Hypothetical Scenario: How long will you let someone pee on you for $300/day?

[Kevin Dong]

Hypothetical scenario:

An anonymous billionaire is privately funding this. You will never meet them. They are not filming or recording any aspect of this; they simply enjoy knowing they have this kind of power.

Each day you are woken up by a man peeing on you. This man has been hired by the billionaire to pee on you. They are regularly checked by doctors to make sure they are healthy and infection-free. Regardless, urine is sterile. Stinky, but harmless.

As soon as the pee hits your face (and oh yes, he'll aim for the face) you can jump out of bed and go to the shower. While you are showering the man who pees on you will switch your mattress, put on new sheets and leave $300 in cash on your dining room table.

The above situation will happen every single day for the rest of your life until one evening you decide you do not want to be peed on the next morning and cancel. Then it can never start again. Ever.

A few conditions:

-You may have as much or as little interaction with the man who pees as you want

-The man who pees will act as an alarm clock/wake-up call. You can tell him to begin peeing at 6:30am and that's exactly when he will start.

-If you share the bed with someone he will be aiming for you. Splashback onto the sleeping partner is a possibility.

-If you go on vacation he travels as well. He will typically stay in the hotel room next to yours.

Barring a once-in-a-lifetime emergency("My water broke!"), you must be peed on in the morning. This means if you wake up a few moments before your alarm was to go off you must lay there until the first drop of piss hits you. You can have a conversation with the man who pees if you like. Or simply maintain the world's most awkward eye-contact.

[michelle28bc1]

Lol I will let a girl pee on me but not guys, and how about evening instead of morning?
I hate to get wake up by someone.

[bigkid69]

How much would I owe the government and could I piss on the IRS agent who collected it??

[stan.smith]

the first morning piss is the most dirtiest with the strongest odor and color

[Kevin Dong]

Lol I will let a girl pee on me but not guys, and how about evening instead of morning?
I hate to get wake up by someone.

You cannot let a girl pee on you. It has to be the man that the rich anonymous billionaire picks out. Rules are rules.


How much would I owe the government and could I piss on the IRS agent who collected it??

300/day is 100k a year, so depends on whether you decide to declare this cash income or not. If you decide to go the honest route the math is not hard there.


the first morning piss is the most dirtiest with the strongest odor and color

Agreed. Again you would have to weigh the pros and cons of 100k a year for getting peed on.

[benfromchicago]

I'll let a t-girl piss on me all day tbh

[eccentricBlue]

is there any asparagus involved?

[SAAdmirer]

They are regularly checked by doctors to make sure they are healthy and infection-free. Regardless, urine is sterile. Stinky, but harmless.

This isn't entirely true, as there are certain viruses that are released in urine. Unless these hypothetical doctors know for which viruses to test, they won't detect them.

I don't mean to be an alarmist, as there aren't any viruses responisble for STDs that are transmitted through urine that I know of. That could only be a matter of time, because to think of any bodily fluid as being "harmless" is just not very wise.

[Kevin Dong]

Hypothetical photo of the man who will be peeing on you. Yes we all wish it was a hot tgirl/GG but the OP clearly states man. Asparagus...depends on the man's diet day to day. You can make a request if you end up befriending him, or you can spend a portion of the $300 to split with the man and pay him to eat asparagus for you under the table if it tickles your fancy.

[RallyCola]

so, the question is.....is it worth $109,500 a year to have to sleep on rubber sheets and dive into the tub immediately upon waking up every day.

i would have to say that if i was unemployed and without any direction in life, i would think about it for more time that i should. i would have to question whether the dude who is doing the peeing is making more or less than me and have to determine if $300 is a fair rate of pay. If, as an unemployed dude, i could not negotiate a better rate, i would likely turn it down.

but at this point, $110K, or for that matter even doubling my current salary is not enough money to get me motivated. plus, despite the rubber sheets, i might have to replace my pillows and mattress quite frequently so that cuts into my profit margin. then there is all the extra shampoo, soap visine and listerine i have to keep in constant supply. i would have to buy stock in walgreens to make up for all the expenses associated with this arrangement.

i think i will pass and let the donger have his fun as a urinal.

[fred41]

109,500 a year untaxed...(oh yeah...I'm not stupid enough to pay taxes on cash received for that)...I would certainly consider it, especially since it can be ended at any time.
...unfortunately in the real world there would probably be issues that wouldn't be solved to my satisfaction...such as personal security...I would never allow any stranger access to my living space.

[TSMichelleAustin]

I could do it! Been peed on many times before! LOL

[Kevin Dong]

so, the question is.....is it worth $109,500 a year to have to sleep on rubber sheets and dive into the tub immediately upon waking up every day.

i would have to say that if i was unemployed and without any direction in life, i would think about it for more time that i should. i would have to question whether the dude who is doing the peeing is making more or less than me and have to determine if $300 is a fair rate of pay. If, as an unemployed dude, i could not negotiate a better rate, i would likely turn it down.

but at this point, $110K, or for that matter even doubling my current salary is not enough money to get me motivated. plus, despite the rubber sheets, i might have to replace my pillows and mattress quite frequently so that cuts into my profit margin. then there is all the extra shampoo, soap visine and listerine i have to keep in constant supply. i would have to buy stock in walgreens to make up for all the expenses associated with this arrangement.

i think i will pass and let the donger have his fun as a urinal.

if you learned how to read Mr. RallyCola Hedge Fund CEO, you would see that the man changes your sheets and mattress while you shower, thereby eliminating the need for extraneous expenses on your part. By the way, I stole this from another forum I frequent, and wanted to see who here would consider being a human toilet. Glad you gave it some serious thought my friend.

Yours Truly