So an ex of mine detransitioned... question?

[Wendy Summers]

I found out last night one of my exes detransitioned.

Should I now change my pronoun usage when discussing events in the past which involved him?

[giovanni_hotel]

Did this person explain why they switched back??

[Nikka]

was your ex a tgirl? I am confused

[Wendy Summers]

Did this person explain why they switched back??

No, but I'll go with what her (his) mom said to her (him) when I broke up with (her) him: "You'll never manage to do this without Wendy"


was your ex a tgirl? I am confused

Apparently so is (s)he...


So the story goes like this:

A few years back I was dating an in-transition transwoman (now bisexual man?) (for simplicity's sake mistake #1). I let her (him) move in (mistake #2). She (now he) goes full-time while living with me (apparently her (his) mistake #whothefuckcares).

I break up with her (him) (Right choice #1,876,297,282), throw her (his) ass out, and (s)he moves in with a friend. Friend dies. At some point after that, he detransitions.

Quite frankly I don't know the details nor do I care. I just wanna know what pronouns are most respectful.

[allurstouse]

Does the act of transitioning define gender? I thought it was the brain. I have decent knoewledge of sexuality and knw shit about gender issues but....and this may be bs maybe sometimes m or f is not a proper label for some and blending is? I would think that a real hard state to exist in and be at peace. You could always just stick to the first letter of a name and leave nothing to risk. Like you said how could you know w/o talking? This threw me off I was awiting to read about pie or something

[tommy001]

I hate hearing that word detransitioned

[SammiValentine]

No, but I'll go with what her (his) mom said to her (him) when I broke up with (her) him: "You'll never manage to do this without Wendy"



Apparently so is (s)he...


So the story goes like this:

A few years back I was dating an in-transition transwoman (now bisexual man?) (for simplicity's sake mistake #1). I let her (him) move in (mistake #2). She (now he) goes full-time while living with me (apparently her (his) mistake #whothefuckcares).

I break up with her (him) (Right choice #1,876,297,282), throw her (his) ass out, and (s)he moves in with a friend. Friend dies. At some point after that, he detransitions.

Quite frankly I don't know the details nor do I care. I just wanna know what pronouns are most respectful.

If it doesnt cause hassle then just ask said person, I would say whatever pronoun he/she would prefer you to use now when reflecting on memories, thats her/his choice and you show respect by using even it if you do not agree or care. :)

[tommy001]

did that detransitioned word ever cross the minds of any girl here?

[Wendy Summers]

Does the act of transitioning define gender? I thought it was the brain. I have decent knoewledge of sexuality and knw shit about gender issues but....and this may be bs maybe sometimes m or f is not a proper label for some and blending is? I would think that a real hard state to exist in and be at peace. You could always just stick to the first letter of a name and leave nothing to risk. Like you said how could you know w/o talking? This threw me off I was awiting to read about pie or something

No brain usually does. I just don't know what the brain of this person is anymore lol.


I hate hearing that word detransitioned

did that detransitioned word ever cross the minds of any girl here?

In this case I suspect this was less about her actually being trans and more about her own lack of internal strength. But I have no idea what's gone on with her over the past few years so maybe there are other reasons.


If it doesnt cause hassle then just ask said person, I would say whatever pronoun he/she would prefer you to use now when reflecting on memories, thats her/his choice and you show respect by using even it if you do not agree or care. :)

Yeah, so not talking to him... lol

[KittyPride]

No, but I'll go with what her (his) mom said to her (him) when I broke up with (her) him: "You'll never manage to do this without Wendy"



Apparently so is (s)he...


So the story goes like this:

A few years back I was dating an in-transition transwoman (now bisexual man?) (for simplicity's sake mistake #1). I let her (him) move in (mistake #2). She (now he) goes full-time while living with me (apparently her (his) mistake #whothefuckcares).

I break up with her (him) (Right choice #1,876,297,282), throw her (his) ass out, and (s)he moves in with a friend. Friend dies. At some point after that, he detransitions.

Quite frankly I don't know the details nor do I care. I just wanna know what pronouns are most respectful.

I was friends with someone post op that detransitioned back to male... Its quite suprising that I myself am now confronted with how hard it really is to change pronouns lol... I still think of him as a her.

That was a good lesson.

[Wendy Summers]

how hard it really is to change pronouns lol..
That was a good lesson.

Remember this next time someone calls you a guy.

[SammiValentine]

Remember this next time someone calls you a guy.

Such a great point, often lost on many however....

[KittyPride]

did that detransitioned word ever cross the minds of any girl here?

No not ever.... I rather live like a very unpassable TV TS then as male...if I had to choose.
Living as a male is way way way harder for me.

Life became easier for me when I transitioned... Even at the times when I did not pass... merely communicating to others that I am no ordinairy male gave me big relief.

However If I have to be a man.... I would want to be the man I am today. Very Feminine! I found myself :dancing::party:
I know that sounds odd... and people see me as a woman... At least I have totally become myself... and I love it!

[maddygirl]

Never. I've always been a girl, I'll always be a girl. But, that's just me.

[Jericho]

If they're memories, I'd use the pronoun of what s/he was at the time. :shrug

[Wendy Summers]

If they're memories, I'd use the pronoun of what s/he was at the time. :shrug

well "that ass" is gender neutral... :dancing:

[Nicole Dupre]

Did this person have any real therapy before transitioning? Why do so many transbians never follow through? Why do they even bother? Boredom? You have to wonder what motivated them in the first place.

Do you think this person had genuine GID or were they just a confused pervert with nothing to lose?

[Jericho]

well "that ass" is gender neutral... :dancing:


Can't argue with that! :ignore:

[Nicole Dupre]

I'd use male pronouns if they live as male btw.

[Wendy Summers]

Did this person have any real therapy before transitioning? Why do so many transbians never follow through? Why do they even bother? Boredom? You have to wonder what motivated them in the first place.

Do you think this person had genuine GID or were they just a confused pervert with nothing to lose?

Yes - this person had real therapy and I'm fairly certain, in my non-professional opinion, my ex had GID. I know nothing of my ex's life after our breakup, nor do I really care, but based on what I knew, I'd suspect she lacked the internal strength to deal with the challenges inherent in transitioning.

[SammiValentine]

If they're memories, I'd use the pronoun of what s/he was at the time. :shrug

If its all about respect and memories, then yes id use the pronoun of what she/he preffered at the time, could also make reminiscing a bit easier when talking to others, without a history lesson :D.

If he/she is now a fella and your talking realtime then you say what you see, mr chips!

ooo naughty mr chips - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7GEPTRTNhE)

[Wendy Summers]

If its all about respect and memories, then yes id use the pronoun of what she/he preffered at the time, could also make reminiscing a bit easier when talking to others, without a history lesson :D.

True but what about the comedy lost? :geek:

[SammiValentine]

I wouldnt worry about it, being lost is great for salvation, when your saved those nipples are that much more erect.

p.s i forget most of yous arent british, i am sorry. vauge explanation it was a old british gameshow, mr chips the character, the show was called catchphrase, say what you see ...................... and that clip is amusing if you add the lil pieces together and it relates to say what you see/feel realtime but memories and respect are a different equation in my little peahead, but I am over it now and I am sniffing my own panties while i brew up..... so hasta la vista baby x

[Nicole Dupre]

Yes - this person had real therapy and I'm fairly certain, in my non-professional opinion, my ex had GID. I know nothing of my ex's life after our breakup, nor do I really care, but based on what I knew, I'd suspect she lacked the internal strength to deal with the challenges inherent in transitioning.
Then that's just sad. But I wouldn't bother staying in touch. It's often complicated enough maintaining communication with an ex. But if you're happily transitioned and they're not, you're opening a can of worms for yourself. Personally I couldn't deal with that. I'd just just wish them luck and move forward with your life.

[Wendy Summers]

Then that's just sad. But I wouldn't bother staying in touch. It's often complicated enough maintaining communication with an ex. But if you're happily transitioned and they're not, you're opening a can of worms for yourself. Personally I couldn't deal with that. I'd just just wish them luck and move forward with your life.

Lolz I have zero interest in communication with him.

Honestly, I'm not one of the batshit crazy transwomen you are used to dealing with.

I'm a whole new flavor of crazy. :dancing:

[SammiValentine]

True but what about the comedy lost? :geek:

omg i read that wrong. lol still a bit wired off anesthtics from surgery i think? ok i lie I am just a moron. True comedy gold value in explaining parts of your life so strangers, makes me LOL, especially if they dont even speak english proper and you have to make like actions an act things out. All round good old fashioned LOLs.

[Wendy Summers]

omg i read that wrong. lol still a bit wired off anesthtics from surgery i think? ok i lie I am just a moron. True comedy gold value in explaining parts of your life so strangers, makes me LOL, especially if they dont even speak english proper and you have to make like actions an act things out. All round good old fashioned LOLs.

Personally I dig guys from the middle East who barely speak English and beg to see my "Puuuusy!"

Explaining I have a cock is a laugh riot.

[SammiValentine]

Personally I dig guys from the middle East who barely speak English and beg to see my "Puuuusy!"

Explaining I have a cock is a laugh riot.

wahahaahahahhaa oh yes that is fun :D