Must post-ops disclose TS status in personal ads?

[suckseed]

Hey. Weirdly enough, after all the postop threads have come up lately, I have the opportunity to meet one. I wrote her on a singles website, just saying hi and a little bit about me, and she wrote me back sounding really nice, and said 'thanks for the decent email, that was nice'. She warned me that she was post-op. Now, what I'm wondering is, would it be all that bad if she just advertised herself as a woman to weed out some creeps? She could tell guys once they'd had a chance to meet over a drink. I dunno, it seems fucked up to just be trying to be a fulltime woman and be dealing with guys who want you for your dick. Okay - I need coffee.

[flabbybody]

I have no problem with post-op advertising as woman. My problem is a post-op advertising as pre-op. that's plain lying.

[BeardedOne]

I have no problem with post-op advertising as woman. My problem is a post-op advertising as pre-op. that's plain lying.

Aside from the concept of false advertising, one wonders if someone looking for a pre-op T-gurl might react in the same way as a "straight" guy that finds a 'surprise' on his latest conquest. Case in point: J-lo, murdered in NY by a 'date' last December. :(

[suckseed]

To protect herself, this woman was prbably wise to disclose things. I just felt bad for her trying to find someone nice and getting a bunch of responses from chasers. But she is advertising on Alt.com, and not eharmony...so she's probably not all that innocent anyway.

[BeardedOne]

To protect herself, this woman was prbably wise to disclose things. I just felt bad for her trying to find someone nice and getting a bunch of responses from chasers. But she is advertising on Alt.com, and not eharmony...so she's probably not all that innocent anyway.

If she's up-front, she's cool. And if she's advertising for dates as oppossed to 'those that bring "roses"', better.

The first T-gurl escort I was with was so damned passable that I doubted her claim to being a T-gurl. While that fed some initial disappointment (Though she was still sweet, smart, and hot), I could have 'suffered' through the time.

I just worry that post-op gurls and GGs looking to "ride the wave" might be setting themselves up for a bad turn when their client discovers that he's paying for 'shorted' goods. :?

[flabbybody]

in a perfect world, no one should deceive. If I'm answering an ad that says shemale/tranny/pre-op, thats who I expect to see when I arrive. A gg or post-op means I'm headed for the door and not very happy.

guys who would physically hurt someone out of anger for being deceived are criminals who should be arrested and charged under the full extent of NYC's hate crime laws. Violence is only justified in self defense.

[NYTSJulie]

I think it is up to the post-op to choose if she wants to tell or not.

In my life I have dated many guys with out telling them I am a ts even though I am pre-op. I feel unless I am going to bed with someone then its not something I should have to share.

I might go on a few dates with someone to see if I even like them first, often times I dont, lol I tend to be very picky. If I like them I will tell, and if I am not that interested then I disss them before it gets to that ponit.

My point being is that it is not everyones business. When you introduce yourself to someone you shouldnt have to say "hello my name is .... I am a transsexual". When you let someone in on that before any depth has entered into the relationship they will veiw you differently. They might not be interested at all, they might view you as a sex object or some kind of freak.

Overall it depends on the situation, each one is different.

Kisses,
Julie

[Caleigh]

The post-op women that I know have the most difficult
ethical question to deal with. On the one hand they now
see themselves as totally a woman (even if they don't
have reproductive abillity) and if their surgery was done
well no-one, not even a lover would be able to tell that
they were anything but a GG. At the same time if they
don't tell someone that they are romantically involved with
that they are post-op then they usually have this nagging
feeling of guilt that they are not being fully honest with this
person that they profess to love. If they DO tell this person
it's possible that they will be dumped either because they
weren't honest from the start or because they have a Y
chromosome.

Makes me glad I'm non-op and open about it.

[suckseed]

Well, this is going to sound a little weird, but...I have very mixed emotions about having sex with a post op. The 'ginas I've seen on post ops frequently look kind of strange, and I have a weird fear of hurting it! But my main reservation is that I see her as being very sweet, nice and vulnerable. I wrote back to her asking whether she'd be into something casual, and she said yes. She wants someone to go out with, once a week sleepovers, etc. , which all sounds great, but for some reason I feel like getting involved would be a mistake, as there are several other women that are possibilities at the moment, and I'd feel cruel rejecting her.

While I'm definitely not a chick magnet, almost every woman that dates me falls in love because I treat her so well...I don't know how to be affectionate without acting like a man totally in love...my sister once watched me interacting with a girlfriend, then when the gf left I started going off about the things she did which were putting me off, and my sis lectured me about leading this girl on if I really felt that way. To me it's pleasurable to touch, hug, kiss her on the neck and ear while she's cooking, snuggle, all that stuff. But then, within a few weeks of being intimate, her ways start to get on my nerves. Either she starts to seem like a whacko in some way, or not smart enough, or something (I know, welcome to the world of adults.) So at that point I'm basically still there for the companionship and - mostly - the sex. When we eventually break up I feel the pain just as if she were Miss Perfect. Is anyone else like this? For the record I've been celibate except for escorts for two years, because I wanted to figure myself out. I'm basically looking for a friend with benefits at the moment, and because this woman has stated that she's been lonely, I'm wary of getting involved to the point of hurting her. That's it in a nutshell.

[suckseed]

Well, this is going to sound a little weird, but...I have very mixed emotions about having sex with a post op. The 'ginas I've seen on post ops frequently look kind of strange, and I have a weird fear of hurting it! But my main reservation is that I see her as being very sweet, nice and vulnerable. I wrote back to her asking whether she'd be into something casual, and she said yes. She wants someone to go out with, once a week sleepovers, etc. , which all sounds great, but for some reason I feel like getting involved would be a mistake, as there are several other women that are possibilities at the moment, and I'd feel cruel rejecting her.

While I'm definitely not a chick magnet, almost every woman that dates me falls in love because I treat her so well...I don't know how to be affectionate without acting like a man totally in love...my sister once watched me interacting with a girlfriend, then when the gf left I started going off about the things she did which were putting me off, and my sis lectured me about leading this girl on if I really felt that way. To me it's pleasurable to touch, hug, kiss her on the neck and ear while she's cooking, snuggle, all that stuff. But then, within a few weeks of being intimate, her ways start to get on my nerves. Either she starts to seem like a whacko in some way, or not smart enough, or something (I know, welcome to the world of adults.) So at that point I'm basically still there for the companionship and - mostly - the sex. When we eventually break up I feel the pain just as if she were Miss Perfect. Is anyone else like this? For the record I've been celibate except for escorts for two years, because I wanted to figure myself out. I'm basically looking for a friend with benefits at the moment, and because this woman has stated that she's been lonely, I'm wary of getting involved to the point of hurting her. That's it in a nutshell.

[Dina Delicious]

Oh the post op thing here we go
this is my opinion
if you are going to have a one nite stand or a fuck buddy or escorting yes i DID say escorting you dont have to tell him nadda.
if you are dating with intent i would tell them before intimacy
maybe im old fashioned lol but wouldnt you want someone to want you for your wit and smile and the conversations you have.
suckseed oddly enough you are in portland Oregon
where one of the best SRS surgeons in the world began his practice till moving recently to arizona
trust me you wont hurt her vagina its made to have great pleasurable sex for both partners
the question you have to ask yourself is if you think your gonna hurt and you dont want to then you should cut ties now im sure she has alot to deal with and a broken heart wouldnt be cool
my two cents doll
Dina Marie

Intentionally failing to disclose this information is misleading and manipulative. If a man is going to get to know you he needs to know who you were, who you are and what you want to be in life.

I run and run fast if a woman lied to me about this. Now if she told the truth up front, I'd take her honesty as a sign of maturity and sophistication.

[peggygee]

I think it is up to the post-op to choose if she wants to tell or not.

In my life I have dated many guys with out telling them I am a ts even though I am pre-op. I feel unless I am going to bed with someone then its not something I should have to share.

I might go on a few dates with someone to see if I even like them first, often times I dont, lol I tend to be very picky. If I like them I will tell, and if I am not that interested then I disss them before it gets to that ponit.

My point being is that it is not everyones business. When you introduce yourself to someone you shouldnt have to say "hello my name is .... I am a transsexual". When you let someone in on that before any depth has entered into the relationship they will veiw you differently. They might not be interested at all, they might view you as a sex object or some kind of freak.

Overall it depends on the situation, each one is different.

Kisses,
Julie





The post-op women that I know have the most difficult
ethical question to deal with. On the one hand they now
see themselves as totally a woman (even if they don't
have reproductive abillity) and if their surgery was done
well no-one, not even a lover would be able to tell that
they were anything but a GG. At the same time if they
don't tell someone that they are romantically involved with
that they are post-op then they usually have this nagging
feeling of guilt that they are not being fully honest with this
person that they profess to love. If they DO tell this person
it's possible that they will be dumped either because they
weren't honest from the start or because they have a Y
chromosome.



I'm only fucking if I'm in a LTR.

If I'm in a LTR I am going to be honest about my gender herstory.

If I put my post op status in personal ads, I tend to attract chasers.

I won't have an LTR with a chaser.

Guess I won't be fucking.

At least with personal ads :shrug

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

I agree with NYTSJulie. Its really up to the girl if she chooses to tell people or not. The bottomline there is, should one say she is a woman then one must make sure that no client would be able to tell..i.e. voice, body proportion etc. Its all in the details baby so to speak! LOL :P

~Kisses.

HTG

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Kudos to Miss Julie, Peggy,and of course my sister Dina for the well thought post. I agree with all of them.

[Mac_Hine]

Of course they should. No question. If a guy wants a woman, he should get a woman. If he want a post-op, thats fine too. BUT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.