No Strings Sex - Charging For It

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

I just saw another thread about someone posting for no strings attached sex with an attractive tgirl with a big dick.

What made me post this was that someone said don't expect a tgirl to give you no strings attached sex without charging you.

My question is why does charging someone for a night out and sex have to be a prerequisite with a lot of TGs? I have been with GGs and TGs. I have never experienced that mentality with GGs and I have been with a decent amount (not too many and not too little). I have been with 3 tgirls and 1 out of 3 asked me for money AFTER I got to her house (didn't give it to her and fucked anyway lol). I was just curious as to what the responses and discussion would be. Why does it seem to mostly be like that in the TG community? I see it so much on all TG websites.

I've never had a GG say I had to pay her if all I was looking for was sex whether it was before meeting or after meeting and we were attracted to each other and about to do something. Nobody has ever said after I've kissed them, "If we are going to just fuck you are going to have to pay me.".

I'm not knocking anyone for doing what they do either.

[amberskyi]

Because the amount of men that approach a trans girl for just sex is disproportionately higher than the men who are approaching her for something real.often times these men are closeted and just looking for an experience.doesn't really sound all that appealing when someone hits you up on some "I've never been with a shemald, be my first" type shit.
It can be a bit discouraging so some charge for it.

[Rabbiteyes]

I've never had a GG say I had to pay her if all I was looking for was sex whether it was before meeting or after meeting and we were attracted to each other and about to do something.

Because GGs know even if it is a hookup or something like that...there is still the real possibility that things might progress into more of a relationship. Yea, for that moment it is "just about sex", but many relationships start with FWB and then you get to know each other.

TGs learn that most guys JUST want sex and the idea of anything more is out of the question (even just going out in public together to spend time together isn't something a lot of guys would do because they are so ashamed / embarrassed to be seen with you). Basically, the TG is just a dirty little secret / fetish that the guy wants to try once or twice before moving on... so you are pretty much a whore at that point anyway, might as well charge.

Also given the financial difficulties many TGs have (transitioning isn't cheap, combined with the huge discrimination in terms of work opportunities)... it makes the idea of earning money from sex even more appealing (if you are going to be used and thrown away, might as well try to get further ahead in transition).

Ideally getting enough money will allow a TG to transition far enough (surgeries and whatnot) that they might finally get a shot for a real relationship (most TGs end up alone though, regardless of how they look).

[giovanni_hotel]

If more guys actually DATED TS instead of just seeking them out only for booty calls, tgirls wouldn't think sex with random men had a price tag on it.

If admirers like myself still didn't have issues about being out and proud all the time about our attraction to trans-women, it would kill the whole escorting game because most of these girls would be snatched up with BFs.

For a guy, just imagine that 99% of all the women you knew ONLY wanted to see you behind closed doors and ONLY for sex. After a while it would fuck your head up.

I've been kicked out of a girl's apartment a few times after sex and even that minor diss made me feel used. I imagine for TS dealing with DL men that feeling is 100x worse.

It up to admirers to change the game, not TS.

If a guy treats a girl, GG or TG, like she's a prostitute(only good to fuck/suck then bounce), she would be dumb not to charge for the experience.

[amberskyi]

So are you saying your still closeted because i never really got that vibe from you

[nysprod]

If more guys actually DATED TS instead of just seeking them out only for booty calls, tgirls wouldn't think sex with random men had a price tag on it.

C'mon man, no way to factually ascertain this "statistic."


If admirers like myself still didn't have issues about being out and proud all the time about our attraction to trans-women, it would kill the whole escorting game because most of these girls would be snatched up with BFs.

That I'll buy, and I admire your honesty



For a guy, just imagine that 99% of all the women you knew ONLY wanted to see you behind closed doors and ONLY for sex. After a while it would fuck your head up.

Life sucks, then you die...what you gonna do...lol


I've been kicked out of a girl's apartment a few times after sex and even that minor diss made me feel used. I imagine for TS dealing with DL men that feeling is 100x worse.

Why kicked out?


It up to admirers to change the game, not TS.

Two way street here.


If a guy treats a girl, GG or TG, like she's a prostitute(only good to fuck/suck then bounce), she would be dumb not to charge for the experience.

Word

[LexusFire]

:iagree:

[Amber Littlefeather]

Hey everyone:-D....I am going to add a little fuel to the fire... its only right that some of the shady guys out there with wives and girlfriends at home should indeed have to pay extra for girls that have extra.:2cent

[giovanni_hotel]

So are you saying your still closeted because i never really got that vibe from you


Closeted in the sense that I'm not at that I-don't-give-a-fuck about what anyone else thinks about my attraction to TS 24/7. Like I won't volunteer that info but if it comes up, I won't deny it either.

I also say I'm still in the closet because although I have been in public with TS I'd been intimate with, that's not always the case.
If you aren't OUT about vibing on transwomen and treating them EXACTLY the way you would a GG you're fucking all the time(like going out, getting something to eat, etc.), you IMO aren't totally out.

I still feel like I live two lives; the one that includes TS and a totally different set of friends and places I hang out, and one that doesn't really show that side of me.

TS can be shady for a million different reasons, but bottom line the problem with most transwomen begins and ends with the men who lust after them.

[amberskyi]

*sigh* this life is really fucking depressing sometimes.makes you want to give up

[giovanni_hotel]

C'mon man, no way to factually ascertain this "statistic."



That I'll buy, and I admire your honesty




Life sucks, then you die...what you gonna do...lol



Why kicked out?



Two way street here.



Word

You talk to most TS and they know there's a percentage of guys who want to be with them sexually. More men actually than many straight guys will admit. However ask a TS how many longterm BFs they've had or significant relationships with a guy, and for many tgirls the answer is NEVER.
That's just not normal for any girl, GG or TG, since most guys stick around and want to BE with a girl if the sex is good and the female is chill. Most guys get possessive of a woman after sex. I don't think this happens much for TS.

And I got kicked out of girl's crib because she was in it only for the sex and didn't want me sleeping in the bed next to her.lol
She wasn't rude about it, but it was time for me to go.

[giovanni_hotel]

*sigh* this life is really fucking depressing sometimes.makes you want to give up

You can't ever give up. The alternative sucks.
BTW you seem very datable Amber, from seeing your pics and talking to you on this board. It's hard for TS to find guys for more than sex, but it's not impossible.

[amberskyi]

I'm starting to think I'm going to end up alone in life and that thought terrifies me.the price for transitioning is way too high

[Rabbiteyes]

*sigh* this life is really fucking depressing sometimes.makes you want to give up

It isn't thattt bad :P

Yea the likelyhood for a long relationship is pretty low.... but really, lots of people never find anyone (and look at all the married cheating guys, even girls who find a long term relationship end up being temporary anyway).

There is a lot more than just a long term relationship. For companionship there are lots of cool people to be friends with too (and then the entire issue of being trans isn't an issue). And there is always hope you will find someone (since, there ARE some trans out there with relationships).

[amberskyi]

It isn't thattt bad :P

Yea the likelyhood for a long relationship is pretty low.... but really, lots of people never find anyone (and look at all the married cheating guys, even girls who find a long term relationship end up being temporary anyway).

There is a lot more than just a long term relationship. For companionship there are lots of cool people to be friends with too (and then the entire issue of being trans isn't an issue). And there is always hope you will find someone (since, there ARE some trans out there with relationships).

I'm a romantic (this information better never leave this board,i have an image to keep lol) and friends for me isn't enough to fill my life.
I know that relationships happen, I've been in three but out of all of them only one of the guys was completely open about being with me (meeting family etc).
I've been amber for 6 years now and I've only meet one guy who's treated me exactly like a normal woman! That is a very sad reality...

[Rabbiteyes]

I'm a romantic (this information better never leave this board,i have an image to keep lol) and friends for me isn't enough to fill my life.

Me too ~_~

But as you get older, you slowly get more and more used to it. Sure some moments of loneliness / depression, but you get over them and things seem fine again.

The longest "relationship" I've had is a handful of dates :P

But then I look at my GG friends (super sexy, gets tons of attention from guys) and they are just as alone :P Sure they have way more dates and longer relationships... but currently they are still single and do the same ups and downs of loneliness (as relationships come and go).

Basically, yea it is harder for TG...but really it is hard for everyone. You just kind of learn to deal with it and find other stuff to do.

[littletwink]

There's nothing wrong with a service-based relationship. Would you not pay your pool guy?

[Amber Littlefeather]

I'm a romantic (this information better never leave this board,i have an image to keep lol) and friends for me isn't enough to fill my life.
I know that relationships happen, I've been in three but out of all of them only one of the guys was completely open about being with me (meeting family etc).
I've been amber for 6 years now and I've only meet one guy who's treated me exactly like a normal woman! That is a very sad reality...
Hey hun...I have had good relationships and bad relationships i look at it like this i have to go through a few bed so I can get to the good one...from your posts I can tell you have a good heart you're young and beautiful it's worth sticking around good things are meant for you..xo Amber L.

[fred41]

Me too ~_~

But as you get older, you slowly get more and more used to it. Sure some moments of loneliness / depression, but you get over them and things seem fine again.

The longest "relationship" I've had is a handful of dates :P

But then I look at my GG friends (super sexy, gets tons of attention from guys) and they are just as alone :P Sure they have way more dates and longer relationships... but currently they are still single and do the same ups and downs of loneliness (as relationships come and go).

Basically, yea it is harder for TG...but really it is hard for everyone. You just kind of learn to deal with it and find other stuff to do.


I'm a romantic (this information better never leave this board,i have an image to keep lol) and friends for me isn't enough to fill my life.
I know that relationships happen, I've been in three but out of all of them only one of the guys was completely open about being with me (meeting family etc).
I've been amber for 6 years now and I've only meet one guy who's treated me exactly like a normal woman! That is a very sad reality...

As Rabbiteyes said...winding up alone isn't that bad.
Many of us have romantic notions about life when we are young, but as we get older reality slowly kicks in and sometimes we realize that there is a vast difference between what we think we want...and what we actually want. I was married for almost 20 years and then I couldn't do it anymore. I prefer to live alone. I have no intentions of ever sharing my home with someone on a permanent basis again. I'm completely upfront about this with anyone that asks. Although I've had and continue to have relationships of sorts - you can imagine this probably thins out the dating pool somewhat...but that's fine.

I understand you however,...you want to at least have the option open to you...and you feel it's not an even playing field. You do though and you probably don't realize it. You are very, very attractive and that already puts you ahead of the game. A vast amount of people are lucky to even have had one relationship in their whole lives due to appearance, social problems,handicaps, etc...things that have nothing to do with gender or sexuality at all.

If you want it, you'll probably find it...even if it takes longer than you wish it to...but sometimes after you find it ...you may not want it anymore..want and need aren't the same...lol.

sorry for the babble...just finished a pot of coffee.

[amberskyi]

Me too ~_~

But as you get older, you slowly get more and more used to it. Sure some moments of loneliness / depression, but you get over them and things seem fine again.

The longest "relationship" I've had is a handful of dates :P

But then I look at my GG friends (super sexy, gets tons of attention from guys) and they are just as alone :P Sure they have way more dates and longer relationships... but currently they are still single and do the same ups and downs of loneliness (as relationships come and go).

Basically, yea it is harder for TG...but really it is hard for everyone. You just kind of learn to deal with it and find other stuff to do.

wow and here i am feeling sorry for myself.
really just a handful of dates? that really sucks :(

[amberskyi]

Me too ~_~

But as you get older, you slowly get more and more used to it. Sure some moments of loneliness / depression, but you get over them and things seem fine again.

The longest "relationship" I've had is a handful of dates :P

But then I look at my GG friends (super sexy, gets tons of attention from guys) and they are just as alone :P Sure they have way more dates and longer relationships... but currently they are still single and do the same ups and downs of loneliness (as relationships come and go).

Basically, yea it is harder for TG...but really it is hard for everyone. You just kind of learn to deal with it and find other stuff to do.


Hey hun...I have had good relationships and bad relationships i look at it like this i have to go through a few bed so I can get to the good one...from your posts I can tell you have a good heart you're young and beautiful it's worth sticking around good things are meant for you..xo Amber L.

can i hire someone to do the filtering for me lol.i dont want to be jaded before i get to mr.right

[amberskyi]

As Rabbiteyes said...winding up alone isn't that bad.
Many of us have romantic notions about life when we are young, but as we get older reality slowly kicks in and sometimes we realize that there is a vast difference between what we think we want...and what we actually want. I was married for almost 20 years and then I couldn't do it anymore. I prefer to live alone. I have no intentions of ever sharing my home with someone on a permanent basis again. I'm completely upfront about this with anyone that asks. Although I've had and continue to have relationships of sorts - you can imagine this probably thins out the dating pool somewhat...but that's fine.

I understand you however,...you want to at least have the option open to you...and you feel it's not an even playing field. You do though and you probably don't realize it. You are very, very attractive and that already puts you ahead of the game. A vast amount of people are lucky to even have had one relationship in their whole lives due to appearance, social problems,handicaps, etc...things that have nothing to do with gender or sexuality at all.

If you want it, you'll probably find it...even if it takes longer than you wish it to...but sometimes after you find it ...you may not want it anymore..want and need aren't the same...lol.

sorry for the babble...just finished a pot of coffee.


so why wait 20 years until getting a divorce? if you dont mind me asking, did you marry for love or because it was expected of you?i find that love and relationships had a different meaning for the older generations.
dating use to be for the purpose of finding your spouse and less about spending time with a great person.there is still an emphasis on marriage and settling down but not to the same degree that it use to be.
i just want to eventually find someone that i can share a life with and grow with i dont think thats idealistic..i dont know maybe it is *shrugs*

[RallyCola]

the one dimensionality to this thread is amazing.

tgirls do not avail themselves to potential mates as much as many ggirls do. that is a fact. it is extremely rare to meet a tgirl under non-sexual circumstances.

when i was dating, if i saw a cute girl at school, i'd offer to "study" with her. if i saw a cute girl walking around the mall, i'd tell her how awesome she'd look in that dress in the window. if i saw a cute girl at starbucks, we'd be having coffee and sharing a muffin to break the ice. those are non-sexual circumstances and examples of how random people meet. i live in nyc...there are so many social situations/events I attend that I couldn't even count how many available ggirls are abound...it is extremely rare to meet a tgirl under such circumstances. most encounters occur in a specifically segregated situation like tranny night at the clubs or through sex-specific internet stuff.

yes, the fact of the matter is that many of the men that seek out tgirls online or at the tranny club nights may be secret sex hounds, but to lump all men into that category is bullshit.

simply put...women who have sex for $$$ (regardless if they are g or t) have a totally different outlook on life and men in general which is in stark contrast to women who do not have sex for money.

finally, i completely reject the idea that tgirls need to have sex for money to pay for transitioning. there are many tgirls that don't need to do it. it is just the quickest and usually least restrictive way to get cash. escorting does not require any education, certification or even routine schedule. in fact, none of the women i count among my friends ever needed or wanted to escort. they transitioned, 3 of them fully, without ever needing to sell ass at all.

[amberskyi]

yes, the fact of the matter is that many of the men that seek out tgirls online or at the tranny club nights may be secret sex hounds, but to lump all men into that category is bullshit.



no one is lumping ALL men into that category.as i said, ive had at least one man be completely open when dating me.however that is one man out of the dozens ive dated, either seriously or casually over the last six years.
we arent saying such men dont exist but that they are rarer and harder to come by than the tons of men who arent willing to actually date a ts.several girls have chimed in on this.i think you should just take our word for it because after all this is our life we are living and who else would know our experiences better than us lol

[RallyCola]

amber...under what circumstances do you meet the men that are "interested" in you. i use that term loosely because i am not sure how you define "interested."

are men that are interested in you approaching you because you are a tgirl or
are men that are interested in you told you are a tgirl only after they approach you?

[fred41]

so why wait 20 years until getting a divorce? if you dont mind me asking, did you marry for love or because it was expected of you?i find that love and relationships had a different meaning for the older generations.
dating use to be for the purpose of finding your spouse and less about spending time with a great person.there is still an emphasis on marriage and settling down but not to the same degree that it use to be.
i just want to eventually find someone that i can share a life with and grow with i dont think thats idealistic..i dont know maybe it is *shrugs*

I primarily married for love...and a tiny bit out of a sense of responsibility (I didn't get her pregnant,nothing like that..it's along story and kind of personal). I had a chance to end it after 10 years...but responsibility and my feelings of failure if I couldn't keep my vow kept me married. My father was married for life and I, and probably many others like me , thought you "had to" be together forever once you make that vow. It was a mistake.
..plus I really did...and still do...love my ex-wife very much.
But things and circumstances change with the years.
I was (or at least thought I was ) quite happy for many years.
..and then I wasn't.
You think and sometimes plan for your future to be a certain way for a big portion of your life..and then it isn't.
,,but the world keeps spinning and life goes on.

[amberskyi]

amber...under what circumstances do you meet the men that are "interested" in you. i use that term loosely because i am not sure how you define "interested."

are men that are interested in you approaching you because you are a tgirl or
are men that are interested in you told you are a tgirl only after they approach you?

all three of my serious boyfriends knew i was a ts and were actively looking for a ts girl.i tend to be very upfront with men about my gender status.i meet men mostly through dating sites as i find it easier to get involved in a situation where the person knows my gender from the very beginning instead of having to play the "how do i tell him or does he know" game that i would when meeting men out and about.i dont interact socially with my clients if that is what your wondering.
and whats the point of putting impassive on the word interested.the way any man would be interested in a woman.there are a variety of ways a man can be interested in a girl from sexual,to romantically (as it would apply to the situation we are talking about).

i feel like your coming off a bit unnecessarily snide or agressive

[dderek123]

I'm wayyy too clingy to do the no strings attached thing. It's one of my many imperfections.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT5YxMW4PdVcNKZ7rIEpqBP8JCXm1-MAXkspEkIpxeULGbZ0yW7

[stallion79]

I have had at least three long term relationships with t-girls over the years. I have never done the paid route. I say this not to brag or anything, merely to point out that I much prefer a deep one on one relationship to anything else. Guys like us exist!!

[RallyCola]

all three of my serious boyfriends knew i was a ts and were actively looking for a ts girl.i tend to be very upfront with men about my gender status.i meet men mostly through dating sites as i find it easier to get involved in a situation where the person knows my gender from the very beginning instead of having to play the "how do i tell him or does he know" game that i would when meeting men out and about.i dont interact socially with my clients if that is what your wondering.
and whats the point of putting impassive on the word interested.the way any man would be interested in a woman.there are a variety of ways a man can be interested in a girl from sexual,to romantically (as it would apply to the situation we are talking about).

i feel like your coming off a bit unnecessarily snide or agressive

i am focusing on "interested" to ascertain if the men are attracted to you BECAUSE you are a transwoman or if they are attracted to you in general.

when you single out a group of people to be attracted to, you have to be a little suspect as to why...some are innocent and others can be problematic. for example, there are some men that only are interested in blondes, there are some women that only like cops/firemen, there are some men that only like old cougars, there are some women that only want a doctor or lawyer, etc.

my point is that by your own admission, you've already reduced the amount of available men that might be interested in you by the dating site ad you put up. you've reduced the group of available men to those who are seeking a transwoman (whether for a fantasy or more).

i know that it is a lot of bullshit to deal with because if you met a man that was interested in you, you have to wonder about the timing of telling him or whether or not you would scare him away with your anatomy...i get it...it is a step ggirls don't have to go through and for that, i understand the need to be up front and indicate that you are in transition on a dating profile...but at the same time, that also sets you up for getting the wrong kind of attention from the ill-mannered man.

[Rabbiteyes]

you've reduced the group of available men to those who are seeking a transwoman (whether for a fantasy or more).

LOL! So....you are completely out of touch with reality?

Your advice is to "trap" guys not looking for trans people?

Online that will just throw away a TON of time (as guys will reject you extremely fast when they find out...the longer you wait to tell them, the angrier they will be).

In person that will just put you in a LOOOOTTTT of danger (being beat up or murdered kind of sucks).


finally, i completely reject the idea that tgirls need to have sex for money to pay for transitioning. there are many tgirls that don't need to do it.

I never said they all need to. I surely don't. It is simply one option (and as many trans people are fired or completely rejected from their family, money and opportunity are harder to come by). Luckily I still have my family and my career isn't threatened, but I know many who don't have such luxuries.

[MsDazzler]

Fortunately I love being single, so it does not really bother me that most guys just want to fuck and run.

Even when I was previously a gay man and had few relationships, I never were really happy in those relationships as well as being a gay man when I felt like a straight woman.

I would prefer lead a life as a wild, carefree, and independent straight woman than a life as an unhappy, apathetic, and depressed gay man in multiple relationships.

Sure, perhaps once a year like Valentine's Day or family gatherings, I do wish wistfully I had a partner .... JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE AROUND ME IS POSTING PICTURES OF THEIR SIGNFICANT OTHERS or is in attendance with their spouses during the event...

But other than that, I do not really even think about having relationships that much.

I much prefer friends with benefits.... an interesting thing to note: FWBs tend to be more open minded about being seen in public with me than those who are just in it for sex only and we have no friendship connection.

For example, I have few FWBs on my FB, but none of my hookups. lol

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

Because the amount of men that approach a trans girl for just sex is disproportionately higher than the men who are approaching her for something real.often times these men are closeted and just looking for an experience.doesn't really sound all that appealing when someone hits you up on some "I've never been with a shemald, be my first" type shit.
It can be a bit discouraging so some charge for it.

So you are saying more shemales get approached for sex more often than GGs? I disagree big time.

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

If more guys actually DATED TS instead of just seeking them out only for booty calls, tgirls wouldn't think sex with random men had a price tag on it.

If admirers like myself still didn't have issues about being out and proud all the time about our attraction to trans-women, it would kill the whole escorting game because most of these girls would be snatched up with BFs.

For a guy, just imagine that 99% of all the women you knew ONLY wanted to see you behind closed doors and ONLY for sex. After a while it would fuck your head up.

I've been kicked out of a girl's apartment a few times after sex and even that minor diss made me feel used. I imagine for TS dealing with DL men that feeling is 100x worse.

It up to admirers to change the game, not TS.

If a guy treats a girl, GG or TG, like she's a prostitute(only good to fuck/suck then bounce), she would be dumb not to charge for the experience.

Yeah, but there are more GG than TG in the US at least and men treat GGs like sexual objects most of the time.

[amberskyi]

So you are saying more shemales get approached for sex more often than GGs? I disagree big time.

i fucking hate that word and often indicates how a guy interacts with the girls

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

TS can be shady for a million different reasons, but bottom line the problem with most transwomen begins and ends with the men who lust after them.

See I don't agree with this because you are taking the power out of a TGs hands by saying that. It makes them seem helpless and it just encourages them to fall into that category. It actually perpetuates that type of lifestyle by saying the guys are to blame. Nobody makes someone become a prostitute or charge or become shady. You can only control what you do and take responsibility for your own actions.

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

*sigh* this life is really fucking depressing sometimes.makes you want to give up

No. You have to be happy with who you are and make the best of what you have. Sure it can be depressing, but there is never a reason to give up, never.

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

I'm starting to think I'm going to end up alone in life and that thought terrifies me.the price for transitioning is way too high

You are beautiful! You have to be happy with yourself at the end of the day and being alone is part of that.

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

Me too ~_~

But as you get older, you slowly get more and more used to it. Sure some moments of loneliness / depression, but you get over them and things seem fine again.

The longest "relationship" I've had is a handful of dates :P

But then I look at my GG friends (super sexy, gets tons of attention from guys) and they are just as alone :P Sure they have way more dates and longer relationships... but currently they are still single and do the same ups and downs of loneliness (as relationships come and go).

Basically, yea it is harder for TG...but really it is hard for everyone. You just kind of learn to deal with it and find other stuff to do.

I think this is more what I believe.

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

There's nothing wrong with a service-based relationship. Would you not pay your pool guy?

The pool guy is working for money.

If two people have sex they are both being pleased. If you are attracted to me and I to you then we have sex. Money should not be a prerequisite. Unless, it is implicitly stated that prostitution is what it is beforehand.

Like the TGs house that I went over one time. We both talked for a while and then set it up for us to hang out at her place. After I get there she starts talking about how she needs money for her phone bill. That's not cool!

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

can i hire someone to do the filtering for me lol.i dont want to be jaded before i get to mr.right

That's exactly what happens too! I've been with women who said I was too good to be true and were just waiting for me to fuck up and it hurts relationships to the point of where they are unknowingly sabotaging a good thing. Just go with the flow. if someone shows you their ass then take it for what it is, but if a guy gives you no reason to think he's an asshole then stop waiting for the moment that he fucks up and just live in the moment.

[BellaBellucci]

"I've never been with a shemald, be my first"

What shocks me isn't that men feel this way, but that they take advantage of the vulnerability and desire for validation that many trans women feel
early in transition to just come out and say it, expecting no consequences and not even remotely considering the possibility that this might be a total turn-off.

It is.

What's worse is that, alternately, many men think this is actually some kind of turn-on for us.

It isn't.

We're not all insecure in our sexuality and we don't all require your 'validation.' And bottoms: you're even worse, because nothing says invalidation better than begging us to treat you as the girl and top you. Sure, a lot of girls will do it, but you're going to pay most of them... and you should.

~BB~

[dderek123]

http://i.imgur.com/CtOz7Zk.jpg

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

i fucking hate that word and often indicates how a guy interacts with the girls

.....but I'm quoting YOU! LOL

[amberskyi]

I obviously used that word in context to how some guys approach me.that's why it was in quotation marks hun

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

I obviously used that word in context to how some guys approach me.that's why it was in quotation marks hun

My mistake. You see I use TG or tgirl in all other posts though.

[pantic]

I obviously used that word in context to how some guys approach me.that's why it was in quotation marks hun

Nah you seem like a true girl girl yafeel me cause you care more about personality than fucking:clover::clover::clover::clover::clover::cl over::clover:

[amberskyi]

That's exactly what happens too! I've been with women who said I was too good to be true and were just waiting for me to fuck up and it hurts relationships to the point of where they are unknowingly sabotaging a good thing. Just go with the flow. if someone shows you their ass then take it for what it is, but if a guy gives you no reason to think he's an asshole then stop waiting for the moment that he fucks up and just live in the moment.

Yea, that's pretty much what i do now except i notice I'm holding back more and that's not really something i did before.for example if i like a guy and I'm attracted to him than i get pretty physical early on naturally.however,because of some experiences within the last year I'm kinda paranoid to even kiss a guy now because i don't want to feel used when his true intentions come out.

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

Yea, that's pretty much what i do now except i notice I'm holding back more and that's not really something i did before.for example if i like a guy and I'm attracted to him than i get pretty physical early on naturally.however,because of some experiences within the last year I'm kinda paranoid to even kiss a guy now because i don't want to feel used when his true intentions come out.

That's understandable. You are just protecting yourself. It's normal after being hurt. You have learned from the past and that's a good thing.

I hate when people say you can't be like that. You SHOULD be like that LOL. it's how you protect yourself. You are just asking to be taken advantage of if you don't.

[Rabbiteyes]

That's exactly what happens too! I've been with women who said I was too good to be true and were just waiting for me to fuck up and it hurts relationships to the point of where they are unknowingly sabotaging a good thing. Just go with the flow.


That's understandable. You are just protecting yourself. It's normal after being hurt. You have learned from the past and that's a good thing.

I hate when people say you can't be like that. You SHOULD be like that LOL. it's how you protect yourself. You are just asking to be taken advantage of if you don't.

~so confused~

[RallyCola]

Your advice is to "trap" guys not looking for trans people?

where did i say trap?

option 1...a man finds your pleasant enough to try to hit on you...you accept his minimal advances and then you tell him. if he runs screaming, fine...if he doesn't seem to mind, carry on.

option 2...put an ad online advertising your trans status and only attract men who are looking for a transwoman.

if the complaint is that too many guys who are actively seeking a transwoman are only out to fulfill a sexual fantasy, option 2 hardly seems like a good idea.

this all comes back to how you really see yourself. are you your gender first personality second or are you a person to be loved first and your gender is less relevant? i am lucky to count 2 extremely wonderful ladies among my group of friends who are both in very loving, committed relationships. i, unequivocally, know that they have never trapped a guy but also never felt the need to advertise their anatomy.

What you "lead" with is clearly what you think is most important. For example, i report to 2 different people. in the clinic, i report to a short korean MD who introduces himself as "Hello, I am Dr. (insert name)" whereas in my lab, i report to a MD/Phd that introduces himself as "Hey, I'm Barry!" Clearly my clinical supervisor needs for you to know that he is an MD whereas my lab supervisor doesn't give 2 fucks if you know what letters are after his name. The same principle applies...you lead with "I'm a tgirl" you get what you get.

you can't complain about the attention you invite by how you choose to present yourself.

[bluesoul]

It up to admirers to change the game, not TS.

how about if they just didn't pay? i know that's kinda "weird" and a very radical idea, but let's just put it out there, as an option. like "i'll have sex with you, and instead of paying you, i won't.. coz ... i loved it and.. yeah"

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

~so confused~

There's a difference with protecting yourself by being cautious and implicitly letting your past affect your current relationship.

You can be careful, but you can't judge someone because of past people's mistakes meaning if I don't give you a reason to think I'm being shady then you shouldn't be calling me every 5 minutes to see where I am or checking my phone for all my messages etc. Things like that.

You can still have learned from your past and if you see the same things happening from a person then red flags go up. THEN you should be concerned and start asking questions etc.

[Rabbiteyes]

where did i say trap?

option 1...a man finds your pleasant enough to try to hit on you...you accept his minimal advances and then you tell him. if he runs screaming, fine...if he doesn't seem to mind, carry on.

option 2...put an ad online advertising your trans status and only attract men who are looking for a transwoman.

You don't lose option 1 (if they were interested) if you post it in your profile. It lets them go "oh, wait, trans?!"... and then they can think about it and send you a message or not (I have plenty of guys who come to my profile who haven't considered a trans before, but saw it in my profile and decided to send a message anyway).

Putting it in your profile allows those who are looking specifically for trans to find you though (which is no problem, I am happy if a guy appreciates trans people and knows he wants a relationship with one. I have no problem being trans, why would I hold it against someone interested in us?).


you can't complain about the attention you invite by how you choose to present yourself.

No. Presenting myself openly as trans does NOT mean I am presenting myself as a porn star or anything else. That is on the other persons shoulders for being a bigotted POS.

It is like telling someone who is black to "gloss over that aspect at first" because putting it in their profile (or more obviously having a picture up) would be "presenting themselves as a ~insert horrible racist preconception here~".

I don't put "I AM TRANS" at the top of my profile (though I really should move the mention of being trans up, most guys don't read full profiles). But I definitely don't feel a need to run or hide from it. I am proud to be trans, I think me being trans means I would make a much better partner than a lot of GGs (since, well, compared to my GG friends...I'm way easier to get along with and less...well...all the stuff that comes along with being a pretty GG).

So, I put myself out there as I am, I don't hide anything...if a guy is interested, great lets talk. If they aren't interested? Super, they can just click off my profile and not waste my time.

[Amy Gray]

See I don't agree with this because you are taking the power out of a TGs hands by saying that. It makes them seem helpless and it just encourages them to fall into that category. It actually perpetuates that type of lifestyle by saying the guys are to blame. Nobody makes someone become a prostitute or charge or become shady. You can only control what you do and take responsibility for your own actions.

White cis guy explains to trans people what it's like to be trans. :dead:

Here, tell you what. Go look up some articles on transgender people and read through the comment sections. On any given article you will likely find the words "freak", "pervert", "it", and various threats to beat up a trans person. Now imagine those comments all correspond to real people. These are people who sell us things, rent us houses, who use public bathrooms with us, who would be in charge of hiring us, or even possibly be our bosses and coworkers if we got those jobs.

Now imagine that it's perfectly legal for them to act on their bigotry. In most states being trans is a legal reason to fire someone or refuse to hire them. I remember a case where a lawyer who had been working with the Georgia house of delegates for something like 8 years and got fired 5 hours after coming out to his boss with his desire to transition. Just recently I read about a trans woman with an electrical engineering degree who had been forced to work at walmart because she couldn't get anyone to hire her.

I'm sorry but the power IS out of trans people's hands. Our ability to even use the public restroom completely hinges on our ability to look feminine. Our ability to present as a woman for a employer is dependent on state legislatures that we have no power to influence and who have no interest in representing us.

I'm personally extremely lucky that I was born in an exceedingly liberal state but that's an accident of birth. The fact is that you don't have to worry about how you look when you walk into a bathroom or a changing room or even to go clothing shopping. You don't worry about your employer checking your gender marker when you apply for a job. You don't worry about your boss firing you for what you pack in your pants. When you go to look for a apartment, you don't worry about your landlord questioning if you're a guy or a girl.

I also reject the notion that being a sex worker is "shady"

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

White cis guy explains to trans people what it's like to be trans. :dead:

Here, tell you what. Go look up some articles on transgender people and read through the comment sections. On any given article you will likely find the words "freak", "pervert", "it", and various threats to beat up a trans person. Now imagine those comments all correspond to real people. These are people who sell us things, rent us houses, who use public bathrooms with us, who would be in charge of hiring us, or even possibly be our bosses and coworkers if we got those jobs.

Now imagine that it's perfectly legal for them to act on their bigotry. In most states being trans is a legal reason to fire someone or refuse to hire them. I remember a case where a lawyer who had been working with the Georgia house of delegates for something like 8 years and got fired 5 hours after coming out to his boss with his desire to transition. Just recently I read about a trans woman with an electrical engineering degree who had been forced to work at walmart because she couldn't get anyone to hire her.

I'm sorry but the power IS out of trans people's hands. Our ability to even use the public restroom completely hinges on our ability to look feminine. Our ability to present as a woman for a employer is dependent on state legislatures that we have no power to influence and who have no interest in representing us.

I'm personally extremely lucky that I was born in an exceedingly liberal state but that's an accident of birth. The fact is that you don't have to worry about how you look when you walk into a bathroom or a changing room or even to go clothing shopping. You don't worry about your employer checking your gender marker when you apply for a job. You don't worry about your boss firing you for what you pack in your pants. When you go to look for a apartment, you don't worry about your landlord questioning if you're a guy or a girl.

I also reject the notion that being a sex worker is "shady"

You are WAY out in left field! I didn't say I know what it's like to be trans. We were talking about TGs and the men who lust after them. Not which bathroom you go into or what house or apartment you want to rent or buy.

I never equated a sex worker with shady, you did!

"Nobody makes someone become a prostitute or charge or become shady. You can only control what you do and take responsibility for your own actions." That was my original quote. If you got that out of it then it's on you.

[RallyCola]

You don't lose option 1 (if they were interested) if you post it in your profile. It lets them go "oh, wait, trans?!"... and then they can think about it and send you a message or not (I have plenty of guys who come to my profile who haven't considered a trans before, but saw it in my profile and decided to send a message anyway).

Putting it in your profile allows those who are looking specifically for trans to find you though (which is no problem, I am happy if a guy appreciates trans people and knows he wants a relationship with one. I have no problem being trans, why would I hold it against someone interested in us?).

No. Presenting myself openly as trans does NOT mean I am presenting myself as a porn star or anything else. That is on the other persons shoulders for being a bigotted POS.

It is like telling someone who is black to "gloss over that aspect at first" because putting it in their profile (or more obviously having a picture up) would be "presenting themselves as a ~insert horrible racist preconception here~".

I don't put "I AM TRANS" at the top of my profile (though I really should move the mention of being trans up, most guys don't read full profiles). But I definitely don't feel a need to run or hide from it. I am proud to be trans, I think me being trans means I would make a much better partner than a lot of GGs (since, well, compared to my GG friends...I'm way easier to get along with and less...well...all the stuff that comes along with being a pretty GG).

So, I put myself out there as I am, I don't hide anything...if a guy is interested, great lets talk. If they aren't interested? Super, they can just click off my profile and not waste my time.

lol...let the hilarity ensue...you are unable to understand my POV simply because everything posted above indicates that you do define yourself by your transition first and foremost.

of course there is nothing wrong with that, many people are like that...it is the age old question....are you a black man or a man who is black? are you a cunt bag or a person with a cunt? it really doesn't matter to me which you are...a transwoman or a woman who was not born female...i really don't care except to point out that it has been my experience that people are happier when they are a "person that is..." instead of using a particular thing to be their defining characteristic.

it takes a a lot of personal character to realize that your circumstances and disposition DO NOT define you unless you want them to.

with that, i've veered off topic a bit too much.

the fact remains that you get the attention of the audience you appeal to based on the way you present yourself. transwomen who are escorts are far too often the ones to complain about men and their client's intentions as well as cry about not having the 2 kids in the suburbs in a house with a white picket fence. it is a 2 way street...advertise for johns, that's what you will get. look for a mate the way all other non-sex worker women do, you might have better results.

[Amy Gray]

You are WAY out in left field! I didn't say I know what it's like to be trans. We were talking about TGs and the men who lust after them. Not which bathroom you go into or what house or apartment you want to rent or buy.

I never equated a sex worker with shady, you did!

"Nobody makes someone become a prostitute or charge or become shady. You can only control what you do and take responsibility for your own actions." That was my original quote. If you got that out of it then it's on you.

Yes but do you really believe that all of that doesn't limit people's economic options A lot of trans women who do sex work get into it out of necessity.

[Rabbiteyes]

it is a 2 way street...advertise for johns, that's what you will get. look for a mate the way all other non-sex worker women do, you might have better results.

I'm not a sex worker... I'm a game designer / artist (with my own company).


it takes a a lot of personal character to realize that your circumstances and disposition DO NOT define you unless you want them to.

It may not matter to you, it may not matter to me...but it matters to a LOOOOOOTTTTTTT of people (ESPECIALLY men who are looking at your profile to see if they want to date you or not). In fact, it means SO MUCH to men that they will KILL YOU or horribly beat you in a bad reaction (not even with dating, even just walking around there are people who will become violent towards you).

Yea, being trans is kind of a big issue to a lot of people (it would be super-fuzzy-nice-lovey-lovey-unicorn-hugs if it wasn't a big deal, but ...in the USA? And many parts of the world? yea, kind of an issue).

[RallyCola]

Yea, being trans is kind of a big issue to a lot of people (it would be super-fuzzy-nice-lovey-lovey-unicorn-hugs if it wasn't a big deal, but ...in the USA? And many parts of the world? yea, kind of an issue).

like i said...we see things differently and i am not going to tell you how you should think or what it means to be trans. i could go on, but what's the point...i'm never going to date you for pay or for fun so its all good.

[amberskyi]

like i said...we see things differently and i am not going to tell you how you should think or what it means to be trans. i could go on, but what's the point...i'm never going to date you for pay or for fun so its all good.

Why are you mentioning for pay when she just stated she's not an escort.
Stop antagonizing her

[Rabbiteyes]

like i said...we see things differently

Cool, why do you see things the way you see them?

http://transequality.org/PDFs/Executive_Summary.pdf

Read this?

If you don't think being trans is a big deal in this society....uhh... you are either uneducated on the subject (which is nothing to be ashamed of, now you know better from the above link) or completely delusional and inventing your own version of the way the world is.


i'm never going to date you for pay or for fun so its all good.

lol .... sooo apparently things seem to be pointing towards you just being delusional lol

[Dino Velvet]

Rabbiteyes, I remember the video game clip you posted. It was very good. Would it be possible to repost it or any other work you've done?

[Rabbiteyes]

Rabbiteyes, I remember the video game clip you posted. It was very good. Would it be possible to repost it or any other work you've done?

Thanks :) Sure, www.studiofawn.com (all the artwork on there is what i do :3)

[Dino Velvet]

Thanks :) Sure, www.studiofawn.com (http://www.studiofawn.com) (all the artwork on there is what i do :3)

Thank you. I checked your profile but couldn't find it.

[MsDazzler]

If a guy calls me or bring up the word "Shemale" in any contact with me online, I am instantly turned off.

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

Yes but do you really believe that all of that doesn't limit people's economic options A lot of trans women who do sex work get into it out of necessity.

Sure it can limit it, but that's not what I was talking about LOL

You are limited if you go to school and get a degree in Psychology too, but that's not what I'm talking about.

[FreddieGomez]

I don't pay. Not all of us have to.

[Amber Littlefeather]

I am going to put this out there i think we have found out no matter how hard we try there are always strings when comes to love and sex...as for charging for it i can't say i never have asked for money for sex but i wil say this we all have price and its not always money:2cent

[jeniinnylons]

I am going to put this out there i think we have found out no matter how hard we try there are always strings when comes to love and sex...as for charging for it i can't say i never have asked for money for sex but i wil say this we all have price and its not always money:2cent

How much/what do you charge and when are you available? :fuckin: