How to meet TSes the proper manner

[Ceris893]

So I've been doing research on what people say is the best ways to go about meeting a Transwoman for a while. Simply, I've found that the most common advice is "Treat her like any other woman" which I agree with, as well as not bringing up sexual subjects until it has been established that doing so is OK. Anything else someone should know, in case I end up in the situation?

[onThaLow954]

Yeah post a face and dick pic on craigslit m4t and wait about an hour. Discuss sex on the first correspondence.

[Ceris893]

Okay, not helpful at all. Not into the whole escort thing. Sex is an accessory to a relationship, not the pinnacle

[Quiet Reflections]

use the search function this topic has be discussed many times already. You probably won't even have to go 10 pages deep to find a related thread. It is simple. If you don't want to go to a club or dating site your only real option is to keep your eyes open and hope for the best.

[onThaLow954]

Oh i didn't mean escorting. TG's that live full time under the radar and dont want people knowing they are often go there to pick up some strange but you probably wouldn't be interested, those girls just have their mind on one thing and it would just be a purely physically connection where you're bodies were together and nothing but lust sex and realizing that the reality was so much hotter than the fantasy.

As far as a full , meaningful relationship? No idea. Tranny support group maybe? Who knows.


Okay, not helpful at all. Not into the whole escort thing. Sex is an accessory to a relationship, not the pinnacle

[AlwaysAda]

i have yet to meet a guy that doesn't bring up sex within the first hour or so.

[Ceris893]

It's not to say its off the table, but, for instance, when I'm on a date I'm focused on making sure that I am presenting myself in the best possible way, showing I have class while not being pompous about it. For me, I don't even bring up sex until the conversation has become grounded. I could have sex on a first date, but as of today its never happened on the first, and I am more comfortable getting to know the other person without having to bring up sex until I've grounded the conversation. Even from there, I am not the type of guy to have sex then cut it off there.

But then again, I have never had the experience of a transwoman as a date or sex partner, or at least, none who let me know that was the case. Maybe its different, but I do not know. I'm openminded, but I'm also not a one night stand guy.

[ethereal]

I have often wondered the same thing about meeting men who want LTRs with TSes. I'm completely under the radar, not into the escort scene, not into gratuitous sex, and am contemplating whether or not to go through with GRS, and one of my considerations is whether it would be possible to meet such a man. If it would be possible, I'm far less likely to undergo surgery because I don't like surgery. The various forums and Craigslist seem dominated by people seeking sex primarily, and there is nothing wrong with that, it's just not for me. But there isn't even a M4T or T4M friendship/platonic section in Craigslist, while there are M4F and F4M friendship/platonic sections. And friendship is how relationships should start, IMHO.

I have friends who have undergone GRS and met straight men who are 'okay' with their past. But in the ideal world, I would be able to meet someone who is not only 'okay' with my past, but appreciative of all aspects of me.

[Ceris893]

As a guy, I am definitely in the minority. I'm not particularly fascinated by transwomen, but considering that:

A. They choose to be women
B. They generally know some form of ostracising, similar to myself.

I have concluded that I have a fair of getting along well with them.

@ethreal
Considering that current vaginoplasty techniques arent perfect and require maintenance, I think that transwomen are better off keeping their original genitalia until they're ready to take that step. I have had a unique conversation with a transwoman once, she has lived as a woman for close to six years, five on HRT and 3 with an orchiectomy, and she told me she'd rather wait until current medical techniques improve enough for SRS. That hasn't stopped her from preparing, such as electrolysis of the scrotum, in the event she becomes ready. She said one reason she did not want to undergo it, however, was because of the dilating, cleaning and post operative recovery.

[rodinuk]

Anything else someone should know, in case I end up in the situation?

Sounds like it's on a list of what should I do in case of.....emergency? situations :D

[Ceris893]

Sounds like it's on a list of what should I do in case of.....emergency? situations :D

Come on! I'd sipped a bit of beer before writing taht one lol

[Tyler___Durden]

You got lucky, generically anyway coz I saw your OP
{I've posted this on other boards} and this will help:

Dating a transsexual woman.
A lot of threads both on this and other sites, talk of the difficulty men face
trying to meet and maybe date a attractive pre-op transsexual female.
This being anything from casual fun through
to a long term / permanent relationship.

The following are my own personal thoughts on the matter,
and as such are certainly not the complete story.
I hope other Ts women and those men who are in relationships with us
contribute their own thoughts and experiences.

Before we look at trans-dating,
may I take you out of trans-land and into cis-gendered land?
Think of that stunning “Day-One” woman on this months cover of Rustler magazine?
You'd like to date her yes?
Now look at EVERY WOMEN YOU ENCOUNTER during the course of your typical day.
How many of them could be a hot top model? Probably frak all.

See the fabulous trans-women on here and other sites?
Well firstly, most trans don't look anything like that.
We actually cover the full spectrum of appearance,
just as “Day-One” women do.
Old, young, fat, thin, ugly, beautiful, average, (actually, a lot of average )
Plus the big deal-killer for most men:
We will have some remaining male characteristics.
Obviously this will vary hugely in obviousness from trans person to transperson,
but there is always something.
Oh, just say you did date one of the top trans models.
You ok with her plucking prickly hair from her jaw line, some mornings?
Just asking.

Right you guys, here are some of the hard facts about us.
Transsexual females are very rare.
I think numbers come in at around one in six thousand people.
Oh, that's for both pre and post op transsexual females-
Of all ages and looks.
So the chances of you meeting any transsexual female, pre or post op
are pretty rare.
Factor in your Trans-date wish-list (in no particular order)

We Pass
{can you handle your family / friends / work colleagues knowing 'That thing'?}
This objectifies us in itself, but I'll come back to that later.
Very few trans women truly pass (as in 98%+ of the time)
We Look attractive / very attractive
We are single
And open to the possibility of an “interaction”, from casual date to a lifetime partner

My friend, you are looking at a very tiny demographic of people you would consider dating.

Trans porn is a fabricated fantasy.
In real life we have bad hair days, sometimes our skin is yuk.
Oh & when we go to bed, most of the time we wear flannel snuggy pants and tops and woolen socks.
The sussys are for shoots or a special treat for our partner.
And partner....A high % of trans women identify as gay.
That means for a lot of trans-women, unless you are female, it's just not gonna happen!

Next,
What exactly are you looking for?
“I want to date a hot shemale”
Well the first thing is that your sentence seems to show a full intent of
sexually objectifying us rather than looking upon us as people.

Now early transitioners are cool about that. It's a validation thing.
“You're a straight guy, you want to fuck me”
“Therefore, I must be a woman”
After a while we get an internal self assurance and then neither want or seek a validation fuck.
That means your desire for us, on it's own, is meaningless..
{We get lots and lots of interested men, all the time}

So, what are you bringing to the party?
I'd think about your appearance and social approach.
Be interesting and engaging.

Having a transsexual history for most of us is not something we are particularly happy about.
A suitor wanting to date us specifically because of that very thing we generally loath about ourselves,
is just not a good thing.
{It's a bit like you saying:”You suffer from deep suicidal depression, I like that in a woman, lets date”}
We see ourselves as female, which of course we are.
It would be nice if a person wishes to date us for who we are as a person rather than because we are trans.
A while back, a good ts friend of mine {you may know her from some of her porn shoot pics on this site & others}
played with the idea of de-transition, becoming a man again.
I asked her {straight identifying} male partner of five years,
what would happen to their relationship?
He replied that he then would simply be in a gay male relationship.
I asked my man the same question. He gave the same answer.
How many of you men could give that answer?
(That's slightly unfair as a question, for you the reader, who are just exploring the possibility of trans-dating; but bear it in mind)

Finally, Transsexual. Spot the first bit of the word.
This means we are in transition. What you see may well be what you get, initially.
But I guarantee you now that, six/eighteen/60 months on
and this person may well only vaguely be like the person you first met.
And will you be ok about dating a person, where that person rapidly changes in lots of ways.
It really is very difficult for the man.

And the penis.
Are you really only want to date us because we are a female with a penis?
Most of us will have Sex Reassignment Surgery SRS.
Will you stay with us?
Or was it in the end, only about our cock?

I've posted this several times before.
It's a personal insight from both my male partner
and my my own.

How do you actually get to meet a transsexual woman?

Most Transsexual women meet partners who know our history.
Maybe they knew us before we transitioned.
Maybe they “read” us
Maybe through work, where gossip outed us.
Though we mostly meet though trans friendly spaces:
be it a Tg forum /chat room,
trans club/bar,
or from a group of friends and friends of friends...where the suitor had the heads-up on our past,
or they used to date a friend of ours who is also a Transsexual woman...
And so on.

My man said the easiest way to date a Transsexual woman, is to interact with us on trans boards.
Post on areas of common interest. Avoid sex topics.
See if you click.
Assess which Transsexual women are slightly deranged
and which are very deranged
(Accept that to a degree we are all bonkers)
And private message anyone you find interesting.
Later, suggest phone / social contact.
If later, things move on to friendship and then romance,cool.
My man wooed me for six months after our first meeting before I relented.


Oh, be prepared to put lots of time and £ or $:
Think flights, hotels, food, car rental
Because of our rarity, you will probably have to put a lot of effort into travel and resulting costs.
My man lives several hundred miles from me,
Yep, he had to go that far just to meet for an afternoon, to see if we would be friends.
Will you make that sort of effort?

[Ceris893]

Well I can tell you that I never go after a woman purely b/c of what she looks like. Nor do I watch transporn. And i am fully aware fo the statistics, but considering how much media coverage it has received in the last five years, a person tends to forget that. I just have had some very meaningful conversations with the LGBT community, and since the "T" in the community is oft the least desirable/least supported, I made a decision to educate myself about the community.

To be clear, chances are I will never date a transwoman, only due to their relative statistical rarity, but, being a realist you can't outrule possibilities no matter how small. And no, I would'nt be attracted to a transwoman based on whether or not she had a penis. But in the case I began a relationship with someone who has not undergone SRS but they plan to, I'm not type of person to cut it off from there. But honestly, I think sex wise the a pre op transwoman would not be as enjoyable as a post op or natal woman, considering I identify as heterosexual and, since I'm not Stu from the Hangover 2, its very unlikely I would want it in the ass. As I said, sex is a secondary part of a relationship for me, not the keystone.

To be fair, as well, If I was dating someone who decided to de transition I think I would have to think it over carefully before I went ahead with it, as I'm not very keen on being labeled gay- lets face it, I have my own preferences as a male. I don't require an extremely attractive woman to please me, but I do desire some level of a person's self-responsibility, i.e. they keep themselves healthy, they take care of their bodies etc. I'm not sure many people here would be okay with a partner who sat around, ate junk food, didn't groom themselves and lacked any form of self-responsibility. That said, I don't need someone who looks movie-ready every minute fo every day..

[nina_lisa]

I made a decision to educate myself about the community.

To be clear, chances are I will never date a transwoman, only due to their relative statistical rarity, but, being a realist you can't outrule possibilities no matter how small. .

educating yourself already put you ahead of 95% of people wanting to date a ts girl.


But in the case I began a relationship with someone who has not undergone SRS but they plan to, I'm not type of person to cut it off from there. But honestly, I think sex wise the a pre op transwoman would not be as enjoyable as a post op or natal woman, considering I identify as heterosexual and, since I'm not Stu from the Hangover 2, its very unlikely I would want it in the ass..

To be honest there isn't many chances a ts woman would want to stick it in a man ass.

[onThaLow954]

To be honest there isn't many chances a ts woman would want to stick it in a man ass.

Brutally honest. QFT.

[FreddieGomez]

educating yourself already put you ahead of 95% of people wanting to date a ts girl.



To be honest there isn't many chances a ts woman would want to stick it in a man ass.


I thought they all enjoyed it and according to most dude's on this forum that's all they're looking for?

[jamiethewild]

Yeah post a face and dick pic on craigslit m4t and wait about an hour. Discuss sex on the first correspondence.

bitch lay low , stop discouraging this guy . this guy is asking to meet a ts like he would with a genetic woman , hey just because your a piece of shit doesn't mean every guy thinks like you there's a few men out there that want something serious with a transgender woman . You got your avenue he wants his in normal way . Finding someone in cl is NOT a serious and normal way to start a relationship in most cases because it started with sex and ended with sex it was nothing but sex so learn to give the right advices to the right people. :loser:

[jamiethewild]

I thought they all enjoyed it and according to most dude's on this forum that's all they're looking for?

thats what they fantasied and want to think , i hate bottoms fucken bitches in bed ewwwww seeing an ass in my face is a digust and i look at him like a abomination worthless man lol

[nina_lisa]

I thought they all enjoyed it and according to most dude's on this forum that's all they're looking for?

many dude on this forum live in a fantasy world. What every you are smoking keep smoking, but i don't want to smoke the same thing.

[Ceris893]

bitch lay low , stop discouraging this guy . this guy is asking to meet a ts like he would with a genetic woman , hey just because your a piece of shit doesn't mean every guy thinks like you there's a few men out there that want something serious with a transgender woman . You got your avenue he wants his in normal way . Finding someone in cl is NOT a serious and normal way to start a relationship in most cases because it started with sex and ended with sex it was nothing but sex so learn to give the right advices to the right people. :loser:

Exactly. Like the relationship i just got out of, I met her online but normally. We chatted, shared information and determined that it would be cool to go on a date. I took her out to a fine restaurant and acted very calmly. It was only on the way I took her home that she mentioned sex. I told her to sleep on it, she did. Two days later, we went out on another date, this time to ice cream and then she decided to stay at my apartment. You can infer what happened from there, but out relationship was built on mutual feeling, not sex. And thats the point I am trying to get across. Being open minded as I am I am not going to turn a girl away because of circumstances she had no control over.

[onThaLow954]

Yeah, he said that immediately after my first post in this thread, but good catch. If my advice is good is another thing that is subjective (dependant on who perceives or "sees" it). My advice will always be good to me since it is by virtue the best coarse of action in my opinion.

That being said I'm pretty confident that for those in my shoes it is extremely good beginner advice. It's simple, you want to fuck for free post on cl, you want to get fucked in yer ass you pay. Long term dating, god I'll admit - I'm clueless on the subject.

QUOTE=jamiethewild;1189827]bitch lay low , stop discouraging this guy . this guy is asking to meet a ts like he would with a genetic woman , hey just because your a piece of shit doesn't mean every guy thinks like you there's a few men out there that want something serious with a transgender woman . You got your avenue he wants his in normal way . Finding someone in cl is NOT a serious and normal way to start a relationship in most cases because it started with sex and ended with sex it was nothing but sex so learn to give the right advices to the right people. :loser:[/QUOTE]

[jamiethewild]

[QUOTE=onThaLow954;1189842]Yeah, he said that immediately after my first post in this thread, but good catch. If my advice is good is another thing that is subjective (dependant on who perceives or "sees" it). My advice will always be good to me since it is by virtue the best coarse of action in my opinion.

That being said I'm pretty confident that for those in my shoes it is extremely good beginner advice. It's simple, you want to fuck for free post on cl, you want to get fucked in yer ass you pay. Long term dating, god I'll admit - I'm clueless on the subject."





Like i said its your opinion your avenue , your advice actually had no room in this thread unless its a tread that said " Where to look for fuck and go home after thread " .....move on . once again learn to give the right advices as a advice from me ... kinda get a feeling this guy that started the thread is an educated one.

[jamiethewild]

Exactly. Like the relationship i just got out of, I met her online but normally. We chatted, shared information and determined that it would be cool to go on a date. I took her out to a fine restaurant and acted very calmly. It was only on the way I took her home that she mentioned sex. I told her to sleep on it, she did. Two days later, we went out on another date, this time to ice cream and then she decided to stay at my apartment. You can infer what happened from there, but out relationship was built on mutual feeling, not sex. And thats the point I am trying to get across. Being open minded as I am I am not going to turn a girl away because of circumstances she had no control over.



Well thats a cute experience . Finding a trans-woman in normal avenues can be challenging if she's very passable to society unless friends through friends is one , online dating site can be a tricky one because some guys all they want is sex . Temptations can happen but i have to say some ts's dont know how to control their sexual urges and in most cases end up giving a bad impression .
I myself i just escort so am not into dating at the moment because its either one or the other i can't do both , it can be challenging . best of luck to you.;):kiss:

[Tyler___Durden]

To be honest there isn't many chances a ts woman would want to stick it in a man ass.


I thought they all enjoyed it and according to most dude's on this forum that's all they're looking for?
Fantasy vs reality. HA is a porn board where posts are sexual in content.
That's fine but you need to remember that sex is only part of a relationship
and a lot of us are sex workers which puts another slant on our posts.
Sex with clients, on cam or on a DVD is very different from our day to day lives.
Also Our PSE (porn star experience) with a client pales
when compared to say, the basic missionary position sex with our partner.
Most Pre-op ts women do not want to fuck men in the ass.
(That's anecdotal in conversations with other ts women and posts from same)
Oh, I've a friend who escorts and does like to fuck men in the ass.
It's really down to the person.

Anyway, whether they are into it or not, most pre-op ts women loose most/all erectile function after a couple of years on Hormone Replacement Therapy HRT. Sex working ts women often minimise this HRT effect by cycling the hormones:
Two months use then two months off HRT and / or having testosterone injections or patches.
Doing this also makes the HRT less effective in feminising their bodies. It slows down the changes.

Freddie, I've seen your name mentioned a lot in various threads
in shall we say, a less than fond way. Pleased to meet you my good man. :)

[Ceris893]

[QUOTE=onThaLow954;1189842]Yeah, he said that immediately after my first post in this thread, but good catch. If my advice is good is another thing that is subjective (dependant on who perceives or "sees" it). My advice will always be good to me since it is by virtue the best coarse of action in my opinion.

That being said I'm pretty confident that for those in my shoes it is extremely good beginner advice. It's simple, you want to fuck for free post on cl, you want to get fucked in yer ass you pay. Long term dating, god I'll admit - I'm clueless on the subject."





Like i said its your opinion your avenue , your advice actually had no room in this thread unless its a tread that said " Where to look for fuck and go home after thread " .....move on . once again learn to give the right advices as a advice from me ... kinda get a feeling this guy that started the thread is an educated one.

Well Jamie you did guess right! I'm a college graduate, and I have met many kinds of people in my travels, so I have a good tolerance for people's lifestyle choices. And considering I was raised in the middle of an affair, I don't take sex too lightly. I always use a rubber, as should any decent guy.

[Lovecox]

Although the ruse of acting sensitive in order to get laid does not appear in written history until the time of Giovanni Bocaccio’s and Chaucer, it is the consensus among anthropologists that this ploy was in use as early as Cro Magnon times when lesser males had to compete with the more honest and straight forward methods of the alpha males. It is also believed that the term “getting some tail” began at this time as the prehensile tails of their recent ancestors was still in their collective memory.

[onThaLow954]

Yeah, 'round here we just call them ducks.



Although the ruse of acting sensitive in order to get laid does not appear in written history until the time of Giovanni Bocaccio’s and Chaucer, it is the consensus among anthropologists that this ploy was in use as early as Cro Magnon times when lesser males had to compete with the more honest and straight forward methods of the alpha males. It is also believed that the term “getting some tail” began at this time as the prehensile tails of their recent ancestors was still in their collective memory.

[LittleGuy]

Why do these men think ts want to date them. They hate men. Wave a few "roses" in their face and you can fuck all of them.