a sincere question for the ladies...

[nyctraveler]

and any guys with advice-
I was wondering if their is a tactful, respectful way to ask a tg if she is fully functional when you first meet. It may be an off question but Im heading to one of the parties and don't know how to approach the subject. It's an awkward question to ask, but it helps to know, and its not exactly like asking "what's your sign?" (not that i do that!);-) I met a couple of girls back in the day and it was always a mystery till you're all alone. Some are very advanced in their transformation and some are not; sometimes its the hormones, and, of course, sometimes two people just don't click. I figure it's an awkward question on both sides, no? Well that's why i'm reaching out to see if anyone has any wisdom to share.
thanks!

[suckseed]

FWIW, I think that asking that question on a first meeting is going to get every possible response, some truthful, some not. If things were progressing well, hopefully you could cop a feel. Nobody likes to feel pressured to perform sexually. If she's functional and turned on, you'll know. If she's not, I'd try to be understanding about it, and maybe make the evening about what she wants. Which could be anything from lots of foreplay, to bottoming for you, to watching a movie ad eating ice cream.

[BeardedOne]

Your mileage may vary. :D

What a great phrase. And so useful.

My range of topics, on the rare occasion that I am speaking face-to-face with someone, can vary quite a bit and tends to lean in one direction or another based on the comfort levels developed while we chat. With some, I'll be wary of asking if they are a vegetarian or not, whether they smoke, etc. With others, I'll get right down to basics like "Really?!? Exactly how big =is= it? Can I see it?". :lol:

In recent years (Not sure what the trigger moment was) I've found that I shifted rather heavily from too-polite milktoast to overly-agressive gadabout and seem to be more direct in my approach. Though I don't actually see myself asking such a question before the clothing is shed, I don't see any problem with being fairly direct about it, especially if the runway lights are already blinking the path to the bedroom when the question (And whatever else) arises.

[flabbybody]

no. ... there's no way to respectfully ask a tgirl if she's functional. you might as well just say to her "you're nothing more than a sexual fetish to me, I want to see you get hard cause I'm basically gay and can't bear to be with a guy yet, but I'm headed (no pun intended) in that direction very shortly"

yes, I'm joking.
please don't start the 'am I gay thread'.
but if you ever ask a girl if she's functional, you're a total loser.

[d]

no. ... there's no way to respectfully ask a tgirl if she's functional. you might as well just say to her "you're nothing more than a sexual fetish to me, I want to see you get hard cause I'm basically gay and can't bear to be with a guy yet, but I'm headed (no pun intended) in that direction very shortly"

yes, I'm joking.
please don't start the 'am I gay thread'.
but if you ever ask a girl if she's functional, you're a total loser.

:rock2 ....excellent post man....

[AllanahStarrNYC]

what would i do if someone asked me that in person at a bar, party, on social setting?

give them a dirty look, politely excuse myself, and walk away and think what a loser.

i was once at one of my parties having a perfectly normal conversation with a guy who i had met 10 minutes prior, and then all of a sudden he asked me to give him a french kiss. i politely declined- and he got mad. he said 'well you do porn films and you won't give me a kiss?

so i gave him a dirty look, excused myself, walked away, and told my friends what a loser he was.

only you can prvent forest fires, only YOU :twisted:

[cheribaum]

I LOVE YOU ALLANAH, KEEPING IT REAL!!!!

[BSMike]

This isn't a flame, I just find the question outrageous. I'm currently enamoured with a girl that I met while temping last year. I knew her for about four months before I was certain she was trans. I have no idea if she's on hormones, pre-op or post-op. I don't really care, she's cute as hell. I'm just trying to get a freaking date with her. The last thing I think I'd do is ask "So, do you still have your dick, and does it still get hard?"

[PapiQueRico]

I would never ask this question. Something funny did happen one day. I used to go to the peep shows where you would jack off in the booth - its a habit I formed at 14 years old LOL. Showworld had a stage with just TS. I was doing my normal thing rubbing her breast jackin. Next thing I know she started jackin too. To my surprise she busted a nutt as I was rubbing her breats and we were both jackin. Before that I never thought about the functioning issue. It was the first time it actually was presented to me LOL. It was funny cause she went in the back to clean herself up and the other gals were teasing her because they said she came like a guy. She was fine ... damn I miss those days LOL

[nyctraveler]

FWIW, I think that asking that question on a first meeting is going to get every possible response, some truthful, some not. If things were progressing well, hopefully you could cop a feel. Nobody likes to feel pressured to perform sexually. If she's functional and turned on, you'll know. If she's not, I'd try to be understanding about it, and maybe make the evening about what she wants. Which could be anything from lots of foreplay, to bottoming for you, to watching a movie ad eating ice cream.
thanks, i appreciate the note, but i don't think im just reaching over and copping a feel; i'm not a gynecolegist;-).
i have learned this much- it's always about what she wants[/u]

[nyctraveler]

Your mileage may vary. :D

What a great phrase. And so useful.

My range of topics, on the rare occasion that I am speaking face-to-face with someone, can vary quite a bit and tends to lean in one direction or another based on the comfort levels developed while we chat. With some, I'll be wary of asking if they are a vegetarian or not, whether they smoke, etc. With others, I'll get right down to basics like "Really?!? Exactly how big =is= it? Can I see it?". :lol:

In recent years (Not sure what the trigger moment was) I've found that I shifted rather heavily from too-polite milktoast to overly-agressive gadabout and seem to be more direct in my approach. Though I don't actually see myself asking such a question before the clothing is shed, I don't see any problem with being fairly direct about it, especially if the runway lights are already blinking the path to the bedroom when the question (And whatever else) arises.
very insightful; i also realised the milk toast was too soft; the trigger moment was that gazed "are you kidding" look. thanks for the feedback

[nyctraveler]

what would i do if someone asked me that in person at a bar, party, on social setting?

give them a dirty look, politely excuse myself, and walk away and think what a loser.

i was once at one of my parties having a perfectly normal conversation with a guy who i had met 10 minutes prior, and then all of a sudden he asked me to give him a french kiss. i politely declined- and he got mad. he said 'well you do porn films and you won't give me a kiss?

so i gave him a dirty look, excused myself, walked away, and told my friends what a loser he was.

only you can prvent forest fires, only YOU :twisted: Safe to say some people deserve a slapping more than others. I guess I never asked the question flat out mostly because i couldn't find a repectful, polite way to do so. good common sense, maybe. Thank you for taking the time to respond, much appreciated.

[nyctraveler]

no. ... there's no way to respectfully ask a tgirl if she's functional. you might as well just say to her "you're nothing more than a sexual fetish to me, I want to see you get hard cause I'm basically gay and can't bear to be with a guy yet, but I'm headed (no pun intended) in that direction very shortly"

yes, I'm joking.
please don't start the 'am I gay thread'.
but if you ever ask a girl if she's functional, you're a total loser.

oh, no, do you think i'm gay??? :D

I see your point, there is alot of truth to your jokes! I am very secure and comfortable with myself and my sexuality now (but wasn't born that way). I prefer tg's for a number of reasons, less having to do with fetish and more to do with compatibilty and a unique take on the world. It's not easy finding the right person, no matter who you're looking for, but it's probably a good idea to work out those issues you mentioned prior to approaching a tg seriously. Otherwise it is just chasing a fetish rather than trying to strike up a real relationship (that's just my opinion, anyway). I'm going to these parties for a chance to meet a special girl in a social way; if i wanted to just see a girl with a hard on I know where Eros is :wink:

[nyctraveler]

no. ... there's no way to respectfully ask a tgirl if she's functional. you might as well just say to her "you're nothing more than a sexual fetish to me, I want to see you get hard cause I'm basically gay and can't bear to be with a guy yet, but I'm headed (no pun intended) in that direction very shortly"

yes, I'm joking.
please don't start the 'am I gay thread'.
but if you ever ask a girl if she's functional, you're a total loser.

oh, no, do you think i'm gay??? :D

I see your point, there is alot of truth to your jokes! I am very secure and comfortable with myself and my sexuality now (but wasn't born that way). I prefer tg's for a number of reasons, less having to do with fetish and more to do with compatibilty and a unique take on the world. It's not easy finding the right person, no matter who you're looking for, but it's probably a good idea to work out those issues you mentioned prior to approaching a tg seriously. Otherwise it is just chasing a fetish rather than trying to strike up a real relationship (that's just my opinion, anyway). I'm going to these parties for a chance to meet a special girl in a social way; if i wanted to just see a girl with a hard on I know where Eros is :wink:

[Jamie Michelle]

and any guys with advice-
I was wondering if their is a tactful, respectful way to ask a tg if she is fully functional when you first meet. It may be an off question but Im heading to one of the parties and don't know how to approach the subject. It's an awkward question to ask, but it helps to know, and its not exactly like asking "what's your sign?" (not that i do that!);-) I met a couple of girls back in the day and it was always a mystery till you're all alone. Some are very advanced in their transformation and some are not; sometimes its the hormones, and, of course, sometimes two people just don't click. I figure it's an awkward question on both sides, no? Well that's why i'm reaching out to see if anyone has any wisdom to share.
thanks!

Truthfully, no, there is no way you can ask such a question of T-girls who you don't already intimately know without expecting to get displeased responses. Some T-girls may be fine with being asked such a question, whereas I suspect that many will not.

The only way to know beforehand is to get to know the girl well enough before you spring such a question. But then, if you already know her that well, then you probably already know what she likes in that regard.

Despite all the porn, most T-girls prefer to be bottoms. Just to give myself as an example, I personally have no interest in topping a butch male. When it comes to butch men, I'm only interested in being a bottom.

But some girls are into that. But outright asking some T-girl that before you really get to know her is likely to just come off as crass, to say the least.