The Life of Dating Melody💘💋💑♎💐💍💌🎶💜

[melody mayheim]

Before transitioning...My first love I dated on n off for 4 1/2yrs...He hated the idea of me dressing up and performing for crowds and getting attention from others. During our breakups Id date other guys temporarily but always went back to me. These guys were always so open about our relationship n introducing me to their family n friends. So after over a yr of splitting up..I finally could focus on me n become who i wana be. It was difficult cuz i thought eventually him n i would rekindle n live happily ever after. But i figured why be with someone who doesnt accept me. One of my best friends transitioned n educated me more on transgenders..But one of my hugest mistakes was to just wake up n be a woman. I think i should have slowly transitioned into things. I thought my first prescription was gona give me long hair n tits the next day lol my first yr transitioned was the biggest struggle..I just was so paranoid n insecure. And the men I started dating..didnt help. I was so used to gay men that the new men chasing me were completely different. I thought I wasnt good enough. Pretty enough. Used for sex n kept a secret. I was ashamed n embarrassed with myself. Crying everyother day. I felt like complete shit. The longer I transition i realize why my fellow ts girls turn to escorting. If Im gona be treated like a whore..Im gona get paid like one. My motto. I realized that its not me whos losing out but them. I feel for guys who live in the "closet" but guys need to figure out on their own. Its unfair to bring someone into their life..get involved if ur not comfortable in ur skin or open about it. Theres always porn. In fact you can check me out on shemaleyum.com lol. Go live ur "normal" life with ur wife n kids n be miserable for the rest of ur life. Im beautiful educated fun and finally realizing my worth. Im fortunate to have a supportive huge family n friends who love me...Life is great!

[saifan]

Nice perspective. Thanks for sharing.

[melody mayheim]

I try to be a non judgmental person. Who am I to judge? Im all about individuality and being you! But most men hide behind fake profiles and keep their interest in tsgirls to themselves. Which is fine but like I said if your gona do that than u shouldnt try to be involved with one. Its selfish. Then guys complain how ts girls r all escorts...all us girls want is love! Were good enough to sleep with but not good enough to be loved? Have a family? Be introduced to ur family and friends? Its quite sad.

[saifan]

I totally hear you. My GF who I love immensely is an escort.

[melody mayheim]

O wow how do u handle that? Ive escorted before n stay in touch with like 2 but its not me..I cant do it. Of course unless hes sexually appetizing to me. Then its easy!

[saifan]

O wow how do u handle that? Ive escorted before n stay in touch with like 2 but its not me..I cant do it. Of course unless hes sexually appetizing to me. Then its easy!

It's her job and I try and make sure we both clearly define when she is on the clock and when she's not. It doesn't bother me that much... all of the nonsense on Facebook bothers me so much more LOL. I don't know why she has to have so many friends and creepy ones at that!

She's planning to get SRS within a year or so and then slowly transition back into a more stable life. We'll see. I'm trying my best to be supportive.

[melody mayheim]

Props to you! I couldnt be in a relationship like that...

[ilovelamp]

Great post. Blunt and honest about your early transition struggles.

You are right that many people kind of just go along with what they perceive as "normal," afraid of how society will judge them, and consequently end up living a life that was not entirely true to who they were.

[scootin3131]

Awesome post Melody, thank you for the message!!!

[melody mayheim]

Exactly!!!! @ilovelamp

[MrFanti]

IMHO,
Some of what you describe exists in the escort world period - regardless if one is transgender, genetic female, or gay male.

[GrimFusion]

This probably isn't going to be a popular opinion considering the nature of this forum, but fuck it; here it goes.
It's really tough juggling being a provider and trying to hold down a relationship. With very few exceptions, you can either choose one or the other. It's just an opinion, but I think saifan is full of crap. I just can't see a relationship working out well over the course of "5+ years" (as he stated in another post) if his girlfriend hasn't given up escorting. He's either bullshitting, or the relationship only works because he's a push-over. Either way you look at it, that's not the type of guy you should be aiming to have a relationship with if monogamy is what you want because if you can't provide monogamy, you can't expect it either.

Escorting draws a certain type of crowd and it isn't likely you're going to find a datable and respectable guy in the bunch. While clients and non-clients seem to behave in much the same way, you still stand a better chance of finding true love if you aren't escorting. That doesn't mean there are lots of sensible men in the trans-dating scene - they're still pretty rare. Dating in the transcommunity requires a HELL OF A LOT OF PATIENCE. I mean, you could be downright dedicated to finding a legit guy and come up empty-handed after six failed short-term relationships over the course of a year or more before finding a dude who's respectable, confident, compatible, open with family & friends, and capable of loving you, not just the sex.

I'm not suggesting you should stop escorting; only that if you should decide to date again, it's going to require a lot of dedication and patience despite all the bad experiences.

[saifan]

This probably isn't going to be a popular opinion considering the nature of this forum, but fuck it; here it goes.
It's really tough juggling being a provider and trying to hold down a relationship. With very few exceptions, you can either choose one or the other. It's just an opinion, but I think saifan is full of crap. I just can't see a relationship working out well over the course of "5+ years" (as he stated in another post) if his girlfriend hasn't given up escorting. He's either bullshitting, or the relationship only works because he's a push-over. Either way you look at it, that's not the type of guy you should be aiming to have a relationship with if monogamy is what you want because if you can't provide monogamy, you can't expect it either.

Escorting draws a certain type of crowd and it isn't likely you're going to find a datable and respectable guy in the bunch. While clients and non-clients seem to behave in much the same way, you still stand a better chance of finding true love if you aren't escorting. That doesn't mean there are lots of sensible men in the trans-dating scene - they're still pretty rare. Dating in the transcommunity requires a HELL OF A LOT OF PATIENCE. I mean, you could be downright dedicated to finding a legit guy and come up empty-handed after six failed short-term relationships over the course of a year or more before finding a dude who's respectable, confident, compatible, open with family & friends, and capable of loving you, not just the sex.

I'm not suggesting you should stop escorting; only that if you should decide to date again, it's going to require a lot of dedication and patience despite all the bad experiences.

To clarify, this relationship is fairly new (5 months). My previous friend does indeed still escort and after meeting my new friend I decided it was time to move on to greener pastures with someone who has an exit strategy.

EDIT: And yes I am a push-over.

[melody mayheim]

Ur absolutely right mr.fanti but I think trans turn to escorting for different reasons.

There are def respectable guys out there...they just dont happen to be my type! Lmao!
Im not an escort although I do keep that option available for the right guy. Ive dated NUMEROUS guys these past 3 yrs. And only one I dated for 10 months. So every 50 guys i date..I find one good one. Lol

[MrFanti]

Im not an escort although I do keep that option available for the right guy. Ive dated NUMEROUS guys these past 3 yrs. And only one I dated for 10 months. So every 50 guys i date..I find one good one. Lol

Again, pretty much normal whether gay or transgender.
I've come to the conclusion that finding one's "perfect" match is near impossible. Thus the defining factor is what compromises one is willing to make.

Some folks are great sexually but have the conversation ability of a rock. Some folks are great financially but are spiritually dead.

And the list goes on....

[tranylover]

Hey Melody,

Thanks for the excellent posting! I know this question has been asked a 100 times,
I had a question about how to pick up a Trans girl like you. Where did you meet your boyfriends? Do you find your boyfriends in gay clubs?

[melody mayheim]

Very true but from my own experiences guys try til they get what they want. Then you dont hear from them until they appear a month or 2 later n suddenly "miss" you and wana "cuddle" ..so not many guys give it an opprtunity to actually know me enough to judge me.

I havent been to a gay club in over a year..but Ive met guys there..str8 clubs..dating sites n fb...My biggest fear i think is being approached by a guy who has no idea...its happened numerous times and i get so uncomfortable. Some were ok with it..some havent..but who likes to be rejected? Id rather a guy not approach me at all or a guy who knows what hes walking into..

[saifan]

Very true but from my own experiences guys try til they get what they want. Then you dont hear from them until they appear a month or 2 later n suddenly "miss" you and wana "cuddle" ..so not many guys give it an opprtunity to actually know me enough to judge me.

I havent been to a gay club in over a year..but Ive met guys there..str8 clubs..dating sites n fb...My biggest fear i think is being approached by a guy who has no idea...its happened numerous times and i get so uncomfortable. Some were ok with it..some havent..but who likes to be rejected? Id rather a guy not approach me at all or a guy who knows what hes walking into..

Melody, interesting perspective. So it's safe to assume that you aren't put off by "chasers" or guys who actively seek out transgendered girls?

[melody mayheim]

I dont like any guys who seek any other person...lol I want it to be all about ME! Haha ;)

[saifan]

i dont like any guys who seek any other person...lol i want it to be all about me! Haha ;)

lol :-d

[tao1kiku]

Well said Melody. Another reason for girls working as escorts is the cost of transitioning. Electrolysis, clothes, makeup, cosmetic surgery and if one is not 100% passable, getting a decent paying job to cover all that is tough.

At the same time Melody, real loving relationships can happen. I've been married to a TG girl for over a year after dating for 3 years.

[melody mayheim]

Omg yes! Being a girl is expensive..being a trans girl is even more expensive! Absolutely right!

Thats great! I appreciate a man like you! Hopefully one day Ill be scooped up n married! I know i will! :)