Seeking helpful advice - first date!!

Hi all, as title suggests -

I'm going on a date with a trans women I met online tomorrow. This will be my FIRST date with a trans women, and I'm feeling very nervous.

We're going for drinks.... And I'm hoping it leads to more afterwards.

If anyone can give me some advice to a newbie it would be so greatly appreciated. Things I'm generally conscious of are the DOS and DO NOTS, what sort of questions are inappropriate, how might a trans women feel about going on a date with a straight inexperienced guy, etc.

And just in case we end up in the bedroom - I need a WHOLE load of advice!

Thanks in advance!!

Treat her like any other woman and don't expect sex after a first date.

Thanks for the response Laphroaig.

Both should go without saying!

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Originally Posted by Laphroaig

Treat her like any other woman and don't expect sex after a first date.

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Totally agree with Laphroaig, and if you are fortunate to end up in bed with her, treat her like a woman would like to be treated, before and afterwards.

Thanks Riker.

I guess it's more the gritty details. From a trans women's perspective; what are the typical things inexperienced guys do or say on a date that are frustrating, annoying, or maybe even offensive that you wish they wouldn't.

And in the bedroom - although I don't expect to go that far - what are vital bits of advice you can give a newbie straight guy? What info/advice would you have appreciated if you where in my shoes...

Not too helpful, I know, but "woman" is singular and "women" is plural.

But I figure you're already out on your date by now, anyway.

What site did you meet her on? Any good?

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Originally Posted by shemaleluv86

I guess it's more the gritty details. From a trans women's perspective; what are the typical things inexperienced guys do or say on a date that are frustrating, annoying, or maybe even offensive that you wish they wouldn't.

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Here's are some things you should not bring up and/or ask about first . . .

1) her dead name (i.e., the name she was given at birth)
2) her operative status
3) how long ago she transitioned
4) her sexual role (i.e., bottom, verse, top)

Here are some words and things not to say . . .
1) "tranny," "shemale," "ladyboy," "newhalf," "t-girl" "travesti"
2) "best of both worlds"
3) "you know what men want since you were one"
4) "real women" or "regular women"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shemaleluv86

And in the bedroom - although I don't expect to go that far - what are vital bits of advice you can give a newbie straight guy? What info/advice would you have appreciated if you where in my shoes...

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1) communicate: if things get physical, straight up ask what she is/is not comfortable with. is point, you can probably use terms like "bottom," "verse," or "top." But be aware that some transwomen hate using those descriptors because the more or less come from gay male vernacular. Also, if you're not experienced with transwomen, also say that; assuming anal sex is involved, novices - whether they're the top or the bottom - require special care.

2) Be aware that some, but by no means all, transwomen have a tenancy to sleep with men sooner than ciswomen generally do. This is because some transwomen (sub)consciously seek validation of their femininity from men or feel that if they don't put out a guy won't like them. The stereotypical trannychaser, on some level, knows about this phenomenon and take advantage; don't be that guy!

Ha, all help is welcome.... Even grammatical!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lorca81

Here's are some things you should not bring up and/or ask about first . . .

1) her dead name (i.e., the name she was given at birth)
2) her operative status
3) how long ago she transitioned
4) her sexual role (i.e., bottom, verse, top)

Here are some words and things not to say . . .
1) "tranny," "shemale," "ladyboy," "newhalf," "t-girl" "travesti"
2) "best of both worlds"
3) "you know what men want since you were one"
4) "real women" or "regular women"

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Thanks you for the pointers, they re-enforce some things I thought were correct behaviour.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lorca81

1) communicate: if things get physical, straight up ask what she is/is not comfortable with. is point, you can probably use terms like "bottom," "verse," or "top." But be aware that some transwomen hate using those descriptors because the more or less come from gay male vernacular. Also, if you're not experienced with transwomen, also say that; assuming anal sex is involved, novices - whether they're the top or the bottom - require special care.

2) Be aware that some, but by no means all, transwomen have a tenancy to sleep with men sooner than ciswomen generally do. This is because some transwomen (sub)consciously seek validation of their femininity from men or feel that if they don't put out a guy won't like them. The stereotypical trannychaser, on some level, knows about this phenomenon and take advantage; don't be that guy!

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Great advice. I didn't appreciate that certain terminology comes from gay male vernacular - and I can see how they could be offensive!

I wasn't aware that some transwomen feel that way. I'll definitely bear that in mind, the last thing I want is to become a guy to take advantage!