Do I have to "walk a mile?"
So many threads talk about not being able to understand the transexual and her transition without "walking a mile in her shoes."
Let's first just look at GGs:
Did I have to grow up playing with Barbie, watching "Jem," planning my wedding, playing cat's cradle, pat-a-cake, hopscotch, jacks or house (actually did that :D someone had to play the husband) to understand any girl I dated? NO
Did I have to listen to all their stories about past bad relationships, experiences and family issues to better understand the person they are? YES (remember this, all girls have phonographic memories and you better well remember what they told you--they will quiz you. :roll: )
Let's now take a look at TGs:
Do any of the above answers change? NO
Are there other considerations? YES
I don't think I need to "walk a mile in her shoes" to understand her. I need to actively listen to her concerns and life experiences, and I need to empathize as best I can.
This is true for all relationships no matter what kind. When I meet new people, we often talk about the things we did and watched as children. I find it fascinating the differences that something as simple as the after-school programs or Saturday afternoon movies can make in the development of a person's outlook in life (I had "Leave It to Beaver" reruns, Tarzan movies, and obviously Smurfs in my area.) What does that have to do with starting a relationship or understanding someone? Well it helps to understand where they developed their perspectives and characteristics from.
But more on topic, what is different? The transition! Did every girl here transition the same way? NO
Some had emotional support from their family, some didn't.
Some had financial support from their family, some worked 9-5 and some chose adult work.
Some started their transition at a young age, some later in life.
Some have had understanding LTRs, some have only been treated as sex objects. (True of all types of girls regardless of color, creed, or birth.)
Of those with LTRs, some have been good, some have been bad.
Many have felt scorned by their community, school or social group, some found a strong mentor very early.
Each of these factors (and many more that can only be explained by someone who has experienced it) go into developing their personality and outlook on love and life.
So again do I have to "walk a mile in her shoes" or can I use empathy? (As defined by Wikipedia, empathy is "the ability to 'put oneself into another's shoes', or experiencing the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself.")
My thoughts are I don't need to do the "walk" but I need to "see the path" to understand and feel the emotions that brought this beautiful person into my life. A universal truth as far as I am concerned for any lasting relationship, and as everyone at some point has experienced, not everyone that may have initially gone into a relationship has had the internal strength to fully empathize, man or woman.