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03-26-2004, 12:24 AM
I don't really use SER that much but i thought this was an interesting post:
I'm an ex-provider. I'm using a friend's account. I check in from time to time to see what's going on in this world. I think this forum has the potential to be great. It could protect both client and provider from harm by way of stds, muggings, etc. But I've been reading a lot of the posts-particularly the one by Iconoclast who asks if "t-girls are unobtainable." I've also read some of the reviews. While some seem fair and well-written, others are mean and hurtful. (Mine were always good, so I'm not bitter about that!) So I'd like to offer a providers point of view here. I'm going to be pretty blunt, and I hope no-one takes offense. I certainly intend to hurt no-one's feelings.
First, I don't think you guys understand transsexual women at all. First, most of us see ourselves not as "shemales" "trannies" or anything of that sort. I think of myself as essentially a woman–period. Shemales and other terms are appropriate here (SER) because they are in the realm of fantasy. What I mean here is that a gg stripper friend of mine once told me that she worked in the lines of fantasy fulfillment. I think that certainly describes the so-called Shemale escort scene. Essentially we provide homosexual contact for men who want the veneer of heterosexuality. Let's face it, the vast majority of you guys are really into us because we have a dick. That's just about the only thing that separates us from other women. For whatever reason, many tranny chasers (sorry that's the main term for your community at this point) seem to deny that they desire homosexual contact. On the other hand, most of the posts here (and reviews) emphasize how big a "girl's" genitalia is, how well it functions or if she is good at fucking men in the ass. Of my clientele, 95% were bottoms.
The problem is that most of us women see ourselves as women. In other words, none us are hard-wired to do the kind of job that you guys want done. You guys want us primarily for the part of our body that we are least comfortable about. In real life, I don't want a blow job. I get no pleasure from it, and it really bores me. My dick feels like concrete from the hormones, but I don't really care about that it being numb because I pretty much hate the fact that I have a dick! Moreover, I have never desired to penetrate a man's ass & since I'm retired sincerely hope that I never will have to again in my life. That said, I did & do appreciate the business when I was working. Again, I tried to do my best, although it didn't always work out. Sometimes it was just difficult trying to get an errection to do something I didn't really want to do. Every time I did it I felt a measure of repulsion. But I realized I was in the business of fantasy fulfillment, so I did my best all the time, for each client. There were times (particularly when it was a hairy ass: especially not my thing!) I was so repulsed I had a hard time keeping an erection. But I did my best. Remember, because this is a business relationship you don't get to pick and choose men. You have to take what comes across your door step. I've had 350 pound guys on their knees egging me on to '**** me like bitch!" It was hard to keep an errection (and to keep from laughing!) but I always did my best regardless. I tried to do it with grace and some sense of class and friendliness.
My sexuality is bisexual. Most tgs are bisexual and if you think about it, that makes a lot of sense. However, I prefer men. But I prefer men who are men–straight men who have no interest in my penis. I plan to loose it when I get the 15k (it's not $100,000s of dollars as one post mentioned) and move into life as genetically (well as much as possible) indistinguishable from any other woman. Not all of my sisters will go this route, but many if not most do. Even the ones who keep their penis have been pretty adamant about not particularly likeing the ‘topping' aspect of the work. But we tell you what you want to hear. It's our job.
I also like women and probably could enter in a long-term relationship with a tolerant lesbian. (I know of at least three top TS escorts who in their personal lives identify as lesbians.) But again, I would promise not to use my penis and we could have a fun lesbian relationship in other ways. Once you get estrogen flowing in your veins sex becomes less a pure physical act and more of a mental thing. I get off on sex (not through my estrogen deadened penis) because my man desires me, the intimacy, and the feeling of love it creates. Fantasy fulfillment doesn't offer those advantages because it's a business meeting between two consenting adults. But I tried to make my clients happy & leave satisfied.
Because I'm active in transgender politics, I know a tremendous amount of trans women both escorts and non-escorts. I've never heard of one who desires men as "bottoms" in their personal life. In fact, the terminology "top" and "bottom" has its origins in gay male sexual contact. If a ts woman were essentially satisfied by being a sexual "top" why would she take medications to deaden her penis & eventually have it inverted into a vagina? Because you are the paying client of the relationship, it is conducted according to your wishes, with our veto power of course. Therefore, when we go out and are approached by men who are "into" transsexuals, we are less than likely to give you the time of day. The kind of sex you desire is not what we like. In fact, we may even be repulsed because we know what you want. Still, that gives us no reason to be impolite or rude as I've seen many sisters do to an admirer. On the other hand, a lot of tranny chasers approach you with this opening line: "I'm straight–BUTT." It's the line we all dread to hear and can see right through. You want to have homosexual contact with us and not feel your heterosexuality challenger. Moreover, because their heterosexuaity probably felt challenged I've been in gay bars and had chasers insult my gay male friends, while trying to reaffirm their 'straight' nature. That's appalling behavior often spurs rudeness on the part of the ts woman. On the other hand, some admirers do admit to being bisexual and I have to say I respect guys like that a lot more. But I would no longer date a bisexual man.
Many of the posts complain about the looks of some of the escorts. Many of you guys are middle-age, balding, hairy and in less than superb physical shape. Most guys claim "average looking." That's ok. In fact, a couple of my ex-clients I now consider personal friends have these very same physical attributes. Now that I'm out of the business I would never have sex with them again, but I enjoy their conversation, etc. So I'm not being shallow here. But remember if you are going to a club and trying to hit on a trans woman who is a "ten" she's most likely looking for someone in her category regarding looks. I've been hit on by professional sports figures and have picked up extremely hot, built guys who were not tranny chasers, but once they understood my gender status just thought I was a hottie. Sex with guys like this has never involved my penis, hence it was more satisfactory to me.
Also, remember few of you want a trans girl unless she's absolutely passable. The vast majority of us are clockable as non-genetic females. Like ggs most of us are not raving beauties and we come in all shapes, sizes and colors. You guys that want to date ts women don't want to date an average looking girl–you want the model type. You then complain because they want the same things out of life that a gg model-type would want or expect. There are a lot of average looking tranny women out there who are lonely, but you guys would never seriously date, so I feel a little less bitchy criticizing you about often being less than tens yourselves.
Would I date a tranny Chaser? No. Like the poster Dmoreass, many of you are high HIV risks. I know, I'm the ex-whore, but I always insisted on condoms for every activity. Believe me, it drove some customers away, but I didn't care about that. I've had clients offer me more money to perform unprotected, but always refused. Mark my words: If a girl is practicing unprotected sex in anyway, there's probably a reason. Protect yourself and the provider: insist upon condoms even if she doesn't! There was one local girl who was full-blown AIDs, but continued to advertise on her webpage as "drug & disease free." Dmoreass should be worried. Another girl I know "married" a former tranny chaser. Turns out he couldn't stop bottoming and ended up going to the gay baths each day for lunch. He parked his ass in the sling until he was loaded with the HIV, which he of course passed on to his innocent wife. He's now dead and she's in the final stages of AIDS. Many of you have never lost friends from AIDS. In fact, one of my gay male friends is close to the end even now. I have seen and lost friends–it's real to me. Many tranny chasers are risk takers. I am/was not. That's one reason why I wouldn't date a tranny chaser.
Reason number two is that you guys want dick. We've already been over this territory, but to further expand... I don't want to use my dick. See, it just doesn't work between a trans woman and a tranny chaser. Every relationship, straight or gay needs a yin/yang. I see myself as the yang and don't need to be paired up with another yang! That's why so few straight ts women are able to stay with their female wives if they transition late in life. Moreover, many of the women (particularly in clubs) are hostile toward you guys because when they first come out, they mistakenly think you want them because of their femininity. But once they realize that it's about the dick, they become disillusioned and hostile. Also, a lot of the guys who pursue us are simply about sex and most of us seek love like any other human being.
Another thing I'd like to mention is that we are not all materialistic. Well, not any more materialistic than any other woman.(smile) Sure, I'd like the nice things in life. I'd like bmw, a immaculate house and first-class ward-robe. However, the guy I love is an honest blue collar worker. Still, I wouldn't trade him in for a richer model. I have a Gucci purse, but it's fake. I drive an average car, work a decent job and am now quite content. We aren't even necessarily expensive to keep. My bottle of injectivle hormones costs about $35 and lasts close to a year. Premarin costs about $28 a month. These days most insurance companies even cover the meds if not the final surgery. For female to male ts however, it is very expensive. The phalloplasty surgery is upwards of 40k and doesn't always 'take.' But for most of my sisters, it's not necessarily expensive anymore. Some of my sisters are more into luxury, but that's how some ggs are too. Really, I think most ts women are hopeless romantics–like any other woman. We would like a strong man (read: not a bottom!) to be our partner–one who understands us and accepts us as simply women: not a chick with a dick. So maybe I wouldn't date one of you guys because we are sexually incompatible. But I would be your friend.
To sum-up, that's why we seem unobtainable. I don't think you "admirers have a very good grasp of our community. It's not your fault. Your exposure to us is through porn and sordid stories in news--or of course Springer. However, a relationship with one of us would move to the beat of a different drummer than an escort experience where we provide fantasy fulfillment. If we take your cash, I believe we owe you guys the best that we can give. On the other hand, you guys have to realize that we are only human. For most of you guys, trans contact is something best left in the realm of fantasy fulfillment. Of course, these are only my opinions. However, I do know escorts in non-escorts throughout the nation in way that clients perhaps never would. So I think I do speak for a large segment of my community.
Finally, some tips to having a good session. Be clean & freshly showered. I always tried to be out freshly out of the shower. Douche if you are a big time bottom: try a throw-away enema. You can get the disposable ones for $1 a wahlmart. It's not perfect, but it often prevents unwanted mess. Make sure you have fresh breath!!! Negotiate what kind of experience you want upfront. A lot of guys are disapointeed when the girl doesn't satisfy him, but then he's never told her what he wants. Try to emphasize her femininity (even if you are going to bottom) and she'll respond better. One of my personal turn-offs was when guys would pay to much attention to my dick or talk about it excessively. Be safe.
I hope this helps and doesn't piss you all off too much.
Retired Pro.
I'm an ex-provider. I'm using a friend's account. I check in from time to time to see what's going on in this world. I think this forum has the potential to be great. It could protect both client and provider from harm by way of stds, muggings, etc. But I've been reading a lot of the posts-particularly the one by Iconoclast who asks if "t-girls are unobtainable." I've also read some of the reviews. While some seem fair and well-written, others are mean and hurtful. (Mine were always good, so I'm not bitter about that!) So I'd like to offer a providers point of view here. I'm going to be pretty blunt, and I hope no-one takes offense. I certainly intend to hurt no-one's feelings.
First, I don't think you guys understand transsexual women at all. First, most of us see ourselves not as "shemales" "trannies" or anything of that sort. I think of myself as essentially a woman–period. Shemales and other terms are appropriate here (SER) because they are in the realm of fantasy. What I mean here is that a gg stripper friend of mine once told me that she worked in the lines of fantasy fulfillment. I think that certainly describes the so-called Shemale escort scene. Essentially we provide homosexual contact for men who want the veneer of heterosexuality. Let's face it, the vast majority of you guys are really into us because we have a dick. That's just about the only thing that separates us from other women. For whatever reason, many tranny chasers (sorry that's the main term for your community at this point) seem to deny that they desire homosexual contact. On the other hand, most of the posts here (and reviews) emphasize how big a "girl's" genitalia is, how well it functions or if she is good at fucking men in the ass. Of my clientele, 95% were bottoms.
The problem is that most of us women see ourselves as women. In other words, none us are hard-wired to do the kind of job that you guys want done. You guys want us primarily for the part of our body that we are least comfortable about. In real life, I don't want a blow job. I get no pleasure from it, and it really bores me. My dick feels like concrete from the hormones, but I don't really care about that it being numb because I pretty much hate the fact that I have a dick! Moreover, I have never desired to penetrate a man's ass & since I'm retired sincerely hope that I never will have to again in my life. That said, I did & do appreciate the business when I was working. Again, I tried to do my best, although it didn't always work out. Sometimes it was just difficult trying to get an errection to do something I didn't really want to do. Every time I did it I felt a measure of repulsion. But I realized I was in the business of fantasy fulfillment, so I did my best all the time, for each client. There were times (particularly when it was a hairy ass: especially not my thing!) I was so repulsed I had a hard time keeping an erection. But I did my best. Remember, because this is a business relationship you don't get to pick and choose men. You have to take what comes across your door step. I've had 350 pound guys on their knees egging me on to '**** me like bitch!" It was hard to keep an errection (and to keep from laughing!) but I always did my best regardless. I tried to do it with grace and some sense of class and friendliness.
My sexuality is bisexual. Most tgs are bisexual and if you think about it, that makes a lot of sense. However, I prefer men. But I prefer men who are men–straight men who have no interest in my penis. I plan to loose it when I get the 15k (it's not $100,000s of dollars as one post mentioned) and move into life as genetically (well as much as possible) indistinguishable from any other woman. Not all of my sisters will go this route, but many if not most do. Even the ones who keep their penis have been pretty adamant about not particularly likeing the ‘topping' aspect of the work. But we tell you what you want to hear. It's our job.
I also like women and probably could enter in a long-term relationship with a tolerant lesbian. (I know of at least three top TS escorts who in their personal lives identify as lesbians.) But again, I would promise not to use my penis and we could have a fun lesbian relationship in other ways. Once you get estrogen flowing in your veins sex becomes less a pure physical act and more of a mental thing. I get off on sex (not through my estrogen deadened penis) because my man desires me, the intimacy, and the feeling of love it creates. Fantasy fulfillment doesn't offer those advantages because it's a business meeting between two consenting adults. But I tried to make my clients happy & leave satisfied.
Because I'm active in transgender politics, I know a tremendous amount of trans women both escorts and non-escorts. I've never heard of one who desires men as "bottoms" in their personal life. In fact, the terminology "top" and "bottom" has its origins in gay male sexual contact. If a ts woman were essentially satisfied by being a sexual "top" why would she take medications to deaden her penis & eventually have it inverted into a vagina? Because you are the paying client of the relationship, it is conducted according to your wishes, with our veto power of course. Therefore, when we go out and are approached by men who are "into" transsexuals, we are less than likely to give you the time of day. The kind of sex you desire is not what we like. In fact, we may even be repulsed because we know what you want. Still, that gives us no reason to be impolite or rude as I've seen many sisters do to an admirer. On the other hand, a lot of tranny chasers approach you with this opening line: "I'm straight–BUTT." It's the line we all dread to hear and can see right through. You want to have homosexual contact with us and not feel your heterosexuality challenger. Moreover, because their heterosexuaity probably felt challenged I've been in gay bars and had chasers insult my gay male friends, while trying to reaffirm their 'straight' nature. That's appalling behavior often spurs rudeness on the part of the ts woman. On the other hand, some admirers do admit to being bisexual and I have to say I respect guys like that a lot more. But I would no longer date a bisexual man.
Many of the posts complain about the looks of some of the escorts. Many of you guys are middle-age, balding, hairy and in less than superb physical shape. Most guys claim "average looking." That's ok. In fact, a couple of my ex-clients I now consider personal friends have these very same physical attributes. Now that I'm out of the business I would never have sex with them again, but I enjoy their conversation, etc. So I'm not being shallow here. But remember if you are going to a club and trying to hit on a trans woman who is a "ten" she's most likely looking for someone in her category regarding looks. I've been hit on by professional sports figures and have picked up extremely hot, built guys who were not tranny chasers, but once they understood my gender status just thought I was a hottie. Sex with guys like this has never involved my penis, hence it was more satisfactory to me.
Also, remember few of you want a trans girl unless she's absolutely passable. The vast majority of us are clockable as non-genetic females. Like ggs most of us are not raving beauties and we come in all shapes, sizes and colors. You guys that want to date ts women don't want to date an average looking girl–you want the model type. You then complain because they want the same things out of life that a gg model-type would want or expect. There are a lot of average looking tranny women out there who are lonely, but you guys would never seriously date, so I feel a little less bitchy criticizing you about often being less than tens yourselves.
Would I date a tranny Chaser? No. Like the poster Dmoreass, many of you are high HIV risks. I know, I'm the ex-whore, but I always insisted on condoms for every activity. Believe me, it drove some customers away, but I didn't care about that. I've had clients offer me more money to perform unprotected, but always refused. Mark my words: If a girl is practicing unprotected sex in anyway, there's probably a reason. Protect yourself and the provider: insist upon condoms even if she doesn't! There was one local girl who was full-blown AIDs, but continued to advertise on her webpage as "drug & disease free." Dmoreass should be worried. Another girl I know "married" a former tranny chaser. Turns out he couldn't stop bottoming and ended up going to the gay baths each day for lunch. He parked his ass in the sling until he was loaded with the HIV, which he of course passed on to his innocent wife. He's now dead and she's in the final stages of AIDS. Many of you have never lost friends from AIDS. In fact, one of my gay male friends is close to the end even now. I have seen and lost friends–it's real to me. Many tranny chasers are risk takers. I am/was not. That's one reason why I wouldn't date a tranny chaser.
Reason number two is that you guys want dick. We've already been over this territory, but to further expand... I don't want to use my dick. See, it just doesn't work between a trans woman and a tranny chaser. Every relationship, straight or gay needs a yin/yang. I see myself as the yang and don't need to be paired up with another yang! That's why so few straight ts women are able to stay with their female wives if they transition late in life. Moreover, many of the women (particularly in clubs) are hostile toward you guys because when they first come out, they mistakenly think you want them because of their femininity. But once they realize that it's about the dick, they become disillusioned and hostile. Also, a lot of the guys who pursue us are simply about sex and most of us seek love like any other human being.
Another thing I'd like to mention is that we are not all materialistic. Well, not any more materialistic than any other woman.(smile) Sure, I'd like the nice things in life. I'd like bmw, a immaculate house and first-class ward-robe. However, the guy I love is an honest blue collar worker. Still, I wouldn't trade him in for a richer model. I have a Gucci purse, but it's fake. I drive an average car, work a decent job and am now quite content. We aren't even necessarily expensive to keep. My bottle of injectivle hormones costs about $35 and lasts close to a year. Premarin costs about $28 a month. These days most insurance companies even cover the meds if not the final surgery. For female to male ts however, it is very expensive. The phalloplasty surgery is upwards of 40k and doesn't always 'take.' But for most of my sisters, it's not necessarily expensive anymore. Some of my sisters are more into luxury, but that's how some ggs are too. Really, I think most ts women are hopeless romantics–like any other woman. We would like a strong man (read: not a bottom!) to be our partner–one who understands us and accepts us as simply women: not a chick with a dick. So maybe I wouldn't date one of you guys because we are sexually incompatible. But I would be your friend.
To sum-up, that's why we seem unobtainable. I don't think you "admirers have a very good grasp of our community. It's not your fault. Your exposure to us is through porn and sordid stories in news--or of course Springer. However, a relationship with one of us would move to the beat of a different drummer than an escort experience where we provide fantasy fulfillment. If we take your cash, I believe we owe you guys the best that we can give. On the other hand, you guys have to realize that we are only human. For most of you guys, trans contact is something best left in the realm of fantasy fulfillment. Of course, these are only my opinions. However, I do know escorts in non-escorts throughout the nation in way that clients perhaps never would. So I think I do speak for a large segment of my community.
Finally, some tips to having a good session. Be clean & freshly showered. I always tried to be out freshly out of the shower. Douche if you are a big time bottom: try a throw-away enema. You can get the disposable ones for $1 a wahlmart. It's not perfect, but it often prevents unwanted mess. Make sure you have fresh breath!!! Negotiate what kind of experience you want upfront. A lot of guys are disapointeed when the girl doesn't satisfy him, but then he's never told her what he wants. Try to emphasize her femininity (even if you are going to bottom) and she'll respond better. One of my personal turn-offs was when guys would pay to much attention to my dick or talk about it excessively. Be safe.
I hope this helps and doesn't piss you all off too much.
Retired Pro.