude to her and so they started fighting. So much so that the hotel security came up and told them to be quiet or they would all be asked to leave, and so he told them to escort Deanna out of the building.

Humans...

So her mother went up north and Deanna was left behind.

Now as I said Deanna would occasionally come over and stay at my place. One day she rang up and said that the landlord wasn't letting her in the building. I turned on the TV and went to the security channel and sure enough he was standing in the doorway, Deanna tried to go past him and he shoved her back from the door. I didn't see anymore because I was already on my way down to the front door.

I got there and asked him what the hell he thought I was doing. He said that I knew that Lana wasn't allowed into the building anymore, and I told him fine but that this was Deanna. His eyes grew wide at that and said he was sorry. I also told him that I saw him push her and that if he ever touched one of my friends again I would press assault charges against him. He said that I would have to prove that, I told him I would be more than happy to show him the video tape of him right now as I record the door footage for security purposes. (keep in mind that this was a total bluff) he backed off and apologized.

A few weeks later the same thing happened this time it was with the building janitorial crew. They were a gay male couple who cleaned the building in return for a very minor decrease in there rent. I saw that Rose and Deanna were both down there. And again a shoving match occurred. I went down there and let Deanna and Rose up into my apartment. But this time the police were called.

They showed up and I waited for them. I told them what had happened. The janitorial crew gave there version of what had happened as well. I loved how they said during giving there statements how they weren't prejudiced but...

Now if I had been dealing with older or more experienced officers things would have ended more smoothly, but I got a fresh newbie right out of boot just itching to prove his mettle. He asked me if I knew the girls were hookers, i said that that wasn't the point of what was going on right now. He asked me if I saw nothing wrong with hanging out with hookers. I looked the little shit right in the eye and said no. he told me as of right now they weren't allowed here anymore. I told him no. He looked so surprised at that. I told him that we both know that the landlord has to issue to me in writing a letter stating that these people cannot be in the building. And until I received said letter that they could come up to my place as long as I was home and buzzed them up. And that I could dispute the letter with the government rental body which can take weeks.

He then asked me for ID I gave him my drivers license and let him run his little power game as My record is as pure as the driven snow. He looked disappointed when nothing came back. He told me that if he was called back here again he would arrest me for obstruction, to which I told him that he knew he couldn't do that either. I then pointed to the lobby security cam and told him that the thing picks up sound ( it doesn't) and since I record all security footage I will probably get in touch with his staff Sergeant and let him listen to the conversation we just had. It amused me to no end how when I raised my arm to point to the camera his hand automatically went to his gun. Well I suppose he should have felt threatened sine i had about a half foot on him and out massed him by about a hundred pounds. Anyways he gave me back my license with the caution that I don't want him back here to which I replied “I truly don't”

Now in my youth I wanted to be a cop. To joined the RCMP in fact, but my experience with police down the line made me glad I never did because my opinion of them is little better than the criminals they arrest. They are sadly a necessary evil in this world. But they are there to look after property and people who own things. They are not there to look after people like Deanna. Or me.

Oh and the letter from the landlord arrived the next day...

A few months later, Deanna had hooked up with yet another loser, they would sleep in his car, and she would complain to me how he would make her go hooking to get money for him! At this point I really didn't care that much, she made her choices, and I just made sure she had a meal every now and then. And patched up her hurt when she was beaten.

Then one day I got a call from her. It was late at night she told me she had been arrested for assault, and she was hoping I could come down and pick up her stuff from lock-up for her as she didn't trust the cops. I went down and got her stuff. I asked the desk sergeant what she had been charged with and he told me assault with a deadly weapon, possession of an illegal weapon and attempted murder.

Oh boy.

When I went to visit her in jail she told me how her new beau had made her turn tricks and she never laid a hand on him how he must have gotten someone else to hurt him...

*sigh*

So I would visit her as often as I could. And the sad fact for me was how well she did behind bars. Her skin cleared up, her outlook improved and she gained some much needed weight. She didn't like being behinds bars. I tried to make her court dates, in the hope of asking the judge to get her into a mandatory drug and alcohol treatment program.

In the end though she lucked out. The guy she allegedly stabbed couldn't be found, and never made the court dates he was supposed to. So her case was thrown out.

She had spent a total of three months behind bars. And when she got out she moved back in with her mother.

Her mother...

Now as I said before, her mother wasn't the best person for her to hang around with. But she now had a worthless boyfriend.

A boy friend who beat her...

now her mothers current paramour was two things: a deadbeat loser AND a shit disturber. (and a Coward like so many abusers are.)

Deanna's first day out at her mothers place (her mother had moved in with her boyfriend) he had called the police because he said he caught her smoking crack, to which her and her mother both denied.

This coming from a guy whole smoked marijuana by the bag full...

Deanna came and stayed at my place, but then she got a call from her mother crying because he had beaten her.

I drove her over there myself hoping I could contain the situation.

Angry word flew, fists flew but never landed because I put myself between them. Her mothers boyfriend told me to get them both out of his place. So we put everything of her mothers in my van and I drove them back to my place. Her mother was apologetic saying she was sorry she dragged me into the middle of all this. I just asked her why she never called the police on him, to which she replied she was no rat...

so I let deanna's mom have the bedroom and Deanna and I took the couch. That same night Deanna started to kiss me and fondle me. I suppose it was for helping her with her mother. Either way I didn't care. I just wanted to be with her. Unfortunately we were halfway into starting things when her mother came out of the bedroom....

yeah, that pretty much killed the mood for both of us...

the next day Deanna's mom moved back in with her boyfriend as he said he was sorry and that he would be moving out and she could have the apartment.

I told her that I would not come the the rescue next time. And that we both knew there would be a next time.

Fortunately his own stupidity stepped in saving me the trouble. Apparently he owed his dealer a large debt and he came to collect. When I had gotten her back to her boyfriends place the door was kicked in and he was nursing and impressive black eye. He also looked scared shitless.

He moved into his brothers place the next day.

By this time I was getting tired of the city I was living in. the rent was insane, the work was crap and I just wasn't happy, so When Deanna was in jail I talked with her about moving with me to Vancouver. She was happy at the Idea and we made many plans when i talked with her.

But all this went out the window when she got out. She more than happily went back to her old lifestyle.

Now none of the girls were allowed at my place at all, but I didn't like the landlord so I would sneak them up, just to get a little back at them.

But the understanding was only them and only when I was here. So when I came back to my place and found Deanna and another street friend of hers I lost it.

And so did Deanna.

Now I was in the middle of my tirade asking her why she would disrespect me like this, when she hauled off and gave me one hell of a left hook. It connected solidly with my jaw and snapped my head around. And I was shocked. She tried to follow up with a right cross but i was able to avoid that and she just glanced a blow off my cheek, tearing it open with the ring on her hand. So I'm standing there woozy from the blows, blood streaming down my cheek, and all i can do is ask her why she would do that to me. I was in shock more than anything else. Before that moment I would have never believed you if you told me that she would hit me, hell she could have gutted me like a fish but she didn't.

She left the apartment all full of swagger the self satisfied smirk on her face sickened me. And I just gave up on her in that moment. She could go to hell for all I cared in that moment.

Now folks let me tell you something

Karma is REAL!

And it is very much a bitch...

a few days later, I got a call around 11 PM. It was Lana. She had called to tell me that Deanna had been badly beaten with a baseball bat and that she was in the emergency room. I told her why should I care and hung up.

But...

about an hour later I was at the hospital, sitting beside her bed. She looked like hell, big black eyes, her hands had horrible defensive wounds to them from trying to shield herself from the bats. They hadn't cleaned the blood from her face and I hardly recognized her. I asked Lana what happened and she told me Deanna had held a little party at a motel and when her johns realized they were not with a girl they lost it. Lana had found her wandering in a daze and had gotten her to the hospital. I felt a little bad as


I had wished for something bad to happen to her but not like this...

she floated in and out of consciousness. Lana had left as she needed to be back at the shelter or they would give away her bed. And so I remained at Deanna's bedside. Around 6 am I called my boss and told him that I would not be into work that day as I had to take care of a sick friend. The Doctors came in and told me that there were no signs of any major body,head or brain trauma. And that they would clean her up, bandage her wounds and release her into my care.

I wheeled her out to my vehicle, and helped her into it. I asked if she felt hungry, and in a quiet voice she said yes. So we went to the closest McDonalds. And I bought her breakfast.

We sat and ate our food in silence. She Finally said in between bite fulls that she was sorry.

I knew what she meant, I told her I forgave her, and besides, she hit like a girl...

She gave a little laugh at that, which turned into a grimace of pain. I drove her home to my place and got her upstairs.

I was just so tired of it all. Fortunately all my problems were solved when the eviction notice came...

but it wasn't related to the girls at all. The apartment building owners were going condo and were evicting everyone (including the landlords...) I also had a rental increase of 180 dollars per month for the year I had left if I chose to stay.

I did not.

Like I said, I was tired of it all and needed a change. So I gave my months notice, gave away everything and moved out at the end of the month.

Now after she had hit me, my relationship with Deanna was irrevocably changed. I was now on guard all the time with her, and I simply didn't feel like being around her anymore. No matter how much I cared for her.

Sadly her mother found out she had inoperable cancer, and was leaving to spend the remainder of her time with her family up north so with me leaving she had no one. On my final day in town I went to see her. She was in her mothers old apartment, till the end of the month then she would have no place to stay, she was staying there with her very femme new boyfriend who she had met this last time in jail.

I went up and hugged her good bye. And then hopped into my vehicle and left.

And that was the end of that.

I still think about her a lot, and I do think about going back but only time will tell what happens.