Hermaphrodite2B
08-23-2011, 10:17 AM
Hi,
I suppose that I am the only one from an non-English speaking and even Muslim country. Although I am strictly not religious, but this the situation.
I would like to introduce myself and I hope that you accept me as I am. My situation is a bit weird.
BTW I am sorry that my English is not perfect as English is third language.
Anyway, I am 50 years old, genetic male, unfortunately!
Besides that I am a plastic surgeon. The reason for being a physician and for deciding to be a plastic surgeon even before attempting the medical college has been my desire, my curiosity and everything else to change the way I am and even to help the others.
Years has gone. Thoughts in me have never changed. I waited and waited. Even I married supposing that this may be change the way I think about myself. Of course without any success.
I don't see myself as male but unfortunately also not as a female too.
I perfomed GRS operation with success. I've seen my patients of being the most happy people in the world that I met. Inevitably these have brought to me to considerations about GRS. In the end I decided that a regular MtF GRS won't suit me.
I had always had the feeling that I need caring, support, affection, empathy and love of a lover. I have had always the feeling that without that special one all of these transformations will have no reason. Silly I know but it is the way I feel.
Recently I posted an email regarding my situation and my demand to almost all the known GRS surgeons in the world; being Mrs Dr. Marci Bowers the first. I had the feeling that Dr BOwers will understand me mostly, but unfortunately she is the one who did not answered my email. She even handed it over to another surgeon on Thailand. Actually I was very disappointed.
As I have written this email once and pasted it to the email addresses of the others, I missed the sentence where I had mentioned to Dr BOwers that she had also had GRS. Bucause of that all the other surgeons had to respond that they didn't
Anyway, I got very different reacitons from all of them. Some said "No", some said "Yes", some demanded the consultation fee right before hand etc.
I would like to paste this email here too and I would like to kindly ask your opinions. If you are interested I can only post the answers of the surgeons and we can discuss about it.
As I am a plastic surgeon and as I have been performing GRS I know what can be technically achieved and not.
As I have a social status and as I am throughly not clear about me I want to be disguised and that's why I didn't write with my legal name to the doctors too. I hope that you can understand me.
Anyway here is the email that I have sent to the surgeons:
Hi,
I am a Turkish plastic surgeon living in Istanbul. I was not a normal child since the time I can remember. Sorry for my English as it is not my native language. The personal history is much about the same as with other TG patients. I always wanted to be a physician and to be a plastic surgeon in order to get to know and to be able to perform GRS surgeries. I managed and I became a plastic surgeon, I performed GRS with success too, but couldn't manage what I mostly desired. I haven't had the courage to let my gender to change. In the meantime I got acknowledged with the pitfalls of MtF surgical outcomes which held me back for a time too.
Unfortunately I got married and have a daughter who is 13 years old now. I am 50 years old.
This is the first time that someone other than me gets this information. As I want to be in disguise I had to use this email and not my official email, and I am sure that as a colleague of mine you will keep my secret too.
I have a few questions regarding my situation. Before writing down my questions to you, I would like to share a tiny experience I had. Years ago I met a TS on the net. She demanded from me a genital operation where I had to keep her penis and build a vagina too. I said that it could be achieved technically but that I had to be sure about its ethical and legal side. I had written that to Harry Benjamin Institute. I was amazed when I read the reply from them. Shortly speaking they were telling me that I may operate if I am sure that I can achieve her goal technically and that she will be happy thereafter. Nevertheless I resigned from operating her because I was still not sure about its ethical and legal consequences.
Actually this patient was almost a reflection of me in the mirror. Actually this is what I am striving for. Up and then I searched the internet on this subject. Lastly I remarked that there appears a lot of informations regarding people who want to be a so called intersexed and that it is legal and can be done. Someone nicknamed hermaphrodite84 tells about her surgery . I emailed her but did not get an answer yet.
As I am a plastic surgeon and familiar with genitourinary surgeries I know exactly what can be done, what must be done and how it has to be done. I know what kind of collateral surgeries I have to take previously. Once there was an article on Dr. Anne Lawrence's website about a TS dentist where the surgeon kept her testicles in order not to diminish her libido and resettled them in her abdomen ("Meet Tess -- A New Dance of Scalpel and Soul" by J. J. Allen). Unfortunately it is not available anymore. I don't want to take hormone treatment as I am a smoker and 50 years old. I suppose that the feminine outlook can be achieved with surgical treatments too. At least to some extend. Besides that I don't want to loose my libido that's why I want to keep my testicles.
I know that I am not normal, but this is me and this is a burning flame inside me that is not going to be extinguished until I die. As I am integrated well to my social and professional role I don't suppose that I can be called as a schizoid type or whatsoever.
Nevertheless I am fairly sure about the technical side of such a metamorphosis but I am not sure about its social and familial outcomes. I have to make my mind clear. Either I have to know that it is illegal and unethical at least with the international standards of today and then I have to give up and be ready to live and die as I am. On the contrary if it can be done then I have to wait until my familial and social environment can accept such a huge change of me. If it will be the latter case I will at least be able to calm my soul that it can be achieved and that I have to wait for that moment.
My questions are:
1. Is it over with being 50 years old? (I don't want to take hormone treatments as it will be too dangerous for a smoker with my age)
2. Is it really legal to have or to perform such an operation, as it is not a regular GRS?
3. I know that you've had GRS too and that's why I have chosen to ask you. You can be the only one who can understand me and have empathy with me at least to some extend. What would be your opinions regarding social, professional life?
Please take my apologies for taking so much of your time.
Thank you very much for reading my email.
Best regards
I hope that my first post was not too long and boring
My best wishes to all of you
Keep well
Ceren
I suppose that I am the only one from an non-English speaking and even Muslim country. Although I am strictly not religious, but this the situation.
I would like to introduce myself and I hope that you accept me as I am. My situation is a bit weird.
BTW I am sorry that my English is not perfect as English is third language.
Anyway, I am 50 years old, genetic male, unfortunately!
Besides that I am a plastic surgeon. The reason for being a physician and for deciding to be a plastic surgeon even before attempting the medical college has been my desire, my curiosity and everything else to change the way I am and even to help the others.
Years has gone. Thoughts in me have never changed. I waited and waited. Even I married supposing that this may be change the way I think about myself. Of course without any success.
I don't see myself as male but unfortunately also not as a female too.
I perfomed GRS operation with success. I've seen my patients of being the most happy people in the world that I met. Inevitably these have brought to me to considerations about GRS. In the end I decided that a regular MtF GRS won't suit me.
I had always had the feeling that I need caring, support, affection, empathy and love of a lover. I have had always the feeling that without that special one all of these transformations will have no reason. Silly I know but it is the way I feel.
Recently I posted an email regarding my situation and my demand to almost all the known GRS surgeons in the world; being Mrs Dr. Marci Bowers the first. I had the feeling that Dr BOwers will understand me mostly, but unfortunately she is the one who did not answered my email. She even handed it over to another surgeon on Thailand. Actually I was very disappointed.
As I have written this email once and pasted it to the email addresses of the others, I missed the sentence where I had mentioned to Dr BOwers that she had also had GRS. Bucause of that all the other surgeons had to respond that they didn't
Anyway, I got very different reacitons from all of them. Some said "No", some said "Yes", some demanded the consultation fee right before hand etc.
I would like to paste this email here too and I would like to kindly ask your opinions. If you are interested I can only post the answers of the surgeons and we can discuss about it.
As I am a plastic surgeon and as I have been performing GRS I know what can be technically achieved and not.
As I have a social status and as I am throughly not clear about me I want to be disguised and that's why I didn't write with my legal name to the doctors too. I hope that you can understand me.
Anyway here is the email that I have sent to the surgeons:
Hi,
I am a Turkish plastic surgeon living in Istanbul. I was not a normal child since the time I can remember. Sorry for my English as it is not my native language. The personal history is much about the same as with other TG patients. I always wanted to be a physician and to be a plastic surgeon in order to get to know and to be able to perform GRS surgeries. I managed and I became a plastic surgeon, I performed GRS with success too, but couldn't manage what I mostly desired. I haven't had the courage to let my gender to change. In the meantime I got acknowledged with the pitfalls of MtF surgical outcomes which held me back for a time too.
Unfortunately I got married and have a daughter who is 13 years old now. I am 50 years old.
This is the first time that someone other than me gets this information. As I want to be in disguise I had to use this email and not my official email, and I am sure that as a colleague of mine you will keep my secret too.
I have a few questions regarding my situation. Before writing down my questions to you, I would like to share a tiny experience I had. Years ago I met a TS on the net. She demanded from me a genital operation where I had to keep her penis and build a vagina too. I said that it could be achieved technically but that I had to be sure about its ethical and legal side. I had written that to Harry Benjamin Institute. I was amazed when I read the reply from them. Shortly speaking they were telling me that I may operate if I am sure that I can achieve her goal technically and that she will be happy thereafter. Nevertheless I resigned from operating her because I was still not sure about its ethical and legal consequences.
Actually this patient was almost a reflection of me in the mirror. Actually this is what I am striving for. Up and then I searched the internet on this subject. Lastly I remarked that there appears a lot of informations regarding people who want to be a so called intersexed and that it is legal and can be done. Someone nicknamed hermaphrodite84 tells about her surgery . I emailed her but did not get an answer yet.
As I am a plastic surgeon and familiar with genitourinary surgeries I know exactly what can be done, what must be done and how it has to be done. I know what kind of collateral surgeries I have to take previously. Once there was an article on Dr. Anne Lawrence's website about a TS dentist where the surgeon kept her testicles in order not to diminish her libido and resettled them in her abdomen ("Meet Tess -- A New Dance of Scalpel and Soul" by J. J. Allen). Unfortunately it is not available anymore. I don't want to take hormone treatment as I am a smoker and 50 years old. I suppose that the feminine outlook can be achieved with surgical treatments too. At least to some extend. Besides that I don't want to loose my libido that's why I want to keep my testicles.
I know that I am not normal, but this is me and this is a burning flame inside me that is not going to be extinguished until I die. As I am integrated well to my social and professional role I don't suppose that I can be called as a schizoid type or whatsoever.
Nevertheless I am fairly sure about the technical side of such a metamorphosis but I am not sure about its social and familial outcomes. I have to make my mind clear. Either I have to know that it is illegal and unethical at least with the international standards of today and then I have to give up and be ready to live and die as I am. On the contrary if it can be done then I have to wait until my familial and social environment can accept such a huge change of me. If it will be the latter case I will at least be able to calm my soul that it can be achieved and that I have to wait for that moment.
My questions are:
1. Is it over with being 50 years old? (I don't want to take hormone treatments as it will be too dangerous for a smoker with my age)
2. Is it really legal to have or to perform such an operation, as it is not a regular GRS?
3. I know that you've had GRS too and that's why I have chosen to ask you. You can be the only one who can understand me and have empathy with me at least to some extend. What would be your opinions regarding social, professional life?
Please take my apologies for taking so much of your time.
Thank you very much for reading my email.
Best regards
I hope that my first post was not too long and boring
My best wishes to all of you
Keep well
Ceren