Trying to understand my attraction to TS

Hi. Please let me know if there is some thread that already covers this, because surely I'm not the first to ask it.

I'm trying to understand why I like TS porn more than regular porn. For 15 years or so I've suffered alot of shame and anxiety about it as it's not something I've ever met anyone in real world who expressed an awareness of it let alone a sexual interest in. A few mocking gifs and a scene from The Hangover 2, at best. Oh, and of course, lots of sniggering about ladyboys by all friends who visited Thailand in the 2000s. Incidentally, it was seeing them when I realised I had a strong desires for. Beautiful feminine TS body, but not a TS with male traits.

I'd considered maybe id suppressed some gay or bisexual sexuality but I really don't think that's true. I feel no attraction for men. Watching Pose was the first time I saw this desire presented in a mainstream format, as a valid thing. It gave me courage to share my secret with my wife. I was ashamed at having kept it secret from her. Sharing it was one of the most difficult things I ever did. I was prepared for her to leave me.

Thankfully she didnt. I love her and she, I, but she doesn't understand it and has resolved to accept it but not understand it. I thought I could live with that compromise and contine to enjoy it now and again, but it still feels taboo, and I want to understand it more, and have recently been reading a book on male sexuality and started to see a good therapist to explore why.

Thereapy is enlightening. I discussed never feeling good about porn in general because I used free sites , full of advertising and nasty messaging. Even the straight porn i prefer (lesbian butt licking as it happens) is ruined by the sleaze on the tube sites. But Not being accepting of my porn preference I wasn't going to pay for anything proper to view TS, but in looking, i did learn abiut grooby and find this here website and forum when looking for something less obnoxious. And, anxious as i am to take (even an anonymous) step into a community such as this, I have decided to register and try ask people here if they would please share their experiences and thoughts on what 'this' is.

How do most guys here define their sexuality?
How old are most people into this? Are younger people more self accepting?
How did people discover they were into TS?
Do people pursue any interest in TS beyond their porn use?
Are many people in committed hetro relationships?
How does the TG narrative in mainstream media influence people's feelings about their TS desires?

I could say more and ask a million questions but will pause there.

Thank you
JB

The ones I'm into have had total female feminization facial and body, been on mones, many ballless young as possible amazing bodies, small tits or huge fake ones, full face and body hair removal, beautiful hair and enough sill pumped into their ass cheeks they can be used flotation devices in the water, the just look better then natural born females

JB,

Good question. I'm new here as well, but I'll give you the benefit of several years of being into this.

I tend to agree with Dan Savage that your sexual identity (gay, straight, bi) is determined less by the sexual acts you are engaged in than by the people you are attracted to. It seems that the people in this community are attracted to the female form. It would certainly be easier (and cheaper) to be gay becauses men willing to have sex with men are so much more readily available. That being said, I guess I consider myself bi? I don't really think about it and don't really care. I'm a dude who likes genetic women and transwomen...I don't really need to label it, but some people really have a strong need to put a label on themselves and everyone else.

Age...early middle age. Don't want to be much more specific than that.

I discovered I was into this years ago when music/video sharing/download sites as a thing. I accidentally downloaded some trans photo galleries. I deleted them...but was turned on. So I downloaded more, this time "accidentally." It took a couple of years before I could admit my attraction to transwomen and run with it, and a few more years before i could act on it. Which is a bummer, because I spent like two months in Thailand back then and certainly wish I'd capitalized on it in this way.

Pursuing this beyond porn...yes. I suspect many people here see trans escorts (hence my allusion to men being cheaper), but I could be totally wrong. I have had some phenomenally good and some absolutely abyssmal experiences. I've only met two transwomen outside of escorts with whom I have had sex.

Committed relationship...yes. I'm in a long-term relationship with a genetic female who lets me pursue this extracurricular (on a limited, budgeted basis, of course). She didn't know I was into this when we met, I rolled it out slowly, and here we are.

Hope that helps!

Not this shit again

I see a lot of similarities in your story with my own. I'm married too, I've also told my wife about my attraction, but I'm trapped in my marriage because of our children rather than having any love for my wife, like you obviously do.

Good job on seeking therapy, I wouldn't have the guts to do that personally, but I'm sure it's very beneficial.

The thing I would say to you is, there is no need to define your sexuality, there really isn't, just enjoy what you like. I've personally never understood the need to label yourself or anyone else for that matter.

If you are interested in my story, I have known of my attraction to the fairest of sexes since I was a teen, a blond german girl who wore stockings on a set of playing card that I never found out her name and Dana Douglas were my first crushes. I've dated solely women and had zero interest in being with a man (I had plenty of offers on that score, working for an airline). I have had one experience (a few dates and lots of phone calls and emails, is that a kind of relationship) with a pretty famous Trans woman, it was the best sexual experience of my life and everything I had hoped it would be.

It has taken me a while to find the strength to feel I can be open with anyone on my sexuality. I so very much want to find a way to break free from my marriage and pursue a long term relationship with a trans woman but in all honesty I don't see it happening. I just really admire trans women as much as I am sexually attracted to them, it takes an incredible amount of strength to come out as trans, the bigotry persecution, intolerance, hate and mocking is relentless, I waste way to much time responding to the hate preachers on twitter. It's only getting worse too :(

Anyway back to your point. Live your life the way you want to, embrace your sexuality, don't be afraid or embarrassed of it, in my view the trans woman is perfection be proud to be an ally. You will though have to resolve how this effects your relationship with your wife, has your sexual appetite for her diminished? If so it's probably only going to get worse, a sexless marriage is difficult if not impossible, I've not slept in the same bed as my wife in 2 years or had sex in about 4 and have no desire to, it's not healthy for either of us.

Your issues and shame come from your upbringing and environment. You like what you like, and often it's unexplainable. I had a friend who only liked red heads, another who only dated BBW and yet another who every girl he dated seemed to have taught, dry skin! It would be mildly interesting to see where these likes come from, but ultimately un-necessary, for the same reason why I don't need to see why I prefer my steak medium-rare, and like my coffee strong and black. We all have different tastes, and they should be embraced.
If there was a survey of men 'Would you sleep with [insert awesome trans girl of your choice] the majority would anonymously say yes, as long as my friends don't find out, which isn't that much different from what many would say about a BBW.


How do most guys here define their sexuality? Why define? Straight with a twist? You like femininity. The genital area represents 1% of the body area.

How old are most people into this? Are younger people more self accepting? All ages throughout the history of the world. Younger people are more accepting, as society has changed generation to generation.

How did people discover they were into TS? GroobyGirls :-) Most see a photo and it turns them on. For me, The Crying Game was a turning point.

Do people pursue any interest in TS beyond their porn use? It's actually difficult to find a good trans woman, but many go to Thailand to experience, or hire a professional sex worker. There are girls out there though. I'm lucky to work in this industry.

Are many people in committed hetro relationship? I'm married with kids.

How does the TG narrative in mainstream media influence people's feelings about their TS desire ? Forgetting the hateful agendas, there has been a lot of positivism over the years and that helps. The more public figures who date trans, the easier it will be to accept. The more people who make it the 'norm' the better.

I am so deeply attracted to ladyboys and femboys and similar wonderful people, with flat chests or very small breasts, because they are mindblowingly sexy. And that is all I need to know.

like what you like.

provided it's not harming others or for/with people who can't consent like kids, it's all open imho.

nobody should justify such to anybody else, as long as they aren't hurting others.

Wow, thank you folks, for taking time to share your stories and views. This is literally the first time I've had a communication about it with someone else who's into it, so quite a milestone.

It's easy for me to say I don't need to prove anything or seek validation, but in reality I do always want to understand myself, in many ways, not just sexuality.

And I find the existence of this type of attraction wildly interesting... aside from enjoying it... it's like a version of humanity which sort of didn't or couldn't exist for millennia. And now it's available in my pocket. Mad.

I'd be very interested to know what anyone's wife thinks about it all. Personally, mine keeps a bit quiet about it and expresses tolerance but no excitement. And she has mixed feelings about porn in general and the potential for exploition, even iSof she dabbles in Some female made stuff. So, she tolerates, which isn't an attitude I'm 100% with.

As for sex drive, yeah to be fair I went to therapy partly because our sex has waned with to monthly or less. I don't know that that is abnormal either in long term. I totally believe that even the most stunning woman (genetic or trans) would become familiar after years of cohabitation and the same would happen.

I totally realise I'm using this thread like it were group therapy, but is that so bad?!