LADIES ONLY PLS!!RELATIONSHIP ADVICES...

[YasminLee]

I JUST RESENTLY BROKE UP WITH MY BF...I WAS SHOOTING A VIDEO AND U BEG AND BEG TO COME AND SEE WHAT GOES ON AT A SHOOT..I SHOULD OF STOOD MY GROUND AND SAID NO, BUT I'M AN IDIOT...SHE GOT MAD WHEN SEEING SOMEONE FLUFF ME FOR THE SHOOT...HE STORM OFF...I DON'T FEEL I DID ANYTHING WRONG..HOWEVER, IT HURT ME SO MUCH THAT HE'S HURT...LONG STORY SHORT...FEW WORDS WERE EXCHANGE AND NOW I'M NOT SURE IF I CAN BE BACK WITH HIM...I LOVE HIM AND CARE FOR HIM..BUT WHAT HAPPEND REALLY HURTS...ALL OF A SUDDEN I FEEL LIKE HE NEVER KNEW ME AT ALL...WHAT WOULD U DO IN MY SITUATION...

[ChicagoDave]

Give it a little time when things are said in the heat of the moment its just lashing out. Give it some time see if you 2 can talk a bit then make a decision. *shrugs* just my 2 cents worth dont make a judgement in the heat of the moment. Good Luck

[YasminLee]

THANK U HUN..I FEEL LIKE HE'S TESTING ME...I HATE THAT...HE'S PLAYING GAMES WHEN ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR HE LOVES ME...NOT SURE I WANNA SIT AND PLAY WITH HIM...

[ChicagoDave]

Well I can only imagine what was said but he probably wants to feel wanted now its part of the game Yasmine you sound like you really were into him so my advice is dont make any rash judgements.


oh on the lighter side if your on the rebound LOL j/k good luck

[Jennifer_English]

My best advice is give him some time chick.... and dont rush any decision either way

Jennifer
-x-

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Guys are like that. They'd mostly rather prefer not knowing what it is youre actually doing at work or for work. He might say I wanna see/observe what you do for work or see you at work in action etc. Bottomline is..it was a big mistake that he insisted on coming along knowing beforehand he knew what you do for a living and then couldnt handle it! It would have been best had he offered to be your personal fluffer. I mean if he knew when he met you that you do videos etc. then he should have been more prepared for this. Id say give him time and his space..If he really genuinely cares for you then he will be back soon enough. You shouldnt be sorry for anything that you did..Its work! If he doesnt call you offering to talk about what had happened then you know what that means. This could just be a test..a temporary setback. Could make your relationship even stronger if it works out (fingers crossed). So goodluck gurlie. :wink:

~Kisses.

HTG

[Chica]

everyone is having relationship probs lately :-s just glad im not in one...

but yeah, give him time, but he should also realise the bad things that come in with your line of work... keep out of each others way for a while, let things cool off then maybe just ring him when you just want a big hug, i'm sure you'd be nicer to him, and if he does really like u, he should know ur not in the mood to argue, and then maybe things can get patched together

[gaiseric]

Yasmin, just going to add my thoughts to the discussion. I think there are probably 2 things that could happen. Firstly, your guy could spend a lot of time thinking over the situation and then decide to accept you for the person you are. In this case the split will have been worth it. Secondly, this could be a way of testing you. Maybe he wants you to chase after him and promise to become the 'ideal' lady he wants. In this case you have to decide how much you want him back and if you are prepared to change your life style.
I speak with a small degree of experience here. My lady is an escort and was one when we met. I don't ask her what she does with her other clients and I don't read her reviews. She is very special to me but I wouldn't dream of asking her to change what she does. It's her life and I have accepted that.

Also, Angela, your cliche line 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' is definitely not true. It only works if you like emotional pain and I most definitely do not.

[BeardedOne]

Didja ever notice that tagging a thread with "Ladies Only Please..." always seems to get the =guys= posting instead?

Oh...I'm doing that now. :oops:

Sorry to hear about your split (Dare I say 'temporary'?), Yasmin. It's great when we see you (Or any of the gurls) gushing about your sweetie because, all the bee-boppin' aside, most of us like to see you happy.

I know, all too well, about the goofy-shit game-playing that people throw around in a relationship. It's why my last one was my =last= one, because I don't like playing games very much. Though, in my experience, it was always the girl/gurl/grrl that was dealing the cards and shuffling the deck. I haven't had all that much experience with guys playing games on me, but that's as much from not having any LTRs with guys, I s'pose, so they are just as likely as anyone to deal from the bottom of the deck.

If he's 'testing' you, as some here have suggested, then it's a pretty lame way of showing how much he 'cares' for you. If I had found out that someone was testing me thusly, they'd fast be looking for new companionship as they'd no longer be blessed with mine. That's one reason the 'relationship' thing never quite worked for me. If my SO had a problem or question with me, they'd ask/tell everyone on the planet =except= me and then wonder why I wasn't doing anything to fix the problem (You know, the one I didn't know about :roll: ).

I'm confused about the whole thing, really. If he already knew about your role in the industry then he should have expected what he saw at your shoot. If he couldn't deal with such a thing, then he should have brought it up earlier (Or at the very least discussed his feelings about this particular scenario). Better yet, why so hot to be at your shoot? He already has the real thing at home. :)

I've imagined myself in some sort of relationship with an escort or viddie star and, from a distance anyway, can't see myself being all that much interested in seeing them at work. I guess part of it comes from my having some idea of what goes on at the typical shoot and the realization that it's not some glamorous thing. I mean really, there was this one where the couch tipped over in the middle of a scene...Heh. :wink:

I really wish you the best out of this, darlin'. Give him some time to get his head together and, if you don't hear from him in a week or two, send him a friendly postcard from Fiji to show him that life goes on.

Oh, and Angela, you had the quote a little off. The button I have sez "'Tis 'better to have loved and lost than to spend the rest of your life with a psycho". 8)

[Ecstatic]

Yasmin, I'm sure you knew that guys would reply as well as girls (and I'm glad several girls did, as I know you're really looking for the kind of support and/or perspective that only another girl can provide in such a situation). I will add one thought: without knowing either of you, I suspect that he was really testing himself. It's one thing to say, "Yeah, I'm ok with what she does for work, it's only work" and another to really be ok with it. He probably felt that he wouldn't know that unless he was actually there (and he may have even known what his reaction would likely be, but had to face it to know for sure). So he insisted, you let him come to the shoot, and he reacted. If he really can't handle it, then sadly it's for the better, but if, as others have said, he truly loves you and can get past this, then there's the chance for you to reunite. Only time and communication with him can tell.

I wish you the best whichever way it falls.

[Hawk]

I JUST RESENTLY BROKE UP WITH MY BF...I WAS SHOOTING A VIDEO AND U BEG AND BEG TO COME AND SEE WHAT GOES ON AT A SHOOT..I SHOULD OF STOOD MY GROUND AND SAID NO, BUT I'M AN IDIOT...SHE GOT MAD WHEN SEEING SOMEONE FLUFF ME FOR THE SHOOT...HE STORM OFF...I DON'T FEEL I DID ANYTHING WRONG..HOWEVER, IT HURT ME SO MUCH THAT HE'S HURT...LONG STORY SHORT...FEW WORDS WERE EXCHANGE AND NOW I'M NOT SURE IF I CAN BE BACK WITH HIM...I LOVE HIM AND CARE FOR HIM..BUT WHAT HAPPEND REALLY HURTS...ALL OF A SUDDEN I FEEL LIKE HE NEVER KNEW ME AT ALL...WHAT WOULD U DO IN MY SITUATION...


ah ok Yasmin Lee, that is why you have blocked my AOL Name for your Instant Messages. You have already found another boyfriend and so u arent interested anymore in me. And before u told always cause its difficult, because Im from oversea (Europe)........

[YasminLee]

thk u so much for all these great advices..I DROVE TO SEE HIM YESTERDAY..ALMOST GOT TO HIS HOUSE WHEN HE SAID HE'S NOT DONE WITH HIS FRIENDS YET...HE'LL MEET ME AT MY HOUSE...SO I DROVE BACK HOME...COUPLE HOURS LATER HE WAS OVER..GAVE ME A HUG, SMALL KISSES AND SMILE WHILE I WAS DRIPPING IN TEARS...I EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT HAPPEND,,,HOW IT'S PART OF MY WORK...AND THAT SOMETIMES REALITY USUALLY CONQUERS A FANTASY...HIS PHONE RANG AND HE LEFT ME CRYING TO GO CRUISING THE STREET WITH HIS FRIENDS.....I'M SURE NOW THAT HE'S NOT GONNA BE IN MY LIFE...JUST WHAT DO I DO NOW TO MAKE MYSELF STOP CRYING...

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Yasmin, gurl youre pretty..so I wouldnt worry about it as much. Tho there's an old saying "To get over an old man is to go under a new one!" Youre still young so go out, socialize and enjoy life being single for now. Youll eventually meet someone special Im sure. :wink:

~Kisses.

HTG

[BeardedOne]

Jeez...

Tough choice: Stick with a lovely gurl and make a go of it or go bar-hoppin' with my budz?

Hmm...

That's a tough one. :roll:

Sounds like a sign from Cupid that his aim was off a bit on this round. :(

Don't know what to offer to make the tears stop, Yasmin. :?

[YasminLee]

u guys are right..i should let it go and meet newpeople.....i'm gonna stay low a little first though./..a vaction or something would be nice right now...bye everyone..and thk u again

[rvince]

It may be a silly question, but if he was there, why wasn't he the one fluffing you? My guess was he felt useless/left out if you had another "fluffer"...

As Ecstatic said "I wish you the best whichever way it falls."

[BeardedOne]

u guys are right..i should let it go and meet newpeople.....i'm gonna stay low a little first though./..a vaction or something would be nice right now...bye everyone..and thk u again

Try my Fiji suggestion. :)

Big postcard. HUGE. :D

Showing lots of white sand and clear, blue water. :twisted:

Take care of you.

[Trogdor]

Plain and simple, this fellow was a total smeghead who does not know it when he has something good.

Some guys would deport their own grandmother to get a babe half as good as Yasmin, and this jagoff has a girl that most guys can only dream of having, he gets Tommy Lee Syndrome ( when Tommy Lee was first married to pamela, he'd go ape shit if he saw another person even LOOKING at Pamela ) and starts acting like a brat.

Yasmin, I think him being gone might have been a blessing in disguise, cause had he really cared, he'd have stayed and not go clubbing or whatever the hell he went off doing. Best to find someone who really does care for you. :idea:

And that gimp pisses me off too, cause piles of parrot dropings like him makes the rest of us dudes who have a brain and know when being in the company of a good woman, we cherish everything about that, makes us look bad.

To the roach motel that did all this to Yasmin, if you are reading this.....do us all a favor........put your hands around your neck, and squeeze very hard and do not let go, mkay?

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

http://merenwen13.blogspot.com/2005/10/5-surefire-ways-to-get-over-guy.html

5 Surefire Ways To Get Over A Guy

1) Like another guy.

This way is usually the quickest, easiest, and most foolproof way of getting over a guy that you previously liked, or that bastard ex-boyfriend you want to forget as soon as possible. All your attention, which previously was diverted to meaningless activities like doodling the ex's name on your textbooks, slobbering over that photo of your crush that you secretly took months before and which is set as your handphone wallpaper, thinking of him, or crying over him, is now channelled to something much more meaningful - another guy.

Of course, the new guy will also turn out to be a bastard and break your heart, but that'll be a while down the road, and when that happens just turn your attention to a new guy again. And the cycle goes on, but who cares? At least it gets your mind off the previous motherfucker.


2) Get him drunk.

When guys are drunk they will react only one of five ways - they get horny, they get violent, they spout nonsense, they spill all their innermost secrets truthfully, or they fall asleep.

In the first case, they'll start groping you and asking you for sex and trying to force themselves on you. In this case, you will be so terrified and mortified that the guy you've liked so much for so long is actually a pervert who's trying to rape you. Unless, of course, you yourself want desperately to sleep with him, but otherwise this is an almost-guaranteed way of turning you off.

In the second case, they'll either beat you up, beat someone else up, get into a random fight, or hit inanimate objects like lampposts and the beer glasses. Would you really want a guy who might just turn violent and hit you at any time, or destroy property which you have to pay for? Imagine your wedding dinner, when all your friends are plying him with drinks, and later in the privacy of your wedding suite he beats you up. Worse, after that he can't get it up.

In the third case, what if he tells you he's always loved you and wants to marry you? The next day, when you happily tell him what he said, believing that finally you guys can be together, he scratches his head and tells you he can't remember/he always talks crap when drunk/he told the same thing last night to all the girls - and guys - in the group. And then he asks why are you so happy about it, and did you really think he liked you? You'll have to come up with an answer that can save your ass quick.

In the fourth case, he confesses to you that he's always liked your best friend. 'Nuff said.

Lastly, I don't really think you'd think a guy is so hot anymore after seeing him sprawled on the road in his own vomit, and snoring loudly to boot.


3) Watch Jay Chou's concert DVDs/MTVs nonstop.

Seriously.

It really helps if you're intending to utilise Plan 1 as stated above. Your attention is diverted to another guy. You'll never get your heart broken by Jay Chou because you won't even have a chance of going near him. And the more you start appreciating his prodigious talent, the more you'll start wondering how on earth you liked a guy who was so... bleah and talentless and poor as compared to Jay Chou.

Plus, you might get brainwashed by his ballads, most of which have lyrics that go roughly like "You've left me/I'm all alone now/But I promise I'll be strong/And I'll forget you soon/So go and be happy/You don't need me/But I don't need you too". Something to that effect. If these lyrics make you sadder, go listen to Ba, Wo Hui Lai Le (Dad, I'm Back). "Since I was young I've seen my dad hit my mum/Why is my dad that way/Why is he always drunk/I wish I could take my mum and leave/But my mum tells me to obey my dad/Why should I obey you/Why should I call you dad/You hit my mum/Do you think that's right". Imagine that the wife-beater Jay Chou is singing about is that guy. The creep!


4) Get yourself fat/ugly/both.

See, men are all innately shallow. Once you get yourself nicely round and blobby and cellulite-dimpled, he'll either stop wanting to see you completely, cold-shoulder you, or at the very least he'll start paying marginally more attention to, or being nicer to, the slimmer and prettier girls around. The best part about this plan is that you get to eat like a pig, and eat all your favourite, most sinful foods while you try to fatten yourself up.

Obviously, this isn't a very viable plan, since most girls will not want to get fat, and some girls just naturally can't get fat (you lucky bitches!). In which case, skillful application of makeup to look like you're having an acne outbreak of the type that even doctors refuse to treat will work just as well. Don't worry, men are also inherently stupid and borderline blind; just like how they can't tell when we use makeup to cover our zits, they also can't tell when we use the same products to create zits.


5) Get him a girlfriend.

It'll hurt at first, seeing him so lovey-dovey and sweet with a girl who could have been you, but don't worry; before long you won't even get to see him at all. Because his new girl will soon turn really possessive and start staring daggers at you (and all his female friends), and threatening breakups each time he so much as tosses a smile in your general direction.

But what if the girl's your good friend, who might turn on all other females in the world except you? That's even better. As we all know, even the best guys turn into morons after a period of familiarity. Soon your friend will be confiding in you about his filthy habit of wearing the same pair of briefs 4 days in a row because it's his favourite pair; his irritating habit of baby-talking his car ("Hello baby, how's my favourite little bao bei today? Oh no oh no baby's got nasty icky pigeon poo-poo on your bonnet! Don't worry, daddy will take you for a nice wash-wash!"); and his sad affliction of premature ejaculation. It won't be long before you start feeling thankful that you didn't get him after all.

__________________________________________________ ___________

LOL..That was funny. :lol: :wink:

~Kisses.

HTG

[BeardedOne]

Y'know, Ms. Hara, I was going to write a witty response to that....

But it's so damned true! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Especially the part about the car:

"C'mon, sweetheart! Start for daddy! You can do it, baby! Just one more turn, hun!"

:lol: :lol:

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Hehe..LOL. Im guessing you laughed so hard your thoughts got side tracked for a minute in writing those responses B1! Glad you liked it! :lol: :wink: It was Funny! :P

~Kisses.

HTG

[BeardedOne]

Hehe..LOL. Im guessing you laughed so hard your thoughts got side tracked for a minute in writing those responses B1! Glad you liked it! :lol: :wink: It was Funny! :P

I am so easily sidetracked, Ms. Hara. Remember, I learned to drive trams and subway cars when I was thirteen and didn't learn to drive motorcars until I was nineteen. :wink:

[SleeplessInSeattle]

If possible - never mix your professional life with your personal life. I imagine that lines can get blurred...but, I never take work home with me, and I never take my home to work.

SleeplessInSeattle

[JohnnyVee]

I don't presume to offer you relationship advice, but only to wish you well.

Please patient with yourself and allow yourself to find time to heal.

[Ponyboy]

There are 3 issues here:

1. First is his response to the filming - Men can respond in several ways to this and it can vary depending on his mood. He could have taken it as something of interest, or he could have been proud of you. But in this instance, he could have felt excluded or even disgusted that something that was so special to him seemed cheapened. All these responses are understandable.

2. The second issue is how he responds when he gets angry. When we lose it we all say things we regret. He didnt get violent. But has he come back to talk about it?

3. A third issue is 'why did he suddenly want to see the filming?' - was it just out of interest or was something eating at him that he wanted to check out - maybe this isnt the real issue.

He might not even know his true motives - people need time to sort out their feelings. Give him time. And give yourself time, as painful as it is.

I love you Yasmin

[BeardedOne]

And here I have to ask...

Did it work out? :shock:

What happened? :?:

Some other posts I've read seem to suggest that the waters have calmed since your first post.

Dish, gurl! We wanna know that you're OK.

Really.