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View Full Version : Before eating an ass, what tests must it pass


laoda8
11-21-2012, 10:29 PM
So you're about to get with a beautiful girl (transgendered or gg) or even guy, and you want to just furiously eat out their ass so you can get hard (a pre-requisite for me in most cases) You have them on the bed, on all fours, bent over. Their cheeks spread presenting their Love button. My question is what tests must pass before you eat their ass out?

For me it's pretty much 3 things


Not Too Hairy - I don't mind some hair, the texture is interesting, but there is a visible limit to how much I can tolerate. Also too much stuble isn't ideal either
Smells like clean ass - Now smelling perfect and smelling like a clean ass are two different things. There will always be an acceptable ass smell, even out the shower. I just want that smell to be that of a freshy washed asshole with some washing done a few inches below.
doesn't have weird bumps or markings - Yeah, not eating or fucking if you have unidentifiable scars, bumps, or any such thing.


http://www.shemalebuzz.com/Images/2007/04/shemale-ass-hole-2.jpg
GrimFusion
11-21-2012, 10:36 PM
You basically just covered it all.
Even where GG's are concerned, I usually always insist on a rim job before sticking my dick in her brown-eye. I like to pop my finger in her bum afterward as an excuse to loosen 'er up first, and while that is a concern, my real intention is pulling it out and inspecting for pooey bits. If they end up on my finger, I'll pass on painting my condom brown. That's neither here nor there though.
Wendy Summers
11-21-2012, 10:45 PM
If they gonna take a shit -- then I gotta quit.
LibertyHarkness
11-21-2012, 10:54 PM
Where is dino
laoda8
11-21-2012, 10:57 PM
I don't do the finger test, most times after I eat the ass I can sense that they went the extra mile. I will poke my finger in but not inspect it afterwards, but I will note the smell.

Strange things assholes are, it can be a paradise or fresh hell.
Wendy Summers
11-21-2012, 10:59 PM
Where is dino

working on his Opus after seeing the title of this thread.
Wendy Summers
11-21-2012, 11:00 PM
I don't do the finger test, most times after I eat the ass I can sense that they went the extra mile. I will poke my finger in but not inspect it afterwards, but I will note the smell.

Strange things assholes are, it can be a paradise or fresh hell.

I'd worry more if its not so fresh
MdR Dave
11-21-2012, 11:13 PM
It would have to be clean, belong to Keira Knightley and she would have to ask.

I can't think of another circumstance under which I would agree to this.

Ok, maybe Grimes, too ("Vanessa", "Oblivion".). I love that chick.
RallyCola
11-21-2012, 11:20 PM
it must be clean looking and smelling as well as waxed/shaven. when i'm going down, its easy to do a sniff test and visual inspection.
laoda8
11-21-2012, 11:42 PM
I would not eat Grimes' ass, she looks way too..."Liberated" for that sort of thing.
Kevin Dong
11-22-2012, 12:07 AM
no haemorrhoid, unprolapsed, doesn't look like Arnold kicked it in with a combat boot, pink
Dino Velvet
11-22-2012, 03:04 AM
Where is dino


working on his Opus after seeing the title of this thread.

Little last minute shopping and some prep work for tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

As far as a test all I need is to hear the splash then I'm strappin' on the feedbag.:salad

http://i614.photobucket.com/albums/tt221/My_Farts_Cause_Global_Warming/Dino2-1.gif
brickcitybrother
11-22-2012, 03:23 AM
Ummm... The OP pretty much covered it all. Though to be honest - it should be a lil bud and not look like its been punched a thousand times.
nysprod
11-22-2012, 04:56 AM
Idk...check the underwear for skidmarks, I guess...
danthepoetman
11-22-2012, 08:23 AM
Posted by Beaufont in 2011...
pantybulge69
11-22-2012, 12:28 PM
squeaky clean fresh,.. no sweaty crack-hairs, ,,very smooth/soft ,toned/shapely cheeks,..no deep dimples(oatmeal butt)scars,sores,,,,no huge,distracting tattoos.
Dino Velvet
11-22-2012, 08:12 PM
Idk...check the underwear for skidmarks, I guess...

Those coulda been from yesterday's britches. Better off with a scratch 'n' sniff.
giovanni_hotel
11-22-2012, 09:40 PM
I'm so shit phobic.:hide-1: It's the real downside to anal sex when you have a partner who doesn't have impeccable hygiene back there.

If I get a whiff of dooky or 'stains' on my dick, I've been known to step.
Dino Velvet
11-22-2012, 11:23 PM
Sometimes to make an omelet you need to find a little corn.
nysprod
11-23-2012, 01:32 AM
Those coulda been from yesterday's britches. Better off with a scratch 'n' sniff.

You mean scratch and sniff the skidmarks??
Dino Velvet
11-23-2012, 01:55 AM
You mean scratch and sniff the skidmarks??

Scratch her starfish. The Kobe Bryant lady from Colorado wore the same panties many days in a row with DNA from several fellas in 'em but rinsed her hooch out in the sink every so often so it wasn't too stanky when Kobe drove into the paint.
nysprod
11-23-2012, 01:58 AM
Scratch her starfish. The Kobe Bryant lady from Colorado wore the same panties many days in a row with DNA from several fellas in 'em but rinsed her hooch out in the sink every so often so it wasn't too stanky when Kobe drove into the paint.

I guess there's no way to avoid boldly going where many men have gone before...
mikelpo
11-23-2012, 02:14 AM
depends how pissed i am
hopefully i cant smell poop!
Dino Velvet
11-23-2012, 02:19 AM
depends how pissed i am
hopefully i cant smell poop!

Throw some curry in there. Over here we're good with jelly or syrup.

Look at the Midwestern housewife in the audience.

What is Tossing Salad ? - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2kVjuT2jqE)
LordRectum1
11-23-2012, 03:47 AM
About a week ago I topped a hot, sexy, beautiful, and well known escort that many on this board would know. Well, after topping her hard I pulled out a little mud on my helmet. The slight smell of a dirty ass so turns me on.
danthepoetman
11-23-2012, 05:01 AM
It will happen from time to time one way or the other; you have to be ready for that. You pump a rectum, after all. Great hygiene is wonderful, but still, accidents do happen. Not such a big deal to me... We’re all made alike and all have the same bodily functions.
nycguy1
11-23-2012, 05:44 AM
Originally Posted by Dino Velvet
Scratch her starfish. The Kobe Bryant lady from Colorado wore the same panties many days in a row with DNA from several fellas in 'em but rinsed her hooch out in the sink every so often so it wasn't too stanky when Kobe drove into the paint.

kobe's accuser was a generic blonde, katelyn faber. she had a solid payday at $20 million after all was said and done. not bad. she probably wished she got pregnant by him because paychecks would then come in steadily for the next 21 years.
OrlFla89
11-23-2012, 06:53 AM
I haven't eaten ass very much. There was one fine looking Asian trans woman I knew when I lived in Las Vegas who liked it. She was very hygenic and at first I was afraid of smelling shit or tasting shit. I didn't and actually found it enjoyable

I have topped several ts women and there was a little fudge on the condom afterwards. Although I don't like it, sometimes enemas can only do so much.
Quiet Reflections
11-23-2012, 08:24 AM
If it is clean then I'm game. As far as scars and bumps go it is case by case. A scar from an injury or a butt pimple I can deal with after all we are all human, but fresh wounds are a no go.
danthepoetman
11-23-2012, 10:19 AM
If it is clean then I'm game. As far as scars and bumps go it is case by case. A scar from an injury or a butt pimple I can deal with after all we are all human, but fresh wounds are a no go.
:iagree:
I think that pretty much sums it up with a lot of wisdom, Quiet Reflections.