Goodbye

[BellaBellucci]

There didn't used to be. The porn industry was at the forefront of internet technology and especially online video technology in it's early days but it's been left behind by far more inventive technologies in social media/marketing. The next step for porn is going to be the interfacing of the online with the physical.

Oh, I dunno. Don't forget that the industry chose VHS over Beta, dooming us all to an inferior standard for a decade. :lol:

~BB~

[EvaCassini]

VHS was cheaper.

[BellaBellucci]

VHS was cheaper.

It's always quantity over quality, isn't it? :(

~BB~

[asianphoenixx]

That's good to hear, but I'm sure you understand that you're the exception, not the rule. Congrats. :)

~BB~

There is nothing special about me Bella. The only difference is: I've chosen the right choices in my life, not all the time, i do make mistakes from time to time, but at least i do my best to make everything work for the best.

Judging by the comments of some of you, my advice may not be well perceived.

Too bad indeed.

I'm not here to brag about my life, I'm here just to share with all of you the up and down of my life.

People perceive message and outer stimulis differently, Nysprod might see it as me bragging myself.

And that's his perception, and that's why he is here all the time, checking on the internet, with some occasional fun with tgirls on the street or from the club if he has $50 or $100 extra from government subsidy. I don't want my life to be like his. It's a total failure in my opinion

However, some people might see and read it differently. They might see it as a positive encouragement. They are positive and hopefully they will be successful

Our success and failure in life depends on how good (or bad) we choose options that are available. If we choose the best options, we will be the happiest. On the contrary, if we choose the bad ones, we will be here miserable.

There is a similarity between my life and Miranda's life, that's why i join and participate.

And now, it's all up to her.

I'm done now

cheers!

[BellaBellucci]

^ Yeah. I gotta agree with Nysprod on this one. Wow. Just wow. :rolleyes:

'Our success and failure in life depends on how good (or bad) we choose options that are available.'

Sure... so if you have to choose between a dirty douche and a turd sandwich, what then?

~BB~

[EvaCassini]

^ Yeah. I gotta agree with Nysprod on this one. Wow. Just wow. :rolleyes:

'Our success and failure in life depends on how good (or bad) we choose options that are available.'

Sure... so if you have to choose between a dirty douche and a turd sandwich, what then?

~BB~

Gimmie that Dirty Douche any day!!! :p

[asianphoenixx]

lol..funny. O well, i guess i have to be back to my penthouse alone again then as usual.

bye. It's my choice and that's your choice. that's why i'm here and you are there.

[BellaBellucci]

lol..funny. O well, i guess i have to be back to my penthouse alone again then as usual.

bye. It's my choice and that's your choice. that's why i'm here and you are there.

Huh? Back to your pretentious? When did you leave?

~BB~

[nysprod]

asian p is charging the bike as we speak gotta make those deliveries lmao

[broncofan]

Asianphoenix has one person giving her posts a thumbs up. I don't understand how. I have not seen her posts before but I don't understand how they are not badly received by everyone.

The boasting is unsolicited, gratuitous, and made without any intention of really being helpful.

If someone has money and class they don't talk about the former.

[GroobySteven]

If someone has money and class they don't talk about the former.

Well said.
You can paint shit - but it still stinks.

[tsmirandameadows]

Not to distract from the current conversation, but I just wanted to update you all and say that I'm feeling mildly better today. I remain deeply concerned about my long term life prospects given the challenges I have had with mental illness -- my recent emotional collapse is part of a lifelong pattern of negative mood cycling which has exercised debilitating pressure on my ability to build a life for myself -- and consequently still feel very pessimistic. That said, my moment to moment mood hasn't been nearly so negative, nor have I been feeling the physical effects of severe negative mood, i.e. diminished motor control and intoxicated-like affect. Furthermore, I had an endocrinology appointment this morning which forced me to get up, moving and out the door -- always a good thing. My endocrinologist, who has been aware of my struggles with mood and mental health, adjusted my hormones dosage today to promote more positive mood: I did not receive a progestin (a natural depressant) shot, but did get another round of estrogen (a natural anti-depressant) pellets, along with a single testosterone (also a natural anti-depressant) pellet, which will have no masculinizing effects but should act to improve mood, and should likewise help stimulate prostatic secretion, i.e. lead to the production of cum once more.

[broncofan]

Not to distract from the current conversation, but I just wanted to update you all and say that I'm feeling mildly better today. I remain deeply concerned about my long term life prospects given the challenges I have had with mental illness -- my recent emotional collapse is part of a lifelong pattern of negative mood cycling which has exercised debilitating pressure on my ability to build a life for myself -- and consequently still feel very pessimistic.
Thanks for the update! I can relate to the concern about relapsing from depression. It's quite another level of concern when you can become depressed about the prospect of becoming more depressed. When I went on antidepressants they made me able to function but I never did get full remission.

It's interesting you mention the testosterone. I was prescribed androgel as an adjunctive antidepressant treatment a few years ago. It worked okay but then I became paranoid that it was going to make me lose my hair so I stopped it. Anyhow, that side effect would probably take many months of elevate dht levels to bring about.

I'm glad you're starting to feel better.

[dderek123]

Get well Miranda!

[Ben]

Just wanted to point out: a great book I read about depression is called Prozac Nation by Liz Wurtzel.

[STARTUP999]

Miranda,
Thank you for sharing whats going on. Many of us are genuinely concerned. I really appreciate hearing from you.

You write very well, maybe WHEN you have conquered this there could be a book in it that might help others going though similar issues.

Anyway I am glad your doing better.

[robertlouis]

Not to distract from the current conversation, but I just wanted to update you all and say that I'm feeling mildly better today. I remain deeply concerned about my long term life prospects given the challenges I have had with mental illness -- my recent emotional collapse is part of a lifelong pattern of negative mood cycling which has exercised debilitating pressure on my ability to build a life for myself -- and consequently still feel very pessimistic. That said, my moment to moment mood hasn't been nearly so negative, nor have I been feeling the physical effects of severe negative mood, i.e. diminished motor control and intoxicated-like affect. Furthermore, I had an endocrinology appointment this morning which forced me to get up, moving and out the door -- always a good thing. My endocrinologist, who has been aware of my struggles with mood and mental health, adjusted my hormones dosage today to promote more positive mood: I did not receive a progestin (a natural depressant) shot, but did get another round of estrogen (a natural anti-depressant) pellets, along with a single testosterone (also a natural anti-depressant) pellet, which will have no masculinizing effects but should act to improve mood, and should likewise help stimulate prostatic secretion, i.e. lead to the production of cum once more.

Good-ish news. I'm glad.

[Michelle.]

Miranda, take care of yourself. You're worth it and PLEASE interrupt YOUR thread when others begin to turn it into a soap opera.

[the_corner]

Not to distract from the current conversation, but I just wanted to update you all and say that I'm feeling mildly better today. I remain deeply concerned about my long term life prospects given the challenges I have had with mental illness -- my recent emotional collapse is part of a lifelong pattern of negative mood cycling which has exercised debilitating pressure on my ability to build a life for myself -- and consequently still feel very pessimistic. That said, my moment to moment mood hasn't been nearly so negative, nor have I been feeling the physical effects of severe negative mood, i.e. diminished motor control and intoxicated-like affect. Furthermore, I had an endocrinology appointment this morning which forced me to get up, moving and out the door -- always a good thing. My endocrinologist, who has been aware of my struggles with mood and mental health, adjusted my hormones dosage today to promote more positive mood: I did not receive a progestin (a natural depressant) shot, but did get another round of estrogen (a natural anti-depressant) pellets, along with a single testosterone (also a natural anti-depressant) pellet, which will have no masculinizing effects but should act to improve mood, and should likewise help stimulate prostatic secretion, i.e. lead to the production of cum once more.

I'm fairly impressed on how articulate you are. Few people show your level of language proficiency, here or anywhere else.

I hope you can get your life back in good order.

[Rivz]

Good news keep on chugging. The Japanese have a saying.."Fall down 7 times...get up 8"

[naresuan]

Glad to hear this positive news from Miranda herself

[asianphoenixx]

Every post asian p makes is put there for one reason only...to talk up asian p either as an escort or a person...utterrly self-serving...sickening.

you wrote something different on your PM:


I'm really sorry I said something negative about you...actually I admire you very much...good luck in the future wherever life may take you.


disgusting:(

[asianphoenixx]

Huh? Back to your pretentious? When did you leave?

~BB~

Glad you are better Miranda. I literally posted two examples of negative perceptions and comments so you can see as an example

Some people make their own life miserable by what they think, perceive and do.

I came here with a good intention and they tore down everything.

And what do they get?
They most probably still they were yesterday: sitting on the internet and waiting for somebody to chat with them for $20 for 15 minutes?

Make sure you don;t want to be like them

all the best. I'm going to the gym now

[nysprod]

you wrote something different on your PM:(

You are correct, I did. So I'll re-phrase:

If you look back at the beginning of this thread, you'll see that I was the first one to realize that Miranda's op was an indication she was having a difficult time.

See what I just did there? One will generally not tend to win friends and influence people when they say things that. Actually, a lot of people will start to dislike people who say things like that.

All due respect, let me offer this as advice to you.

Now I will offer some advice to myself: I am better off shutting the fuck up sometimes lol

Peace and love.

[BellaBellucci]

Glad you are better Miranda. I literally posted two examples of negative perceptions and comments so you can see as an example

Some people make their own life miserable by what they think, perceive and do.

I came here with a good intention and they tore down everything.

And what do they get?
They most probably still they were yesterday: sitting on the internet and waiting for somebody to chat with them for $20 for 15 minutes?

Make sure you don;t want to be like them

all the best. I'm going to the gym now

I'm certainly relieved that you probably can't reproduce.

~BB~

[Prospero]

This started as a thread from a young woman in deep trouble. It has descended into a festival of snidery. Can all the people bad mouthing each other here just stop - or do it in a thread dedicated to that.

Miranda seems to be in a slightly better place now - thank God. I hope she can sustain and strengthen. It won't be helped by all the nasty back biting here.

[BellaBellucci]

This started as a thread from a young woman in deep trouble. It has descended into a festival of snidery. Can all the people bad mouthing each other here just stop - or do it in a thread dedicated to that.

Miranda seems to be in a slightly better place now - thank God. I hope she can sustain and strengthen. It won't be helped by all the nasty back biting here.

C'mon. This thread really isn't about her anymore. She's returned to us safely and is the mistress of her destiny. She's trying to move on, and so should we.

Besides, mocking the self-centered is a public service, IMO.

~BB~

PS: Hey, who's that in your avatar?

[Prospero]

I have no idea who the avatar is I'm afraid. Just a pretty pic i found

[Odelay]

Glad you are better Miranda. I literally posted two examples of negative perceptions and comments so you can see as an example

Some people make their own life miserable by what they think, perceive and do.

I came here with a good intention and they tore down everything.

And what do they get?
They most probably still they were yesterday: sitting on the internet and waiting for somebody to chat with them for $20 for 15 minutes?

Make sure you don;t want to be like them

all the best. I'm going to the gym now


I'm certainly relieved that you probably can't reproduce.

~BB~

Now that Bella has ruled that the original topic doesn't matter anymore, I just want to say this is a very offensive remark made by Queen Bella, especially considering she's a parent herself. But then again, being a judgmental ass is not new territory here for her.

[Tina Francis]

Now that Bella has ruled that the original topic doesn't matter anymore, I just want to say this is a very offensive remark made by Queen Bella, especially considering she's a parent herself. But then again, being a judgmental ass is not new territory here for her.


:hide-1::hide-1::hide-1::hide-1::hide-1:

[Common]

Now that Bella has ruled that the original topic doesn't matter anymore, I just want to say this is a very offensive remark made by Queen Bella, especially considering she's a parent herself. But then again, being a judgmental ass is not new territory here for her.

LMAO! Queen Bella. Funny shit.

[nysprod]

Yeah, it was mean.

[asianphoenixx]

Yeah, it was mean.

well at least, she's real.

[asianphoenixx]

Now that Bella has ruled that the original topic doesn't matter anymore, I just want to say this is a very offensive remark made by Queen Bella, especially considering she's a parent herself. But then again, being a judgmental ass is not new territory here for her.

No worries, i'm strong.
I prefer not to fight back. We have enough problems in our real life, no need of more drama.

Let Bella sit on her computer waiting for $20, and some of us start making our millions lol


go to bed now, i've just had great sex with sexy stud.

I'm happy.


good night

[zerrrr]

Not to distract from the current conversation, but I just wanted to update you all and say that I'm feeling mildly better today. I remain deeply concerned about my long term life prospects given the challenges I have had with mental illness -- my recent emotional collapse is part of a lifelong pattern of negative mood cycling which has exercised debilitating pressure on my ability to build a life for myself -- and consequently still feel very pessimistic. That said, my moment to moment mood hasn't been nearly so negative, nor have I been feeling the physical effects of severe negative mood, i.e. diminished motor control and intoxicated-like affect. Furthermore, I had an endocrinology appointment this morning which forced me to get up, moving and out the door -- always a good thing. My endocrinologist, who has been aware of my struggles with mood and mental health, adjusted my hormones dosage today to promote more positive mood: I did not receive a progestin (a natural depressant) shot, but did get another round of estrogen (a natural anti-depressant) pellets, along with a single testosterone (also a natural anti-depressant) pellet, which will have no masculinizing effects but should act to improve mood, and should likewise help stimulate prostatic secretion, i.e. lead to the production of cum once more.


Just a thought about environment, try to keep a clean place and some fresh cut flowers. Little things like lavender and rose scents can help lift your spirits when you feel depressed or anxious.

Make it a point to get out every day for a walk and enjoy the weather, rain or sun. Jump in a puddle on the sidewalk like a kid and laugh.

Sometimes it is the little things that can make all the difference.

Watch what you eat as well. The chemicals in foods can have different effects so try to keep a healthy diet as well.

[BellaBellucci]

Let Bella sit on her computer waiting for $20, and some of us start making our millions lol

This is pretty much what she said to provoke my comment in the first place, but nobody seems to care about that, huh? Fucking internet white knights. :lol:

~BB~

[nysprod]

This is pretty much what she said to provoke my comment in the first place, but nobody seems to care about that, huh? Fucking internet white knights. :lol:

~BB~

It's not white knighting...you sisters have to learn to support each other even with the flaws...we all have them anyway so get over it.

[BellaBellucci]

It's not white knighting...you sisters have to learn to support each other even with the flaws...we all have them anyway so get over it.

We don't have to do shit. And nobody's my sister unless I say they are. I support who I want to support, and I'll be damned before I'll let you dictate who my friends should be.

So yes. When you first agree with me and then magically change your mind about it while a bunch of noobs downrate my posts after others show support, it's most absolutely, positively:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lFqt7QzMIG4/T0heUS8pEgI/AAAAAAAAALI/fJmBycy6P-k/s1600/internet_white_knight_colored_4350.jpg

Have a great weekend. :lol:

~BB~

[nysprod]

We don't have to do shit. And nobody's my sister unless I say they are. I support who I want to support, and I'll be damned before I'll let you dictate who my friends should be.

So yes. When you first agree with me and then magically change your mind about it while a bunch of noobs downrate my posts after others show support, it's most absolutely, positively:

Have a great weekend. :lol:

~BB~

I changed my mind because Tia's story was one I've heard numerous times before...about being thrown out at a young age by your family, being alone, on the street, not knowing what to do...and then I was disappointed in myself for saying something negative to her when she had said nothing to me...I felt bad about it really.

And thanks, I am...have a great weekend yourself.

[EvaCassini]

Most of us girls have had shitty pasts...

[nysprod]

Most of us girls have had shitty pasts...

I'm sure...I also know 2 girls who have had strong family support...not that I want to generalize but they seem to be more social, which is understandable...even Foxxy, if you look at her IG she's always posting pics hanging with the fam and lots of friends.

[BellaBellucci]

I changed my mind because Tia's story was one I've heard numerous times before...about being thrown out at a young age by your family, being alone, on the street, not knowing what to do...and then I was disappointed in myself for saying something negative to her when she had said nothing to me...I felt bad about it really.

I appreciate that sentiment, but I could tell you stories about my childhood that could make your hair turn white, too. How does that change anything in this thread? :lol:

~BB~

[dderek123]

Very entertaining thread so far 9/10

[asianphoenixx]

Very entertaining thread so far 9/10

Morning!
I have to agree, it is indeed very interesting.

I don't take anything personally easily, including Bella's comments, unless the attack is malicious.

If she is happy to mock me, i'm happy to mock her back too, that's all.

From various comments, we actually can learn about our lives here in this thread.

For those, who believe in good faith, no matter how hard our life is, we have to believe that we can be successful.
I have already mentioned it before, the key is determination and courage.

I've had hard time in my life. You name it: being raped, being in jail, being abandoned, dumped, hit by a car....

But I'm still here: sexy, positive, horny, and optimistic lol:dancing:

let's close this bad mouthing episode.
Instead, let's continue our hope for the better future.

Never give up!!

Brrr...It's cold in Portland....time to have my warm breakfast:)

[nysprod]

I appreciate that sentiment, but I could tell you stories about my childhood that could make your hair turn white, too. How does that change anything in this thread? :lol:

~BB~

Idk about changing anything in this thread...I know how I want to change certain aspects about the way I conduct myself, that's about it.

[Ananke]

As I said before, clinical depression has nothing to do with the actual situation you are in, how well off you are, your prospects, your courage or determination. It's a mental problem that needs to be sorted professionally first... So this thread is now just an occasion for bickering (to put it mildly) and is going nowhere!
How entertaining it may be, the background is still someone's misfortune....

[bigkid69]

I'll be damned before I'll let you dictate who my friends should be.


Ok, ok, I'll be your friend Bella. :)

[asianphoenixx]

443070]
How entertaining it may be, the background is still someone's misfortune....[/QUOTE]

It is not her misfortune, it is her challenge.

When i got hit by a car last year, the doctor told me that i might be limping.

I don't want to be limping, so i tried super hard not to.

Depression is curable, she is blessed being in USA. What Miranda needs is determination and courage, and we are here to support her

[nysprod]

Depression is curable, she is blessed being in USA. What Miranda needs is determination and courage, and we are here to support her

Actually, you are mistaken there...unfortunately, depression and associated disorders (bi polar, mood disorders, anxiety, etc.) are not really curable allthough in many cases they can be managed with meds and therapy to various degrees of success.

But it's a battle though.

[asianphoenixx]

Actually, you are mistaken there...unfortunately, depression and associated disorders (bi polar, mood disorders, anxiety, etc.) are not really curable allthough in many cases they can be managed with meds and theratypepy to various degrees of success.

But it's a battle though.

Technically is not the same, but i see it as the same thing.

As tgirls, we have to take hormones for the entire of our life. Not a big deal.

Similar case Here. It is not a battle, it's a challenge

[tsmirandameadows]

Actually, you are mistaken there...unfortunately, depression and associated disorders (bi polar, mood disorders, anxiety, etc.) are not really curable allthough in many cases they can be managed with meds and therapy to various degrees of success.

But it's a battle though.

Indeed. That is a big reason why I have felt as frustrated and as hopeless as I have of late. To have my mood crash YET AGAIN and have much of my progress wiped out YET ANOTHER TIME is deeply discouraging. Certainly over the past week, my distressed state has led to me burning a bridge or two, and losing at least one important friendship. Not to mention it was my collapsing mood which led me to turn around from LA, wasting seed money which I didn't have to waste. How many more times am I going to start making progress only to have it fall apart when my mood no longer holds?

Like you say there is no cure for this. In fact, psychiatry is still so limited that these "disorders" are really just labels for clusters of symptoms, as opposed to a disease with an identifiable and testable aetiology which can be addressed through medicine. Since these disorders are just symptom clusters, diagnosis boils down to an educated guess based upon what a patient reports, and then treatment consists of trying different medications which, for not fully understood reasons, help some people, to some degree, with some of the symptoms which the patient is reporting. In effect, it's like getting a pain killer for a dislocated shoulder: the pain is reduced to manageable levels, but until the shoulder is put back in the socket, the pain isn't going to go away. Mood disorders are the sameway except no one knows how to put the metaphorical joint back in the socket: all that can be done is to prescribe meds which sometimes make things more manageable.

That's discouraging especially in light of the 2 steps forward, 3 steps back pattern which has characterized my life.

[Rusty Eldora]

That's discouraging especially in light of the 2 steps forward, 3 steps back pattern which has characterized my life.

Miranda - yes you have been battling thru a number of peaks and valleys. It could be that you are making progress - like 3 forward, 2 back. I think you are making progress but I understand your frustration. Good luck and be brave.

[asianphoenixx]

I'm not an expert with regards to this Miranda.

But, don't be discouraged easily.

The doctor told me, i had 60 per cent chance of becoming limping. I said no, i won't be.

Courage and determination are extremely important

[nysprod]

I'm not an expert with regards to this Miranda.

But, don't be discouraged easily.

The doctor told me, i had 60 per cent chance of becoming limping. I said no, i won't be.

Courage and determination are extremely important

That I will definitely agree with...the mind is a powerful thing...the placebo effect is testament to that.

[christianxxx]

so just to be clear since i am on vacation and missed the last 13 pages...

Miranda is alive and posting (i knew that bc i was texting her lol)
Kelly Shore is full of shit (we all knew that)
Asian Phoenix is apparently a millionaire hooker in toronto (well alrighty then)

did I miss anything?

[broncofan]

For those interested in the power of the mind, one therapy for depression is cognitive therapy, pioneered by Aaron Beck. I read his book the cognitive therapy of depression and it is very informative. However, when I tried to put it into practice I found it was like pushing a boulder up a hill.

I understand that depression is characterized by persistent negative bias in the way we process information. But I am not sure that's the cause (a symptom to be sure), and cognitive re-framing did not provide a cure for me.

Anyhow, it's important to find a good mental health practitioner. Bipolar II is very difficult to treat but that just means it's all the more important to find someone you trust. There are a lot of medicines, if you are interested, that are used to treat the type of intractable depression someone in the depressed phase of bipolar disorder faces.

Whereas in bipolar I, the use of anti-depressants is controversial because it's not known whether it increases cycling, I do think doctors use them more liberally in bipolar II. There are also mood stabilizers with anti-depressant properties.

Anyhow, I know Miranda did not ask for recommendations on medicine. But I did want to re-assert something about depression: determination has nothing to do with it. When you are depressed you have absolutely no inertia. Getting out of bed is difficult, your interest in people is nil, your hope for the future (whether it's reality based or not) is not there. There are little routines that can help functioning in my experience but nothing that makes these feelings disappear altogether.

[mistab]

I have to say that I was very distressed when reading the first posts of this thread. Having read Miranda's past posts in other threads, I have always thought of her as being very intelligent and insightful, as well as pleasing to the eye. I was very glad to see her posting again. Very good insight into the presentation of depression and associative disorders with analogy to the physical (dislocated shoulder). I believe that broncofan had some excellent advice...find a good mental health practitioner-someone you can trust. Also, Miranda, find an outlet- a friend, support group, post on HA- there are many here who I believe were genuinely concerned, even though a few seemed to post self-serving drivel. Please be well!

[asianphoenixx]

For those interested in the power of the mind, one therapy for depression is cognitive therapy, pioneered by Aaron Beck. I read his book the cognitive therapy of depression and it is very informative. However, when I tried to put it into practice I found it was like pushing a boulder up a hill.

I understand that depression is characterized by persistent negative bias in the way we process information. But I am not sure that's the cause (a symptom to be sure), and cognitive re-framing did not provide a cure for me.

Anyhow, it's important to find a good mental health practitioner. Bipolar II is very difficult to treat but that just means it's all the more important to find someone you trust. There are a lot of medicines, if you are interested, that are used to treat the type of intractable depression someone in the depressed phase of bipolar disorder faces.

Whereas in bipolar I, the use of anti-depressants is controversial because it's not known whether it increases cycling, I do think doctors use them more liberally in bipolar II. There are also mood stabilizers with anti-depressant properties.

Anyhow, I know Miranda did not ask for recommendations on medicine. But I did want to re-assert something about depression: determination has nothing to do with it. When you are depressed you have absolutely no inertia. Getting out of bed is difficult, your interest in people is nil, your hope for the future (whether it's reality based or not) is not there. There are little routines that can help functioning in my experience but nothing that makes these feelings disappear altogether.

knowledgeable, though it's a little skeptical at the end.

there are 3 points you mentioned that are actually very important:
1.Power of mind
2.Finding a good mental health practitioner
3.Recommendation of medicine.

I personally emphasize point 1, as the most important thing, the rest will follow

[Ananke]

Technically is not the same, but i see it as the same thing.

Well it's not!
Do not compare what is not comparable...

[BellaBellucci]

I don't take anything personally easily, including Bella's comments, unless the attack is malicious.

Good. Because I wasn't being malicious. I see a real problem with many trans people where they feel entitled to flaunt their 'self-esteem.' The problem with that is: if you have to flaunt it, you're usually overcompensating and not trying to convince just others of it, but also yourself. Therefore, you probably don't have a full grasp on it yet. True self-confidence is quiet, as in 'walk softly, but carry a big stick.'

So relax! If you're truly happy with yourself, then the only one who should have to know that is you. :)

I totally understand that I can be hard on people, but its usually because 'nice' doesn't get my messages across, so please, don't ignore them.


Idk about changing anything in this thread...I know how I want to change certain aspects about the way I conduct myself, that's about it.

Fair enough. I did mention that the men around here should be more understanding. As I said, I appreciate your sentiment; it's just that on the same token, most of the girls here have been through hell, so choosing one over another under these circumstances is counterproductive.


Ok, ok, I'll be your friend Bella. :)

More friends! YAYZ! Friend request accepted. :D

~BB~

[BellaBellucci]

Miranda - yes you have been battling thru a number of peaks and valleys. It could be that you are making progress - like 3 forward, 2 back. I think you are making progress but I understand your frustration. Good luck and be brave.

I think your math skills are a little 'Rusty.' :P

2 - 3 = -1

And Miranda, I hope you find consistent progress. You have everything necessary. Sometimes it just comes down to luck, and that's a matter of timing. It's no reflection on your value as a person. Just please keep that in mind and it might make the valleys a little easier to traverse.

~BB~

[BellaBellucci]

Oh, and one more thing about CBT and mood elevators: they only work if you are interested in achieving a certain level of cognitive dissonance. I'm sorry, but in might opinion, the latter takes your shit sandwich and tries to make you happy with eating the portions of the bread that have not had contact with the shit, and the former changes your mood whether you want it to or not, leading to denial. That said, I've always preferred a temporary escape and attitude reset to living in constant delusion which can be taken advantage of by others.

Take enough Prozac and people can dump all over you and you won't feel a thing... but that doesn't protect you; it simply makes it more difficult to get upset, and to take appropriate action, providing countless opportunities for others use you, and leading to a situation in which a person can never go two steps forward, and then another two steps forward.

'Go ahead and take from (so-and-so). They don't seem to mind.'

~BB~

[broncofan]

I understand what you're saying. Although the most popular form of therapy for mood disorders has been cognitive-behavioral therapy, I was only ever interested in the cognitive dimension.

The concept behind cognitive therapy is to take unrealistically negative schemas that the depressed person believes are objectively based, and re-frame them by trying to understand how they deviate from reality. It involves engaging in a constant dialogue wherein the person asks themselves whether what they are saying to themselves is necessarily true or a belief filtered through the prism of their depression.

And some people taking SSRIs do experience something akin to emotional blunting, but not everybody. If the result of taking the medicine is emotional blunting, it is important to discuss that with a doctor, because that can be a side-effect. But often the long-term effect of being treated for depression is not that you are able to simply tolerate abuse and not see it as such, but that you can continue to function even when you are facing adverse circumstances.

[asianphoenixx]

Good. Because I wasn't being malicious. I see a real problem with many trans people where they feel entitled to flaunt their 'self-esteem.' The problem with that is: if you have to flaunt it, you're usually overcompensating and not trying to convince just others of it, but also yourself. Therefore, you probably don't have a full grasp on it yet. True self-confidence is quiet, as in 'walk softly, but carry a big stick.'

So relax! If you're truly happy with yourself, then the only one who should have to know that is you. :)

I totally understand that I can be hard on people, but its usually because 'nice' doesn't get my messages across, so please, don't ignore them.



Fair enough. I did mention that the men around here should be more understanding. As I said, I appreciate your sentiment; it's just that on the same token, most of the girls here have been through hell, so choosing one over another under these circumstances is counterproductive.



More friends! YAYZ! Friend request accepted. :D

~BB~

great!

I've been waiting for your answer Bella, and i'm glad all of us have come to a good term now.

It's partly my fault. I didn't understand Miranda's problem precisely at the beginning. I thought she had a nervous breakdown, but later i realized it's much more serious than that.

Misunderstanding happens sometimes.

Remember, i'm coming from a completely different background, carrying different value and norms than most of you guys here.

The way I encourage people might be perceived as bragging. Trust me, i don't intend to brag.

We are ALL here to support Miranda. Full stop

Unfortunately, i don't have any knowledge with regards to this subject, except my mental support.

I guess. we have to encourage Boncofan to speak and explain more about it

[asianphoenixx]

I understand what you're saying. Although the most popular form of therapy for mood disorders has been cognitive-behavioral therapy, I was only ever interested in the cognitive dimension.

The concept behind cognitive therapy is to take unrealistically negative schemas that the depressed person believes are objectively based, and re-frame them by trying to understand how they deviate from reality. It involves engaging in a constant dialogue wherein the person asks themselves whether what they are saying to themselves is necessarily true or a belief filtered through the prism of their depression.

And some people taking SSRIs do experience something akin to emotional blunting, but not everybody. If the result of taking the medicine is emotional blunting, it is important to discuss that with a doctor, because that can be a side-effect. But often the long-term effect of being treated for depression is not that you are able to simply tolerate abuse and not see it as such, but that you can continue to function even when you are facing adverse circumstances.


Thanks for the info.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't understand completely what you try to explain.

But my full understanding is not really important.

I personally think, we have to encourage Miranda sharing her progress daily, then some people, like yourself, can give her, hopefully a better advice?

[broncofan]

I guess. we have to encourage Boncofan to speak and explain more about it
Thanks Asianphoenixx. I read my last post and I want to be careful to state that I am talking only about things that CAN be helpful for depression and that have been helpful for me.

I don't want anyone to think I am saying ssris (or other psychiatric medicines) will always work or are always warranted. I am saying that they can be very helpful for people and it's important for anyone struggling with a mood disorder to find a good doctor to let them know if their use is warranted.

Medicines almost always have side effects. As Bella said, you may find that you don't like some of their effects and so you have to discuss with a doctor whether they are helpful on balance. I have taken medicines before and ended up having the following conversation with my doctor where I said, "yes this medicine is helping my depression but I feel it is causing cognitive slowing. I simply will not take it." And the result was that we ended up trying something different.

I am only trying to say that with a competent, trustworthy, and helpful medical professional you can find treatments that will improve quality of life whether that involves various forms of therapy or medicine.

[asianphoenixx]

Thanks Asianphoenixx. I read my last post and I want to be careful to state that I am talking only about things that CAN be helpful for depression and that have been helpful for me.

I don't want anyone to think I am saying ssris (or other psychiatric medicines) will always work or are always warranted. I am saying that they can be very helpful for people and it's important for anyone struggling with a mood disorder to find a good doctor to let them know if their use is warranted.

Medicines almost always have side effects. As Bella said, you may find that you don't like some of their effects and so you have to discuss with a doctor whether they are helpful on balance. I have taken medicines before and ended up having the following conversation with my doctor where I said, "yes this medicine is helping my depression but I feel it is causing cognitive slowing. I simply will not take it." And the result was that we ended up trying something different.

I am only trying to say that with a competent, trustworthy, and helpful medical professional you can find treatments that will improve quality of life whether that involves various forms of therapy or medicine.

great point.
Since i know nothing about this issue, i just have to highlight your point, so our discussion will be more focused, geared to solving the problem.

Now, we are waiting for Miranda response

c'mon girl...speak to us:)

[Odelay]

Now that things have calmed down a little, there are a couple of things that I would like to add. First, broncofan, I like what you've posted about depression, but a quick correction about this phrase...


When you are depressed you have absolutely no inertia.

BF, you have the definition of inertia reversed. When you are depressed you have all inertia. The physics definition is: a property of matter by which it continues in its existing state of rest unless that state is changed by an external force.

Please don't take this as criticism because it's an easy one to get reversed. I do it all the time with some words. Like I never remember if "non-plused" is a state of calm or a state of frustration.

And actually the term inertia is what I wanted to comment on. Inertia was the killer for me during a couple of long episodic bouts of depression. After the first bout, I got diagnosed, did the SSRI drug thing, did the cognitive therapy thing, but ultimately the only thing that got me out of it was to just keep moving, literally. Went through a series of shitty temp jobs but it was good because it forced me out of the house. Just navigating the local bus system to get to the jobs was a nightmare, when I was in that state.

The one thing I can say I got out of cognitive therapy is that after all the tedious analysis of my negative thoughts, etc., I finally made it very simple for myself. If I'm active, I'm okay. If I'm experiencing a thought that pushes me to a state of inactivity, then that's not okay. Was a gamer before depression, haven't gamed since. Never cooked a meal before depression, now I cook about twice a week. Wasn't a huge people person before depression, now I throw myself into new situations and am not shy about meeting new people. Well, you get the picture.

I had a second pretty severe episode about 7 years ago, but I ultimately had the self-knowledge to climb out of it.

My conclusion about depression is that despite common symptoms across many people who suffer from it, it remains a stubbornly unique malady from person to person. What the science world knows about brain chemistry is still orders of magnitude smaller than what they don't know about it.

[broncofan]

Thanks for that Odelay. I was using it to mean the opposite of what it means as you say. I have taken some form of anti-depressant for twenty years with a five year break in my mid-20's. The five year break was the slowest, most inert (there we go) period of my life. I still don't like going to large functions, but I will go to them if I think I should. I force myself awake in the morning for work and often put things off that require a lot of effort (cooking, cleaning, or uncomfortable phone calls).

I found the medicine made it so I was able to push myself to do some uncomfortable things.

I have also found a lot of the things you mentioned helpful, but I had to get to a certain state of being before I could do some of those things, like pushing myself to do things when I don't want to. When I was suffering the worst, I would force myself to do something and then find myself exhausted halfway through the day and wishing I could get home as quickly as possible.

As you say depression is very unique in how it manifests. Many doctors do not know the difference between atypical and melancholic depression, which can make a crucial difference in how they treat it. As Miranda was saying, doctors are often dealing with clusters of symptoms and they have to help a person figure out how best to cope with them.

[asianphoenixx]

i'm learning...

"I finally made it very simple for myself. If I'm active, I'm okay. If I'm experiencing a thought that pushes me to a state of inactivity, then that's not okay." Odelay

"I have also found a lot of the things you mentioned helpful, but I had to get to a certain state of being before I could do some of those things, like pushing myself to do things when I don't want to" Broncofan

Broncofan's conclusion: depression is very unique in how it manifests. Many doctors do not know the difference between atypical and melancholic depression, which can make a crucial difference in how they treat it. As Miranda was saying, doctors are often dealing with clusters of symptoms and they have to help a person figure out how best to cope with them.

My interpretation: Realizing that depression is unique in how it manifests, Miranda with the help from a (good) doctor, has to figure it out how and what is the best way to cope with it.

For Odelay: to stay active definitely helps. Agreed by Broncofan.
Conclusion: doing something that we like definitely helps :dancing:

[nysprod]

Another complication is that hrt itself can lead to serious mood swings, especially when people start and stop at random intervals or self-medicate, so just imagine what can happen to someone on hrt who is already somewhere in the depression/anxiety etc. spectrum.

Couple this with the fact that there has been no clinical research done in this area (large double-blind studies), which means that doctors who work with these patients are, at best, making judgement calls...yes, there are some physicians who are more experienced but all this really amounts to is anecdotal information, which means that no one understands the potential risks of mixing androgens with say, prozac or lexapro.

[wearboots4me]

Miranda, I don't know you. But you seem nice. So I wish you well with whatever you do. Don't give up hope, you're not alone, a lot of people struggle with issues like depression.

[asianphoenixx]

this is Miranda News of the day:
http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=84155

I promise I will not take anything seriously next time:(

[nysprod]

this is Miranda News of the day:
http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=84155

I promise I will not take anything seriously next time:(


I guess this went over my head, but what's your point?

[tsmirandameadows]

I guess this went over my head, but what's your point?

I think the implication is that any attempt on my part to be positive and flirty and fun is evidence that my mental health struggles are not particularly serious.

[broncofan]

If that's what she meant, that's downright malicious.

[tsmirandameadows]

If that's what she meant, that's downright malicious.

I could be reading it entirely wrong but that was my take away.

[broncofan]

I could be reading it entirely wrong but that was my take away.
That was my take when I read it. Then I thought maybe there was something cryptic that I wasn't getting.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. As I'm sure you know, the fact that you are smiling now has no bearing on what you've been through or whether you're depressed.

Like everybody else I'm happy to see you smiling after a tumultuous last week. :)

[runningdownthatdream]

this is Miranda News of the day:
http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=84155

I promise I will not take anything seriously next time:(

You cannot possibly be so obtuse as to miss the point of Miranda's other post - can you?

[Ananke]

Miranda, please don't pay attention to people who have no understanding of anything.
Nice to see that smile back anyway.

[asianphoenixx]

I think the implication is that any attempt on my part to be positive and flirty and fun is evidence that my mental health struggles are not particularly serious.

it's actually partly right.

Some of us, including me, think that you are still in the bed, struggling to be alive.

glad you are already flirty and fun.


Now, finally, i'm done.

Gosh...of course, i'm relieved, i thought you were dying.

[asianphoenixx]

Miranda, please don't pay attention to people who have no understanding of anything.
Nice to see that smile back anyway.


You are partly right too.

I told you, i know nothing about this issue.

[asianphoenixx]

You guys should go to third world country, and see how these people struggle everyday, but nonetheless still can make it through their lives.

why and how?

determination and courage.

[Ananke]

You are partly right too ;)
I have been to third world countries and certainly have no less sympathy for those struggling over there than I have for Miranda.
All I am saying is that determination and courage alone will not resolve a severe mental illness such as severe clinical depression. IMHO.

[asianphoenixx]

You are partly right too ;)
I have been to third world countries and certainly have no less sympathy for those struggling over there than I have for Miranda.
All I am saying is that determination and courage alone will not resolve a severe mental illness such as severe clinical depression. IMHO.


with determination and courage (power of mind), as we already discussed, we will be able to do the next right steps, taking some actions that are necessary. e.g: medications, exercises, counseling etc.

Anyway, i'm glad she is ok.

I was worried about her safety and life before, and now we know that she is ok.

cheers

[cr1984]

Since I know nothing about what happened other than reading this thread, I can only speak from experience in my profession. But perhaps this was a severe case of burnout? I remember feeling similar to Miranda's initial post during the aftermath of a rather bitter point in my life (where something beyond my control went very wrong, and I didn't do a good job doing damage control).

[breakingbad14]

I've been through servere depression, it's the hardest thing to motivate yourself to get help when you have no faith in anything, or anyone, especially yourself and treatment personnel, who often fall short of their purpose, after all they are just people, plus the mind is still a relative mystery as it's so complex.

One doctor even asked me if I injected cannabis/marijuana when I told him I smoke it. (I've stopped now, and feel better for stopping,that really wasn't helping my anxiety.) This was a doctor, he didn't know the first thing about anything by the sound of it, why would I think he can help me? Luckily I switched doctors and my current one is brilliant.

Your mind only shows you the negatives of life when you're depressed, and living in that 24 7 is torture. I got out of my servere depression with the help of my new doctor and antidepressants, I still have a cynical outlook on life, which I don't think is misplaced, but I don't dwell on that now, and just do what I can to look at the beauty in life, I avoid negative people and try and be positive about my life. Music helps me a great deal too, and good friends.

Plus in 60 years I should be dead so I might as well smell the flowers before then :)

Best of luck Miranda! xx I hope you find your way to feeling as good on the inside as you look on the outside!

[sosed]

It's nice to see Miranda again with a smile. :-D

I have to say, that Miranda did one important right move, that she wrote this letter to express her depression and need of help. Of course it still depend on those who read it, that they understand it correctly and do proper moves. Specially for those, who know person and live near, to visit and give needed support and help.

It's true, that experiences always come after you need them, but this case could give a lot of experiences for those who want to learn. This time was Miranda, next time could be anybody. We have to respect each other, specially, when we disagree.

[asianphoenixx]

I've been through servere depression, it's the hardest thing to motivate yourself to get help when you have no faith in anything, or anyone, especially yourself and treatment personnel, who often fall short of their purpose, after all they are just people, plus the mind is still a relative mystery as it's so complex.

One doctor even asked me if I injected cannabis/marijuana when I told him I smoke it. (I've stopped now, and feel better for stopping,that really wasn't helping my anxiety.) This was a doctor, he didn't know the first thing about anything by the sound of it, why would I think he can help me? Luckily I switched doctors and my current one is brilliant.

Your mind only shows you the negatives of life when you're depressed, and living in that 24 7 is torture. I got out of my servere depression with the help of my new doctor and antidepressants, I still have a cynical outlook on life, which I don't think is misplaced, but I don't dwell on that now, and just do what I can to look at the beauty in life, I avoid negative people and try and be positive about my life. Music helps me a great deal too, and good friends.

Plus in 60 years I should be dead so I might as well smell the flowers before then :)

Best of luck Miranda! xx I hope you find your way to feeling as good on the inside as you look on the outside!

very honest, thanks for sharing :)
I black highlighted your challenge. You understand your challenge of having chronic depression and do your best to conquer it. Bravo!

I red highlighted your sentence about avoiding negative people and listening to music. Yes, that's exactly what I do too.

Doing something good is great for our mind.

Life is not easy. It's unfair...but hey..at least is interesting.
Let's move on. We only live once anyway. Live and let live :)

cheers

[asianphoenixx]

I could be reading it entirely wrong but that was my take away.

good sign. You realized that you might be wrong.

I blamed myself. I was worried about you, a little too much for no reason.

So when i saw your pics...i said: gosh...silly me, i thought you even had a hard time to get out of bed. And look at you now.

As I already mentioned, misunderstanding happens from time to time.

It's ok and normal.

cheers

[BeardedOne]

Tia may have been misunderstood in her post, but if you are depressed or need moral support, she is a good friend to have. I speak from personal experience.

[breakingbad14]

very honest, thanks for sharing :)
I black highlighted your challenge. You understand your challenge of having chronic depression and do your best to conquer it. Bravo!

I red highlighted your sentence about avoiding negative people and listening to music. Yes, that's exactly what I do too.

Doing something good is great for our mind.

Life is not easy. It's unfair...but hey..at least is interesting.
Let's move on. We only live once anyway. Live and let live :)

cheers

Thanks Asian Phoenixx :D They also say there are 2 main ways to help against depression, one is sports, and another is art.

I guess it depends if you are more of a deep thinker or creative type, or a physical type.

I think exercise is great either way as it boosts endorphins which make you feel good, it also helps you get a better self image too and have more energy. But joining a team can also be a good break out from feeling isolated or alone.

Poker was a good activity for me. I used to play a lot of sports but am not as fit as I used to be back then. But poker gave me the competitive outlet, as well as the social good times with friends once a week. I can't just go out drinking, I need something to focus on, I get bored otherwise, and am not a dancer lol so that doesn't help either.

Music's always there though, I love my music, and there's always new stuff to discover. It's my true love.

[asianphoenixx]

Tia may have been misunderstood in her post, but if you are depressed or need moral support, she is a good friend to have. I speak from personal experience.


if you are depressed or need moral support, she is a good friend to have.....and if I may add: as long as you are willing to listen, (try to be) positive, and not being judgmental, negative or cynical.

[asianphoenixx]

Thanks Asian Phoenixx :D They also say there are 2 main ways to help against depression, one is sports, and another is art.

I guess it depends if you are more of a deep thinker or creative type, or a physical type.

I think exercise is great either way as it boosts endorphins which make you feel good, it also helps you get a better self image too and have more energy. But joining a team can also be a good break out from feeling isolated or alone.

Poker was a good activity for me. I used to play a lot of sports but am not as fit as I used to be back then. But poker gave me the competitive outlet, as well as the social good times with friends once a week. I can't just go out drinking, I need something to focus on, I get bored otherwise, and am not a dancer lol so that doesn't help either.

Music's always there though, I love my music, and there's always new stuff to discover. It's my true love.

thanks for the confirmation my friend.

Odelay and Broncofan have already given a valuable input with regards to this too, and now, you are the third person who confirms it.

there are 3 points that have been mentioned that are actually very important:
1.Power of mind
2.Finding a good mental health practitioner (doctor)
3.Recommendation of medicine.


then You, Broncofan, and Odelay have again confirmed that finding or doing something that we like (hobby) definitely help.
Odelay and Broncofan have mentioned to keep physically active is important, and for you as well (exercise, poker and music)

For me personally: exercise, sex and traveling

All of us agree, exercise is not only important for the body, but also for the mind.

Men sana in corpore sano (latin)
meaning: In a good, healthy body, there is a good, healthy mind

cheers

[marriedgrl_chasrstayaway]

I'm not capable of doing adult work -- or much of anything -- anymore. I've been taking down my online presence and just wanted to leave a final note to the effect of "don't expect to see or hear from me further." I've just hit the logical conclusion of my life's trajectory and am consequently done with everything. I'm glad some of you enjoyed my content and/or me, and I'm sorry I can't provide more of both. Goodbye.

See the damage you fucking chasers cause?? you all deserve no less than death. ugh ... the shit i read here turns my stomach. and the whores here who encourage your disrespect and fetishization deserve to met the same end.

[CoolAwesomeBXDude]

Your not going to get anything accomplished by bashing everybody married girl your just going to raise more conflicts

[Jericho]

See the damage you fucking chasers cause?? you all deserve no less than death. ugh ... the shit i read here turns my stomach. and the whores here who encourage your disrespect and fetishization deserve to met the same end.


You're a real fucking humanitarian, aintcha! :dead-1:

[bluesoul]

if you are depressed or need moral support, she is a good friend to have.....and if I may add: as long as you are willing to listen, (try to be) positive, and not being judgmental, negative or cynical.

how much does it cost for the human hobbits to listen to you?


See the damage you fucking chasers cause?? you all deserve no less than death. ugh ... the shit i read here turns my stomach. and the whores here who encourage your disrespect and fetishization deserve to met the same end.

lol. what's cooking marriedgrl_chasrstayaway?

[marriedgrl_chasrstayaway]

good. chasers are enemies to the girls.... a poison. a lot of girls have super low self-esteem and think a place like this validates them. i dont care about causing conflicts with chasers... chasers aka "admirers" are mortal enemies of trans girls. a lot of women will be afraid to speak out or even attack me... but i understand where the attacks come from. they depend on their chaser masters for their livelyhood so of course they have fear and anxiety about this transphobic and transmisogynistic structure being dismantled. i am the angel of death when it comes to chasers and will not put down my sword until each and every grl is safe.

[CoolAwesomeBXDude]

So how is responding on a forum going to accomplish that when 75% of them don't even know this site exists

[bluesoul]

good. chasers are enemies to the girls.... a poison. a lot of girls have super low self-esteem and think a place like this validates them. i dont care about causing conflicts with chasers... chasers aka "admirers" are mortal enemies of trans girls. a lot of women will be afraid to speak out or even attack me... but i understand where the attacks come from. they depend on their chaser masters for their livelyhood so of course they have fear and anxiety about this transphobic and transmisogynistic structure being dismantled. i am the angel of death when it comes to chasers and will not put down my sword until each and every grl is safe.

no doubt no doubt. chasers are like parasites, eating away at the trannies.

so, what are you up to today? anything good on tv?

[ElectricWoody]

OK, someone accepted the trials of life. I've seen people do this at 20, 30 and some just wait till they are 60. Ok, you've said goodbye, now go do what you really want to do. But the real big secret to life is "You don't tell no one". Otherwise its all a challenge in your own head.

[my my my!]

I am the angel of death...

Nah, you're more of an internet troll.

[GroobySteven]

i am the angel of death ....


Fly towards the ban light butterfly, fly!

Banned!

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Fly towards the ban light butterfly, fly!

Banned!

Well Done, Steven!!!:pumped:

[broncofan]

will not put down my sword until each and every grl is safe.
OR when you're banned from the private forum you're posting on for your tedious, hypocritical posts. Whichever comes first right?

[fred41]

lol...probably should have held off on the ban for just a teensy weensy bit longer...
...she was providing some really funny stuff there...I mean "angel of death...and swords" and all that...reminds me of the movie "Hospital" - "I am a fool for christ and the parakleet of Kaborca !!"...or something like that.

:D :D :D :D

[fred41]

lol...I wonder if she spewed all that nonsense out loud, while she applied mascara to the good customers at the Macy's cosmetics counter.

[Rusty Eldora]

Back to the OP, I saw a post by her on another site:


YAY!!! Got the confirmation from my university: official graduation date is September 9, 2014

She's been on a roll in many ways of late. Besides for completing school she has passed a ton of qualification tests.

I only know her on the web but I see a huge positive change. I think she has addressed a lot of things and accomplished a lot. Those reading here should take heart that things can get better. If you are feeling really down please seek professional help, all of our journeys have rough stretches.

[tsmirandameadows]

She's been on a roll in many ways of late. Besides for completing school she has passed a ton of qualification tests.

I only know her on the web but I see a huge positive change. I think she has addressed a lot of things and accomplished a lot.

Thank you, Rusty. :)

[maxpower]

Nice to see you and hear you're doing well, Miranda.

[tsmirandameadows]

Nice to see you and hear you're doing well, Miranda.

Thank you. It's definitely been a rough ride getting to this point, but my life has really improved dramatically over the course of this summer. I've filed for my legal name change, passed several IT certification exams and am currently studying for the Cisco Certified Network Associate, and just yesterday I finished the requirements for my bachelor's degree. I got a little bit of a thrill today when I calculated my graduating GPA and realized I cleared 3.70, my university's requirement for graduating magna cum laude. In late September I'm getting facial feminization and breast augmentation done, and I plan to finish my CCNA prep while in the weeks leading up to the surgery and those spent in recovery, so I can transition into a hunt for full-time, or at least contract full-time, IT work as soon as my face is healed. As for porn, I haven't shot anything all year, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to shoot more, at least on some level. We'll just have to see though.

[CoolAwesomeBXDude]

yeah congrats...

[jerseygirlangie]

That is absolutely fantastic news, Miranda !
Congratulations !

[alexjaneTS]

The very best of luck to you I really hope it goes well! X

[youngblood61]

Glad too see that you are doing well Miranda.:)

[mrtrebus]

I can only echo what others have said. Well done & good luck. . .oh & do a bit more porn lol!

[parts25]

It's always great to see someone (especially in porn) with a good head on her shoulders and carving out a career and life for herself through hard work and education. Education and a career are very important since youth and porn are fleeting. Before you know it you will be well off. Good luck to you.

[gaysian71]

Thank you. It's definitely been a rough ride getting to this point, but my life has really improved dramatically over the course of this summer. I've filed for my legal name change, passed several IT certification exams and am currently studying for the Cisco Certified Network Associate, and just yesterday I finished the requirements for my bachelor's degree. I got a little bit of a thrill today when I calculated my graduating GPA and realized I cleared 3.70, my university's requirement for graduating magna cum laude. In late September I'm getting facial feminization and breast augmentation done, and I plan to finish my CCNA prep while in the weeks leading up to the surgery and those spent in recovery, so I can transition into a hunt for full-time, or at least contract full-time, IT work as soon as my face is healed. As for porn, I haven't shot anything all year, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to shoot more, at least on some level. We'll just have to see though.

Wow, a fellow IT geek. Now I'm totally in love!!!
Congrats on all you have accomplished. I'm sure you will find the job that you are looking for and really enjoy it. I know I love it. Playing with technology is just that. Playing. To me servers, switches and routers are like toys. And the advances in technology just keep coming, so it never gets boring. You will probably never get rich unless you develop some new piece of hardware or software, but you will never be poor either.

I hope your surgeries and transition go well. Once you land a job, I'm sure all the guys you work with will just love working with you.

[uni66]

Wellcome back Miranda! :D

[tsmirandameadows]

And the advances in technology just keep coming, so it never gets boring.

That's definitely one of the things that appeals to me about this field: you are always learning new things and always studying. It's kinda like being an academic only you do something essential for commerce and draw a good paycheck without first having to suffer through 6-10 years of graduate school and another decade of crappy adjunct jobs.

[MrFanti]

passed several IT certification exams and am currently studying for the Cisco Certified Network Associate, and just yesterday I finished the requirements for my bachelor's degree. I got a little bit of a thrill today when I calculated my graduating GPA and realized I cleared 3.70,

Congrats to you & those IT Certs will get you far! For an added "plus", you also might want to get one of the SANS (GSEC/GSLC) certifications too!

Again, congrats to ya! :cheers:

[tsmirandameadows]

Congrats to you & those IT Certs will get you far! For an added "plus", you also might want to get one of the SANS (GSEC/GSLC) certifications too!

Again, congrats to ya! :cheers:

Cool, I'll definitely check those out as they've appeared on various job descriptions I've looked at. After I've got the CCNA knocked out -- either in September or October depending upon what the surgery date gets finalized to -- my plan is to first and foremost get an enterprise IT job, most likely at the help desk but preferably as a junior network engineer, but also to keep pushing on to CCNP R&S. Once I've passed the three CCNP exams, I'll probably branch out and pick up entry level certs for other vendors, i.e. MCSA Server 2012 R2, RHCSA, CCA-V, etc., quite possibly including the certs you mentioned.

[nysprod]

That all sounds fantastic Miranda...looks like things are going well for you, which I'm very glad to see.

[MrFanti]

Cool, I'll definitely check those out as they've appeared on various job descriptions I've looked at. After I've got the CCNA knocked out -- either in September or October depending upon what the surgery date gets finalized to -- my plan is to first and foremost get an enterprise IT job, most likely at the help desk but preferably as a junior network engineer, but also to keep pushing on to CCNP R&S. Once I've passed the three CCNP exams, I'll probably branch out and pick up entry level certs for other vendors, i.e. MCSA Server 2012 R2, RHCSA, CCA-V, etc., quite possibly including the certs you mentioned.

GSEC is comparable to Sec + (although GSEC is slightly "better" IMHO) and GSLC is comparable to CISSP

Don't forget to check out employers paying for Certs too!

Best of luck to you!

[red-cyberman]

Cool, I'll definitely check those out as they've appeared on various job descriptions I've looked at. After I've got the CCNA knocked out -- either in September or October depending upon what the surgery date gets finalized to -- my plan is to first and foremost get an enterprise IT job, most likely at the help desk but preferably as a junior network engineer, but also to keep pushing on to CCNP R&S. Once I've passed the three CCNP exams, I'll probably branch out and pick up entry level certs for other vendors, i.e. MCSA Server 2012 R2, RHCSA, CCA-V, etc., quite possibly including the certs you mentioned.

Wow best of luck Miranda keep us updated on your news

[tsmirandameadows]

Well it's official: my surgery date for facial feminization and breast augmentation is September 24th.

[fred41]

Good luck Miranda...happy for you.

You're a pretty lady now...always thought you looked a bit like a young Susan Dey...(hey, what do I know :)..)

be great to see the results after you heal...best of luck!

[stallion79]

Congrats! I hope all goes well.