Goodnight Boys...

[melody mayheim]

So Ive been talking to 2 guys...one from NJ who Ive met n been intimate with for a few months..Hes sexy sweet n stable n we have incredible love making. And of course there's the but....I feel like hes completely content with the distance n it's going no where..he says he cares n wants to be with me but hasnt taken step to the plate to make things even official. I second guess things..express my feelings..N he doesnt do or say anything to reassure me of our future...I really do like him a lot but I dont think he appreciates me...

So With that being said...I always keep my options open...especially If I feel like im not getting what I want n need...Ive been talking to this other guy from upstate NY..further north than where I was raised..a sweet stable country boy...who gives me soooo much more attention. I havent met him yet but hes very attentive n seems so sincere. N I believe hes def stepping up to the plate..trying to build a future with me before Ive even been intimate...wanting me to move n start a life with him.. Most guys r quick to just jump in the bed n call when it's convenient for them again. It sux though cuz although he has an adorable face...hes physically not my type..

So what should I do..continue dating the jersey boy who I feel have that physical n sexual chemistry..but not the emotional chemistry...or try with the ok upstate guy wholl give me the world but is ok looking? Other issue is that I have no problem miving..but the last thing I wana do is move any more north..I have an issue moving to upstate rather than to jersey..hmm

[giovanni_hotel]

It's great to have options, but go slowly.

If you don't wanna move upstate, wait and think about starting a LTR with this guy.

Nowadays I think TS have more options for relationships and don't have to settle for Mr. Right-Now.

[here4dafun]

A sound, and lasting relationship can't be built, and shouldn't be built on "sexual and physical chemistry." There has to be emotional chemistry, or imo its just a FWB thing. He may not be the best looking guy, but if his personality makes up for it, try it. You never know.

[melody mayheim]

Whoops I meant to like a comment n accidentally disliked it :/

[youngblood61]

Melody, your a very beautiful and sexy Lady. I agree with the 2 other posters, go slowly. I'm sure you will have many more suitors, just make sure they are right for you .:)

[tranylover]

Hello Melody, you're gorgeous!

Just as others have said, you don't have to choose Mr right-now. As stunningly beautiful as you are, you should have the pick of the litter!
Now on to your original question. I read where you said the New Jersey guy that does it for you physically is distant? You haven't been intimate with the guy upstate?
The guy upstate is attentive to you emotionally? That usually leads to very attentive lovers.
Finally, what happens in a few years? Which person would stay with you for a LTR or lifelong relationship? Who would be there when you need them during a crisis?

[alpha2117]

Obviously you need to meet the 2nd guy before making any sort of decisions there. with the first guy you may simply be best to tell him the truth - that you are looking for a proper serious relationship and ask if he wants the same. I wouldn't worry about putting him off by asking because if he's going to be put off by you asking then he's probably not in for the long haul no matter what.

[WesJohnson]

Get with the guy who fits you emotionally... and workout with him you'll get that body tight

[lifeisfiction]

First, I think Giovanni said it best you need to slow down. Wait for the period of infatuation to pass and then you begin too see the real person.

Second, I am just going to say it, there is not such thing as Mr. Perfect. Every person will have their strength and their weaknesses. You will find that some people's weaknesses are more livable then others. I have seen too many woman who have searched for Mr. Perfect and never found him. When they think they do then comes Mr. Better walking around the corner.

Third, I know you are looking at what these guys can provide, but also find out what they are looking for in relationship. It is not something every guy wants to discuss readily, but know where he stands and what type of relationship he is looking for at this time. Assumption is mother of mistakes in a relationship.

[melody mayheim]

Ive only been intimate with the jersey guy...he says he wants to be with me..but I feel as though hes not trying hard enough..in the other hand I know im needy..I need to b grateful more cuz he does drive all the way to see me every chance he gets..he just dont give enough when hes back home maybe it's me asking for too much...
Then again the upstate guy is giving me more than enough attention. He just sent me flowers to my job n all..we plan on meeting soon n I cant wait but in the back of my mind I wish jersey boy was giving me the attention hes giving me.

[melody mayheim]

Mr. Perfect would be nice though! Haha

[youngblood61]

I get the feeling you like the Jersey guy more.

[Loud Love]

The allure of greener grass unseen can be misleading. Two truisms are that men hate ultimatums and that hasty decisions often lead to unsatisfactory ends. I would too suggest to slow down and think through your decisions. Drop hints of what you would like Jersey guy to be for you. Chances are work could possibly be dictating many of his short comings you feel he has, been there on his end of that discrepancy if that be the case.

Meet Upstate first and foremost so you can evaluate him properly. He may be the one but could also be a huge disappointment.

Best wishes on your decision and hope for the best for you.

PS,
Some of us just suck at relaying feelings. Its a deficiency many of us share.

Love you!

[melody mayheim]

I really do like jersey boy..I tend to like someone more when im intimate with them...plus hes my type! But im def gonna keep my options open n meet upstate boy n see what happens!

[nysprod]

I think there needs to be a bit more info in order to make a proper evaluation, like where/how did u meet and were you intimate the first time you guys got together.

[melody mayheim]

I met jersey boy on a dating app..the first time he came..I made plans elsewhere n he showed up n ended up just going back home lol I felt horrible..after that I dont really remember..we usually eat dinner together..watch a movie..have sex n cuddle til he has to leave in the am for work..
Upstate boy n i havent met yet..I think he found me on a dating site n requested me on fb..

[johnlinzer]

Don't try to find someone who will support you. Support yourself. Don't try to find someone who will mike a life for you. Make a life for yourself. It's understandable that you want great sex and validation in your female sexuality, but put more emphasis on becoming a great woman instead. Sex is easy. Being excellent is not.