Beware this girl - a horror story

[Prospero]

I received this PM a few weeks back from a guy who was worried and wanted advice:

"Hi I recently slept with XXX without a condom stupidly as i was drunk. You seem to have lots of information on her i was wondering is she ok or should i be seriously worried?"

He wrote to me this morning. He has tested HIV positive. Now he faces hell. he is married. He is sick. He is scared.And he is angry. I can see why.

So I am posting on here to warn anyone who might be tempted to see her.
So to all the guys who see escorts - don't risk your life and, if you are married or have a partner, your relationship for a few stupid moments of risky fun.

[miketaylor912]

how can we allow this girl to offer her services when we know she is hiv positive she should be reported to the police,if she is trying to sleep with guys bareback then she is trying to commit manslaughter !! her infected body should be kicked out of the country !!

[Turlington]

Some folks will never learn... :smh

[Stavros]

I received this PM a few weeks back from a guy who was worried and wanted advice:

"Hi I recently slept with xxxx without a condom stupidly as i was drunk. You seem to have lots of information on her i was wondering is she ok or should i be seriously worried?"

He wrote to me this morning. He has tested HIV positive. Now he faces hell. he is married. He is sick. He is scared.And he is angry. I can see why.

So I am posting on here to warn anyone who might be tempted to see her.

So to all the guys who see escorts - don't risk your life and, if you are married or have a partner, your relationship for a few stupid moments of risky fun.

Without mitigating the importance of the thread, and even with the evidence XXX performs sex without a condom, are we to assume that the man concerned knows without a doubt that he became infected from having sex without a condom with XXX and not from another source, and that XXXis indeed HIV positive? There is a critical difference between behaviour deemed 'reckless' and behaviour deemed 'intentional', although I doubt this man is going to pursue XXX in the courts, the burdens of proof courts require need to be understood. An issue as serious as this one ought to be verified on both sides before allegations are made.

The Terence Higgins Trust has provided some very useful guides which can be accessed here:

http://www.tht.org.uk/myhiv/Telling-people/Law

[nysprod]

I received this PM a few weeks back from a guy who was worried and wanted advice:

"Hi I recently slept with XXX without a condom stupidly as i was drunk. You seem to have lots of information on her i was wondering is she ok or should i be seriously worried?"

He wrote to me this morning. He has tested HIV positive. Now he faces hell. he is married. He is sick. He is scared.And he is angry. I can see why.

So I am posting on here to warn anyone who might be tempted to see her.


So to all the guys who see escorts - don't risk your life and, if you are married or have a partner, your relationship for a few stupid moments of risky fun.

Would you mind terribly if I inject a bit of logic here:

If a prostitute offers you unprotected anal sex assume they have HIV until proven otherwise.

[Prospero]

Pending legal advice the ID of the escort has been removed.

[Prospero]

If a prostitute offers you unprotected anal sex assume they have HIV until proven otherwise.

I heard tell yesterday of a guy who visits the UK and Spain regularly from Paris who boasts that he has slept with scores of girls in London and Spain and engaged in anal intercourse and only twice used a condom. No need for him to get tested I guess.

[nysprod]

Pending legal advice the ID of the escort has been removed.

Right, how could it be assumed this yoyo got it from XXX just because he says he had unprotected sex with her...and odds are he was the bottom anyway.


I heard tell yesterday of a guy who visits the UK and Spain regularly from Paris who boasts that he has slept with scores of girls in London and Spain and engaged in anal intercourse and only twice used a condom. No need for him to get tested I guess.

I throw out around 75% of what I hear as unripe bullpoop...

[Stavros]

What is important about this topic, as shown in the summaries of the law provided by the Terence Higgins Trust, is that it is not enough for A to claim he was infected by B -the Court not only requires blood tests to be made, but for both parties to reveal the details of their sexual history (and this can go back 10 years) as well as evidence that might be on their computers. Even if in this case the person accused of bareback sex is revealed to be HIV positive, it would not be sufficient to obtain a conviction -a court would also need to know about the sexual history of the man making the accusation -indeed, the extent of the revelations that are required on both sides is just one reason why many such cases never get to court in the first place.

[GroobySteven]

I've removed any identifying information. This is hearsay from one individual.

The ethos stands - if you sleep with ANYONE you should take precautions.

[Genetic]

May I suggest something:

In some forums for GG punting there is a sticky thread which is kept updated by a moderator or admin of all girls who offer bareback. No allegations are allowed, just simply the list is there as a warning and it is based on adultwork profiles or information from multiple trustworthy posters who are unconnected. Once a working girl is added, they are never removed from the list even if they stop offering that service, because they have in the past.

Perhaps something like that would be worth implementing here? Posters would be allowed to post links to girls offering bareback and then once a month those names are added to the initial post and then all other posts are deleted. That way it's not a discussion thread, simply an up to date one post list.

Does that sound feasible if it were in the Escort Reviews section?

[Turlington]

Don't know why you were thumbed down, but I'm cool with that. Any working girl offering bareback is an instant red flag to me.

[GroobySteven]

May I suggest something:

In some forums for GG punting there is a sticky thread which is kept updated by a moderator or admin of all girls who offer bareback. No allegations are allowed, just simply the list is there as a warning and it is based on adultwork profiles or information from multiple trustworthy posters who are unconnected. Once a working girl is added, they are never removed from the list even if they stop offering that service, because they have in the past.

Perhaps something like that would be worth implementing here? Posters would be allowed to post links to girls offering bareback and then once a month those names are added to the initial post and then all other posts are deleted. That way it's not a discussion thread, simply an up to date one post list.

Does that sound feasible if it were in the Escort Reviews section?


I think stating a girl does bareback would be fine if it's as warning and in principle I agree but I hope it doesn't become somewhere where people search our bareback providers ... then again, maybe they deserve each other?

[lifeisfiction]

While I understand non-disclosure, just note that if you do have further information that proves otherwise, I would suggest a proper means of informing the public. As much as someone has the option to use protection, there is no excuse under the sun for a person not disclose their status. Because protection will fail and you will put people at risk. Silence is deadly.

[youngblood61]

Don't know why you were thumbed down, but I'm cool with that. Any working girl offering bareback is an instant red flag to me.:iagree:

[youngblood61]

If your not sure, wrap it up!

[buttslinger]

I don't think a Govt-Run Sticky on SAFE SEX would be out of line on this site,
I used to take a nice long piss after a blow job, flush that stuff out of the danger zone.
I also kept anti-biotics around the house and would do a small course a few days after risky behavior, but I have no idea if that did anything or not. AIDs is a virus, nothing you can do about a virus, but they say drinking coffee when you're drunk doesn't help either. Some anti-virals might do good if done while the STD is young and weak. But I'm just guessing, I have no idea. Is there a Doctor in the House??
I've called the Aids Hotline before, they'll answer any question, but I'm pretty sure they've be warned over and over not to say anything that could put them on the wrong side of a court case. So it's a little bit like asking your Mom for sex advice.
An article in the Washington Post said that (don't quote me) something like 98% of the AIDS cases in DC are in the social strata that makes under 10 grand a year.
I am sure there are lots of tips some of the readers here might know or not know, does gargling with mouthwash kill all germs after oral sex ? Is there a lube that fights infection during anal or vaginal sex without a condom?

The one time I got an STD it turned out to be a rare strain that was resistant to penicillin. The Health Dept showed up at my JOB, and gave me the 3rd degree. Not Cool.

[flabbybody]

sad story, but it's also about drinking responsibly. "I was drunk" doesn't cut it when you've run down a pedestrian in your car because your BAL was double the legal limit.
I try to keep my excessive alcohol consumption limited to the confines of my home when I'm by myself. That way I can't hurt anyone besides me, and no one will see me when I fall down.

[Stavros]

May I suggest something:

In some forums for GG punting there is a sticky thread which is kept updated by a moderator or admin of all girls who offer bareback. No allegations are allowed, just simply the list is there as a warning and it is based on adultwork profiles or information from multiple trustworthy posters who are unconnected. Once a working girl is added, they are never removed from the list even if they stop offering that service, because they have in the past.

Perhaps something like that would be worth implementing here? Posters would be allowed to post links to girls offering bareback and then once a month those names are added to the initial post and then all other posts are deleted. That way it's not a discussion thread, simply an up to date one post list.

Does that sound feasible if it were in the Escort Reviews section?

What would stop someone with a grudge against an escort from claiming bareback sex is on the menu? Would she automatically go on the list or is there some way of finding out if the allegation is true before she is 'named and shamed'? There have been cases of posts in the Escort Reviews section making allegations against escorts which have been malicious -it is a difficult issue on which to be certain, in my opinion.

[fivekatz]

Sorry but if a player doesn't wear a raincoat he has only his lust and poor judgment to blame.

[lifeisfiction]

Sorry but if a player doesn't wear a raincoat he has only his lust and poor judgment to blame.

Condoms break.

[Genetic]

I think stating a girl does bareback would be fine if it's as warning and in principle I agree but I hope it doesn't become somewhere where people search our bareback providers ... then again, maybe they deserve each other?

Other forums where I have seen it have it worded as a warning with an abstract that reads along the lines of "Don't risk your health it's not worth it, play safe". I don't think there's too much of a risk of people using a forum to find bareback providers if the list is alphabetical rather than regional.



What would stop someone with a grudge against an escort from claiming bareback sex is on the menu? Would she automatically go on the list or is there some way of finding out if the allegation is true before she is 'named and shamed'? There have been cases of posts in the Escort Reviews section making allegations against escorts which have been malicious -it is a difficult issue on which to be certain, in my opinion.

Like I said, it would be based on their adultwork profiles and on feedback provided by multiple reliable reviewers. Posts from unknown members would be disregarded to stop escorts from being added to the list as a result of grudges.

Perhaps it would work better if it were based purely on Adultwork/BP profiles and the thread were locked but posters could submit warnings to admin/mods and then it's at their discretion to add the escort tp the list or not.

[notdrunk]

Condoms break.

A condom wasn't involved in this instance. Darwin strikes again but it has caused fatal results this time.

[maaarc]

well, alcohol is a great slave and a terrible master. I'm sorry for both parties - In the end we all have it come in one way or the other - I guess it don't seem real that your life could end over a simple thing like a fuck................ some times it does http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zKCIf-vfbc

[GroobySteven]

A condom wasn't involved in this instance. Darwin strikes again but it has caused fatal results this time.


Also condoms rarely break. It's a silly excuse. If you're not willing to take any risk during sex, then play really safe - don't do it.

[Prospero]

Perspective again please.

1. Unprotected sex is an act of great foolishness. The only time you should is within a long term relationship and,these days, unless you've been married for years, a new relationship should involve getting tested - and proving both are clear. This is, sadly, especially true in gay relationships. So the simple truth is do not have anal sex without a condom - active or passive.

2. Condoms do - very occasionally - break. But the statistical chances of this happening and of it happening with a partner who is HIV positive are tiny. Plus having sex with an HIV positive partner does not necessarily mean you will automatically become infected. So it is a risk of such an infinitesimal sort that it is not really worth thinking about.

3. The guy who told me about his plight is already fucked-up (by his own admission) so the instant treatment available could not be applied. he had to wait for full test results.

4. We are past the eara of HIV automatically equalling a death sentence. In the developing world this is certainly true when it progresses to AIDS - but in the West the degree of drug treatment available is superb and means those who are infected can live near normal lives, bar the need to be ever vigilant about taking medication and the risk of infecting others. The financial cost in the US is immense i beleive, but in the UK drugs are free on the NHS, bar the cost of prescriptions. The sort of terrible outcome portrayed, most recently, in "Dallas Buyers Club' does not generally pertain today. However HIV is surely a filthy rotten companion which those who have it will have to cope with all their lives. But those here saying unprotected sex is fatal are exaggerating.

5. HIV is not the only risk when having unprotected sex. Hepetitus C is also a vile condition to contract as are the old STDs - with Syphilis now become incresingly resistant to the old anti-biotics.

6. Finally I have had several PMs asking me to identify the accused girl in question. Sorry. After consideration, the wise counsel of Stavros and the site owner i removed the identifying info. It seems likely but not certain she was the cause of this guys infection. But until proven in a court of law she has to be deemed innocent of this - and thus I'll not be naming her again in public or private.

[lifeisfiction]

Sex involves risk. I remember sleeping with these two different women in six months and having the condom put on correctly break. Thank goodness for the morning after pill, but it made me realize it may happen more than we think. That is why I am saying that. I am not trying to excuse his behavior.

And to your point 4 Prospero, while yes its much more treatable these days. It still will cut your life span.

[BlkJewels]

I think he is full of shit. Probably just want to flame a provider. 'I was drunk' is a branch on the bullsh!t tree.

[dderek123]

well, alcohol is a great slave and a terrible master. I'm sorry for both parties - In the end we all have it come in one way or the other - I guess it don't seem real that your life could end over a simple thing like a fuck................ some times it does http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zKCIf-vfbc

That's my favourite cowboy movie. When Clint starts drinking whisky you know someone's going to pay for what they did to Ned.

[fred41]

Studies show that on average that life expectancy is still cut...however, it shouldn't shorten your life span if you are tested and start treatment early (350 plus...CD4 count)...and lead a healthy life style.

[9inches99]

Hi

I am the person who this has happened to. I would just like to thank prospero for doing the thread as i asked him to. As a result of a stupid mistake I now have HIV for the rest of my life. I just hope other people don't make the same mistake I did.

[Prospero]

I confirm this is the guy who kept me informed privately and consulted with me for advice on what to do when he feared he was infected.

[musclebeach]

Ive been lurking around on these boards for a long time. Ive seen numerous posts and threads discussing the topic of HIV escorts but every thread I can rememberit has mentioned only one escort every time. I know you are nott going to name. But are you willing to confirm the oerson in question is the same person that there has been much debate on, on here in the past?

If it is the same person I find it a shame that much discussion has gone on about what action could or should be taken, maybe by members of this site, to stop the spread of infection. Yet nothing has been done and some one has been infected.

[stan.smith]

Hi

I am the person who this has happened to. I would just like to thank prospero for doing the thread as i asked him to. As a result of a stupid mistake I now have HIV for the rest of my life. I just hope other people don't make the same mistake I did.

Damn bro I'm sorry for what happened to you. I know how it is to lose all inhibition under the influence of that cruel mistress called alcohol. i stopped drinking for a while now and if i do drink its in the presence of good company at home or some1s house only. I can't get into stupid shit if I'm not out in public right?!. anyway bro feel free to ask any questions here, pm or openly. im sure everyone will be glad to help in whatever way they can. and not to be nosey but have you told your wife about it yet? if yes how is everything in your personal life?
Take care

[stan.smith]

Apart from personally hating condoms catching an STD is the main reason i NEVER have intercourse with a provider, GG or TG. i just stick to good old foreplay and oral, far less chances of catching an STD.

[joeninety]

Its a double edged sword on the one hand the guy was crazy drunk or not, and now he is paying the price for sleeping with a complete stranger unprotected.

On the otherhand the Escort in question is one sick Mofo if she knowingly infected this guy, having now ruined not only his life but possibly his innocent wife's too.

Stupidity and ruthlessness is a dangerous cocktail always best to play it safe.

[saifan]

Without a condom, the published chances of a top getting HIV from a positive bottom is about 1 in 1,666.
http://www.sfcityclinic.org/drk/stdprevention51.asp

Hard stat to wrap your head around. Stay strong 9inches.

[Genetic]

Ive seen numerous posts and threads discussing the topic of HIV escorts but every thread I can rememberit has mentioned only one escort every time. I know you are nott going to name. But are you willing to confirm the oerson in question is the same person that there has been much debate on, on here in the past?

From seeing the thread before it was redacted I can confirm it was someone different. They do however have bareback listed as one of the things they do, so that should be a red flag for most people.



Apart from personally hating condoms catching an STD is the main reason i NEVER have intercourse with a provider, GG or TG. i just stick to good old foreplay and oral, far less chances of catching an STD.

Not wishing to pick on you, but because this thread has been educational really, I hope you know that you still have a large change of catching something. As you said, it's less chance but it's still a significant risk. Again not picking on you but I kinda felt someone should mention it in case anyone reading is unaware.



Without a condom, the published chances of a top getting HIV from a positive bottom is about 1 in 1,666.
http://www.sfcityclinic.org/drk/stdprevention51.asp

Hard stat to wrap your head around. Stay strong 9inches.

Isn't it also something like only a 5% chance if you're a bottom with a HIV top? Obviously I'm not encouraging it but I don't understand where these statistics come from considering the infection rate. Provided 9inches did catch it from this escort the chance is remote going by published figures which doesn't make sense to me. I'm not questioning him at all just that the stats seem a lot lower than they should be.

[joeninety]

Without a condom, the published chances of a top getting HIV from a positive bottom is about 1 in 1,666.
http://www.sfcityclinic.org/drk/stdprevention51.asp

Hard stat to wrap your head around. Stay strong 9inches.

You have to be careful when looking at statistical data because unless you have a full set of data and all the determining factors, results can be easily skewed and as is the case, are often manipulated.

Case in point the article below you originally posted here suggests circumcision as a means of reducing risk of HIV transmission
http://www.sfcityclinic.org/drk/stdprevention51.asp

But if you look at the data in this article, it actually now suggests if you are circumcised you are more likely to contract HIV
http://joseph4gi.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/where-circumcision-doesnt-prevent-hiv.html

You should never blindly put your trust into a set of statistics.

[glossydolly123]

I received this PM a few weeks back from a guy who was worried and wanted advice:

"Hi I recently slept with XXX without a condom stupidly as i was drunk. You seem to have lots of information on her i was wondering is she ok or should i be seriously worried?"

He wrote to me this morning. He has tested HIV positive. Now he faces hell. he is married. He is sick. He is scared.And he is angry. I can see why.

So I am posting on here to warn anyone who might be tempted to see her.
So to all the guys who see escorts - don't risk your life and, if you are married or have a partner, your relationship for a few stupid moments of risky fun.

OK. So who is this girl. Or can you not tell owing to litigation concerns?

[christianxxx]

what this thread doesn't state or what people assume is that this dude was topping the girl bareback. which i can almost guarantee is false. He didn't put the condom on, SHE didn't put the condom on. Let's also state that the escort probably ejaculated inside of him as well.

If he was topping then the risk is SIGNIFICANTLY lower.

[Prospero]

what this thread doesn't state or what people assume is that this dude was topping the girl bareback. which i can almost guarantee is false. He didn't put the condom on, SHE didn't put the condom on. Let's also state that the escort probably ejaculated inside of him as well.

If he was topping then the risk is SIGNIFICANTLY lower.

I think your assumptions are spot on Christian.... in that he spent the night with he and they had sex multiple times (so he advised me in a PM)

[Odelay]

Hi

I am the person who this has happened to. I would just like to thank prospero for doing the thread as i asked him to. As a result of a stupid mistake I now have HIV for the rest of my life. I just hope other people don't make the same mistake I did.
I wish you well. Hope you can rebuild your life. Sounds like you have wife/family issues to sort out and that does suck. But at the same time, I hope you know how truly lucky you are. Many people are given second chances in life and I'd lay good odds that if you take advantage of it, you will be part of this group.

Other people don't have a prayer of getting a second chance, mostly those that serve any time in prison for an infraction big or small. Try rebuilding a career or even getting a simple job once you have a record. It used to be that the biggest fear of doing time was getting it up the butt. These days that fear doesn't compare to the internet background check (a modern sword of damocles) that follows you around as you search for work, once out of prison. Oh and then try to search out for a new relationship while you're on probation/unemployed/underemployed for life. She better be a helluva sweetheart to put up with all of that.

While there are boxes to check on an application that ask whether you have a felony record, there is no such box for HIV positivity, nor is it likely to come up on anything but the most severely extensive and probably illegal background check.

The disease is manageable, far better than many other diseases like MS, ALS and Parkinsons. And it's way better than paralysis from say an auto accident or an amputation from serving in a war.

In the end, it could be a big wake up call to set your life right. Or it could be very difficult psychologically and emotionally and prove a huge challenge to getting back the life you once had. When I say you're lucky, I'm not saying you'll have it easy. Tough days/years ahead for sure, and like I said, I wish you the best.