Dahlia Babe Ailhad
12-08-2014, 06:36 PM
Good morning everybody,
I have always been a little, to say the very least, "weird" about adding people i don't know to a friends list if i've never had any conversations or contact with the person asking me to be a friend.
I don't know why i began feeling this way but it's been like that for a long time.
I've never accepted any friend requests unless those people and i have sent some helpful, friendly messages back and forth in pm. It just seems normal to me to be that way.
To me, it's, kind of, like "giving out your phone number" to just anyone who asks for it. Of course, it's NOT the same thing as a telling someone your telephone number - we all know that is pretty clear - but in my mind, i ask myself, "Why does this person who has never even said a word to me want to be my friend?"
Are they just like "fans" or "admirers"?
If so, change it to a "fan list" or an "admirers list" or something like that.
"Friend" carries with it a sense of responsibility, a duty to be a "friend" and ally, a person who watches out for you.
I was in another forum last year which has a "function" that works like, as soon as you add someone to your list, you start to see a direct feed of all their latest posts in your profile like in Facebook. So in that case, i can see why people might want to add others as friends.
But it seems in HA, there are no real perks for adding people to your friends list other than giving the illusion that one has SO MANY friends and must be very popular.
What's the point?
I am not an anti-social person in any way or form. I am, actually, a very friendly, warm, open person. I am friendly to a fault in real life, because i am so touchy feely when i meet people. Some wonder if i am normal or if i am just trying to get close so i could pick pocket them or something.
I sometimes feel like i should be living in a small village with a population of 400. BUT, i would hate that, because i can be a very private person, too.
My transgenderism tends to make me a very withdrawn person once i start to get to know someone more and more in real life when they want to hang out everyday with me and get in the way of my "job" which is quite a secret.
It's like, i am very warm and friendly and gregarious and telling jokes and so on and so on, but when it's time for me to leave, let me leave alone - i have things to do.
I am really honest with myself - maybe too honest to a fault. I am not a good bullshitter, you know?
I've heard so many people bragging about how many facebook friends they've acquired, and yet, they haven't said a word to any of them. Not one word.
They were recommended by FB only because they happen to share a friend with another friends list. So, they add each other not even knowing one another and they never even say boo to each other on Halloween.
And i think, it's so shallow and pretentious...to brag about being friends with so many people that you know nothing about, and don't really care to know about because you don't know them. Because they are NOT YOUR FRIENDS - they are just a name on a computer.
I am confused about it. I am getting HA friend requests from people i have never chatted with or heard of before. I assume they've read my posts and "like me" for that alone? That's nice. I am happy the like what i write or my pics or silly little video... but me?...i have no indication of who they are.
How do i know that all the HA misfits and HA weirdos want to lump me into their weird little worlds with a friend request? And then, when others see that i am friends with this "terrible troll" and that "bitchy backstabber" and that "shameless shill", i'm afraid that it will reflect badly on me, you know?
My mom raised us with her oft repeated saying, "Tell me who your friends are, and i'll tell you who you are."
Sending me a friend request doesn't convince me that a person is going to be a "friend" in the true sense of the word, "friend."
For me, a friend on my friends list means that a person likes me, respects my feelings, understands me, cares about me, and wouldn't want to see me hurt or insulted, and is, also, willing to share intimate details about themselves, like i do. "THAT" is how friends are in the real world.
In the social media world, however, we can't see the faces, hear the voices, see the body language - there are so many dishonest people trying to hurt others by infiltrating themselves into others' personal lives so they can maybe expose certain things that only a close friend would know just to hurt the person, somehow.
I've see this happen before in yahoo chat years ago. My gawd!! People can be so jealous and hatefully ruthless. I've learned to keep my guard up.
I have sent very polite responses to HA members asking me to befriend them, explaining this and apologizing to them for declining at this time, and they don't respond back.
'Some "friend" that person would be', i think to myself.
It's like all they want is just another name on their list of nobodys.
Perhaps, i am jaded. Well, actually, come to think of it, i've really been through enough crap in these type of "competitive escort" forums to warrant my being as jaded as i might appear when it comes to people crossing the border that lies between basic forum member and "friend".
It's strange. I would feel totally tricked if i felt closer to people on the main board than to those on my friends list.
I consider you all to be my friends as soon as we start responding to each others' posts and threads in a friendly respectful manner, but why should we have to add our names to a friends list? What does that prove, really?
So what are the perks of adding people to your friends lists if they never talk to you on the main board? Or worse, they literally ignore your polite private messages to them which are sent to try to reach out to them in a friendly way?
You know?...they send a friend request to me and when i send a message asking them what they are interested in and so forth, or i explain how i would prefer knowing about them a little bit first, they refuse to respond back?
This whole friends list issue is very confusing to me.
Thanks for reading this.
I hope to read in this thread how you HA members sincerely view the purpose of the HA friends list.
Much love and respect to all of you.
Babe,
xoxo
I have always been a little, to say the very least, "weird" about adding people i don't know to a friends list if i've never had any conversations or contact with the person asking me to be a friend.
I don't know why i began feeling this way but it's been like that for a long time.
I've never accepted any friend requests unless those people and i have sent some helpful, friendly messages back and forth in pm. It just seems normal to me to be that way.
To me, it's, kind of, like "giving out your phone number" to just anyone who asks for it. Of course, it's NOT the same thing as a telling someone your telephone number - we all know that is pretty clear - but in my mind, i ask myself, "Why does this person who has never even said a word to me want to be my friend?"
Are they just like "fans" or "admirers"?
If so, change it to a "fan list" or an "admirers list" or something like that.
"Friend" carries with it a sense of responsibility, a duty to be a "friend" and ally, a person who watches out for you.
I was in another forum last year which has a "function" that works like, as soon as you add someone to your list, you start to see a direct feed of all their latest posts in your profile like in Facebook. So in that case, i can see why people might want to add others as friends.
But it seems in HA, there are no real perks for adding people to your friends list other than giving the illusion that one has SO MANY friends and must be very popular.
What's the point?
I am not an anti-social person in any way or form. I am, actually, a very friendly, warm, open person. I am friendly to a fault in real life, because i am so touchy feely when i meet people. Some wonder if i am normal or if i am just trying to get close so i could pick pocket them or something.
I sometimes feel like i should be living in a small village with a population of 400. BUT, i would hate that, because i can be a very private person, too.
My transgenderism tends to make me a very withdrawn person once i start to get to know someone more and more in real life when they want to hang out everyday with me and get in the way of my "job" which is quite a secret.
It's like, i am very warm and friendly and gregarious and telling jokes and so on and so on, but when it's time for me to leave, let me leave alone - i have things to do.
I am really honest with myself - maybe too honest to a fault. I am not a good bullshitter, you know?
I've heard so many people bragging about how many facebook friends they've acquired, and yet, they haven't said a word to any of them. Not one word.
They were recommended by FB only because they happen to share a friend with another friends list. So, they add each other not even knowing one another and they never even say boo to each other on Halloween.
And i think, it's so shallow and pretentious...to brag about being friends with so many people that you know nothing about, and don't really care to know about because you don't know them. Because they are NOT YOUR FRIENDS - they are just a name on a computer.
I am confused about it. I am getting HA friend requests from people i have never chatted with or heard of before. I assume they've read my posts and "like me" for that alone? That's nice. I am happy the like what i write or my pics or silly little video... but me?...i have no indication of who they are.
How do i know that all the HA misfits and HA weirdos want to lump me into their weird little worlds with a friend request? And then, when others see that i am friends with this "terrible troll" and that "bitchy backstabber" and that "shameless shill", i'm afraid that it will reflect badly on me, you know?
My mom raised us with her oft repeated saying, "Tell me who your friends are, and i'll tell you who you are."
Sending me a friend request doesn't convince me that a person is going to be a "friend" in the true sense of the word, "friend."
For me, a friend on my friends list means that a person likes me, respects my feelings, understands me, cares about me, and wouldn't want to see me hurt or insulted, and is, also, willing to share intimate details about themselves, like i do. "THAT" is how friends are in the real world.
In the social media world, however, we can't see the faces, hear the voices, see the body language - there are so many dishonest people trying to hurt others by infiltrating themselves into others' personal lives so they can maybe expose certain things that only a close friend would know just to hurt the person, somehow.
I've see this happen before in yahoo chat years ago. My gawd!! People can be so jealous and hatefully ruthless. I've learned to keep my guard up.
I have sent very polite responses to HA members asking me to befriend them, explaining this and apologizing to them for declining at this time, and they don't respond back.
'Some "friend" that person would be', i think to myself.
It's like all they want is just another name on their list of nobodys.
Perhaps, i am jaded. Well, actually, come to think of it, i've really been through enough crap in these type of "competitive escort" forums to warrant my being as jaded as i might appear when it comes to people crossing the border that lies between basic forum member and "friend".
It's strange. I would feel totally tricked if i felt closer to people on the main board than to those on my friends list.
I consider you all to be my friends as soon as we start responding to each others' posts and threads in a friendly respectful manner, but why should we have to add our names to a friends list? What does that prove, really?
So what are the perks of adding people to your friends lists if they never talk to you on the main board? Or worse, they literally ignore your polite private messages to them which are sent to try to reach out to them in a friendly way?
You know?...they send a friend request to me and when i send a message asking them what they are interested in and so forth, or i explain how i would prefer knowing about them a little bit first, they refuse to respond back?
This whole friends list issue is very confusing to me.
Thanks for reading this.
I hope to read in this thread how you HA members sincerely view the purpose of the HA friends list.
Much love and respect to all of you.
Babe,
xoxo