I need balls...

[dakilla]

Lol, unlike the title would suggest, i need figurative balls, courage, outgoing-ness, anything. I been in love with Trannys for years now, but i never have the balls to go and find one or meet one, although its all thats on my mind in reality. I guess it may be because my friends have no idea about my interest and I have no one to go out with to look for these girls. Im not ashamed by no means about my interest in trannys, but my friends are not the understanding type and would judge me quiet harshly (i know it seems counter intuitive to friendship). So i dont know what to do? How did all you (guys) act upon your desires? Did u tell people? Get friends who also like TS's? Do stuff strictly online? I need some help. I mean i think i have a lot to offer a ts, im young, in law school, have my head on straight, and i think im a good looking guy lol, its just i cant get past that barrier to meet a ts. I would love to go to like Allanah starrs party in the city or even any place to meet girls, but id feel really awkward showing up by myself. I think I would feel really out of place and just odd. Anyway... what does everyone think? Any advice, words or wisdom, or criticisms lol.

sorry bout the long, ranting post, but if anyone could help, its the people here. thanks everyone!!!

-steve

[Gus The Dagger]

:D

[Cat]

Do you see yourself having a long-term relationship with one?

[DJ_Asia]

Yeah sprout a sack my friend!

you can live your life pleasing others or you can live your life pleasing you.

Pass up on it and one day you will find yourself married with kids,mortgage,car payments and will probably end up sneaking off to hook up with a TS to satisfy your long desired needs...your wife will find out,divorce you and take you for every penny that law school earned you.

Relax and go enjoy what you like...its not weird,its not against the law,and the only person you are hurting is yourself by not going through with it.

And BTW why u hanging out with such uptight narrowminded friends? you seem like a cool guy...why allow your friends to dictate your life for you?!?

DJ Asia

[Dkg]

Alcohol is your best frined.
No seriously, if you ever get the balls to go to NYC (or Miami) for a trip, say spring break or something, just find out where the hot spots are (before you actually go) and then just drink a couple beer/wine coolers/whatever the hell you drink with alcohol in it before you go. This is not to get drunk but to help you relax, and just go. I'm sure you'll become more talkative and outgoing once you're a bit more relaxed.

Also, make sure that you smell good, guys who smell good are usually a turn on for women. Tag has been real good to me

but yea, I know what you're going through because I'm in the exact same situation. Except that I'm still in college.

[InHouston]

Lol, unlike the title would suggest, i need figurative balls, courage, outgoing-ness, anything. I been in love with Trannys for years now, but i never have the balls to go and find one or meet one, although its all thats on my mind in reality. I guess it may be because my friends have no idea about my interest and I have no one to go out with to look for these girls. Im not ashamed by no means about my interest in trannys, but my friends are not the understanding type and would judge me quiet harshly (i know it seems counter intuitive to friendship). So i dont know what to do? How did all you (guys) act upon your desires? Did u tell people? Get friends who also like TS's? Do stuff strictly online? I need some help. I mean i think i have a lot to offer a ts, im young, in law school, have my head on straight, and i think im a good looking guy lol, its just i cant get past that barrier to meet a ts. I would love to go to like Allanah starrs party in the city or even any place to meet girls, but id feel really awkward showing up by myself. I think I would feel really out of place and just odd. Anyway... what does everyone think? Any advice, words or wisdom, or criticisms lol.

sorry bout the long, ranting post, but if anyone could help, its the people here. thanks everyone!!!

-steve

:2cent Well here’s a long post in response, and hope this helps.

I understand your sentiments perfectly. In my opinion, this really has nothing to do with courage or the lack thereof. In this country it would suit you well at your age to keep this desire of yours as arcane as possible. By that I mean, don’t share it with those who have not been initiated to it yet. It is a desire that most males would not understand without discovering it (and nurturing it) themselves. For those who haven’t, it’s a realm that is considered taboo and unthinkable. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend revealing your desires to your friends. You stand too great a risk of being shunned, or possibly beat up if the word got out (and it will) to others males in your immediate circles. I have one friend who would be absolutely understanding about this interest, and would no doubt be curious enough to go with me and indulge himself. That’s a good thing right? Well not necessarily, I can’t trust him to keep it to himself. He talks too much and craves being the center of attention a bit too much to confide in him. Imagine you revealing this to one or more of your friends, and then you have a falling out with one of them. Now this person has dirt on you and could one day bluster “Yeah well you like transvestites you fucking faggot!” right in front of your friends. People are prone to slice and dice you in any way they can when there’s strife. Or, you could be trying to woo a pretty young girl you like, only to find that she tells you “Your friend told me that you screw around with transsexuals. You’re probably gay and just can’t face it and for that matter that’s weird, I’m not into that, and I don’t want to catch AIDS or anything.” See what I mean? And girls can carry and pass HIV just as well as any other gender, even more so due to regular menstruation. But, that kind of rational, judgment, stigma, and stereotyping is just too risky, and imagine the awkward position you would find yourself in as a young man. These are just some of the consequences I foresee that have kept me from telling my friends.

My personal opinion, and advice; you’re obviously more liberated in your thinking and sexual desires, and this is not a common trait in most people, and is not easily tolerated by most people. You can attribute your desire as a consequence of “higher thinking” and “deeper curiosity” that most people would not even attempt to approach, fathom, or understand … or pretend to for that matter. By that I mean most heterosexual males, when void of their sexual inhibitions, would find attractive shemales sexually viable. However, their socially-conditioned inhibitions and “fear of judgment” will cause them to rally against you to secure their social standing. Remember, (with most people) how one stands socially amongst their peers is monumental in their mind, and they will defend it to the hilt; even at your own expense and/or downfall. On the contrary, someone who would sacrifice such vanity for the sake of “understanding and friendship” is someone worthy of a “true friend”, but such altruism in people is rare. To put it simply, I think it’s safest to keep it to yourself. In telling your friends remember, you go down that road, there’s no turning back.

I’ve been tempted on many occasions to tell a friend or two. Well … case in point, I sent a picture of a hot shemale from Hung Angels (with genitals concealed) to a friend of mine. The picture looked deceptively like a hot naked chick. When he replied back on how fine she was I asked “Now can you believe that’s a guy?” I continued (regrettably) “Maybe some time I might get shit-faced drunk and butt fuck a hot shemale one day” to bait him on his opinion. He wrote back, “Dude you can’t be fucking serious? Personally I think that’s fucked up. I think we should just leave it at that.” His stance on the matter was obvious, but what struck me even more was how brief his response was. His brevity said more than the length of his response, and was a clear indicator that I had just stepped upon detrimental ground where our friendship is concerned. I just said to myself “I’m gonna drop this now before it gets any worse.” You don’t want those kinds of sentiments surfacing in your circle of young, somewhat mature and secure, and ostensibly “absolutely-hetero male” friends.

There are places in my city where hot TG’s hang out, and I’ve yet to go inside myself; first and foremost because I would feel awkward. But I had to question as to where that awkward sense was stemming from. What I reasoned is that it really stems from a fear of being seen by someone who knows me, and really nothing more than that. I understand perfectly what I’m up to. If I could look into a crystal ball and see the future, and knew for certain that I could go for a night and no one I knew would see me at all, I would hit as many of those places as I could, and explore the veritable bounty of hot TG’s in my city, and have an enraptured blast of a time doing it. But … but … there is a glint of an indication in my mind that some night, I’ll probably say “Oh fuck it” and go in. For now … no. There is this little oracle in my head that foresees the day when I’m confronted by a friend, acquaintance, or colleague who says, “I could be wrong (a formulaic intro to an incriminating charge) … I could have sworn I saw you go into that ‘place’ Saturday night.” Yikes! I would deny it to the hilt, but the little oracle in my head foresees the expression on their face; they don’t believe me. You know, in spite of your most earnest denial to someone, that face revealing they still don’t believe you -- even if they can’t prove it. Now they know. Oh boy. You’ve been caught on “the road less traveled”. Even Robert Frost would say, “Sorry dude … I can’t help you.”

If you don’t want this to be an issue with your friends, then don’t present the issue to them.

To answer your question on “how to”, as for myself, I keep it on-line (escort sites and such), videos and pictures (good exploration for what you like and dislike), sometimes troll the hotspots around town for that incredibly hot one here and there looking to make a buck (condoms condoms condoms are the order of the day). I can remain in my car, go to a discreet little hotel somewhere, have my fun, and for the most part no one I know frequents those areas of the city anyway -- I’m in and out. With all of that, things have remained cozy and comfy in my circles. I would suggest you somehow strive for that yourself. Trust your instincts! They know best.

[Dkg]

InHouston, I read what you posted, and while you do make some good points. You really don't know what a "real friend" is. A real friend is someone who helps you out in time of need, and doesn't call you a "fucking faggot" if you ever told them you liked guys or shemales. If my friend confided in me and told me he was gay, I would initially be shocked but in no way would i shun him nor reveal it to anyone he wouldn't want me to.

I think it's sad that someone would feel the need to live their life based on how others (and the worse part is they're supposedly the people closest to you and most understanding) would expect of you.

That's one of the main reasons I have to give props to alot of the girls around here. I mean if you think telling your friend/family that you like transsexuals is hard, how do you think it is to tell them that you ARE a transsexual.

Don't live your life in fear. If you have certain sexual desires or preferences, then that's just who YOU are, and to hide that for fear of how others may treat you is cowardly and wrong.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying everyone should just run around telling everyone their sexual preferences (since even I haven't told my friends yet, though one of them kinda already knows) but you should at least be able to be yourself and do what you want at your own discretion. In other words, go to that club/bar/whatever and who gives a **** if so-and-so saw you.

Just be like "yea, I was there so what?" and act like there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. If you act like you DID do something wrong then you're only giving them ammunition to use against you.

[InHouston]

InHouston, I read what you posted, and while you do make some good points. You really don't know what a "real friend" is. A real friend is someone who helps you out in time of need, and doesn't call you a "fucking faggot" if you ever told them you liked guys or shemales.

I agree with you 100%. A real friend would not call you a “fucking faggot”. I was simply trying to warn him of a hypothetical response he could get if he revealed his curiosity to his friends. You know how foolish and impetuous young males can be. That person could turn around and use that information against him in a derogatory manner – stab in the back, or just inadvertently let it slip one day. A reputation is not easily repaired even if the damage was unwarranted and false. It happened to me one time and I hope DaKilla reads this next paragraph and heeds the warning.

Many years back, my friend had the startling idea of watching a gay porno video. To be clear on this I asked why. We concluded that neither one of us were having gay tendencies or bi-curiosity, it was his idea, and nothing more than just intellectual curiosity on both our parts. So being the good friend I was, I agreed to the little misadventure. While watching it, we laughed and snickered for the first 5 minutes, and not long into it we got pretty disgusted, bored, disinterested, and turned the video off. We pretty much agreed (after what we witnessed) that there was no possibility of ever turning gay in this life given our propensity for the “female form”. Soon thereafter, his girlfriend came to pick him up and while leaving (right in front of her who was my friend as well) he says “Good night homes … enjoy your little fag movie.” This happened so fast and unexpectedly, I didn’t even have time to realize what he said, and I (looking stupid) said “Okay good night” and shut the door. I stood there behind the closed door in sudden disbelief wondering “Did he say what I think he just said?” Shocked and dismayed, I then heard them through an open window as they walked away. She asked “What was that all about?” He said “Oh he’s got some fag porno in there he was trying to get me to watch.” The last I heard was her responding with “Are you fucking serious?”

The nerve of him! The whole venture was his fucking idea in the first place! With clinched fists, I became absolutely fucking furious at how he slighted me with needless and opportunistic humiliation, probably stemming from the ill effects of “gay porno induced homophobia”. I confronted him the next day and he dismissed it as only a joke which only bolstered my anger. His girlfriend hardly said a word to me the next time I saw her, and I could tell by her demeanor around me, she believed I was gay, and probably attracted to her boyfriend. Fortunately, his relationships never lasted more than a week or two, so that inclement weather dissipated not long afterwards. Yet, I could never muster up any kind of permanent forgiveness about it, nor trust him completely ever again.

So my point to DaKilla was intended as, watch what you reveal to others because they may handle that information carelessly and foolishly.

Dkg, I’m 40 years old. I’ve been around the block more than once. I know what a “real friend” is. I have many friends and I have a few “real friends” who would never do that. In fact, one friend of mine was fooled by a tranny at a club, made out with her and all, only to find out as he was going home with her that she was a guy. I sat up with him all night and weathered his “winter of self-contempt” with him until I could get him to laugh about it and let it go. That is true friendship. And still, I never revealed my interest in TG’s nor even hinted at it. Figured it best to keep that locked down in the coffers of my private life; nice and safe.

DaKilla … heed the warning. Keep your mouth shut around your friends. You’ll have a hard time living it down should the wrong “friends” discover what you’re thinking about.

[Dkg]

Wow, what kind of friend would pull that on another. That's the kind of stuff that really pisses me off, and it could be in any situation, not the one you experienced.

I hate when people try to make themselves look better by throwning dirt on you. It sickens me. Are you still friends with this guy or what?

Anyways, I only have a few close friends. I don't subscribe to that I have 50 different "friends" b/c most of the time none of them are a "real friend". That's why I say it's ok to tell a real frined. I would only trust my few closest frineds with such info and no other "frineds". I know it will feel like a great weight has been lifted off your shoulders once you do tell someone in your real life.

Bearing something like that for the rest of your life without ever telling another living person could NOT be good for you. I love shemales, adore them, and I couldn't see myself "hiding" from that forever.

[InHouston]

Wow, what kind of friend would pull that on another. That's the kind of stuff that really pisses me off, and it could be in any situation, not the one you experienced.

I hate when people try to make themselves look better by throwning dirt on you. It sickens me. Are you still friends with this guy or what?

Anyways, I only have a few close friends. I don't subscribe to that I have 50 different "friends" b/c most of the time none of them are a "real friend". That's why I say it's ok to tell a real frined. I would only trust my few closest frineds with such info and no other "frineds". I know it will feel like a great weight has been lifted off your shoulders once you do tell someone in your real life.

Bearing something like that for the rest of your life without ever telling another living person could NOT be good for you. I love shemales, adore them, and I couldn't see myself "hiding" from that forever.

He was a lousy friend at that and the friendship ceased years ago. One day I'll tell someone. Just don't know who that someone would be, but I do know it would probably be a "best friend".

[flabbybody]

I was very uptight going to my first tranny party a few years back. You just have to suck it up and walk in. Yea, a double Grey Goose on the rocks helps. But you'd be surprised how comfortable you become after a while. You see famaliar faces (guys and girls) and you start making a whole new set of friends. In the beginning you're afraid to talk to another guy at one of these places. Then there's a kind of bonding. Almost like, "Hey, we see the light, we're into tgirls. the rest of the world has yet to come to their senses."

[BeardedOne]

Hey! :shock:

I know dis guy! :D

Welcome to HA, dude.

On the subject of which friends to trust, etc., I play it by ear and don't reveal all to everyone. There's one circle that I am more open with, but I think they're into some heavy interests that are, to me, just as off-the-wall as my desires may seem to them.

I think it actually reached a point where they started to have a pool going as to who/what I might show up to dinner with on any given night. Strong money was often on lesbians, pregnant women, and cute, androgynous boys. I still managed to surprise them occasionally. :) If any one of them had dissed my date, or my interest in being with them, they would have been shown the door.

As for who tells what to whom, I'm rather ambivalent. The only one I ever really worried about finding out what my proclivities were was my mom, who passed away last year. Even then, I'm pretty sure she thought I was gay and was just confused by the fact that I always semeed to show up with a dyke on my arm (Or, as it were, I on theirs).

Of course, there are some misguided souls that seemed to think that I had a rather promising political career ahead of me. I have, I think, done my very best to sabotage that but every day I see the papers I am scared to think they might just vote for me no matter whose dick I had in my mouth at the time. :roll:

[DJ_Asia]

There is no need to tell anybody anything,at least in the beginnng.If your interests are simply meeting a girl for a one night fling then keep it on the DL,unless you have a cool friend that would understand it.

The situation changes dramatically if you decide to go for a LTR with a girl.Trust me when I tell you that these girls absolutely hate being somebody's "dirty little secret"....especially if she loves you.

If and when that happens you will need to make some serious choices in your life....but hey im getting way ahead of the game.

Lets see if you can go to a party alone before we talk about relationships.

DJ Asia

[BeardedOne]

The situation changes dramatically if you decide to go for a LTR with a girl.Trust me when I tell you that these girls absolutely hate being somebody's "dirty little secret"....especially if she loves you.

That applies to any relationship, not just TS/TG. Take my word for it, BTDT, if you can't share the person with your lifestyle and vice/versa, you're screwed.

Many years ago, during one of my 'gay phases' (They really do happen), I had some serious soul-searching as regards coming out to the world-at-large (Most of my friends were 100% cool about it) with my then-'lover', but there were moments/situations where the atmosphere didn't jibe and our feelings for each other weren't strong enough to jump the hurdles. :cry: In both cases we knew that we couldn't downplay the relationship for the sake of our individual cultural and familial appearances.

If you get to the point where you're looking at an LTR status, you'lll really need to scrutinize your friends and determine which ones are true and which ones only classify as 'acquaintences'.

Family? Well, shit, you're stuck with them. :wink: