Sainthood

[Jericho]

I've been thinking...

Usually, groups of people, firemen, policemen, candlestick makers, have a patron saint, so who do we have?

I know it's a bit presumptuous, and it's not like I've got tickets on meself or owt, but i'd like to put myself forward for the job...Saint Jericho of the Tranny Shaggers.

There'll be a little medal for your key-chains (maybe sponsored by grooby? kerchiiing!)

Anyway, I'm just about to write to my mate, the pope, tell him to get it sorted, but thought I'd grab some feedback first?

[fred41]

Do you also have a plastic figurine I can stick on my dashboard?...maybe a Jericho in a half shell, that Italian Tranny shaggers can put in their front yards.

[Jericho]

I think Old Nick's in charge of merchandising...Watch this space! :hide-1:

[trish]

You need at least three miracles...maybe a four hour erection?...or once was known to perform five times in one night?

[Laphroaig]

I've got some bad news for you. To qualify for Sainthood, first you have to be dead. Still want to apply for the position?...

[martin48]

Saint Ambrose is the patron saint of perverts.

So maybe the position is filled

“There is nothing evil save that which perverts the mind and shackles the conscience.”

[Jericho]

This Ambrose geezer can go do one, greedy bastard, this is my gig!
Three miracles you say? I've been around a while. Why, I must have done at least two miracles last weekend (getting to the kharzi in time after that curry was a bit of miracle...tho not really tranny related)!
Dead...Ok, that's a bit of a stumbling block. Are you sure? Is there not a loophole or owt? Could i not just be really ill and come back three days later?

Granted, I'm a bit hazy on the mechanics, but are we all on the same page in principle?

[Laphroaig]

All explained here.

http://people.howstuffworks.com/question619.htm

Of course, maybe it's possible to become a saint of a different religion, or you could just create your own religion and make up the rules?...

[trish]

Rules, schmules. They were made to be broken. Used to be you couldn't become Pope before you killed the old one. I think this new Francis guy might be ready to open some windows and air out his stuffy old house. Have you been there? It's like a museum in there!

[Jericho]

All explained here.

http://people.howstuffworks.com/question619.htm

Of course, maybe it's possible to become a saint of a different religion, or you could just create your own religion and make up the rules?...


Rules, schmules. They were made to be broken.



The process of becoming a Catholic saint is lengthy, often taking decades or centuries to complete.

I'm starting to feel that I haven't entirely thought this through...I was thinking more like, "end of the month" kinda thing!

But if it was *my* religion...I'm liking that idea!
I wouldn't even have to do anything.
Just employ a couple of profits to go around spreading the, er, love!
We're all agreed then?
I'll work out the details later but, trust me boys, communion's going to be fun!

[Stavros]

Will there be a fridge magnet? No fridge magnet, no adulation.

[Laphroaig]

I'm voting to have the communion wine changed to whisky. It is after all "the water of life".
I'm sure there's sponsorship opportunities there as well.

Trish, I haven't seen the Vatican or even been to Rome yet. They are on my too see list but I'm not sure I could be bothered with the queues to enter the Vatican.
Jericho's "spiritual home" might displace it on the list... :)

[Jericho]

Well St.Stavros, as old nick's no longer in the loop, I'll leave you in charge of merchandising...You want fridge magnets, have at it!

St.Laphroaig, personally, I would have gone with Vodka, but....
Maybe dispensed from a statue of Our Lady, Trish the Divine, of the Divine, er, Diviness.

St.Fred...Beer and Smokes?

[Jericho]

Jericho's "spiritual home" might displace it on the list... :)

I'm thinking pilgrimages to Thailand and Brazil?

[fred41]

Well St.Stavros, as old nick's no longer in the loop, I'll leave you in charge of merchandising...You want fridge magnets, have at it!

St.Laphroaig, personally, I would have gone with Vodka, but....
Maybe dispensed from a statue of Our Lady, Trish the Divine, of the Divine, er, Diviness.

St.Fred...Beer and Smokes?

You got it boss...consider me your disciple...gonna go out and spread your word now.

[martin48]

It's all here -
How to Become a Saint in the Catholic Church for Dummies

http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-become-a-saint-in-the-catholic-church.html


You could go for beatification first - only one miracle. Surely you can manage that.



Being dead is essential but you try for the Odor of Sanctity:The body of the saint exudes a sweet aroma, like roses!


It's going to be tricky.

[Laphroaig]

I'm thinking pilgrimages to Thailand and Brazil?



You're going about this the wrong way round, get it right and the pilgrims will come to you. Of course you may need a few volunteers to "screen" them first before allowing them into your presence.

[martin48]

......

[trish]

.......

[Jericho]

You're going about this the wrong way round, get it right and the pilgrims will come to you. Of course you may need a few volunteers to "screen" them first before allowing them into your presence.

Ya said spiritual home...Fuck me, they'd have to be devoted to want to come to this shithole! :hide-1:


......

Mother Fucking Superior ...Ok, another sainthood on the way.
Smart move, get in on the ground floor!


.......

I'm feeling the love, my dove!
Would you like Sainthood or Mother Fucking Superior hood?



Now this is more like it.
None of that dying, waiting around or smelling like hedge clippings nonsense!

[zerrrr]

Start with Saturnius Mons who will lead you to the Greeks and a God who will point you to the Romans who will point you to a particular destination within the Roman Pantheon off the beaten path where neutrality is home and the sun rises over a planet.


All explained here.

http://people.howstuffworks.com/question619.htm

Of course, maybe it's possible to become a saint of a different religion, or you could just create your own religion and make up the rules?...

Yes but there are rules to follow when creating the rules.

Saints are notoriously lazy. There I said it. They tend to half-ass everything until someone smacks them upside the head and even then it only half-motivates them.

Or else they wait until 90% of the work is done, come in for pictures, and try to take most of the credit.

They are known as the douche bags of the Astral Plane.



Will there be a fridge magnet? No fridge magnet, no adulation.

Soon.